"I don't like that man." Solace was curled up on Smith's couch, frowning at the empty space of carpet in front of her. "I don't like him at all."
"Neither do I, as a matter of fact. But he is one of the best ..." Smith corrected himself. "He is the best at what he does, in my field." It was the simplest way of explaining it.
"What does he do?"
"He is a power broker," Smith said, by which Solace interpreted it to mean that he was an information broker. Only a machine would refer to information directly as power. It brought a little bit of a smile to her face, although the smile was strained and faded quickly. "And he has been in the business, first for my organization and then for himself, for many years."
Years, Solace wondered, or centuries. But as with so many other things, she didn't dare ask Smith. "He's a damn lech," she muttered. It seemed a little odd to be using archaic terms, but she couldn't think of anything else to use. The man, Merovech, had acted in such a bizarrely feudal manner, she couldn't describe him in modern terms. He wasn't a playboy, or a sleaze, or a skanky ho, or anything in modern parlance. He was a rake, a lech, and a ne'er do well. Elegant and fancy terms for a man who used up women and tossed them aside like so many tissues.
"He is also a damn lech," Smith admitted. "And he is very dangerous. Especially to ..." there was the briefest of pauses while, presumably, Smith thought about defining his term as 'human' and discarded the idea. "Women who he thinks do not read him accurately."
Solace shuddered. "I read him damn accurately, I think. And he still came on to me. In the ladies' restroom, no less!" It would have been comical if it hadn't been so darkly unfunnny. And she wasn't about to tell Smith what had really happened, even though nothing had happened that would have gotten her stoned for an adulteress. "He waltzed on in as though he owned the place."
"He does."
Solace laughed. A little hysterical, but still amused and mostly calm nonetheless. "Well, yeah. But you know what I mean! It's not... proper. It's not done, for a gentleman to ... do that."
Smith made a face. "He is not exactly a gentleman, not when he thinks he can get away without being one."
She just shuddered. He certainly hadn't been very gentlemanly the previous night, pawing at her and murmuring what he probably intended to be seductive endearments. It might have worked had Solace not been very much aware of who and what he was, and who and what she had accompanied to the restaurant that evening. Love triangles were messy things at the best of times, and when the 'other man' who had presented himself was neither an object of her affections nor even a proper human being at all, she wasn't about to get herself into that kind of situation. And especially not when she had the distinct feeling she was being coerced, or lured.
"He's fucking repulsive," Solace snapped, and Smith glanced at her almost in shock at her use of vulgar language. She didn't often swear, although occasionally her speech sounded as though she were.
"What happened?" he asked slowly.
"Nothing. Well, nothing remarkable. But something about the way he was coming on to me just... inspired revulsion." Inspired, that was a good word for it. She wanted to say he had triggered her gag reflex, but the truth was he had triggered other, far more pleasurable feelings in her body, and at least part of her had wanted to continue while the rest of her mind and her heart screamed out in protest. "Like some sort of romantic horror villain. Almost like an Ann Rice vampire."
Smith frowned. "Ann Rice?"
"Gothic writer? Pens some really horrible stuff, at least lately. Writes a lot about vampires who are really oversexed for creatures that aren't supposed to have a sex drive anymore." Solace shrugged. "Never mind. He's very classic, for a man whose libido seems to have overridden every portion of common sense he was ever gifted with."
Smith chuckled, and Solace gave him a little smile. Now she was sounding more like herself, snapping off words as though 'common' or 'libido' was an epithet. It was relieving to them both. "He's always been rather..."
"Horny?"
Smith laughed. It was a nice sound, and gave Solace a far more welcome sort of warming thrill to hear. "I would have said, voracious, but if that's the word for it these days..."
"Sheesh. If he's always been that much of a randy little bastard no wonder Persephone looks like she wants to strangle him. I can't believe she's still married to the jerk."
"It was a marriage of convenience, and I believe it is still politically convenient. Otherwise I am sure you are correct, she would have left him long ago." Smith gave her a sideways sort of evaluating glance.
"What?"
"She reminds me, in many ways, a great deal of you."
Solace blinked. It was a bizarre sort of compliment, to be compared to an AI, and yet. "And what brought that on?" she wondered.
"Neither of you tolerate foolishness or licentious behavior in those who should know better," he pointed out. "You are both powerful and... unusually brave women. I am not entirely sure how I should explain it."
Solace suppressed what would have been a remarkably out of place shudder, and just shook her head. "Don't, then. I think I see what you're getting at. And thank you." She smiled. "She's a singular woman, and I'm flattered that you would compare me to her."
"You are also a singular woman." Smith laid his hand over hers without apparently meaning to or even being aware of the gesture, and yet it made Solace flush over her whole body, suddenly feeling far too warm for the room. She wanted to get up and open a window or something. She didn't dare move.
"Thank you," she breathed, then swallowed. It would definitely not go over at all well, either now or for the future, if she acted like she was flirting with him. Another deep breath. "The evening was lovely, lecherous and misbehaving hosts aside. I am glad you took me there and introduced me.. to Persephone, at least." The smile turned wry and a little sad, but no less genuine.
"I am..." Smith paused, an even longer moment this time while he struggled to find words to express himself. Solace would have sympathized if she'd dared reveal herself for what she was. It couldn't be easy to struggle with emotions after an existence spent so very long without them. "Glad..." it came out as almost a whisper, and then he, too, cleared his throat and tried to continue in a more normal tone. "I'm glad you enjoyed the evening... I had a very nice time, as well." It sounded so formulaic. Neither of them had any idea of what to say or how to cope.
"It's raining today," Solace blurted, inanely but desperate to change the subject. "We won't be able to go out unless you feel like getting wet again."
Smith made a face. "No thank you. I am not as fond of standing around in the rain as you are."
"it's dancing around in the rain," she corrected, latching onto the change of subject and grateful that he didn't even question her abruptness. "Or playing in the mud. And did anyone ever tell you you're as fastidious as a cat?"
"No..." Smith drawled. "I've never had the pleasure of being compared to any sort of animal, much less a cat."
"Well you are. Don't like the rain, don't like the mud. Don't like getting wet or dirty. I'm surprised you're willing to wander around in these," she tugged on his oversized sleeve. "I didn't figure you for a sweats and t-shirts sort of guy."
Smith shifted, a little uncomfortable ... well, very uncomfortable, really, with being out of his customary uniform. The uniform he had spent very nearly his entire existence wearing. "It didn't seem appropriate to continue wearing the standard of dress of... my organization." Some unidentifiable emotion, very like anger or anguish, crossed his face in a brief lack of control. It was gone before Solace could identify it.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, and looped her arm through his.
"It's all right." Smith murmured. "It's not your fault."
She had never seen Smith look, or even sound or act, so human. She had never seen any AI act so human as he was acting now. It terrified her, even with the consideration that Smith had been fully capable of the more violent human emotions long before she had ever encountered him. Vengeance, anger, hatred... they were all somehow more suited to a machine in her mind than this. Despite the fact that they could be some of humanity's strongest passions, she could cope more readily with a machine that hated than a machine that felt sorrow, or regret. She wasn't sure she could deal with a machine that seemed to need comfort as much as any human. And at the same time...
She moved a little closer, slid her other arm through his and draped her now-free arm over his shoulders, hugging him nervously, not sure what else to do. Smith froze for a split second, and there was that spasm of anger again (she was more sure it was anger this time), and then he leaned into her embrace and let his head rest on her shoulder. She wanted to scream when he did it, frightened out of her mind. But she just stayed very still. Taking comfort from a machine was one thing, giving it, especially so soon after the last one had tried to have sex with her in a ladies' bathroom...
"Things are changing," Smith murmured, so quietly that she almost missed it. "Many things are changing, very fast. Very fast."
"Things always change..." Solace whispered, closing her eyes and burying her face in his hair. He smelled of shampoo and conditioner, and she thought she could even identify the brand; Head and Shoulders. Such detail. Had he put the detail in or was it simply a holdover from the Agent program? And if it was a holdover, why would they have included such a detail that should never have come up in their interactions with the humans. And if it wasn't.. "Things always change, and usually faster than we would like them to." Things were certainly changing faster than she wanted.
"It is the way of things." His voice resonated pleasantly, his breath was warm against her neck. She wanted so badly to scream and run. "Entropy is the most powerful force in the universe."
"Things fall apart, the center cannot hold."
"Exactly."
Solace extricated her arm and hugged him, fearing that if she didn't she might actually run out the door. "Why such a depressing line of thought? I mean... I know it, and you know it, but why talk about it?"
"I don't know." He sounded angry at himself for not knowing. Angry because he was malfunctioning. Solace could empathize, and she'd never thought she could empathize with a machine.
"Let's talk about something else, then. Besides, change doesn't necessarily have to mean change for the worse. It could be a change for the better." Definitely Head and Shoulders. Did a computer program get dandruff? Little flakes of ones and zeroes? She closed her eyes, hard, against the mental image and tried not to laugh.
"Circumstances never change for the better." His tone had deepened, become more Agent-like, and as always Solace was startled to realize there was a difference.
"They can. You just have to have a little faith. A little hope." She was telling a computer to have faith. What the hell was wrong with her?
"I have very little faith in anything." It was probably true.
Solace pulled back, and Smith sat up with a look of surprise that seemed to indicate he hadn't quite realized the gravity of what he'd done till they were sitting apart again. She kept her hands at his shoulders though. "You have faith in me, don't you?" It was such a natural thing to say, under the circumstances. It would have been a natural thing to say if they had been a man and a woman in the very beginning stages of a relationship, perhaps before either of them had realized it, and they had gone through all of the hard times they pretended to have experienced. But they weren't. They were a machine and a human, a computer program and a woman. There was no beginning of any relationship, only an experiment being conducted in the hopes that alternative solutions to the total destruction of both their kind could be found. The knowledge put more despair and worry into her tone.
Smith stared at her, wide eyes more intensely shaded with blue and gray than any machine had a right to be. His arms were cold under her hands, as though the room temperature weren't perfectly even, and she could feel the edges of his t-shirt brushing against the tops of her fingers. Soft worn cotton that felt as though it had been through the washing machine and fabric softener routine for years, comfortably worn. It was almost more real than the waking world.
"Don't you?" she asked again, and suddenly wondered if she was about to cry. She blinked, just in case. No tears, not now, not for him, not ever.
"I suppose..." he dragged the words out. "I suppose that I do."
"Well, that's good then." Her voice sounded funny. She wanted her voice back. "Because I have faith in you too."
He looked almost as startled as she did to hear that. And that was it, she didn't want to have to look at his face, into his eyes, any more. She leaned forward and slid her hands down, wrapped her arms around his waist. He just sat there, astonished at them both. "Solace..."
"Just... hold me..." she murmured without meaning to or wanting to. She didn't want to confess any vulnerability to him, not now, not to him, not ever. But she also wanted to be held, and comforted. She wanted something familiar and safe, and for whatever reason that was him, Agent Smith, here and now. His arms closed around her with all the hesitation she felt, but tightly, as though once it was done it was certain. Solace closed her eyes and felt the warmth of his body under his soft, soft shirt. They didn't let go of each other for a very long time.
"Neither do I, as a matter of fact. But he is one of the best ..." Smith corrected himself. "He is the best at what he does, in my field." It was the simplest way of explaining it.
"What does he do?"
"He is a power broker," Smith said, by which Solace interpreted it to mean that he was an information broker. Only a machine would refer to information directly as power. It brought a little bit of a smile to her face, although the smile was strained and faded quickly. "And he has been in the business, first for my organization and then for himself, for many years."
Years, Solace wondered, or centuries. But as with so many other things, she didn't dare ask Smith. "He's a damn lech," she muttered. It seemed a little odd to be using archaic terms, but she couldn't think of anything else to use. The man, Merovech, had acted in such a bizarrely feudal manner, she couldn't describe him in modern terms. He wasn't a playboy, or a sleaze, or a skanky ho, or anything in modern parlance. He was a rake, a lech, and a ne'er do well. Elegant and fancy terms for a man who used up women and tossed them aside like so many tissues.
"He is also a damn lech," Smith admitted. "And he is very dangerous. Especially to ..." there was the briefest of pauses while, presumably, Smith thought about defining his term as 'human' and discarded the idea. "Women who he thinks do not read him accurately."
Solace shuddered. "I read him damn accurately, I think. And he still came on to me. In the ladies' restroom, no less!" It would have been comical if it hadn't been so darkly unfunnny. And she wasn't about to tell Smith what had really happened, even though nothing had happened that would have gotten her stoned for an adulteress. "He waltzed on in as though he owned the place."
"He does."
Solace laughed. A little hysterical, but still amused and mostly calm nonetheless. "Well, yeah. But you know what I mean! It's not... proper. It's not done, for a gentleman to ... do that."
Smith made a face. "He is not exactly a gentleman, not when he thinks he can get away without being one."
She just shuddered. He certainly hadn't been very gentlemanly the previous night, pawing at her and murmuring what he probably intended to be seductive endearments. It might have worked had Solace not been very much aware of who and what he was, and who and what she had accompanied to the restaurant that evening. Love triangles were messy things at the best of times, and when the 'other man' who had presented himself was neither an object of her affections nor even a proper human being at all, she wasn't about to get herself into that kind of situation. And especially not when she had the distinct feeling she was being coerced, or lured.
"He's fucking repulsive," Solace snapped, and Smith glanced at her almost in shock at her use of vulgar language. She didn't often swear, although occasionally her speech sounded as though she were.
"What happened?" he asked slowly.
"Nothing. Well, nothing remarkable. But something about the way he was coming on to me just... inspired revulsion." Inspired, that was a good word for it. She wanted to say he had triggered her gag reflex, but the truth was he had triggered other, far more pleasurable feelings in her body, and at least part of her had wanted to continue while the rest of her mind and her heart screamed out in protest. "Like some sort of romantic horror villain. Almost like an Ann Rice vampire."
Smith frowned. "Ann Rice?"
"Gothic writer? Pens some really horrible stuff, at least lately. Writes a lot about vampires who are really oversexed for creatures that aren't supposed to have a sex drive anymore." Solace shrugged. "Never mind. He's very classic, for a man whose libido seems to have overridden every portion of common sense he was ever gifted with."
Smith chuckled, and Solace gave him a little smile. Now she was sounding more like herself, snapping off words as though 'common' or 'libido' was an epithet. It was relieving to them both. "He's always been rather..."
"Horny?"
Smith laughed. It was a nice sound, and gave Solace a far more welcome sort of warming thrill to hear. "I would have said, voracious, but if that's the word for it these days..."
"Sheesh. If he's always been that much of a randy little bastard no wonder Persephone looks like she wants to strangle him. I can't believe she's still married to the jerk."
"It was a marriage of convenience, and I believe it is still politically convenient. Otherwise I am sure you are correct, she would have left him long ago." Smith gave her a sideways sort of evaluating glance.
"What?"
"She reminds me, in many ways, a great deal of you."
Solace blinked. It was a bizarre sort of compliment, to be compared to an AI, and yet. "And what brought that on?" she wondered.
"Neither of you tolerate foolishness or licentious behavior in those who should know better," he pointed out. "You are both powerful and... unusually brave women. I am not entirely sure how I should explain it."
Solace suppressed what would have been a remarkably out of place shudder, and just shook her head. "Don't, then. I think I see what you're getting at. And thank you." She smiled. "She's a singular woman, and I'm flattered that you would compare me to her."
"You are also a singular woman." Smith laid his hand over hers without apparently meaning to or even being aware of the gesture, and yet it made Solace flush over her whole body, suddenly feeling far too warm for the room. She wanted to get up and open a window or something. She didn't dare move.
"Thank you," she breathed, then swallowed. It would definitely not go over at all well, either now or for the future, if she acted like she was flirting with him. Another deep breath. "The evening was lovely, lecherous and misbehaving hosts aside. I am glad you took me there and introduced me.. to Persephone, at least." The smile turned wry and a little sad, but no less genuine.
"I am..." Smith paused, an even longer moment this time while he struggled to find words to express himself. Solace would have sympathized if she'd dared reveal herself for what she was. It couldn't be easy to struggle with emotions after an existence spent so very long without them. "Glad..." it came out as almost a whisper, and then he, too, cleared his throat and tried to continue in a more normal tone. "I'm glad you enjoyed the evening... I had a very nice time, as well." It sounded so formulaic. Neither of them had any idea of what to say or how to cope.
"It's raining today," Solace blurted, inanely but desperate to change the subject. "We won't be able to go out unless you feel like getting wet again."
Smith made a face. "No thank you. I am not as fond of standing around in the rain as you are."
"it's dancing around in the rain," she corrected, latching onto the change of subject and grateful that he didn't even question her abruptness. "Or playing in the mud. And did anyone ever tell you you're as fastidious as a cat?"
"No..." Smith drawled. "I've never had the pleasure of being compared to any sort of animal, much less a cat."
"Well you are. Don't like the rain, don't like the mud. Don't like getting wet or dirty. I'm surprised you're willing to wander around in these," she tugged on his oversized sleeve. "I didn't figure you for a sweats and t-shirts sort of guy."
Smith shifted, a little uncomfortable ... well, very uncomfortable, really, with being out of his customary uniform. The uniform he had spent very nearly his entire existence wearing. "It didn't seem appropriate to continue wearing the standard of dress of... my organization." Some unidentifiable emotion, very like anger or anguish, crossed his face in a brief lack of control. It was gone before Solace could identify it.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, and looped her arm through his.
"It's all right." Smith murmured. "It's not your fault."
She had never seen Smith look, or even sound or act, so human. She had never seen any AI act so human as he was acting now. It terrified her, even with the consideration that Smith had been fully capable of the more violent human emotions long before she had ever encountered him. Vengeance, anger, hatred... they were all somehow more suited to a machine in her mind than this. Despite the fact that they could be some of humanity's strongest passions, she could cope more readily with a machine that hated than a machine that felt sorrow, or regret. She wasn't sure she could deal with a machine that seemed to need comfort as much as any human. And at the same time...
She moved a little closer, slid her other arm through his and draped her now-free arm over his shoulders, hugging him nervously, not sure what else to do. Smith froze for a split second, and there was that spasm of anger again (she was more sure it was anger this time), and then he leaned into her embrace and let his head rest on her shoulder. She wanted to scream when he did it, frightened out of her mind. But she just stayed very still. Taking comfort from a machine was one thing, giving it, especially so soon after the last one had tried to have sex with her in a ladies' bathroom...
"Things are changing," Smith murmured, so quietly that she almost missed it. "Many things are changing, very fast. Very fast."
"Things always change..." Solace whispered, closing her eyes and burying her face in his hair. He smelled of shampoo and conditioner, and she thought she could even identify the brand; Head and Shoulders. Such detail. Had he put the detail in or was it simply a holdover from the Agent program? And if it was a holdover, why would they have included such a detail that should never have come up in their interactions with the humans. And if it wasn't.. "Things always change, and usually faster than we would like them to." Things were certainly changing faster than she wanted.
"It is the way of things." His voice resonated pleasantly, his breath was warm against her neck. She wanted so badly to scream and run. "Entropy is the most powerful force in the universe."
"Things fall apart, the center cannot hold."
"Exactly."
Solace extricated her arm and hugged him, fearing that if she didn't she might actually run out the door. "Why such a depressing line of thought? I mean... I know it, and you know it, but why talk about it?"
"I don't know." He sounded angry at himself for not knowing. Angry because he was malfunctioning. Solace could empathize, and she'd never thought she could empathize with a machine.
"Let's talk about something else, then. Besides, change doesn't necessarily have to mean change for the worse. It could be a change for the better." Definitely Head and Shoulders. Did a computer program get dandruff? Little flakes of ones and zeroes? She closed her eyes, hard, against the mental image and tried not to laugh.
"Circumstances never change for the better." His tone had deepened, become more Agent-like, and as always Solace was startled to realize there was a difference.
"They can. You just have to have a little faith. A little hope." She was telling a computer to have faith. What the hell was wrong with her?
"I have very little faith in anything." It was probably true.
Solace pulled back, and Smith sat up with a look of surprise that seemed to indicate he hadn't quite realized the gravity of what he'd done till they were sitting apart again. She kept her hands at his shoulders though. "You have faith in me, don't you?" It was such a natural thing to say, under the circumstances. It would have been a natural thing to say if they had been a man and a woman in the very beginning stages of a relationship, perhaps before either of them had realized it, and they had gone through all of the hard times they pretended to have experienced. But they weren't. They were a machine and a human, a computer program and a woman. There was no beginning of any relationship, only an experiment being conducted in the hopes that alternative solutions to the total destruction of both their kind could be found. The knowledge put more despair and worry into her tone.
Smith stared at her, wide eyes more intensely shaded with blue and gray than any machine had a right to be. His arms were cold under her hands, as though the room temperature weren't perfectly even, and she could feel the edges of his t-shirt brushing against the tops of her fingers. Soft worn cotton that felt as though it had been through the washing machine and fabric softener routine for years, comfortably worn. It was almost more real than the waking world.
"Don't you?" she asked again, and suddenly wondered if she was about to cry. She blinked, just in case. No tears, not now, not for him, not ever.
"I suppose..." he dragged the words out. "I suppose that I do."
"Well, that's good then." Her voice sounded funny. She wanted her voice back. "Because I have faith in you too."
He looked almost as startled as she did to hear that. And that was it, she didn't want to have to look at his face, into his eyes, any more. She leaned forward and slid her hands down, wrapped her arms around his waist. He just sat there, astonished at them both. "Solace..."
"Just... hold me..." she murmured without meaning to or wanting to. She didn't want to confess any vulnerability to him, not now, not to him, not ever. But she also wanted to be held, and comforted. She wanted something familiar and safe, and for whatever reason that was him, Agent Smith, here and now. His arms closed around her with all the hesitation she felt, but tightly, as though once it was done it was certain. Solace closed her eyes and felt the warmth of his body under his soft, soft shirt. They didn't let go of each other for a very long time.