League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Dreams of the Damned
Chapter Five
Deception
"Hey, Bob," Indy called, stepping into the spacious driver's area in The Sword. It was like a very large walk in closet, only there were chairs (even a few beanbag chairs) situated all over the place. "Y'know, if weed makes you this brilliant, maybe I should try?" Brody laughed and shook his head. "What?"
"You're going to be sorry you said that." Bob turned, revealing that he was currently puffing on a joint. "See what I mean?" Bob then offered the joint to Indy.
"Well…ah, hell, why not?" He took the offered joint, held it so that his fingers wouldn't get burnt when he took a puff in, and proceeded to do just that. He winced involuntarily as the back of his throat was burnt, but all the same…it was an oddly pleasurable experience. Bob held out his hand, and Indy handed the joint back to him. Bob grinned and directed Brody to take the wheel. He then walked to the door and opened it, indicating with his hand that the two of them should go for a walk. He took a puff on the joint and held it out with a questioning look on his face. Indy nodded his thanks and took the joint, stepping out into the halls. Bob joined him a moment later, after grabbing a comic that Brody was trying to sneak a peek at, and Indy took a puff on the joint.
"Y'know," Indy stated, after coughing slightly, "this isn't as bad as I thought it would be." Bob grinned and took the joint back, taking a puff and glancing oddly at Indy, who was now wearing a somewhat spaced out look. It was then that they heard the loud banging from around the corner, and they both knew what that meant.
"Hulk," Bob offered, and the pair of them took off around the corner. Hulk stood, railing at some poor sap that had been trying to clean up the mess caused by his transformation. Indy looked stumped at first, and then got an idea. He grabbed the joint out of Bob's hand and took an exaggerated puff, which he guessed would catch Hulk's interest.
He was right. Hulk snatched the joint out of his hand and gazed at it a moment before mimicking Indy. He started to cough, gazed at the joint, and took another puff. Indy grabbed it at that point, and instead of being angry, Hulk shrugged and gazed intently at a spot on the wall. "Wall out to get Hulk," the green goliath said after a moment. Indy peered at it closely, narrowing his eyes, before taking a puff of the joint.
Bob looked at the two of them with a mix of amusement and amazement. These two were the most lightweight smokers he'd ever met! Then he too got an idea, smirked, and walked off, leaving Indiana Jones and Hulk to smoke the joint unsupervised.
"Hey, I think you're right," Indy stated, after a rather long few minutes of contemplation. "We should get going, before it realizes it needs to use its arms to get us." So the two began walking, and Hulk picked up Indy and placed the explorer on his shoulder. Indy grinned and handed the joint to Hulk, who took a long puff and passed it back to Indy. "So, um…where are we going? I know I had something in mind when I went to talk to Bob, but…I can't remember it."
"Hulk think wall chasing us." Both of them snapped their heads around, peering down the hallway intensely. "Sneaky wall."
"What should we do," Indy asked, his free hand snaking towards his pistol.
"Find funny see-through man. He see wall before wall see us!"
"Right," Indy stated, and then pointed out ahead of him. "To Darien!" Hulk sniffed the air and then took off down the hall. The thudding noises of Hulk's rapid pace thundered throughout The Sword, and Indy could barely manage to hold on and keep his hat in place. Hulk skidded around a corner and stopped, pointing a hand out at Darien.
"See-through man!!!!" Darien froze in place, looking like a deer in the headlights of a Sherman tank. "Need help. Wall out to get us. You be see-through, see wall before wall sees us!" Darien's look of fear had only increased as Hulk spoke, and he looked to Indy, a tremor in his voice as he spoke.
"I-is he high?" Indy grinned and held up the joint, and Darien groaned a word that sounded like "duh" before grinning slightly. "Say, Indy…how about you let me join in on your little party?"
"C'mon aboard Hulk Express," Indy stated, which elicited a laugh from Hulk. The green giant scooped Darien up and placed him on his other shoulder. Indy passed the joint around Hulk's massive jade head and Darien took it with a smirk.
"Y'know, this is why I love you guys," Darien stated, puffing on the joint before passing it to Hulk. Hulk grinned, took a puff, and then passed it to Indy.
"Who is Hulk," Hulk asked, and then beat his fists against his chest.
"I dunno," Darien stated, smirking.
"Um…that hairy mutant guy in New York," Indy guessed. "With the knives in his hands?"
"King Kong," Hulk bellowed, and Indy and Darien both laughed.
"So how'd this all start, anyway," Darien asked, glancing to Indy. The older man took a puff on the joint, passed it to Darien, and then thought for what seemed like forever.
"I…had to talk to Bob about…something." He suddenly snapped his fingers and his face brightened. "I was looking for Dick!" Hulk snickered, and Indy slapped him in the back of the head. "Not like that, Hulk."
"You gotta admit," Darien laughed, "that was pretty funny." Hulk grinned and Darien high fived him.
"So what were we running from, again," Indy asked, looking around.
"Walls," Hulk shouted, as if just remembering his predicament.
"We should get out to where there aren't any," Darien supplied, before snapping his head around behind them. "I heard something!"
"Hulk did too!"
"Then move," Indy exclaimed. Hulk took off, and Indy started laughing. "Darien, look at this!" He wrapped his left arm around Hulk's head and then stood up. "I'm the king of the world!" Darien started cracking up laughing, and even Hulk, who was currently running very fast, sniggered. They burst up the narrow ladder, Hulk being big enough to just put his hands on either side of the tower and propel them upwards, and more or less burst through the door. They all breathed a sigh of relief before realizing that Robin was scrambling to get up, and Selene was looking at them in a mixture of amazement and worry.
"What's wrong," the beautiful vampiress asked.
"The walls were out to get us," Darien supplied.
"Hulk move too fast," Hulk added, gloating. "Walls not catch us." Selene looked stupefied, but Robin knew instantly what was going on.
"You're all high, aren't you," the Boy Wonder asked.
"As a kite, kiddo," Indy replied, laughing and showing him the joint.
"Hey, you don't look so good, Robin," Darien observed. "But boy, do we have a solution!" Hulk smiled broadly and Indy held the joint out in Robin's direction. Robin looked at it before shaking his head.
"Nah, that's okay. I think I'm going to go have a word with Bob."
"I'll join you," Selene stated, not wanting to be anywhere near a high Hulk. As it turns out, it was Darien who she had to be worried about. He hopped off of Hulk's shoulder before ducking behind the jade giant. Selene allowed Robin to exit first, and then followed. She didn't realize Darien had gone invisible and followed her until she felt a hand squeeze her backside. She growled and spun, nearly hitting Darien. "Once and once only I'll excuse you, Darien…the next time, Bob will have to find a new invisible man." Darien laughed all the way back to his two companions, and they showed no signs of going anywhere until the joint, which was rather large, was smoked completely down.
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Robin sighed as he pushed open the door to the conference room. Bob had sent Zorro to get the vampire and the Boy Wonder, and now they were all taking their seats. "Something wrong," Robin asked.
"Bob is deep in thought at the moment," Zorro explained. "He and I were talking about what the next move should be when we spied a small boat in the window. We got closer, and Bob recognized the occupant of the boat. He was a very foul mouthed individual."
"That would be Jay," Robin stated. He looked to Bob and smiled. "I guess he's okay!"
"Bob believed the same," Zorro replied.
"You don't," Selene asked, unsure where the masked freedom fighter was going with this.
"I think it is possible," Zorro replied. "And I am truly hoping this Jay is perfectly fine. However…I have a bad feeling about this. Bob was willing to delay picking him up until he spoke to all of us about it and took a vote. The two of you have been informed, so now we can vote."
"The others are," Robin began, but Zorro cut him off with a grin.
"I have been informed as to their…condition. We are treating them as 'injured' until the effect of the joint wears off." Robin laughed and nodded his assent. "Alright, now we vote. All those in favor of picking up Jay, raise your hand." Bob's hand shot up, and Robin's and Selene's were moments behind his. Zorro glanced at all of the hands raised and sighed. "It appears I am out voted. In that case, I feel I should warn all of you: Be careful. On this journey, I have come to realize that appearances are not always as they seem."
"I understand, Zorro," Robin stated. Bob nodded in agreement and Selene offered a reassuring smile. "We'll take precautions just in case you're right." Zorro let a slow smile spread across his face.
"That is what I was hoping for." He rose and then added, "I think it would be wise to go tell the Three Amigos that they will be waiting on the conning tower until the effects of their little escapade wear off." Laughter erupted from the three Leaguers seated, and Zorro headed off to make sure that Indiana, Hulk, and Darien stayed on the conning tower.
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"Tubby," Jay shouted in glee, throwing his arms around his friend as he was hauled aboard The Sword. Bob embraced Jay warmly before making hasty introductions. "Well, I'll be damned. You moved up in the world, man. So did you make any sales?" Bob laughed and shook his head, and Robin couldn't help but smile. Selene was trying to force her face to stay neutral while Zorro was beginning to feel more at ease with this Jay fellow. True, his mouth was dirtier than a landfill, but he didn't seem like someone that could do too much damage. "And yo, man, you're hookin' up with some hotties," Jay purred, smirking as he looked to Selene. Robin's eyes narrowed and he sidled over to Selene. "Awww, c'mon Dickie, loosen up."
"Listen, Jay," Robin began, "I know you've been through a lot, but you were screaming about needing to tell us something earlier, before we picked you up. What is it?"
"Oh, shit!" Jay smacked himself in the head. "Damn, I almost forgot. That Dracula guy, he kept me prisoner for a while, 'til I whooped his ass and escaped."
"More like annoyed the hell out of him until he let him go," Selene whispered, barely loud enough for Robin to hear. He was hard pressed to suppress the laugh that tried to work its way out his mouth.
"But he was talkin' about whackin' some chick, and it sounded like he was kind of afraid of her." He paused, and then he said, "Said her name was…Harler, or Harper or something."
"Wilhelmina Harker," Selene blurted, amazed.
"That was it," Jay exclaimed. "Guy was in a rant and rave about that bitch, man. Boring as all hell, lemme tell you."
"Did you hear where she was," Zorro questioned. "And Jay, try to remember correctly. This is important."
"…Yeah, yeah. I remember."
"She'd be a major help in getting rid of Dracula," Robin stated.
"We'll have to call Bond," Selene added.
"My question," Zorro sighed, "is why she didn't show herself sooner."
"She probably heard that Dracula was back and was laying low until she got an opportunity to attack him," Robin explained.
"And we're that opportunity," Zorro finished, nodding in agreement. "That makes sense. So, Jay, do you think you could take us to where Dracula said Mrs. Harker was?"
"Ain't no thang," Jay replied enthusiastically.
"Then off we go," Selene stated.
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"So, Jay has been recovered," Bond stated, his image yet again on the computers screen. "And he says he can lead you to the whereabouts of Mrs. Wilhelmina Harker?"
"Yes," Zorro replied, nodding. "Alex is teaching Jay a few knife techniques, since Bob seems to want him to stick around, and Robin and Selene are getting ready to go."
"And the others," Bond asked, arching an eyebrow.
"We have…assigned them to remain here, since we don't know how quickly the anti-League recovered."
"Good. Well then, proceed with your plan, Mr. Murrieta. Let me know when Mrs. Harker is on board."
"I will, Mr. Bond. Thank you."
"Not at all." Bond reached up to turn off his webcam, but the look on Zorro's face stopped him. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Murrieta?"
"I was just wondering," Zorro began, "if you knew the reason why Mrs. Harker did not surface sooner."
"While we don't know the reasoning behind her hiding, we do know that she did not respond to our correspondence on the matter. Do you suspect something, Mr. Murrieta?"
"…No. No, nothing. Thank you again, Mr. Bond." Bond nodded, and this time he did turn his webcam off. Zorro fiddled with his for a few moments before finding the switch and turning it off.
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"Are you sure this is the place Dracula said Mrs. Harker was residing in," Zorro asked, looking the decrepit mansion up and down.
"Sure I'm sure," Jay replied, holding the crossbow he'd been given close to his chest. "I was only his prisoner and tortured an' all," he continued sarcastically.
"Point taken," Zorro replied. "I apologize."
"Don't worry about it," Jay replied, shrugging it off. He took a few steps backwards to indicate that he wouldn't be the one opening the door. Robin sighed and moved up to grip the handle. Selene grabbed his hand and shook her head.
"In case Dracula is waiting for us," she stated, "you'd better let me open it." Alex used the moment of tension between the two to step forward and open the door. He smirked at the angry Selene and gestured inside.
"Ladies first," he stated. Selene sighed and entered, followed by Alex, Robin, and Bob. The sight they were greeted with was a shocking one.
A woman with fiery red hair was chained, naked, to a wall. Fangs were protruding from her mouth, and her eyes were glowing red. She had narrow hips and a stunning figure, although her skin was oddly pale. "Oh my god," Alex breathed, and Selene swung off her coat and strode forward, intending to cover Mrs. Harker with it.
There was a brief swooshing sound, and then a crossbow bolt thunked into Mrs. Harker's chest, piercing her heart and turning her to ash almost instantly. The Leaguers spun to see Jay grinning, holding his crossbow, neck bent to reveal two half-healed puncture wounds on his neck. "Sorry, tubby, but you walked into it." The door slammed shut, revealing it to be made of strong, reinforced steel. Selene ran up and slammed into it, but bounced back. She growled and kicked at it, to no avail. Alex punched through a nearby wall, his hand meeting with the same resistance. "The entire house is reinforced with it," the Crow groaned.
"Our only hope," Robin stated, "is the three we left behind."
"Robin," Selene sighed.
"Yeah, I know, we're doomed," the Boy Wonder replied, "but hey, I had to at least try and be cheerful." He glanced around at the others. "So…what do we do now?" Bob reached into his jacket and pulled out a deck of cards.
"Poker," the normally silent man stated.