Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
AN/Warnings: Coarse language, mild yaoi.
Genre(s): Angst, drama, AUish.
Setting: One year after the war with Andross. (Takes place during Celeste Noire and Push it)
Additional AN: The song lyrics are from the English ending to Blue Gender. For the full effect, I recommend listening to the song while reading. (It's a hard-to-find song, I know.) I got mine off KaZaa. :P
Dedication: The last in the Violin Trilogy. Written for Still Life, a total fan, and a total nut. :P
.
Notorious
.
I remember shots
Without a chaser.
Absent minded thoughts.
Now you're a stranger.
Cover up the scars,
Put on your game face.
Left you in a bar,
To try and save face.
--Man Overboard
.
Miyu was smiling at him, stroking the fur on the back of his head. He was whispering something in his ear, soft and slow, the murmur of air scurrying over his fur soothingly. Arms were wrapped around him, and he was safe, wrapped in Miyu's satin embrace.
The rain had stopped, and the stars were peeking down through thinning clouds. The grass was pleasantly moist and cool against his sweat-warm fur, and suddenly he was so, so sleepy. Miyu mumbled something again, moving against him, and Wolf felt a lump crawl its way into his throat. He tucked himself deeper into the lynx' arms, knowing time was swiftly descending upon him.
Miyu purred, nuzzling his cheek, and Wolf swallowed, opening his mouth.
"I lo--"
Hey--
Hey buddy--
".....Wake up."
Wolf snorted, startled, suddenly awake, finding himself immersed in a thick blanket of smoke and beer-stench haze, his face sore from resting on the hard surface of the bar top. He grunted, sitting up, scratching at his collarbone, arching his stiff back. He burped, rubbing a paw over his head, ruffling the fur, staring in disdain at the empty shot glasses and liquor bottles surrounding his spot at the bar. He cocked his head to the side. He must've started a pyramid with the shot glasses before passing out.
He blinked his one good eye, trying to focus, the bar counter top seeming too far away, then too close. The bartender was watching him too closely, and Wolf let out a warning growl, suddenly reaching the epiphany that the lion probably just wanted him to pay for the liquor. Wolf staggered upright, digging his jacket pockets for a wad of cash, dropping it onto the counter and wobbling the best he could out the door and into the blinding lights of the street.
Wolf stumbled along the alleyway, hiccups pouring out of him in sporadic intervals as he shuffled along blindly, paw groping the wall. He mumbled something to himself, head lolling off to the side. The nearby streetlight was sending his brain into a burning fizzle, and Wolf closed his eye against the brilliance, only opening it after several seconds, just in time to see a figure standing underneath the light, just in time to see--
Miyu. My dear, it's been so long.
Wolf fell against the brick wall, suddenly dizzy again, wanting to cry or run or something. Miyu smirked, sighing, walking towards him, gracefully, beautifully, as if he were floating. He stopped, cocking his head to the side, his charming grin still imbibing his face with a celestial glow. And suddenly, Wolf wanted to say something, he needed to tell Miyu so many things....
I'm so, so sorry, Miyu. It wasn't my fault, it--
But he only smiled, a laugh escaping his lips, and then Miyu--
--Leon--
--held him, picking him up off the cold and damp wastes of cement.
"Thought I'd find you here," Leon smiled, throwing one of Wolf's arms across his shoulders, putting an arm around his waist. The height difference always made carrying Wolf awkward and difficult, Leon hunching over slightly help support the inebriated lupine.
"Fflegh," gurgled Wolf in reply, his head falling back, tongue comically hanging out. Leon grunted, Wolf's full weight pressed against him, soft snoring escaping his lips. Finding it easier to just heft Wolf into his arms, Leon let out a series of French swear words, falling back into his native language as was his wont to do during times of deep concentration or stress. He exhaled sharply, Wolf curling against him, a happy sigh releasing from his muzzle.
"Wolf, you know better," Leon muttered, clicking the lock to their bedroom, sliding the chain across its track. Wolf coughed, pulling off his shoes, trying his best to ignore Leon. A headache was setting in, and the last thing he wanted to hear was more of Leon's bitching about him being irresponsible. The seven year age difference often caused its share of disputes between the two; Leon's viewpoint a little bit better tempered with age, and Wolf's obscured by reckless youth.
"You know what Andrew's up to," Leon scolded lightly, arms folded across his naked chest. An undignified burp was his answer, Wolf stumbling into the sheets, sighing as he fell into the mattress. He wrestled with them a moment, grunting as he smoothed out the blankets with his paws, finally curling up into a ball. Leon sighed, his patience starting to run thin. "Wolf, does the name 'Andross' mean anything to you?"
Wolf snorted.
"Andross was an insane fool. Andrew's no better."
Leon opened his mouth to say something, but fell silent, knowing Wolf was right. Andrew hadn't taken Venom's defeat well, and often shut himself away in the lower levels, doing who-bloody-knows-what in his laboratories, appearing for only moments after days of solitude. His sanity had been sacrifice to the first war, and hell only knew what he had planned for the second.
He sighed, looking over his shoulder at Wolf, who's tongue flicked out slightly to wet his nose before his pulled his pillow closer, nuzzling his face into it. It looked as though he was down for the count. Leon frowned lightly, turning his attention to the bedside table, trying to busy himself; he wasn't quite so tired yet. He clicked the nob on the little clock-radio, tuning it until he found a song he liked. It was a woman's voice, soft, beautiful, gliding along the aching words of a melancholy song.
(Even if the days,
When I smiled a lot
Should turn out
To be nothing but a lovely dream.....)
He turned, in a spontaneous mood to dance. "Wolf, stand up."
Wolf whined, pushing his face further into the pillow. "Don't wanna."
Leon smiled, standing up, grabbing on of Wolf's wrists, yanking him up off the bed and against his chest. Wolf stumbled against him, tipsily trying to protest as Leon placed a hand on his hip, the other holding his free paw, intertwining their fingers.
Wolf sighed, rolling his eyes, trying to stop the room from spinning. "I forgot you were so fucking cultured."
Leon smirked. "Slut."
"Sadist."
(That would be alright with me.
If that's all it means.
My mind's unrest,
Struggling with me.)
Wolf sighed, resting his head on Leon's shoulder, entertaining his lover's little fantasy. He stifled the urge to giggle, wondering what those who feared the name Powalski would think if they could see him now. He could be surprisingly gentle, when he wanted to be...
He closed his eyes, content to sway to the music for a few moments, if only for Leon's sake.
(Recalling the past,
Who I could be.
Gotta rise and be strong,
Gotta be tough,
But not lose the person I am.)
Maybe it was only a matter of time before Andrew did something rash. Maybe it was only a matter of time before Leon went homicidal again. Maybe it was only a matter of time before Wolf's past caught up with him, ripping and tearing away the last shreds of what he considered his sanity.
But, if even for only a little while, for the love of the goddesses, they could pretend to be something normal.
Wolf's most recent hiccup fit was slowly subsiding when he was abruptly aware of the churning in his stomach.
(Two live I have,
One life I live.
One life I dream.
In dreams I remember,
You better than me.)
"Le-Leon, I-I'm going to...to....."
Wolf suppressed a choke, pulling away from Leon, covering his muzzle with his paws. The liquor he'd consumed earlier had begun assaulting his stomach, and now it looked like the organ was trying to evict it from his body. He stooped over, trying to contain himself, Leon rubbing his back, one claw on his shoulder.
"You okay?"
Wolf closed his eyes, calming himself, listening to the song as it ended and slowly faded, focusing on it instead of the pain in his stomach, the warmth rising slowly up his throat.
(Vision, don't let me down.
I'm depending on you.
Carry me through,
When I see reality.)
After several painful minutes, Wolf righted himself unsteadily, taking numerous deep breaths, his stomach calm and once again content to hold its fill of alcohol.
"I--I'm okay..." Wolf whispered, managing a small pull of his lips to reassure Leon that he was. The lizard nodded, clicking off the radio, helping Wolf into bed. The sat for a few moments, Wolf still trying to rest his stomach, Leon left with his thoughts to run rampant in the semi-darkness.
"Wolf..." Leon began, almost shyly, as though he weren't sure what to say. Wolf had never known Leon to be unarticulate in any situation. "When I found you, you called me Miyu. Are you.....still thinking about him?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Wolf..."
"I said I don't want to fucking talk about it!" Wolf snapped, his teeth bared. Most of Leon's past was a closed book to him, and thus Wolf was not so eager to speak about his own, either. There had been occasions when Leon had wormed a few pieces of information out of him, but Wolf was determined to not let this be one.
Why can't you just leave it, Leon? Don't ruin the night....
Leon sighed, rolling away from Wolf, throwing an arm over his eyes. Behind him, Wolf coughed, mumbling, trying to drunkenly work his way out of the sheets. He never liked it when Leon was cross with him, and even more so tonight, the alcohol doubling the effects, leaving him lonely. "Don't be a bitch," Wolf muttered, spooning up behind Leon. He wrapped an arm around him, pulling Leon closer, playfully nipped on the back of his neck. Leon smiled, but held his position in stoicism. Wolf soon grew impatient, pawing at Leon's shoulder, trying to get him to roll over.
Unsteadily, Wolf crawled atop him, licking his throat, paws working at the fly on Leon's pants. He continued to slobber and lap at Leon's skin as his fingers repeatedly slipped on the zipper, displaying Wolf's intoxicated finesse. Leon snickered, pushing the lupine's paws away, undoing the fly himself.
"Quiet," Wolf commanded, hiccuping again, pushing the khakis off Leon's hips.
"Horny beast."
"Quiet," Wolf growled again, nibbling at Leon's neck, vibrations running over his lips.
"Chere, Leon mumbled through his chuckling, pulling Wolf closer.