Chapter 3: The Mask of Uncertainty and Fear
Fear is just an excuse. People fear because it is an easy solution to a problem. Uncertainty is inevitable. Without it the world would be a dull place.
Asuka sat up and grasped the piece of paper that she had just read. She had been crying for sometime now and it seemed she was out of tears, yet she still wept. She could not understand how someone who she tormented everyday, who she beat on everyday, could have such feelings for her. She had broken his heart in enough pieces to account for all the angels and the world itself. Yet she knew what she had to do, but all she could do was cry, cry because she had been the baka. After another half hour she finally made her way off the floor and into her room. 'If you feel anything for me please come to me, you know where I am.' She thought, 'Do I feel something for him, well if I didn't then why did I just spend the last hour crying? Why would I feel so bad for what I've done to him? Why have I been so blind to the truth? Well that eliminates the first half but where could he be. Maybe he arcade with the two stooges......no that's not it......Maybe he had a sync test at Nerv....no that can't be. Wait a sec, I know, he's at the spot overlooking Tokyo-3.'
Misato Katsuragi was "enjoying" another fateful day at the office. There hadn't been an attack on Tokyo-3 for 5 months with the defeat of the 17th Angel. She was now the Sub-Commander of Nerv. The only reason she took the job is because she still had her charges, and it gave a hefty pay raise. The only thing wrong about the position is that there was a lot of paperwork, and she hated paperwork. She was just about the file the budget report when her phone rang.
"Hello this is Sub-Commander Katsuragi how may I help you?" "Misato, this is Asuka." "Hey, after living with you for three years I think I know when it is you." "Whatever, well I need your help. Can you give me a ride to that place that overlooks the city?" "Why, what's going on is anything wrong?" "Yes and I will tell you if you give me a ride."
With that she hung up the phone and waited.
Misato was known for her fast driving and she proved it when it only took her ten minutes to get home. Asuka was waiting and got in the car. After a short discussion of the events that occurred between Shinji and Gabriel, Shinji and Asuka, and everything in between. Misato looked at Asuka as they pulled to a stop and saw Shinji on the other end of the look out. "So what are you going to tell him? If the note says what you told me it said then you feel for him enough to be here or you wouldn't, and the fact that you cried for an hour does show that also."
"I know but how am I supposed to just go up and talk to him after all the shit I put him though. I mean would you want to talk to someone who beat you up and called you names all the time.... I mean .... I don't know what to do Misato." Asuka for the second time that evening began to well up and Misato hugged her. "It will be ok, just talk to him and don't call him a baka and you should be ok. If you explain it to him like you just explained it to me then I think that he will understand."
With that the crimson beauty stepped out of the car and slowly made her way over to Shinji.
Shinji just stood there, he had been there since he left the apartment after leaving the note, and he was hoping that what happened was not in vain. He saw to outcomes to the note, first Asuka could read it, crumple it up, break the CD in half and laugh in his pathetic face. While second she would cry, yes he knew it was farfetched that someone as confident as Asuka would cry, but if this happened then she would come to him and they could then express what they both wanted to tell each other since that fateful day when the angel capture at the volcano went wrong. When he first realized that he was in love with the young woman that he shared an apartment with. He was hoping for the second thing to happen but what are the chances of someone who hates him to cry over him and come confess some feelings that they don't even have.... Maybe I should just end it now, there's no point of me going back to school and suffering every time I see her with Gabriel...god if you are up there please give me a sign so that I may understand what I should do. He leaned over the edge and held on, hoping for someone or something to stop him.
"Sh...nj..i" Asuka managed to squeak from her lips, "I'm s...orry."
He turned and couldn't believe what he heard. He wasn't sure if what he was hearing was real, was that actually her, was she actually there pleading, apologizing? He climbed back from the edge and just stared at her. He had to pinch himself to make sure it was not just a dream. He saw her, she appeared to have been crying, and she was staring straight into his eyes.
He slowly walked over to her, he was trembling, what was he going to say and what was he going to do. All he knew was the women of his dreams was standing right in front of him and he would not let her go this time. Yet he also couldn't help but be afraid that after this she would go back to the way she was. He also knew that if he was ever going to have a chance with Asuka he would have to stop being so timid.
"Its going to be alright Asuka, I'm here." He said, "No one is going to hurt you any longer."
He slowly stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her, guiding her to the ground. They sat there in silence for what seemed an eternity. The just sat there, holding on to one another. Soaking in what they had been missing for so long. Someone who cared for them, someone who was going to be there no matter what happened, and most of all someone to love. The silence kept going long into the night, until Shinji whispered into her ear. "We should be getting home, we both need some rest." "Ok," Asuka said, "I hope Misato isn't too angry with us." "It'll be ok Asuka-chan; I don't really care how she feels as long as I have you."
They both stood up and hand in hand walked home, nothing was wrong and the mask of fear and uncertainty had been removed.
End Chapter Three
Hope you guys liked it, sorry it took so long but I have had finals and studying for finals and I wasn't able to get a good train of thought until after I got home, I will try to update more often but I can't promise anything.
Fear is just an excuse. People fear because it is an easy solution to a problem. Uncertainty is inevitable. Without it the world would be a dull place.
Asuka sat up and grasped the piece of paper that she had just read. She had been crying for sometime now and it seemed she was out of tears, yet she still wept. She could not understand how someone who she tormented everyday, who she beat on everyday, could have such feelings for her. She had broken his heart in enough pieces to account for all the angels and the world itself. Yet she knew what she had to do, but all she could do was cry, cry because she had been the baka. After another half hour she finally made her way off the floor and into her room. 'If you feel anything for me please come to me, you know where I am.' She thought, 'Do I feel something for him, well if I didn't then why did I just spend the last hour crying? Why would I feel so bad for what I've done to him? Why have I been so blind to the truth? Well that eliminates the first half but where could he be. Maybe he arcade with the two stooges......no that's not it......Maybe he had a sync test at Nerv....no that can't be. Wait a sec, I know, he's at the spot overlooking Tokyo-3.'
Misato Katsuragi was "enjoying" another fateful day at the office. There hadn't been an attack on Tokyo-3 for 5 months with the defeat of the 17th Angel. She was now the Sub-Commander of Nerv. The only reason she took the job is because she still had her charges, and it gave a hefty pay raise. The only thing wrong about the position is that there was a lot of paperwork, and she hated paperwork. She was just about the file the budget report when her phone rang.
"Hello this is Sub-Commander Katsuragi how may I help you?" "Misato, this is Asuka." "Hey, after living with you for three years I think I know when it is you." "Whatever, well I need your help. Can you give me a ride to that place that overlooks the city?" "Why, what's going on is anything wrong?" "Yes and I will tell you if you give me a ride."
With that she hung up the phone and waited.
Misato was known for her fast driving and she proved it when it only took her ten minutes to get home. Asuka was waiting and got in the car. After a short discussion of the events that occurred between Shinji and Gabriel, Shinji and Asuka, and everything in between. Misato looked at Asuka as they pulled to a stop and saw Shinji on the other end of the look out. "So what are you going to tell him? If the note says what you told me it said then you feel for him enough to be here or you wouldn't, and the fact that you cried for an hour does show that also."
"I know but how am I supposed to just go up and talk to him after all the shit I put him though. I mean would you want to talk to someone who beat you up and called you names all the time.... I mean .... I don't know what to do Misato." Asuka for the second time that evening began to well up and Misato hugged her. "It will be ok, just talk to him and don't call him a baka and you should be ok. If you explain it to him like you just explained it to me then I think that he will understand."
With that the crimson beauty stepped out of the car and slowly made her way over to Shinji.
Shinji just stood there, he had been there since he left the apartment after leaving the note, and he was hoping that what happened was not in vain. He saw to outcomes to the note, first Asuka could read it, crumple it up, break the CD in half and laugh in his pathetic face. While second she would cry, yes he knew it was farfetched that someone as confident as Asuka would cry, but if this happened then she would come to him and they could then express what they both wanted to tell each other since that fateful day when the angel capture at the volcano went wrong. When he first realized that he was in love with the young woman that he shared an apartment with. He was hoping for the second thing to happen but what are the chances of someone who hates him to cry over him and come confess some feelings that they don't even have.... Maybe I should just end it now, there's no point of me going back to school and suffering every time I see her with Gabriel...god if you are up there please give me a sign so that I may understand what I should do. He leaned over the edge and held on, hoping for someone or something to stop him.
"Sh...nj..i" Asuka managed to squeak from her lips, "I'm s...orry."
He turned and couldn't believe what he heard. He wasn't sure if what he was hearing was real, was that actually her, was she actually there pleading, apologizing? He climbed back from the edge and just stared at her. He had to pinch himself to make sure it was not just a dream. He saw her, she appeared to have been crying, and she was staring straight into his eyes.
He slowly walked over to her, he was trembling, what was he going to say and what was he going to do. All he knew was the women of his dreams was standing right in front of him and he would not let her go this time. Yet he also couldn't help but be afraid that after this she would go back to the way she was. He also knew that if he was ever going to have a chance with Asuka he would have to stop being so timid.
"Its going to be alright Asuka, I'm here." He said, "No one is going to hurt you any longer."
He slowly stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her, guiding her to the ground. They sat there in silence for what seemed an eternity. The just sat there, holding on to one another. Soaking in what they had been missing for so long. Someone who cared for them, someone who was going to be there no matter what happened, and most of all someone to love. The silence kept going long into the night, until Shinji whispered into her ear. "We should be getting home, we both need some rest." "Ok," Asuka said, "I hope Misato isn't too angry with us." "It'll be ok Asuka-chan; I don't really care how she feels as long as I have you."
They both stood up and hand in hand walked home, nothing was wrong and the mask of fear and uncertainty had been removed.
End Chapter Three
Hope you guys liked it, sorry it took so long but I have had finals and studying for finals and I wasn't able to get a good train of thought until after I got home, I will try to update more often but I can't promise anything.