Disclaimer~ I don't own Inuyasha or any related characters.
Dialog~ "Meep meep meep."
Thoughts~ 'Meep meep meep.'
Author's note~ Sorry, I was really busy last week, and am in fact even busier this week, but I have an overwhelming need to write. Forgive me for leaving you hanging, but we can't control everything and sometimes we just aren't up for certain tasks at hand. Thank you.
Chapter 14
Naraku let out an annoyed groan, seeing the houshi making progress with his memory loss didn't please him. He had hoped the strong mental blocks would keep him from getting very far, but he was indeed mistaken. He hated being mistaken. "Kagura."
Kagura's figure appeared out of the looming darkness, a sneer on her face. "You rang?"
"Humph. You should learn a little respect, Kagura. You may find yourself facing the same fate of that of our houshi."
"Oh, really?" she asked, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "How is that?"
"Dead."
She smiled. Her rebellious attitude was getting to him; she loved it. "I don't believe our fair houshi is dead yet, Naraku."
He let out an amused laugh and continued explaining himself. "Yet, you mean."
"Yet?"
"Kill him."
Her crooked grin widened at this. "What happened to your brilliant plan? Did it fall apart like I said it would? Now you want me to fix it for you."
"Don't flatter yourself. The plan has worked perfectly thus far, but it would prove to be more productive should he be dead."
"And you're just realizing this now?" she asked, a half curious, half mocking tone.
His eyes became intensely fixated on her. His anger was building up and up and up. He too had a strong pride and hated seeing his subordinate undermined him. "Do it."
Feeling sufficient with her effort to piss him off, her figured disappeared and escaped back into the darkness, her voice being the last thing to resonate in the room. "As you wish."
Kagura left the Naraku's castle feeling a great feeling residing within her. Not only did she make Naraku look like a fool, but she also got to go out and kill someone. It was a win-win situation for her.
She looked down at the landscape below her, upon riding on her large feather. She saw Sango's figure in the distance. She grinned at this. 'Change of plans,' she thought. She began to make her slow decent to the ground. Sango was unknowing of the doom that awaited her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The tears wouldn't stop falling down Sango's face. Her eyes were puffy and red from all her sobbing and her face was buried within her arms, not wanting anyone to see her in such condition.
She let out a small sniffle and tried to regain composure, even though her heart had been torn to pieces.
'He's always been this way,' she thought, bitterly. 'Always so oblivious to other's feelings and gets caught up in his own wishes. I guess, he never really changed, not really, not completely.'
More tears. The burning sensation in her face returned as she began crying again. "God!" she screamed. "I'm so stupid! I fell in love with a man who's a complete self-centered jerk, who doesn't even know the real him. Am I stupid, or what?"
"No," came the cold, yet calm reply. "You're not stupid at all, just doomed."
She turned her head quickly and what she saw made her body shiver. "Kagura."
Kagura smiled. She enjoyed seeing the frightened and stunned look on the girl's face. It was like a deer looking into headlights. "Glad you haven't forgotten me, Sango dear."
"Like I could."
"Glad to know I'm worth remembering."
"Bitch," she spat. "What do you want? Why are you here?"
She shrugged and replied simply, "to kill you."
Sango's eyes bulged; a tight knot began to form in her throat. "K-kill me?"
She nodded and pulled out her fan, ready to strike at any moment. "That's the deal. Naraku wants you dead. Ever since things didn't quite work out with the houshi he's been very agitated lately."
The shock of what Sango had just heard was maddening. The result of everything terrible that has happened to her thus far in her life has been a result of Naraku, and now this. Everything was his fault. They were all just pawns in his trap. And Kagura, she just acted as though it was no big deal.
Can creatures be so cold, even if they aren't totally human? Were their lives that meaningless to just be able to toy around with their emotions? She wouldn't stand for it.
"You're sick!" she screamed. "I hate you, you and that bastard, Naraku! I'll make you pay for what you've done, Kagura. You'll regret ever coming across me, or Miroku, or anyone one of my friends."
"Are you trying to scare me?" She chuckled to herself. "It's not working. You don't even have a weapon to defend yourself. What's keeping me from killing you this instant?"
She closed her eyes and smiled at the statement. "What do you take me for? I'm not just some defenseless village girl. I am a demon slayer. I can defend myself. You're not that great, Kagura. You aren't all powerful."
"You'll regret having ever said those words when you're drowning in a sea of your own blood, with Miroku soon to fallow."
"Bitch."
"I'll make you eat those words."
"Then do it. I'm not afraid." She held steady in the best defensive stance she could come up with. It was hard not having a weapon, but it did allow her to move quicker. Meaning she could dodge more blows.
"I won't deny you your death wish." Without warning she quickly lashed out at Sango and cut the side of her right cheek as she attempted to avoid the blow.
A nice red streak ran down Sango's cheek from her eyes to her mouth. Blood flowed profusely out the wound and ran down her neck. She shivered. It had been a while since she felt the cool feeling of blood running over her.
Glad to see that her attack caught Sango somewhat off guard Kagura attacked with another furry of attacks. Each one becoming more accurate at hitting their target as Sango's endurance began to wear. Finally, one hit got her dead on.
Sango was caught off guard by the attack and slipped on an out rooted tree trunk and feel heavily to the ground. Her newly inflicted shoulder wound hurting her greatly. She gritted her teeth as Kagura stood over her, laughing.
"Did I hurt you?"
"Not badly," she seethed, wanting to still appear strong. "This is nothing."
"Does this hurt?" She grabbed Sango's arm and began twisting and contorting it in horrible ways.
In shear pain Sango let out an agonizing scream. Her arm began pursing out blood, drenching her entire arm.
Kagura let out deep laugh as she tightened the grip on her arm, enjoying every scream of pain resonating from Sango. "I'll take that as a, yes."
"Help me," she whispered. "Somebody help me."
"There's no hope left for you Sango, just give up. If you beg I'll end your torture and kill you quickly."
"Never!" In a surprise attack Sango was able to stop writhing in her own pain and use her feet to push Kagura away sending her tumbling to the ground. Sango limped away slowly and was able to stand, barely.
The attack hadn't much effect on Kagura. She was able to quickly get up, severely pissed off, and approach Sango. "I wasn't going to torture you too much longer. I was really being nice. You shouldn't have taken my kindness for granted."
"Humph. Is that what you call killing people? Kindness?"
"I call it what I like. As someone about to die, I would show me more respect. You may get lucky that way."
Sango looked at Kagura defiantly, crossing her arms she said, "I don't need luck, nor will I ever show you respect. Get over yourself."
She made a low growling noise through her clenched teeth. "I hope you enjoyed saying those words because they are going to be your last."
She smiled. "I have no regrets. Lets end this."
"Fine. I'll tell you a secret before you die."
Sango stood ready and held her arm tightly, readying to withstand whatever blow may come over her. 'I won't die, not yet, I just can't. This isn't the end.'
"The houshi," she said, "he's become aware. In fact, he's coming right now to find you and tell you the good news and apologize. Wouldn't that be great? Except, for the fact that you'll be dead by the time he gets here."
Sango was stunned when she heard this but just wrote it off as nothing, just a mind trick. "Don't toy with me. Miroku isn't himself anymore. I accept that."
"Do you really, Sango?"
She hesitated. The way she always said her name made her cringe. "Yes," she said uncertainly. "I do. There's nothing I can do but move on, no matter how hard that is."
"Because it was your fault?"
This had caught her off guard. 'Was it really my fault? Did my wanting Miroku to change influence everything? No! I can't think like this.' "You're lying!"
'This is perfect,' thought Kagura. 'She's falling for it.' "Am I? After all, you're the one who was fed up with Miroku and wanted him to change so badly. You got your wish, so why aren't you happy?"
Unknown to Kagura, Miroku has heard Sango's screaming and now was incredibly close to her position. He was standing just outside a small grove of trees. His eyes widened at what he saw.
"Sango," he whispered. "What did she do to you?"
His eyes traveled up and down her tattered body. He could see her blood soaked clothing and the red mark down her face. He could see the pain and frustration in her eyes. She was so full of turmoil. He hadn't seen her like this since...since.
Kohaku. She hadn't been distressed over anything since her brother had been taken from her and the endless struggle to get him back had begun. Now, now, it wasn't Kohaku but himself she was fighting to protect, to keep with her.
'I can't let her do this,' he thought. 'Sango, I'm coming.' He took a step in her direction but stopped when he heard her screaming.
'Maybe she's right. But this...this wasn't...' Sango closed her eyes tightly as she screamed in an outburst, "This isn't what I wanted!"
His face looked low and pained. The anguish he could her in her voice made tears come to his eyes. 'It's all my fault,' he cursed. 'It's all my fault!'
All at once everything got dark and the familiar pain had returned to him. His vision clouded and that same image started to come back to him. It was that reoccurring nightmare.
He was back in the same dark forest as he had found himself before. It was still raining and blood was everywhere. But now, he could see the image clearly. It was Kagura standing over Sango's limp body, laughing. And it was indeed Sango writhing in agony, in a pool of her own blood.
The image made Miroku feel sick. He gagged. It was too much for him. He broke down, crying. The pain of everything that was happening was so immense.
He failed to save Sango then and he was failing her now. He could hear her screaming on the outside, could hear Kagura contradicting Sango's true emotions. He was just sitting there letting it all happen, doing nothing. He was caught in this dream that was to be his future reality.
Sango being dead and he being powerless to do anything while Kagura watches and enjoys her final minutes, laughing.
Miroku was now caught deep within his own depths of emotion, his own self- pity and guilt. He was blinded by his feelings and thusly Sango continued to suffer in the real world while he stayed trapped in the barrier he put up around himself.
The smile on Kagura's face couldn't have gotten much bigger. She had broken Sango, perverted what she had said and thought, and now was in control. "You know better Sango, this is exactly what you hoped for. Yet, you still continue to lie to yourself."
'Am I?' "No!" she screamed.
"Are you that neck deep in denial you can't even admit that to yourself?"
'Yes.' "No!"
"You disappoint me, Sango. I thought you were better than this."
Sango was too choked up to respond to her. She was caught in her own inner turmoil. Kagura's words were getting to her. The guilt she felt was too much. "No! No! No! It's not true! It's not true!"
"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?"
"Me," she whispered. "It's always been me."
Miroku had been listening to Sango fight Kagura's manipulation for a while now and was now completely appalled with himself. "I'm just to weak to save her! Just like I could never save my father! I hate myself!"
"Do you really think that it's all your fault?" a voice asked.
The voice sounded distantly familiar to him. He recognized the voice from somewhere but couldn't place it. "Who are you?"
"Miroku, don't be afraid. Just listen."
He nodded. He felt too confused and trapped to do anything else. "Yes."
"If you continue to let this happen Sango will die. You know that?"
"Yes," he whispered, on the verge of tears.
"Then you shouldn't be fighting yourself and should instead take care of Kagura."
"How can I!?" he screamed. "How could I ever face Sango after all this? I'm a worthless coward!"
"Only if you believe that."
"I—"
"The son I knew," the voice cut off, "Would never let that happen. You just believe you're weak. You're only feeling sorry for yourself."
"Mother."
"Don't let this happen, or you'll never forgive yourself. Let the past stay the past. You have a choice. You're in control of your own future."
"I want to save her."
"Then why don't you?"
"I-I'm afraid. I'm afraid of everything. Of dying, of losing my real self, of never admitting my feelings to Sango, of killing my friends, of living almost. Who knows what damage I may cause."
"Miroku," she said softly. "It's okay to be afraid but don't let your fear control you."
"I won't."
"Then save her, before it's too late."
"You can do this, it's not beyond your control anymore. You make decisions for yourself and live with them. Accept your mistakes and move on."
"It's okay then? Okay to let go of this guilt and forgive myself? I'm worth forgiving?"
"Everyone is."
"You're right. Thank you, thank you so much, mother. I miss you, and thank you."
"You find strength within yourself to do the right thing. All I could ever do is try to help. Don't stop living, Miroku. Be true to yourself."
"I will. I won't forget what you taught me."
"I love you."
"Good bye."
The world around him appeared back to normal. He could see things clearly again. It wasn't the grim future that could have been. It reality. He still had a choice.
He clenched his fist tightly. 'I won't forget, mother. I know what I have to do now. I'll take responsibility for my actions and live with my mistakes. I can move on.'
"I will," he whispered. "I'll move on but never forget."
'That's checkmate,' she thought. 'I win again.' "There, there," she said, trying to sound sympathetic. "I'll ease your suffering. Death can cure any ailment."
A single tear fell from Sango's face as she lowered her head down to the ground. She looked shameful and felt full of disgrace. 'Father, Kohaku... Miroku. Forgive. I'm just too weak. I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want this pain.' "I'm ready," she managed to choke out.
"Good." She needn't say anything more. She brought her fan up to her face to make one final blow that would end everything. 'Shame,' she thought, just as she was about to strike 'You always seemed so strong too.' "Good bye," she said.
"Sango!" screamed Miroku.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End of chapter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so wow, that was pretty trippy. Sorry if it's difficult to understand. I'll try to explain in another author's note at the end of the story or something. I also apologize for all the typos and errors. I wanted to get this up by tonight. I didn't have time though to proof read it. I am sorry. Thanks for all the great reviews though.
Aamalie~ Ya, so okay, now you know there has to be some fluff in the next chapter and a nice happy resolution. And see, Miroku is himself again. So yay! You get the houshi back.
Small-buttercup~ That's the pits. -__-; Being grounded sucks!!! I feel for you. Thanks for taking the time to review.
Lar-lar~ I hope this chapter lived up to the amount of fun and enjoyment you hoped it would be. And yes, episode 132 does rock!
Rissi-sama~ I thrive on dilemma and misunderstanding, it can help scoot the plot along at times and bring about all those fun feelings and explanations. Hooray.
Backsplash007~ Meh, spring break was all right. I do hope you enjoyed yours though. And yes, mental breakdowns are great. They're just so awesome I can't stand it Any way, thanks for the nice review.
Rain Angst~ Yay, now he got even more back! ^^ Must be happy bout that, yes?
Tricky-The-Kitsune-Youkai~ Damn! It has been a while since I've heard from you. And don't be too surprised that I've updated. I try to at least every two weeks. That's for reviewing again though. I appreciate the kind words and support.
Fanfictiongeek36~ Don't be sorry, I'm just glad that you hold me in such high regards. Thank you very much. ^_^
That's all of the kick ass reviewers for the last chapter. Thanks for everyone who reviewed!!! I luv you all so much.
Expect the next chapter to be updated sometime this weekend I think. I really want to finish this story soon. There are only one or two chapter left. I haven't decided. Thanks everyone.
Till then,
Zero.
Dialog~ "Meep meep meep."
Thoughts~ 'Meep meep meep.'
Author's note~ Sorry, I was really busy last week, and am in fact even busier this week, but I have an overwhelming need to write. Forgive me for leaving you hanging, but we can't control everything and sometimes we just aren't up for certain tasks at hand. Thank you.
Chapter 14
Naraku let out an annoyed groan, seeing the houshi making progress with his memory loss didn't please him. He had hoped the strong mental blocks would keep him from getting very far, but he was indeed mistaken. He hated being mistaken. "Kagura."
Kagura's figure appeared out of the looming darkness, a sneer on her face. "You rang?"
"Humph. You should learn a little respect, Kagura. You may find yourself facing the same fate of that of our houshi."
"Oh, really?" she asked, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "How is that?"
"Dead."
She smiled. Her rebellious attitude was getting to him; she loved it. "I don't believe our fair houshi is dead yet, Naraku."
He let out an amused laugh and continued explaining himself. "Yet, you mean."
"Yet?"
"Kill him."
Her crooked grin widened at this. "What happened to your brilliant plan? Did it fall apart like I said it would? Now you want me to fix it for you."
"Don't flatter yourself. The plan has worked perfectly thus far, but it would prove to be more productive should he be dead."
"And you're just realizing this now?" she asked, a half curious, half mocking tone.
His eyes became intensely fixated on her. His anger was building up and up and up. He too had a strong pride and hated seeing his subordinate undermined him. "Do it."
Feeling sufficient with her effort to piss him off, her figured disappeared and escaped back into the darkness, her voice being the last thing to resonate in the room. "As you wish."
Kagura left the Naraku's castle feeling a great feeling residing within her. Not only did she make Naraku look like a fool, but she also got to go out and kill someone. It was a win-win situation for her.
She looked down at the landscape below her, upon riding on her large feather. She saw Sango's figure in the distance. She grinned at this. 'Change of plans,' she thought. She began to make her slow decent to the ground. Sango was unknowing of the doom that awaited her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The tears wouldn't stop falling down Sango's face. Her eyes were puffy and red from all her sobbing and her face was buried within her arms, not wanting anyone to see her in such condition.
She let out a small sniffle and tried to regain composure, even though her heart had been torn to pieces.
'He's always been this way,' she thought, bitterly. 'Always so oblivious to other's feelings and gets caught up in his own wishes. I guess, he never really changed, not really, not completely.'
More tears. The burning sensation in her face returned as she began crying again. "God!" she screamed. "I'm so stupid! I fell in love with a man who's a complete self-centered jerk, who doesn't even know the real him. Am I stupid, or what?"
"No," came the cold, yet calm reply. "You're not stupid at all, just doomed."
She turned her head quickly and what she saw made her body shiver. "Kagura."
Kagura smiled. She enjoyed seeing the frightened and stunned look on the girl's face. It was like a deer looking into headlights. "Glad you haven't forgotten me, Sango dear."
"Like I could."
"Glad to know I'm worth remembering."
"Bitch," she spat. "What do you want? Why are you here?"
She shrugged and replied simply, "to kill you."
Sango's eyes bulged; a tight knot began to form in her throat. "K-kill me?"
She nodded and pulled out her fan, ready to strike at any moment. "That's the deal. Naraku wants you dead. Ever since things didn't quite work out with the houshi he's been very agitated lately."
The shock of what Sango had just heard was maddening. The result of everything terrible that has happened to her thus far in her life has been a result of Naraku, and now this. Everything was his fault. They were all just pawns in his trap. And Kagura, she just acted as though it was no big deal.
Can creatures be so cold, even if they aren't totally human? Were their lives that meaningless to just be able to toy around with their emotions? She wouldn't stand for it.
"You're sick!" she screamed. "I hate you, you and that bastard, Naraku! I'll make you pay for what you've done, Kagura. You'll regret ever coming across me, or Miroku, or anyone one of my friends."
"Are you trying to scare me?" She chuckled to herself. "It's not working. You don't even have a weapon to defend yourself. What's keeping me from killing you this instant?"
She closed her eyes and smiled at the statement. "What do you take me for? I'm not just some defenseless village girl. I am a demon slayer. I can defend myself. You're not that great, Kagura. You aren't all powerful."
"You'll regret having ever said those words when you're drowning in a sea of your own blood, with Miroku soon to fallow."
"Bitch."
"I'll make you eat those words."
"Then do it. I'm not afraid." She held steady in the best defensive stance she could come up with. It was hard not having a weapon, but it did allow her to move quicker. Meaning she could dodge more blows.
"I won't deny you your death wish." Without warning she quickly lashed out at Sango and cut the side of her right cheek as she attempted to avoid the blow.
A nice red streak ran down Sango's cheek from her eyes to her mouth. Blood flowed profusely out the wound and ran down her neck. She shivered. It had been a while since she felt the cool feeling of blood running over her.
Glad to see that her attack caught Sango somewhat off guard Kagura attacked with another furry of attacks. Each one becoming more accurate at hitting their target as Sango's endurance began to wear. Finally, one hit got her dead on.
Sango was caught off guard by the attack and slipped on an out rooted tree trunk and feel heavily to the ground. Her newly inflicted shoulder wound hurting her greatly. She gritted her teeth as Kagura stood over her, laughing.
"Did I hurt you?"
"Not badly," she seethed, wanting to still appear strong. "This is nothing."
"Does this hurt?" She grabbed Sango's arm and began twisting and contorting it in horrible ways.
In shear pain Sango let out an agonizing scream. Her arm began pursing out blood, drenching her entire arm.
Kagura let out deep laugh as she tightened the grip on her arm, enjoying every scream of pain resonating from Sango. "I'll take that as a, yes."
"Help me," she whispered. "Somebody help me."
"There's no hope left for you Sango, just give up. If you beg I'll end your torture and kill you quickly."
"Never!" In a surprise attack Sango was able to stop writhing in her own pain and use her feet to push Kagura away sending her tumbling to the ground. Sango limped away slowly and was able to stand, barely.
The attack hadn't much effect on Kagura. She was able to quickly get up, severely pissed off, and approach Sango. "I wasn't going to torture you too much longer. I was really being nice. You shouldn't have taken my kindness for granted."
"Humph. Is that what you call killing people? Kindness?"
"I call it what I like. As someone about to die, I would show me more respect. You may get lucky that way."
Sango looked at Kagura defiantly, crossing her arms she said, "I don't need luck, nor will I ever show you respect. Get over yourself."
She made a low growling noise through her clenched teeth. "I hope you enjoyed saying those words because they are going to be your last."
She smiled. "I have no regrets. Lets end this."
"Fine. I'll tell you a secret before you die."
Sango stood ready and held her arm tightly, readying to withstand whatever blow may come over her. 'I won't die, not yet, I just can't. This isn't the end.'
"The houshi," she said, "he's become aware. In fact, he's coming right now to find you and tell you the good news and apologize. Wouldn't that be great? Except, for the fact that you'll be dead by the time he gets here."
Sango was stunned when she heard this but just wrote it off as nothing, just a mind trick. "Don't toy with me. Miroku isn't himself anymore. I accept that."
"Do you really, Sango?"
She hesitated. The way she always said her name made her cringe. "Yes," she said uncertainly. "I do. There's nothing I can do but move on, no matter how hard that is."
"Because it was your fault?"
This had caught her off guard. 'Was it really my fault? Did my wanting Miroku to change influence everything? No! I can't think like this.' "You're lying!"
'This is perfect,' thought Kagura. 'She's falling for it.' "Am I? After all, you're the one who was fed up with Miroku and wanted him to change so badly. You got your wish, so why aren't you happy?"
Unknown to Kagura, Miroku has heard Sango's screaming and now was incredibly close to her position. He was standing just outside a small grove of trees. His eyes widened at what he saw.
"Sango," he whispered. "What did she do to you?"
His eyes traveled up and down her tattered body. He could see her blood soaked clothing and the red mark down her face. He could see the pain and frustration in her eyes. She was so full of turmoil. He hadn't seen her like this since...since.
Kohaku. She hadn't been distressed over anything since her brother had been taken from her and the endless struggle to get him back had begun. Now, now, it wasn't Kohaku but himself she was fighting to protect, to keep with her.
'I can't let her do this,' he thought. 'Sango, I'm coming.' He took a step in her direction but stopped when he heard her screaming.
'Maybe she's right. But this...this wasn't...' Sango closed her eyes tightly as she screamed in an outburst, "This isn't what I wanted!"
His face looked low and pained. The anguish he could her in her voice made tears come to his eyes. 'It's all my fault,' he cursed. 'It's all my fault!'
All at once everything got dark and the familiar pain had returned to him. His vision clouded and that same image started to come back to him. It was that reoccurring nightmare.
He was back in the same dark forest as he had found himself before. It was still raining and blood was everywhere. But now, he could see the image clearly. It was Kagura standing over Sango's limp body, laughing. And it was indeed Sango writhing in agony, in a pool of her own blood.
The image made Miroku feel sick. He gagged. It was too much for him. He broke down, crying. The pain of everything that was happening was so immense.
He failed to save Sango then and he was failing her now. He could hear her screaming on the outside, could hear Kagura contradicting Sango's true emotions. He was just sitting there letting it all happen, doing nothing. He was caught in this dream that was to be his future reality.
Sango being dead and he being powerless to do anything while Kagura watches and enjoys her final minutes, laughing.
Miroku was now caught deep within his own depths of emotion, his own self- pity and guilt. He was blinded by his feelings and thusly Sango continued to suffer in the real world while he stayed trapped in the barrier he put up around himself.
The smile on Kagura's face couldn't have gotten much bigger. She had broken Sango, perverted what she had said and thought, and now was in control. "You know better Sango, this is exactly what you hoped for. Yet, you still continue to lie to yourself."
'Am I?' "No!" she screamed.
"Are you that neck deep in denial you can't even admit that to yourself?"
'Yes.' "No!"
"You disappoint me, Sango. I thought you were better than this."
Sango was too choked up to respond to her. She was caught in her own inner turmoil. Kagura's words were getting to her. The guilt she felt was too much. "No! No! No! It's not true! It's not true!"
"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?"
"Me," she whispered. "It's always been me."
Miroku had been listening to Sango fight Kagura's manipulation for a while now and was now completely appalled with himself. "I'm just to weak to save her! Just like I could never save my father! I hate myself!"
"Do you really think that it's all your fault?" a voice asked.
The voice sounded distantly familiar to him. He recognized the voice from somewhere but couldn't place it. "Who are you?"
"Miroku, don't be afraid. Just listen."
He nodded. He felt too confused and trapped to do anything else. "Yes."
"If you continue to let this happen Sango will die. You know that?"
"Yes," he whispered, on the verge of tears.
"Then you shouldn't be fighting yourself and should instead take care of Kagura."
"How can I!?" he screamed. "How could I ever face Sango after all this? I'm a worthless coward!"
"Only if you believe that."
"I—"
"The son I knew," the voice cut off, "Would never let that happen. You just believe you're weak. You're only feeling sorry for yourself."
"Mother."
"Don't let this happen, or you'll never forgive yourself. Let the past stay the past. You have a choice. You're in control of your own future."
"I want to save her."
"Then why don't you?"
"I-I'm afraid. I'm afraid of everything. Of dying, of losing my real self, of never admitting my feelings to Sango, of killing my friends, of living almost. Who knows what damage I may cause."
"Miroku," she said softly. "It's okay to be afraid but don't let your fear control you."
"I won't."
"Then save her, before it's too late."
"You can do this, it's not beyond your control anymore. You make decisions for yourself and live with them. Accept your mistakes and move on."
"It's okay then? Okay to let go of this guilt and forgive myself? I'm worth forgiving?"
"Everyone is."
"You're right. Thank you, thank you so much, mother. I miss you, and thank you."
"You find strength within yourself to do the right thing. All I could ever do is try to help. Don't stop living, Miroku. Be true to yourself."
"I will. I won't forget what you taught me."
"I love you."
"Good bye."
The world around him appeared back to normal. He could see things clearly again. It wasn't the grim future that could have been. It reality. He still had a choice.
He clenched his fist tightly. 'I won't forget, mother. I know what I have to do now. I'll take responsibility for my actions and live with my mistakes. I can move on.'
"I will," he whispered. "I'll move on but never forget."
'That's checkmate,' she thought. 'I win again.' "There, there," she said, trying to sound sympathetic. "I'll ease your suffering. Death can cure any ailment."
A single tear fell from Sango's face as she lowered her head down to the ground. She looked shameful and felt full of disgrace. 'Father, Kohaku... Miroku. Forgive. I'm just too weak. I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want this pain.' "I'm ready," she managed to choke out.
"Good." She needn't say anything more. She brought her fan up to her face to make one final blow that would end everything. 'Shame,' she thought, just as she was about to strike 'You always seemed so strong too.' "Good bye," she said.
"Sango!" screamed Miroku.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End of chapter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so wow, that was pretty trippy. Sorry if it's difficult to understand. I'll try to explain in another author's note at the end of the story or something. I also apologize for all the typos and errors. I wanted to get this up by tonight. I didn't have time though to proof read it. I am sorry. Thanks for all the great reviews though.
Aamalie~ Ya, so okay, now you know there has to be some fluff in the next chapter and a nice happy resolution. And see, Miroku is himself again. So yay! You get the houshi back.
Small-buttercup~ That's the pits. -__-; Being grounded sucks!!! I feel for you. Thanks for taking the time to review.
Lar-lar~ I hope this chapter lived up to the amount of fun and enjoyment you hoped it would be. And yes, episode 132 does rock!
Rissi-sama~ I thrive on dilemma and misunderstanding, it can help scoot the plot along at times and bring about all those fun feelings and explanations. Hooray.
Backsplash007~ Meh, spring break was all right. I do hope you enjoyed yours though. And yes, mental breakdowns are great. They're just so awesome I can't stand it Any way, thanks for the nice review.
Rain Angst~ Yay, now he got even more back! ^^ Must be happy bout that, yes?
Tricky-The-Kitsune-Youkai~ Damn! It has been a while since I've heard from you. And don't be too surprised that I've updated. I try to at least every two weeks. That's for reviewing again though. I appreciate the kind words and support.
Fanfictiongeek36~ Don't be sorry, I'm just glad that you hold me in such high regards. Thank you very much. ^_^
That's all of the kick ass reviewers for the last chapter. Thanks for everyone who reviewed!!! I luv you all so much.
Expect the next chapter to be updated sometime this weekend I think. I really want to finish this story soon. There are only one or two chapter left. I haven't decided. Thanks everyone.
Till then,
Zero.