43 reviews! Who cares if they weren't all good, it's still a new record
for me.
Disclaimer: I really do own Yugioh, Kazuki Takahashi just borrows it from time to time.
Just so you all know, for this chapter Rishid will revert back to being Odion. The reason for this change is that he is back to being a moron, and we all know that I wouldn't want to be mean to Rishid. Also I must take this opportunity to apologize for not updating anything for such a long time. I actually have an excuse, but I shall not bore you with it. On to the potatoes!
It was a cloudy evening in downtown Battle city, the sun had just lowered under the horizon and all should be quiet, but it's not. A blonde haired man speeds down the street on a motorcycle, behind him another man wearing a cloak hops on a small pogo stick. They seem to be headed someplace, but where? You'd know if you had read the last chapter!
Odion: Are we there yet master Malik?
Malik: Almost Odion, so stop your whining!
Odion: I'm sorry, it's just that I've been hopping for over an hour and my legs are getting tired.
Malik: Well that's what you get for picking a pogo stick for transportation.
Odion: Well then, can I ride with you on the motorcycle?
Malik: No! Now keep hopping!
Odion: This sort of thing never would have happened in the Japanese version. grumble grumble.
Malik: Yeah, well it also wouldn't happen if you tried harder.
Odion: What is wrong with you master Malik? Why are you so angry today?
Malik: I don't know. Its like there's somebody controlling me and making me do these mean things.
Odion: Is it that evil yami of yours?
Malik: No, it's probably just that stupid author!
Odion: Hey look we're almost there!
And sure enough, they were. Just ahead of our two heroes stood the site of the Battle city finals. Sure it looked like just a well-lit construction site, but we all know better than that.
The pair left their "vehicles" parked outside and walked in through the back entrance. They had better be careful, Yugi and co. can't be far behind.
Odion: All right master Malik, now what do we do?
Malik: Now you get to go and do all of the things that I taught you.
Odion: You mean how to look pretty without a shirt?
Malik: Everything except that.
Odion: God damnit!
Malik: Odion did you already forget what I said last chapter about what happens when you do something offensive?
Odion: Uh, yeah.
Malik: Then you shall have to see it again!
Suddenly from the depths of Hades, the American editor appeared!
American editor: Tsk, tsk, tsk, we can't let a minor swear word be heard by the viewing audience edits Odion
Edited Odion: Oh fiddlesticks!
Malik: See?
Odion: Now I feel like such a fool!
Malik: Not so loud Odion! I think I hear some people coming.
And sure enough here comes Yugi and co. being their stupid, annoying, friendship ranting selves. Oh and Kujaku Mai was with them too. Yay! does the traditional celebratory Mai-is-in-this-chapter-dance
Malik: Look the Pharaoh is here!
Odion: The Pharaoh? But that looks like Katsuya Jonouchi.
Malik: Next to him you fool.
Odion: Do you mean the midget trying to look up that Anzu girl's skirt?
Malik: Yes that's the one, so are you now ready to make your big appearance?
Odion: I think that I am, but I'm still so nervous about having to be you.
Malik: Why would anyone be nervous about being me?
Odion: Well there's just so much pressure that goes along with it. What if I were to make a mistake?
Malik: Don't worry, I'll be there to help you out.
Odion: But master, won't they know that it's you if you are there telling me what to do?
Malik: They won't if we use my genius private communications device!
Odion: Private communications device? That's just two tin cans with a string between them!
Malik: It's the best that I could come up with on such short notice! Your lucky I don't just make you into a mind slave and have you do my bidding that way!
Odion: I'm sorry master Malik.
Malik: Good, now go out there and make me proud.
Odion: As you command master.
So Odion exited the shadows and started walking towards the group while Malik remained hidden from view. Que standard western movie whistling music.
Honda: Hey look, somebody's walking this way.
Jonouchi: Hey that looks like that guy I saw before!
Malik: Good, it is already working. They are already believing that Odion is really me, now they are bound to be convinced so long as Odion doesn't do anything stupid.
Odion: Beware foolish mortals! I am Malik Ishta...
It was at that moment that Odion walked right into a pole.
Malik: Odion you baka!
Otogi: You've seen this I guy before Jonouchi?
Jonouchi: Yeah I'm sure that I have but I just can't place where it was that I saw him.
Anzu: I remember, he was that evil Malik guy we saw!
Jonouchi: Naw, I think that was someone else. I think that this guy is the ice cream man.
Odion: holding his nose; I am no ice cream man you fool! I am the great and powerful Malik Ishtal!
Jonouchi: Well then nice to meet you, can I have that snow cone now?
Yugi: Don't make fun of this guy Jonouchi!
Odion: How's this for a snow cone mortal!?
Our little wannabe Malik then proceeded to beat Jonouchi senseless with the fake sennen rod. It was odd that no one noticed the gold paint coming off on Jonouchi, or how the corn chips on the sides were cracking.
Shizuka: Oh no! Are you okay big brother?
Jonouchi: Owwww, I fell on my bum bum.
At that exact moment the Kaiba brothers decided to show up!
Kaiba: Katsuya Jonouchi, once again I find you making a fool of yourself. And in front of my pretty new blimp too.
Odion: You are Seto Kaiba?
Kaiba: Who wants to know?
Malik: Odion is doing great, he just needs to make sure not to screw up like last time.
Odion: I have come for your Egyptian God card, my name is Malik Isht...
Odion then walked into another pole, despite the fact that he was standing perfectly still.
Malik: Oh why did I not pick a better servant to be my stand in Malik?
Jonouchi: Hey Kaiba! Don't you dare let this freak join the tournament!
Kaiba:...
Yugi: Yeah Kaiba, this guy is bad news. You don't know what you are getting yourself into.
Kaiba:...
Mai: I'm freaking awesome, so I don't rightly care what you do!
Kaiba:...
Anzu: Please Kaiba, don't let him get on the blimp.
Kaiba:...
Honda: Come on Kaiba, say something!
Yugi: Let us all listen intently to what Kaiba has to say.
Kaiba:.....................................douchebag.
And with that, Kaiba walked away from the group and entered the blimp.
Yugi: Douchebag? What does Kaiba mean by that?
Mokuba: Don't worry, I know what my big brother meant.
Otogi: You do? All right little wooden horse boy!
Mokuba: My brother said that if we didn't let this Malik person on the blimp, then he would not be able to win all the god cards. Therefore Malik will be allowed to come on the blimp, and will get the nicest room for himself. Also my big brother thinks that you all are douchebags.
Jonouchi: Wow, all of that from one word.
At that time Malik decided the time was right to make his way into the chaos, and stepped out of the shadows towards them.
Honda: Yo who is that over there?
Anzu: Hey, that looks like that Namu guy that we met before.
Yugi: Hello there Namu person that I have never met, though feel like I know.
Malik: Hello pharaoh! Err I mean nice to meet you.
Yugi: to the others; He seems nice.
Malik: also to himself; Ha these fools don't suspect a thing! They are even too stupid to notice the string connecting us from our phone.
Jonouchi: So Namu, how's your cheese doing today?
Otogi: Shut up Jonouchi! Shouldn't you be hitting on Mai or something?
Jonouchi Hey good idea! goes off to be lecherous
Odion: I'll just assume that no one even remembers that I am standing here.
Yugi: No we remember that you are there, we just fail to rightly give a damn. So we're getting on the blimp now.
And true to his word, Yugi and co. made their way onto the blimp. Mai had to say something about her awesomeness first, but they really did get on afterwards. Malik was a good enough actor to get on with them, which left Odion standing there with some of Kaiba's goons.
Odion: Well I'm glad that's finally over. I guess that I can finally get on the blimp and ...
Poor little Odion then stepped on a rake.
Odion: Grrrrr! It's just the dub, it's just the dub, this would never happen without those editors.
He then made it onto the blimp, and the chapter should have ended there, but it didn't!
We're forgetting about someone very unimportant! Ishizu!
begin the poor tasting sneeze jokes
Ishizu: I will now act as though I have some relevance to this story and get onto the blimp.
Guard 1: I'm sorry mam, but only those with six locator cards are allowed upon the Seahorse blimp.
Ishizu: But I do have all the locator cards does Jedi mind trick
Guard 2: Well then, just let us take down your personal information so that you may join the finals.
Guard 1: State you name please.
Ishizu: Ishizu.
Guard 1: Oh bless you. But really what was your name?
Ishizu: Like I just said, my name is Ishizu.
Guard 2: I'm sorry, are you allergic to something?
Guard 1: I knew that I should not have worn that cologne... people always sneeze when I wear it...
Guard 2: But seriously though, what is your name?
Ishizu: Once again I clearly state, my name is Ishizu Ishtal.
Guard 2: Again bless you. But why are you stuttering now too?
Guard 1: All right, now just say your name and try not to sneeze.
Ishizu: Fine then god damn you! My name is bleeping Isis! Are you happy now!?
Guard 2: Well then nice to have you here, welcome aboard the blimp Ms. Isis.
Ishizu: One of these days... I'll kill them all...
And with that they got on the blimp and the chapter finally ended.
end poor tasting sneeze jokes
To Be Continued...
Malik: And so chapter 4 finally ends. That lazy bleep Tsuni took forever to get that one finished. I tried whipping her to make her work faster, but she just ended up liking that. But could you blame her?
Random person with hentai mind: No, tee hee hee!
Malik: Fact proven! And some advice; more reviews = chapter 5 showing up sooner.
Disclaimer: I really do own Yugioh, Kazuki Takahashi just borrows it from time to time.
Just so you all know, for this chapter Rishid will revert back to being Odion. The reason for this change is that he is back to being a moron, and we all know that I wouldn't want to be mean to Rishid. Also I must take this opportunity to apologize for not updating anything for such a long time. I actually have an excuse, but I shall not bore you with it. On to the potatoes!
It was a cloudy evening in downtown Battle city, the sun had just lowered under the horizon and all should be quiet, but it's not. A blonde haired man speeds down the street on a motorcycle, behind him another man wearing a cloak hops on a small pogo stick. They seem to be headed someplace, but where? You'd know if you had read the last chapter!
Odion: Are we there yet master Malik?
Malik: Almost Odion, so stop your whining!
Odion: I'm sorry, it's just that I've been hopping for over an hour and my legs are getting tired.
Malik: Well that's what you get for picking a pogo stick for transportation.
Odion: Well then, can I ride with you on the motorcycle?
Malik: No! Now keep hopping!
Odion: This sort of thing never would have happened in the Japanese version. grumble grumble.
Malik: Yeah, well it also wouldn't happen if you tried harder.
Odion: What is wrong with you master Malik? Why are you so angry today?
Malik: I don't know. Its like there's somebody controlling me and making me do these mean things.
Odion: Is it that evil yami of yours?
Malik: No, it's probably just that stupid author!
Odion: Hey look we're almost there!
And sure enough, they were. Just ahead of our two heroes stood the site of the Battle city finals. Sure it looked like just a well-lit construction site, but we all know better than that.
The pair left their "vehicles" parked outside and walked in through the back entrance. They had better be careful, Yugi and co. can't be far behind.
Odion: All right master Malik, now what do we do?
Malik: Now you get to go and do all of the things that I taught you.
Odion: You mean how to look pretty without a shirt?
Malik: Everything except that.
Odion: God damnit!
Malik: Odion did you already forget what I said last chapter about what happens when you do something offensive?
Odion: Uh, yeah.
Malik: Then you shall have to see it again!
Suddenly from the depths of Hades, the American editor appeared!
American editor: Tsk, tsk, tsk, we can't let a minor swear word be heard by the viewing audience edits Odion
Edited Odion: Oh fiddlesticks!
Malik: See?
Odion: Now I feel like such a fool!
Malik: Not so loud Odion! I think I hear some people coming.
And sure enough here comes Yugi and co. being their stupid, annoying, friendship ranting selves. Oh and Kujaku Mai was with them too. Yay! does the traditional celebratory Mai-is-in-this-chapter-dance
Malik: Look the Pharaoh is here!
Odion: The Pharaoh? But that looks like Katsuya Jonouchi.
Malik: Next to him you fool.
Odion: Do you mean the midget trying to look up that Anzu girl's skirt?
Malik: Yes that's the one, so are you now ready to make your big appearance?
Odion: I think that I am, but I'm still so nervous about having to be you.
Malik: Why would anyone be nervous about being me?
Odion: Well there's just so much pressure that goes along with it. What if I were to make a mistake?
Malik: Don't worry, I'll be there to help you out.
Odion: But master, won't they know that it's you if you are there telling me what to do?
Malik: They won't if we use my genius private communications device!
Odion: Private communications device? That's just two tin cans with a string between them!
Malik: It's the best that I could come up with on such short notice! Your lucky I don't just make you into a mind slave and have you do my bidding that way!
Odion: I'm sorry master Malik.
Malik: Good, now go out there and make me proud.
Odion: As you command master.
So Odion exited the shadows and started walking towards the group while Malik remained hidden from view. Que standard western movie whistling music.
Honda: Hey look, somebody's walking this way.
Jonouchi: Hey that looks like that guy I saw before!
Malik: Good, it is already working. They are already believing that Odion is really me, now they are bound to be convinced so long as Odion doesn't do anything stupid.
Odion: Beware foolish mortals! I am Malik Ishta...
It was at that moment that Odion walked right into a pole.
Malik: Odion you baka!
Otogi: You've seen this I guy before Jonouchi?
Jonouchi: Yeah I'm sure that I have but I just can't place where it was that I saw him.
Anzu: I remember, he was that evil Malik guy we saw!
Jonouchi: Naw, I think that was someone else. I think that this guy is the ice cream man.
Odion: holding his nose; I am no ice cream man you fool! I am the great and powerful Malik Ishtal!
Jonouchi: Well then nice to meet you, can I have that snow cone now?
Yugi: Don't make fun of this guy Jonouchi!
Odion: How's this for a snow cone mortal!?
Our little wannabe Malik then proceeded to beat Jonouchi senseless with the fake sennen rod. It was odd that no one noticed the gold paint coming off on Jonouchi, or how the corn chips on the sides were cracking.
Shizuka: Oh no! Are you okay big brother?
Jonouchi: Owwww, I fell on my bum bum.
At that exact moment the Kaiba brothers decided to show up!
Kaiba: Katsuya Jonouchi, once again I find you making a fool of yourself. And in front of my pretty new blimp too.
Odion: You are Seto Kaiba?
Kaiba: Who wants to know?
Malik: Odion is doing great, he just needs to make sure not to screw up like last time.
Odion: I have come for your Egyptian God card, my name is Malik Isht...
Odion then walked into another pole, despite the fact that he was standing perfectly still.
Malik: Oh why did I not pick a better servant to be my stand in Malik?
Jonouchi: Hey Kaiba! Don't you dare let this freak join the tournament!
Kaiba:...
Yugi: Yeah Kaiba, this guy is bad news. You don't know what you are getting yourself into.
Kaiba:...
Mai: I'm freaking awesome, so I don't rightly care what you do!
Kaiba:...
Anzu: Please Kaiba, don't let him get on the blimp.
Kaiba:...
Honda: Come on Kaiba, say something!
Yugi: Let us all listen intently to what Kaiba has to say.
Kaiba:.....................................douchebag.
And with that, Kaiba walked away from the group and entered the blimp.
Yugi: Douchebag? What does Kaiba mean by that?
Mokuba: Don't worry, I know what my big brother meant.
Otogi: You do? All right little wooden horse boy!
Mokuba: My brother said that if we didn't let this Malik person on the blimp, then he would not be able to win all the god cards. Therefore Malik will be allowed to come on the blimp, and will get the nicest room for himself. Also my big brother thinks that you all are douchebags.
Jonouchi: Wow, all of that from one word.
At that time Malik decided the time was right to make his way into the chaos, and stepped out of the shadows towards them.
Honda: Yo who is that over there?
Anzu: Hey, that looks like that Namu guy that we met before.
Yugi: Hello there Namu person that I have never met, though feel like I know.
Malik: Hello pharaoh! Err I mean nice to meet you.
Yugi: to the others; He seems nice.
Malik: also to himself; Ha these fools don't suspect a thing! They are even too stupid to notice the string connecting us from our phone.
Jonouchi: So Namu, how's your cheese doing today?
Otogi: Shut up Jonouchi! Shouldn't you be hitting on Mai or something?
Jonouchi Hey good idea! goes off to be lecherous
Odion: I'll just assume that no one even remembers that I am standing here.
Yugi: No we remember that you are there, we just fail to rightly give a damn. So we're getting on the blimp now.
And true to his word, Yugi and co. made their way onto the blimp. Mai had to say something about her awesomeness first, but they really did get on afterwards. Malik was a good enough actor to get on with them, which left Odion standing there with some of Kaiba's goons.
Odion: Well I'm glad that's finally over. I guess that I can finally get on the blimp and ...
Poor little Odion then stepped on a rake.
Odion: Grrrrr! It's just the dub, it's just the dub, this would never happen without those editors.
He then made it onto the blimp, and the chapter should have ended there, but it didn't!
We're forgetting about someone very unimportant! Ishizu!
begin the poor tasting sneeze jokes
Ishizu: I will now act as though I have some relevance to this story and get onto the blimp.
Guard 1: I'm sorry mam, but only those with six locator cards are allowed upon the Seahorse blimp.
Ishizu: But I do have all the locator cards does Jedi mind trick
Guard 2: Well then, just let us take down your personal information so that you may join the finals.
Guard 1: State you name please.
Ishizu: Ishizu.
Guard 1: Oh bless you. But really what was your name?
Ishizu: Like I just said, my name is Ishizu.
Guard 2: I'm sorry, are you allergic to something?
Guard 1: I knew that I should not have worn that cologne... people always sneeze when I wear it...
Guard 2: But seriously though, what is your name?
Ishizu: Once again I clearly state, my name is Ishizu Ishtal.
Guard 2: Again bless you. But why are you stuttering now too?
Guard 1: All right, now just say your name and try not to sneeze.
Ishizu: Fine then god damn you! My name is bleeping Isis! Are you happy now!?
Guard 2: Well then nice to have you here, welcome aboard the blimp Ms. Isis.
Ishizu: One of these days... I'll kill them all...
And with that they got on the blimp and the chapter finally ended.
end poor tasting sneeze jokes
To Be Continued...
Malik: And so chapter 4 finally ends. That lazy bleep Tsuni took forever to get that one finished. I tried whipping her to make her work faster, but she just ended up liking that. But could you blame her?
Random person with hentai mind: No, tee hee hee!
Malik: Fact proven! And some advice; more reviews = chapter 5 showing up sooner.