~Whispered Secrets~

Chapter (5) Silent Tear Drops

A/N: Thanks again for those who are reading and reviewing. I know this story isn't all that great but thanks any way for indulging me and I'm getting a lot of practice and I'm having fun. Encouragement goes along way, and it's because of you all that I'm even writing. So thanks. lol Okay now I'm talking to much so I'm going to get to the story.

Haley was just looking out into the night that engulfed them and didn't even notice when the truck came to a stop. Lucas looked at her for a moment, how her hair served as a shield for her face. It was like this curtain that hid everything that she wanted to keep secret, everything that he wanted to see, needed to see. He couldn't see her eyes, that did all the talking for her, he couldn't see those strawberries tainted lips that he had kissed just moments ago. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he felt the urge to kiss them again even though kissing her in the first place was why their was their heavy silence among them, and why they could barely look at each other, and why things seemed and felt so different from the time their lips had met and from the time he made himself pull away. Everything had changed and things he didn't know was there rose in him.

"Hales" he called out in a soft whisper, while looking to see if she would turn around.

"yeah?" she said turning around and glancing at him.

"Are you alright?" he asked while looking at her.

"yeah, just tired" she tried to say nonchalantly while she looked out the window again, scared to look at him for fear that he would know she was lying.

" Are you sure?" Lucas asked wanting to say something else, something more, about the kiss, about her not pulling away, but he couldn't find the words.

"yeah I'm sure, let's go inside I'm freezing." They both got out the truck and made their way inside Lucas's house.

Lucas closed and locked the door. While Haley went upstairs to Lucas's room. Lucas was about to follow her but he had to think first. So he just sat on the steps till he could get his thoughts together and maybe some how find something to say to Haley, something that he could manage to say, something that made any sense. He had to say something because they couldn't just not talk to each other because after all in two days he'd be leaving and these were his last two nights with Haley, and he didn't want it to be like this. He wanted everything to just go back to what they were before that game, before he felt her lips on his, before he felt all those things, before he actually had this crazy idea that maybe she felt the same thing. It probably was just a game to her and god if she only knew how that kiss was so much more to him, more then he thought it would be, more then he thought it could be. He finally got the nerve to walk up them steps and went into his room. The light was on (so he figured she must not be sleep, but part of him was wishing she was so he wouldn't have to deal with this tonight) and she was just laying at the end of the bed writing in her journal, the one she carried every where. She closed it as she saw Lucas come in and she looked up at him with an unreadable expression.

Lucas: Hales (he started)

Lucas: hales about tonight, about the game, about the …. (he couldn't even say it)

Haley: kiss?

Lucas: It was…..( he didn't know what was wrong with him, he couldn't form a complete sentence, It was so hard to tell her how he felt, how he felt when he kissed her. Everything sounded perfect in his head but it didn't come out that way.)

Hales: just a game. I know Lucas. (she said it as nonchalantly as possible as if it didn't bother her, no sweat off her back right? Wrong. She wanted it to be so much more because when he kissed her it was any thing but a kiss between friends, she felt more then she was suppose to and she didn't know why or how but she couldn't help it. But she knew he didn't feel the same, wouldn't feel the same. And that hurt…a lot. She figured if she played it as it being nothing then maybe it would be nothing.

Lucas: No what I was trying to say wa…

Haley: Lucas you don't have to explain. It was an innocent game between friends right? (she said trying to get off the topic quickly as possible.

Lucas; yea..yeah I guess. ( he said the last part in a whisper. He felt it but obviously she didn't, He thought something was there but he guessed he was wrong. She implied it more then one especially since she said "between friends." He felt there was no need to push something that wasn't mutual, something she didn't feel. He tried to recollect himself and hide the fact that his heart had sunken back in to his chest.

Lucas: I'm going to go and change in the bathroom

Haley: alright, I'm going to change to, I'm beat.

He went in the bathroom to change his clothes, while Haley changed in his room. Both of them having very similar thoughts, and both of them drowning in the same pain. They were both changed and Haley was now getting comfortable in Lucas's bed, writing a little more in her diary before she put it under Lucas's bed. Lucas had finally came out the bathroom., placing his already worn clothes in a hamper. He started to create his pad on the floor, where he always slept when Haley slept over. He turned the light out and laid down and before he could get comfortable he jumped right back up and turned the light on.

Lucas: Haley?

Haley; yeah, Lucas?

Lucas: Are you mad at me? (he said looking at her in her , while her face rose from the pillow and she looked at him as if she was taken back, surprised.

Haley: Of coarse not, why did you think I was?

Lucas; I don't know. You haven't really said much to me since the party and you can barely look at me before looking away.

Haley: No it's just that I'm tired, and I'll remember to look at you at least 10 times a day ( she said jokingly, trying to hide how crushed she was, maybe trying to fool him into believing that everything was fine, that nothing had changed, maybe she could fool herself to in the process.) *Or maybe it's because every time I look at you, I know you will never want me the way I want you, and I can't bare to look in those ocean's of yours and lie. Maybe it's because there's things I want to say but can't say and things that I don't understand, can't understand. Maybe it's because it hurts to look at you and know that I'll never have you, and I'll say every word in the human language except the words that mean the most. Maybe it's because I just can't do it*

They laughed holding on to something that came close to the normal the usual, what they were used to. 'Two friends enjoying a laugh' right? They supposed.

Lucas: I just don't want my good looks to go to waist. (he said Jokingly, shrugging, playfully)

Haley: I'd hate for that to happen (she said sarcastically) They laughed in unison and Lucas looked at Haley just to make sure, this was real and she was really "just tired". She hid it well because a smile just spread across her lips, and she had sleepy eyes. Lucas laughed at how she stilled looked beautiful with her hair in a pony tail and a rather long t-shirt and short shorts on.

Haley: what's funny?

Lucas: nothing, nothing just go to sleep.

Haley: I was trying to but some how that light got on and I heard a paranoid voice ..I don't know who that could be.

He laughed as he turned the light off and made himself comfortable in that space on the floor.

Haley: Good night Luke

Lucas: Good night hales .

Lucas just tried to get this idea of being with Haley, out his head. It was clear to him that it would be no more then wishful thinking. And he hated how much that hurt, he hated that party, he hated that stupid game and how that kiss changed everything but things still remained the same. He hated how he felt the need to touch her, to kiss her, to stroke her hair and to hold her, even to just look at her in those eyes, but she didn't feel anything at all for him beside the life long friend ship they had founded. He didn't want to think about this any more, he made his eyes close and maybe just maybe sleep would follow.

Haley could finally let her smile fall to something of a saddened look and she didn't have to fight the tears, she didn't want to fight the tears. They rolled down her cheeks, silent tear drops that no one ever hear, or even know she cried.

A/N: please R/R