Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't ask, don't tell.
AN/Warnings: YIFF! And YAOI! (Shouldn't this be obvious by now?)
Genre(s): Romance, drama, angst, yiff.
Setting: One year after the war with Andross.
Song Credits: Push it (c) Garbage
Additional AN: Just after "Fix Me Now." The last installment. Enjoy.
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Push It
(I was angry when I met you.
I think I'm angry still.
We can try to talk it over,
If you say you'll help me out.)
.
late night, Falco and Katt's trailer
"Can we talk?" Fox asked, shivering from rain and apprehension.
Falco stood in shock for a moment, not moving, just drinking in Fox's presence, part of him wanting to yank Fox indoors and squeeze him, tell him he was sorry, so, so sorry. The bastard part of him wanted to slam the door shut and turn his face away from the current situation. But how easy could that be? He'd see him day after day, and if Fox's spiteful glance from that morning had been any indication, if he didn't do something now, not even the friendship would be saved.
Don't be a pussy, Lombardi. You've already run from it. Just face it, like you know you should.
Falco swallowed, nodding, moving to allow Fox entrance. He stepped inside, rain trickling down his face, his shirt already soaked, pants dotted with raindrops. He suppressed the natural urge to shake himself dry, quivering again, wrapping his arms across his chest, chaffing his arms for warmth. The trailer was covered in darkness, the only light flickering off the corridor walls; the TV in Falco's room was on.
Well, you're here. Now what the fuck are you going to do?
"Listen... Falco? I..." Fox licked his lips, suddenly tongue-tied. He had an entire speech written out in his head, he'd been practicing and mending it over and over again in his mind, and now, staring into Falco's unreadable eyes, he could think of nothing to say. What was there to say? Had he come here to break up with Falco, or to try and salvage what was left of their friendship? He took a deep breath, trying to start again when--
"I think it's over," Falco said, no tone or emotion in his voice, his expression undisturbed. Fox felt his stomach drop, but could only nod as he closed his eyes and winced, trying to breath and finding that there was no air.
Well, what did you expect when you decided to just stroll on in?
Go away, Fox muttered back, feeling sick with himself and sick with Falco, and sick with that God damned annoying voice in the back of his mind.
What did you expect?
Shut up.
(Don't worry baby.
No need to fight.
Don't worry baby.
We'll be all right.)
Fox felt the heat rising within him, his cheeks burning, throat ablaze with the pain of struggling to control himself. Something was going on in his stomach, as though it were shriveling up and trying to devour itself. His palms were sweating badly, and he wiped them off on his pants, trying not to be obvious about it. A rush of heat fell over him, but he was still shivering, as if his body could not decide if it was too hot or too cold.
"So...that's it then?"
Falco stared at him, stone faced. "I guess."
Fox breathed deeply, his throat locked up, as though he'd just swallowed something too large and it was grinding against the soft flesh of his esophagus. Aw, fuck. He was going to loose it.
Falco whom he trusted. Falco whom he loved. Falco whom he gave his virginity to. Falco, who was telling him to shut up and drag his sorry ass out the door and just forget everything. As if it could be so easy.
What are you waiting for, then? Get the hell out.
..................
You bleeding heart.
........I hate you.
Air rushed out of Fox's nose in short bursts, a final, vain attempt to reign his emotions. His cheeks were itchy with drying tears, and his throat locked up just tightly enough to truly hurt. Falco had not moved, had not even tried to comfort him in anyway, despite his obvious suffering.
You're crying like a damn girl.
Shut up.
He hates you
Shut. Up.
He used you for a good fuck, and now you're useless to him.
SHUT UP!!
His defenses were starting to break, and it scared him.
Please.......
(This is the noise that keeps me awake,
My head explodes and my body aches.)
"You are such a fucking child, Falco!" Fox barked with sudden passion, the suppressed tears finally roiling up from beneath, spilling onto his furry cheeks. Falco had subjected him to such emotional pain, such physical torment, and now, he was willing to just brush him off, like nothing had happened in the first place? "I nearly worshiped--"
"I never told you to fucking worship me, Fox!" Falco shot back, skin underneath his feathers red with the strain. Fox had opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it, recoiling from the sting of Falco's words. His chest was beginning to heave as his breathing increased, sightly audible snorts of air hissing out his nostrils once again.
"You're not a fuckin' martyr," Falco snapped, turning his back to Fox. The vulpine growled, eyes narrowing.
"I never said I was!" he screamed back, voice cracking, almost as if imitating the chinks spider webbing through his defenses. He sniffed, trying to hold back sobs of frustration. He ran a paw over his eyes, angry once again at his own weakness. A child, you're such a fucking child....
"I never asked for this," Fox finally whispered after a moment of silence.
"You think I fucking did?" Falco ground out, his back still turned to Fox. "You had just as much a part in this as I."
Fox swallowed the cry in his throat, not allowing any more frailty to escape. He tried his best to recreate some semblance of dignity and control. If he lost himself now, nothing would be solved. And it had to. It was killing him, killing both of them
You'll survive, Fox. You'll find someone else. Someone who won't do this to you.
But it won't be Falco.
(Push it.
Make the beats go higher.
Pu-Pu-Pu-Push it!
Make the beats go higher. )
"You're a bastard, and I hate you," Fox whispered, turning away from Falco, towards the wall.
Falco breathed in an uneasy shudder, arrogant mask slipping into place. "That's fine."
"Fuck you!" Fox hissed abruptly, sorrow giving way to pure rage, hatred and anger of betrayal and mistrust roiling from beneath the surface and overflowing. He threw himself at Falco, batting at him his clenched fists, expletives and accusations pouring out of his mouth in a steady stream. Fox had finally broke.
Miserable sniveling fucking coward!
He growled, fists clenching so hard his paws hurt. Fuck this. Fuck Falco. He was pissed, and sick f everything. He'd given Falco everything he'd had, and Falco had left him when he needed him the most.
Before Fox could open his mouth again, Falco crushed his muzzle with his beak, pressed him up against the wall, wings resting on his cheeks. A tear rolled down Fox's face, and he reached up Falco's back, resting his paws on his shoulders, squeezing the muscle underneath his thin t-shirt. He in turn pulled Falco closer to him, trying to touch as much of him as possible, as though trying to melt into him.
Falco.....
(I'm sorry that I hurt you.
But please don't ask me why.
I want to see you happy,
I want to see you shine.)
Fox blinked, smiling, and pressed his lips to Falco's chest, eyes sliding closed. He wasn't sure what to do, where to start, but something within him did. Sliding his paws down Falco's hard back, he nuzzled the feathers atop his head, the avian suddenly docile, nearly limp in his arms.
He wanted this to be over. He wanted it to stop. Fox was sick of fighting, and so we he. All the emotional strain of the past year or so had come pouring out in one gigantic wave, crushing them both. And Falco hated it. He hated feeling weak. He wanted to give up. He was fucking tired.
"I'm so tired, Fox," Falco finally whispered, thinking about gentle red-head, about Katt. Abut all of the people he'd fucked up in the past weeks. Katt has trusted him, and he'd let her down. He'd let Fox down, too. Burned his trust and hurt him.
Fox nuzzled the feathers atop Falco's head, stray emotions that he couldn't define swarming through his body. In the back of his mind, he understood what Falco was trying to do. The avian was never good with explaining himself, but his actions usually spoke for him. He was fighting natural instincts, giving Fox the dominate position, something that was never easy for him.
"Falco....." Fox whispered, voice squeaking slightly. It would hurt, he knew it. He wasn't willing to subject Falco to that kind of pain, the kind he had felt merely days ago. The dull ache was still there, a reminder of their mistake, but it had faded so much that he had barely noticed it at all. Registering his hesitation, Falco smiled, reaching up to caress Fox's wet cheek.
"Don't cry, Fox. I promise it will be okay."
Fox stared into Falco's eyes, scrutinizing him for any sign of fear, any sign of resignation. He found none. In a burst of emotional onslaught, Fox attacked Falco, lapping at his face and neck, kissing him with fervor. He needed Falco to understand. He needed him to know that he loved him, no matter what had happened the days before. How stupid they had both been, to believe they were ready to let go. Nothing so substantial could be shed off quite so easily. Falco rubbed Fox's back, soothing him.
I know, Fox...
(Don't worry baby.
Don't be uptight.
Don't worry baby.
We'll stay up all night.)
They were tumbling over each other, lips and teeth and tongues meeting in passion. They were swimming in currents and tides, fur and feathers slapping and rubbing against each other in haze and fury. Fox's nails dug into Falco's back, the avian beneath him, feverishly pulling at his pants zipper. He yanked Fox's khakis down, sliding his wings back up his waist, up underneath his shirt. Fox smiled, trying not to blush, awkwardly ridding the avian of his own clothes.
Fox was still inexperienced, embarrassment and fear and lust clouding his head, wincing against the intensity of the sensations washing ver him. Heat was pooling between his legs, sending shivers up his spine and throughout his belly. Fox trembled, lowing himself onto Falco again, burying his face in the soft feathers of Falco's chest.
Falco reached up t the coffee table, sliding his wing across the hard surface, fingers grasping at a small bottle; Katt had left her tube of paw pad lotion out. Fox watched him questioningly, Falco squeezing the thick substance onto his own fingers, deciding it was easiest for both of them if he do it himself. Fox merely waited, nipping at Falco's collarbone.
Falco had finished prepping himself, slick wings teasing the muscles on Fox's inner thighs.
"Your turn," Falco breathed, stroking the back of Fox's head with his free wing. He eased his wing up to Fox's length, working the rest of the lube into red fur. Fox grunted, eyes rolling with pleasure. He panted into blue feathers, propping himself up on his elbows, struggling to find a position comfortable enough for both he and Falco. He stared down into the avian's face, paws coming to rest grasping on his shoulders. Falco nodded, and Fox pushed in.
He gasped, breath coming out in sharp, ragged exhales, and squeezed his eyes shut, tears trickling at the corners. It was tighter than he had imagined, Falco's thick skin swallowing him up. He moved in slowly, his mind screaming at him to push harder, deeper, faster. He reigned his hormones, not willing to cause Falco any pain. This time, it would be gentle. It would be the way it should have been. Fox waited until Falco adjusted, panting just as he. Fox thrust again, clumsily, body jerking, Falco's harsh cries ringing out.
(This is the noise that keeps me awake.
My head explodes and my body aches.)
But soon enough, Fox found his rhythm, soft mewls whispering from his lips with each thrust He was inexperienced, but not completely ungraceful, thrusting gently, his hips rolling smoothly. Falco responded in kind, rubbing his wings over Fox's back, fingertips trailing in sweaty fur.
This was it. This was what he had wanted. This was the way it should have been. Fox pumped again, he and Falco racing ever higher towards something, the heat in between them burning hotter and hotter with every thrust. Falco arched his back, his slick chest pressing against Fox's, wet feathers slapping against wet fur. Fox's muzzle hungrily met Falco's beak, fingers teasing his neck. He was nearing incineration, breaking the kiss to arch his neck back, breath wheezing out in quick panting gasps.
"Fa-ah-" Fox stumbled over his words, his body shuddering, thrusts becoming rapid jerks, the heat pooling at his groin consuming his every fiber.
Oh-oh shit, I'm going.... I'm going to......
"Falco," he hissed between swollen lips, vision clouding. The avian stared up at him, his own climax swiftly overtaking him, Fox's thrusts sending shockwaves inside him, the pressure against his insides incredible. He reached up, caressing fuzzy cheeks, a trickle of moisture dribbling over his fingers. Fox's eyes were closed, but his face was shiny in the dim light filtering in from the hallway.
Oh... Fox, don't cry....
A whimper reached his ears, and Fox was sobbing, fire engulfing him, his every muscle constricting and he gasped painfully, his body rising ever closer t that tiny pinpoint of light--
I love you.
Fox exploded, his muscles contracting, pleasure so great it hurt sweeping through his body.
(Push it.
Make the beats go higher
Pu-Pu-Pu-Push it!
Make the beats go higher.)
Fox opened his eyes, not remembering when he'd squeezed them shut, realizing he was pressed against Falco, still on top of him. He squirmed, sliding out of Falco, coming to nestle beside him. Fox was tired, wet, and sticky, but somehow comfortable, content. He was dozing off when Falco nudged him, fingertips gracing his cheek.
"Fox, we can't sleep here. Even if Katt's okay with us, I doubt she'd like to find this when she gets home," Falco whispered, kissing the top of Fox's head. The vulpine nodded, mumbling, pressing his face closer to Falco's soft down, trying to rouse himself, to sit up. The avian smirked, reaching out, fumbling with their pile of scattered clothing.
"Another mighty battalion ends up in the wash cycle," Falco sighed, using his shirt to wipe off his tummy the best he could. Fox looked over at him with a tired smile, sweaty red bangs hanging in his face.
They helped each other up, gathering the mess of clothes, stumbling off towards Falco's bedroom.
(C'mon push it, you can d it
C'mn prove it, nothing to it.
C'mon use it, let's get through it.
C'mon push it, nothing to it.)
Fox sighed, falling into the mattress, grunting when Falco pushed on him, the vulpine complying, rolling to make room for Falco, throwing an arm over the avian the instant his feathers hit the sheets. He more tired than he'd ever been, all the jerking off he'd ever done not even coming close to what he'd experienced tonight. Falco remained quiet, linking his own wings around Fox's back. He yawned, feeling his own exhaustion setting in.
They'd have to have a long talk, of that much, both were certain. The activities of the night hadn't smoothed everything over, but it had gone a long way. Showing off his weak side was never easy for Falco, much less submitting to someone. But in the end, his own sacrifice had regained Fox's trust, and he felt lighter, knowing that even though things would never be perfect, love didn't have to be such a scary word. He sighed, lip curling, feeling happy yet disgusted with the mushy-gushiness of it all. If Katt ever knew, he'd never live it down.
"Um....Falco?" Fox whispered, muttering into his feathers. "You have really great legs."
"Fox...." Falco started, chuckling in spite of himself. "You're such..... a dumbass."
Fox smiled, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Love you too, asshole."
(Don't worry baby.
Don't be uptight.
Don't worry baby.
We'll stay up all night.)
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AFTERWARDS
AUTHORS NOTES
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Well, there you have it. That's it. Hope it was good for you.
When I started out over a year ago writing the GLS, I never ever imagined the series would find people who read it and actually liked it, much less procure a group of fans. To this day, I'm still quite amazed. I never expected to take it this far. The original GLS was supposed to be a quick five fics without any side fics or the like. Now look.
(Yar, these crappy fics even have their own website. Check the link on my user look up You'll find a banner on the main page.)
Anyways, I also want to mention that I am accepting yaoi and yuri centered art and fics, so send them in. (.html format is recommended, but I can take just about any type. Just know it will be transferred to .html. Separate chapters, please. I'll take .gif and .jpg for pics.) Het is okay too, as long as it's not the focus.
I really want to thank Kerplunk, who originally got me off my ass to continue the series when I thought no one cared. Also, I send my gratitude to Kyussen-san for his beautiful artwork done for the series.
And thanks to Atroxumus, Ringshadow, Pashy Lou, Love, Still Life, Lina, Chibialanda, Slayers, Jengar, RaymondS, Kevian August, Doctor Stranglove, Canis Lupus, Navajo, and anyone else I may have forgotten. When I didn't feel like writing, I thought of you guys, and what you'd do to me had I not finished. I thank you all so much for reading and reviewing.
And especially, I want to thank my dearest Kitten, for putting me through enough emotional trauma to fodder the series, and the countless hours sacrificed to help me work on my lemon writing skills.
(Push it.
Push it.
Push it.)