Summary: Another day in the life of a teenager. Joan tries to juggle a "suggestion" from God, her friends, and attempts at accepting Iris in Adam's life.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone from Joan of Arcadia or any songs that appear in this fic. I wouldn't mind having Christopher Marquette, though. .
Ratings: PG – just in case of swearing
AN: More Adam and Joan fluff! Yay! Thanks for all the reviews… Keep them coming.
Joan quickly gathered her things and rushed over to where Luke was just leaving their mutual AP Chemistry class. She didn't bother waiting for Grace or Adam, considering they hadn't acknowledged that she was alive the entire class time. She knew something was definitely up with t he two, but she couldn't figure it out. 'Maybe the boy genius might have some suggestions.'
"Hey, Nerdboy, wait up."
Luke stopped and turned to see his sister hurrying over to him. He was extremely surprised by this, considering she tried to avoid him at all costs and to disavow any claims of being related. If he wasn't so interested in her reasons for searching him out, he would have said something about her annoying nickname.
"Wow, what do I owe the honor of this visit?"
"Can it, dog boy. I need some advice, and you seem to be pretty intelligent-"
"True, my IQ is above average-"
"Whatever. Anyways, have you noticed Grace and Adam acting weird?"
"Adam spacing, Grace scowling… No, not really."
"Besides that… They're doing that more than usual. Adam won't speak to me – barely even says hello, and Grace is avoiding me. First she tells me she has to talk, then you interrupt, and now she won't say anything. And then there is the fact of the pageant and how no one either wants me in it, or thinks I have a small chance at making it without embarrassing myself."
Before Luke could say anything about the things she was complaining about, she took a deep breathe and launched right back into her spiel: "Speaking of the Pageant, I overheard one of the girls get insulted by her parents over the pageant, and I really want t o talk to her about it, but I'm not sure if I should stick my nose in, when normally I do – and you know where that leads. UGH! It's hopeless…." With a moan of despair, Joan headed away from him towards the gymnasium, muttering to herself. 'Everyone is acting just as they normally do – weird.' Luke shook his head, and began following his sister's retreating form. 'I can't believe we're related. I must be adopted.'
Joan was glad when the last bell rang indicating her release. Today had been frustrating – her friends' behaviors, not getting a chance to talk to Amber, and still having to practice her grace when she got home. But for now, she would concentrate on her talent, which she had decided on. She was going to sing a song, and after much debating, she finally selected a song. She had no idea if it would fit the theme of the pageant, but she didn't really care about that. She had no hopes of actually winning, and 'God never said she had to win, right? Just join.'
She shoved all of her books and belongings into her already cramped locker, making sure not to crush the cheerleader, and then slammed the door shut before walking down the hall towards the music room. She rounded the corner, and stopped in her tracks when she heard a beautiful melody from within. She peered around the corner, spotting the pretty, auburn-haired girl that she had been looking for earlier. She kept quiet, listening as she sang the last note with such a feeling of sadness, that it made Joan's eyes sting with tears. She blinked them away, and then walked into the room, knocking on the partially open door along the way to announce her presence. Amber opened her eyes in surprise that someone was there, then smiled at the girl.
"Hi, Joan. Sorry, I guess I was in another place.."
"Hey, don't apologize. That was great… I wish I could sound as great as you do."
"You actually think so? Thanks." Amber's cheeks tinged pink at the compliment, hearing them so infrequently from those that should matter. She shook herself from those gloomy thoughts, not wanting to spoil the moment with such dismal things.
"Um… Amber. I hope I'm not being too nosy, but I couldn't help overhearing your talk yesterday with your parents. I wasn't eavesdropping, though. I was leaving the auditorium when I saw you guys by the entrance." Joan gave a nervous laugh, realizing that she was rambling once again. "Anyway… is everything okay?"
"Oh yeah… Like I said on Tuesday, my parents are really into the pageant. It's no big deal or anything, they just want me to do my best."
"But the way they talked to you-"
"Listen, Joan… I think you're a really nice girl, and I'm glad that I met you and got to talk with you this past week, but really. There's nothing going on, and no reason to think otherwise. Now, I've really got to go. I've got to get some homework finished then practice some more. Good luck." Amber pasted on a fake smile, walking hurriedly past Joan and down the hall towards the lockers, feeling Joan's conflicted gaze on her the entire time. She had so wanted to confide in the other girl, but she just couldn't. How could she understand the pressure she was under? And she really wasn't much for complaining. She closed her eyes briefly, a single tear escaping her green, tormented eyes wishing things were different. She sighed knowing it was pointless to wish for things like that, hadn't she been wishing that since she was little? She straightened her shoulders then walked out the doors to go home.
"I wish there was something I could do…"
"Patience, Joan."
Joan turned to see the cute boy in the tan jacket leaning next to the door jamb, watching Amber disappear through the front doors. She hadn't even seen him approach, but then again, he was God, he probably wiggled his nose and teleported to places.
"I'm God, not Samantha on Bewitched."
"Are you saying I need patience?"
"Joan, humans are complex creatures. You can never fully know or understand a person in one day, that develops over time-"
"So, you're saying that I'll never really know what's going on in her life or a way to help her out? Until I've known her longer? Oh, I'm so confused. Why can't you be straight?"
"I thought I was. All I'm 'saying' is, don't rush her or anything for that matter. Things have a way of coming together in the end."
"Don't rush? We only have tomorrow to 'get to know each other' before the big day of the pageant. That doesn't leave me much time to get to know her-"
"You'd be surprised. Don't you have some practicing to do?" Without another word, God walked away from Joan giving her a quick wave before disappearing around the corner. Joan scrunched her face up in annoyance then turned to the music room. She wondered if she'd ever understand him at all, and then answered her own question – not in this lifetime. Sighing, she walked over to the CD player and popped in her CD. She waited for the music cue then began singing.
Adam was walking down the hall, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. He kept his head lowered, and his eyes to the ground, completely lost in thought – as he had been all day. He was thinking about the conversation he had with Iris after their art class; a conversation that didn't go that well, not that he was really expecting it to. How could breaking up with your girlfriend turn out good? He sighed, reaching down to put an empty soda can into his messenger bag, trying to sort out his feelings. He felt relieved that he had finally told Iris of his feelings; he felt free of the burden the relationship had cast on him; and he felt a little depressed. He never actually dumped a girl before – granted he only had one actual girlfriend, but it left him feeling horrible. He knew she was the one to initiate it, and she obviously knew the outcome, because she wasn't surprised with what he told her, but he still felt like he betrayed her.
He had tried to care for her the way he had for Joan, but he couldn't do it. When he conjured up the feelings, his mind would picture the way Joan would smile, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, the nervous way she fiddled with her scarf… He never realized, but it was always Joan that he was with, even if it was Iris physically standing next to him. Why didn't he realize this sooner? Why did he waste so much time? 'Because you didn't want to take the risk of Joan, when you had the comforts of Iris.' He knew there was no use denying it. With Joan, you risked, you dared… You basically lived. With Iris, you could hide, you could pretend, and you didn't have to change or grow.
In the beginning, that's what he needed. He felt so empty and hurt when Joan rejected him, not even wanting to take the risk herself. He turned to Iris, who let him be him – the person he thought he was and was comfortable with. But then he watched as Joan took risks, not only with him, but with people she didn't even know. He watched her live, blossom, and grow, and he realized that he wanted that for himself. He wanted to live, blossom and grow… especially if he could do it with her.
His thoughts were interrupted as he heard someone sing just ahead. It was a modern song, although he didn't pay much attention to that sort of thing, and the singing wasn't that bad. It started out a bit shaky, but then the person singing must have gained confidence, because it showed in the tone. He hurried forward, wanting to see who was singing… and what he saw surprised him – especially when he began paying attention to the lyrics.
I don't know whose side I'm takin'
But I'm not takin' things too well
I can see inside you're achin'
But is it still too early for me to tellI try to help you out through the hardest of times
Your heart is in your throat and I'm speaking my mind
Though it looks as if it's over
I'm still not over you'Cause I still love you like I did before
I know for sure that you still feel the same way I do
If only she knew
Whoa, if only she knew, ohI try to let it go but I don't know if I can take it
'Cause the way you looked at me
Made me see that I can't really fake itI try to help you out through the hardest of times
Your heart is in your throat and I'm speaking my mind
Though it looks as if it's over
I'm still not over you'Cause I still love you like I did before
I know for sure that you still feel the same way I do
If only she knew
WhoaI know she loves you and I can't interfere
So I'll just have to sit back and watch my world disappear
WhoaI try to help you out through the hardest of times
Your heart is in your throat and I'm speaking my mind
Though it looks as if it's over
I'm still not over you
Oh, I'm still not over you'Cause I still love you like I did before
I know for sure that you still feel the same way I do
Whoa'Cause I will never ever walk away
I'll find a way
She could never love you like I do
If only she knew
If only she knew, oh yeah
Na na na na na na na na
Adam stood in the doorway, blinking a few times before he whispered hopefully. "Jane?"