Disclaimer: Own nothing! Nada…zip, zilch. Wow, zilch is actually a word. Huh. Imagine that…
Chapter Six
Days after the fight between Alex and Raphael tension in the lair had escalated to unbearable. It was a record high for the turtles and they weren't exactly happy about it. Finally one dreary evening when rain fell from the skies in great sheets, pouring down through the sewer grates and filling the tunnels with the sounds of echoing splashes; when the thunder cracked loudly enough to be heard in the old subway station one individual, a born leader, decided to do something about it.
In the training dojo three of the four brothers sat, their shadows bouncing off the walls, thrown there by the flickering glow of several candles. Alex, the girl who had invaded their lives and hearts, was off at practice with Casey Jones as her personal escort for the evening. And Raphael was…well…no one really knew where he was.
"So what are we doing here Leo?" Michelangelo, his orange-masked brother asked an involuntary shudder seizing his body as thunder rolled loudly through the sewers.
"Yeah," Donatello threw in. "And why just me and Mikey?"
Leo cast an uneasy glance at the closed door then turned his attention to Michelangelo. "Mikey, you were there when Alex and Raph got into it right? Did you hear what they fought about?" he asked quietly.
"Not really, but-." He lowered his voice significantly and a pained expression crossed his face. "She called him a…a fucking hypocrite so that can't be good. Then there was more yelling."
"From him?"
"No," Mikey said, a smile playing at his lips. "From her. She didn't even let him get a word in. Told him he had his head stuck way too far up his ass."
Donnie was the first to recover from this startling bit of news. He snickered and Leo elbowed him lightly, also smiling. "As humorous as I find it that Raph got taken down a few levels, and by a girl no less, we still have to do something about this. Guys, she's distancing herself from us. She's shutting down and it's not right. It will only hurt her in the long run if we allow her to do this. We need to get her to open up again."
"I totally agree Leo. But how are we gonna do that?" Mikey asked, his expression now crestfallen, like a child that had just lost his best friend or favorite stuffed animal.
"I suggest my sons," a ragged voice spoke from the entrance, "that you extend an invitation to Alex to join you in weapons training this evening."
"Sensei." Leo bowed respectfully to the aged rat. His two brothers followed suit but with less enthusiasm and not as quickly. They did not disrespect their master. Far from it. They just weren't as eager to please as their older brother was.
"So, like, you want us to teach her how to fight? Chick with a sharp, pointy object." Mikey rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his thick fingers. "I dunno about that Master Splinter."
The rat's smile was slow and secretive as he faced his youngest son. "I trust you will all be pleasantly surprised by the knowledge this young woman possesses. There is much about her that you do not know."
The three turtles shared a confused look. "What do you mean Master?" Donnie asked.
"You shall see," Splinter replied enigmatically. "Now, your brother is home. Alex follows not far behind with Casey. You shall teach her. Show her what you feel she needs to know in order to protect herself from the danger that threatens her."
Leo took a step forward, an anxious look crossing his face. "Do you think this will help…bring her back to us?"
These few words, spoken with a hint of uncertainty, erased the smile from the rat's face. He drew a deep breath, releasing it very slowly as he closed his eyes and mentally reached out for Alex, searching through the muddled tangle of emotions and thoughts for an answer. It was futile. Her mind was too cluttered. It would tell him nothing and he could probe no further into her psyche without her noticing. Sighing, he opened his eyes. "That I cannot tell you Leonardo. But we can hope and have faith that this approach with break down the walls she has built. I will meditate now. Good luck my sons."
They bowed again and Splinter left them, his gnarled cane making a clack-clack-clack sound as it struck the concrete.
"Well," Michelangelo mused softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "This should be interesting."
*~*~*
Alex kept her head lowered, listening to the roll of thunder and the sound of her feet splashing in the rainwater that had formed a shallow river through the cavernous sewer tunnels. Her heart felt heavy, burdened by anger, pain and a deep sense of loss. She wished she could say that these feelings were new to her but they had been her constant companion ever since her fight with Raphael. She closed her eyes against the deep, heart wrenching pain as her angry words repeated themselves, tumbling over each other like verbal acid and echoing in her mind. God it hurt so much. Why hadn't they tried to talk it out?
You were both too angry and too proud. That's why.
Alex sighed deeply. She didn't try to doubt the words. Why try? They were true and she knew it.
"Hey kid, you okay?" Beside her Casey Jones placed a large hand on her shoulder, his dark blue eyes searching hers when she lifted her head to meet his gaze.
"I'm fine," she said a little too quickly. Her voice was high and tight and she knew it gave her away. She would need to be more convincing than that. Drawing from her inner actress she gave Casey a weary smile. "I'm just tired. Practice was a lot harder than I thought it would be."
"Yeah, but you did pretty damn good." Casey removed the hand from her arm and raked it though his hair, giving her a crooked grin in the process, his eyes sparkling like they always seemed to do when he was in a good mood. "I mean, the guys told me you had a great voice but I never knew you were that good!"
Alex blushed at his compliments, ducking her head and once again staring at the rippling river that stretched before them, murky and black…not so different from her current mood. Silence fell, broken only once by the grating of metal against flint as Casey lit a cigarette. When they reached the landing just above the short flight of steps leading into the lair, Casey flicked the butt of his cigarette back into the tunnel. It made a quite hissing noise, landing in a puddle of rain. "I'm going to leave ya here babe. Gotta get home to the old lady."
Alex nodded, clasping her hands in front of her. "I'll be okay. Thanks Casey."
He grinned and reached over to ruffle her hair affectionately. "Any time Alex. Take it easy."
She watched him leave and with another melancholy sigh turned and slowly made her way down the old cement steps. She wanted to go to her room where she could curl up and be alone with her emotions. No confrontations, no all night movie fests, just a bed and some silence. What she didn't expect was to encounter her four hosts the minute she rounded the corner and stepped into the living room. She came to an abrupt stop, stumbling slightly.
Leaning against the back of the couch was Leonardo and Donatello. Sitting in the over stuffed beside the couch was Michelangelo and standing in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb with an impassive look fixed on his face was Raphael. So much for going straight to her room. "Hi. Um…what's up guys?" she asked somewhat tentatively.
"Hey Alex. How was practice?" Leo spoke up, giving her a pleasant enough smile. Maybe a little too pleasant.
"Fine. What's going on?"
Leo and Donnie exchanged a look and Leo pushed off the couch, crossing the room to where she stood. "Alex, we would like it if you'd consider joining us for weapons training tonight. There's some things we could teach you so that, you know…you're prepared if anything should ever happen and we're not around to help."
Alex's crystalline eyes narrowed as she studied him. "You guys want me to train with you?"
"We would be honored."
She looked at Donnie and then Mikey careful to avoid direct eye contact with Raph. She was afraid that just looking at him would be enough to shatter her shaky resolve and she would end up a sobbing mess in front of all of them. Her gaze settled back on Leonardo and she nodded. "Okay. I'll join you."
She met them ten minutes later in the dojo wearing black work out sweats, white sneakers and a light lavender, form fitting tank top. "So what's the plan?" she asked, pulling her honey colored hair up in a ponytail as she walked up to Leo.
The blue masked turtle called out to Mikey and Don who were sparing in the center of the mats that covered the floor. The two stopped what they were doing and left the mats, leaving the floor open for Alex and Leo.
"Choose a weapon," Leo said, gesturing to a large open cabinet against the far wall that held various weapons, each considerably lethal looking. She cast an unsure glance at Leo who simply gave her an encouraging nod. "Go ahead. We can teach you how to use any one of them."
Crossing the floor to the weapons cabinet Alex quickly contained her excitement. She'd been watching them from the sidelines for a long time now, wishing she could join in and now they were letting her! But it had been so long. Could she even remember? Letting her eyes wander briefly over the vast selection she chose her weapon. A katana. The moment the hilt rested in the palm of her hand a smile curved her lips. Hello old friend, she thought wistfully.
"Alex?"
She turned to face Leo, hearing the unspoken question in his voice.
"You sure you want to use that?" he asked.
"You do," she stated simply, not understanding what the problem was.
"Yes but," he gave her a patient smile, "I know how to. Maybe you should start with something a little easier to handle, like the bo."
With a smirk Alex flicked her wrist, expertly spinning the blade at her side. She executed a few simple moves; mostly to test the weight of her weapon, to become familiar with it once again and then lowered it in front of her, both hands gripping the black handle. "Oh, I think I'll be okay Leo," she murmured, silently rejoicing when her "teachers" face registered complete shock. "I'm ready to learn now."
"I'm sure you are," Leo muttered dryly as he drew one of his own katanas and dropped into a fighting stance, beckoning her forward.
She waited for him to make the first move, her eyes alert, her body stiff and prepared for any sudden movement she would have to make. When he came at her she was ready for it. Her foot slid back to brace her for the impact and their weapons met with a loud clang, metal crashing against metal. Alex's eyes narrowed as she regarded her opponent, sizing him up. "Don't take it easy on me just because I'm a woman Leo," she said softly.
He blinked once, taken aback and then smiled at her. "Sorry Alex. I'm not used to training with females."
"Just don't let it happen again," she teased with a fleeting smile. She knew he was going to attack her again and anticipated the strength that would accompany that attack. She knew Leo well enough to understand how important it was to him that he honored the request of a friend.
"Ready?" he asked.
She nodded and he sprang forward. Again their weapons met, the metallic clash reverberating off the stone walls of the enclosed dojo. Leo grimaced and tried a different angle but Alex saw what he was attempting and once again easily deflected his attack. It went on like this for several minutes, Leo quickly and efficiently switching tactics in hopes of throwing Alex off and Alex easily blocking each attack, her bright eyes ever watchful of his movements. They were swift and fluid, reminding him of the mornings they would do their katas together. But why wasn't she making any moves on him? She was excellent with the katana, far better then he would have even guessed. She obviously knew what she was doing. So why didn't she try to attack him?
Sweat dotted Alex's forehead and upper lip as she watched Leo carefully, noting the quick flash of confusion in his eyes. She fought the urge to grin, maneuvering her blade around his and slipping the tip of her katana between his hand and the small disk that separated the handle from the blade. A simple twist and yank and her opponent was disarmed, his katana falling harmlessly from to the ground beside them.
Leo made a sound that was half shock, half amazement. "What? How-?"
"When I was younger the katana was my favorite weapon. So I was taught how to properly use it. The training was nothing big though. Just several techniques on how to block and disarm your opponent."
"So where did you learn all of that stuff?" Mikey asked from the sidelines where he and his brothers had been standing, watching Alex and Leo in quiet astonishment.
Alex turned her head but didn't look at Mikey. Her eyes clouded over, focusing on nothing as echoing commands from the past filled her head. They were deafening. They were so loud and she hated them. She hated all of it. A picture of a man cloaked in black, standing over the crumpled body of a young boy swam in her mind. She could hear the man shouting, his thick accented voice demanding the half conscious boy to stand. All around them students, people she had never gotten to know, stood, terrified eyes staring at the ground, afraid to see the boys punishment for not immediately obeying yet knowing that if they chose to turn away they would receive their own punishment and it may just be worse.
"Alex." Leo shook her gently.
She lifted her bleary, unfocused gaze to the mutant turtle before her.
"You don't have to tell us anything," he reassured her softly.
"I know." Straightening her shoulder is a show of false bravado she forced the morbid thoughts from her mind and gave Leo a lop-sided grin. "Did I surprise you?"
He returned her grin, slipping his weapon into the holder at his back. "Honestly? Yeah, you did. You said you were only taught to defend yourself and disarm your enemy. Why weren't you taught anything else like basic attack moves?"
Although the smile remained on her face, her eyes became hard, flashing like cold blue diamonds. "I didn't want to be taught. I had no stomach for killing or seriously hurting someone."
"And what if you had to?"
Alex whipped around at the sound of Raphael's voice behind her. He looked as arrogant as ever, standing there with his muscular arms crossed over his chest, a cynical smile twisting his lips. There was a challenge burning in his eyes. He was daring her to fight him.
So this was how it was going to be? Instead of talking like two civilized adults he wanted to fight. She sighed softly, knowing deep down that she should have seen this coming a mile away. All around her she could feel nothing but apprehension. Thick enough to cut with a damn knife, she thought. Leo, Donnie and Mikey waited with their eyes fixed on Raph, waiting to see what he would do but not stopping him. And Alex knew why. They wanted her to learn. They wanted her to be able to fight back, to take care of herself. And who better to teach her then Mr. I'm-too-brutal-for-my-own-good Raphael?
With renewed determination Alex gripped the handle of her katana. "Alright then," she whispered, wishing she could hate his guts right now. He damn well deserved her hate…yet she couldn't manage to give it to him. "Let's at least make this fair," she said and held her hand out next to her, palm up. "Leonardo?"
The weight of another katana, this one only slightly heavier then the one she already held, fell into her open palm. She wanted to say something big, something they would say in movies at a time like this like "bring it on asshole," or something along those lines but she had a feeling that taunting the beast wouldn't be the greatest of ideas. And as it turned out she wouldn't have had time for witty one-liners even if she had thought of a good one. The moment she had her second weapon ready he was on her.
Swallowing a startled gasp she countered his attack, bringing her weapons up quickly and catching his sais mere inches from her face. The guy was insane! What had she gotten herself into?
"Gotta be quicker then that," he growled, pushing her back, forcing her to her knees. Alex relaxed her arms, allowing his weapons to draw closer to her face. The action caught Raph off guard and just as she had expected him to, he pulled back to avoid hurting her.
Anger coursing through her veins, drowning out any emotional pain she felt from his unexpected attack, Alex pushed her shoulders back and glared at Raph, letting him see how much she disliked him at that moment. "It's not good to have emotional attachments to your enemy. It complicates things," she said, not giving a damn if she pissed him off. There was no way he could be angrier then she was right now. She was practically swimming in her rage, doing the backstroke through a thick sticky sea of fury.
He came at her again, a little harder this time. What she had said had struck a vein. Maybe an artery. She caught his sai with her katana, twisting it and forcing him to back off. He brought down the other one. This too was caught, just as easily but he had the advantage and he knew it. "Too clumsy Alex," he said and started pushing down again, just like last time, forcing her towards the floor.
Alex didn't attempt to go limp again. He was probably expecting that. Instead she fought back, pushing against him, her arms trembling with exertion. The floor came an inch closer and Alex frantically thought for a way out. God, what was it that always got Mikey out of this situation? What move? What was it that she had seen him pull so many times? OH! Alex suddenly jerked to the side, ducking under Raph's arm and pulling her weapons free of his. She hastily dropped one katana, planting her hand on the back of his shell and giving him a hard shove. He recovered and whirled around to face her, anger clearly written on his face. "Too slow Raphael," she muttered, daring to smirk at him.
What happened next happened so quickly that Alex had no time to react. Raph leapt at her, bringing his foot up in front of him. It connected solidly with her shoulder and sent her flying backwards. She landed hard against the mats, the air leaving her lungs in a sudden rush, her elbow throbbing. She rolled over to her stomach, gasping for air. Why did he do that? What the hell was wrong with him?!
Fighting to control her emotions, she pushed up to all fours and searched the room for Leo. He stood in the corner talking quietly to Don and Mike. Had none of them even seen that? They must not have or they would be trying to stop Raph right about now. Her eyes came to rest on the katana she had dropped in mid flight and she scrambled for it, not wasting a second to see where her enemy was. Surely she would find out soon enough. Once she had the weapon in her hands she sprang to her feet and whipped around. He was standing there, waiting for her. Well your wait's over jerk, she though viciously, wanting to hurt him more than anything.
"You're insane, you know that?" she growled at him, her voice shaking uncontrollably. "A freakin' head case."
He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. Actions spoke louder then words. He lunged at her again and she did the only thing she could do, she blocked him, going down on one knee and bringing the katana over her head, catching Raph's sais as they came for her. Only after the ominous hiss of clashing metal had subsided did she look up and only then did she fully realize what she was up against. She stared into Raph's eyes. Raph's dark, vacant eyes. Terror seized her in its icy grip. This wasn't Raphael. Something had happened, something bad. Something that had driven away his reasoning, his sense and replaced it with a hideous, bloodthirsty beast. And that beast wanted her. It wanted her dead.
Truly afraid now, Alex dislodged her weapon from his and staggered backwards, trying to get as far away from him as possible before he did her some real harm. With a sadistic smile he stalked her, waiting for his moment, watching her, wanting her.
"Raphael, please stop," she begged. But he didn't. He came at her again and she fought him, hysterical tears welling up in her eyes. Every blow became harder to deflect, each of them becoming more brutal. Her legs started to tremble in their efforts to hold her up under his vicious onslaught and her arms were well on their way to giving out completely. Yet she fought on, knowing it was the only thing keeping her alive. She twisted to get away from him and his elbow came down hard on her shoulder, the same one he had kicked before. She went down with a loud cry.
Across the room Leo's head snapped up and he stared in horror at his brother who now loomed above a very battered and scared looking Alex. He reacted quickly, drawing his katanas as he ran to Alex and Raph. His brother had snapped again. It had been so long since the last time he had done this…so long that they had stopped worrying about his sudden bouts of uncontrollable anger. How stupid of them.
"Leo! What happened?!" Mike shouted, a note of panic lacing his voice.
"He lost it again, Mikey. Hurry guys! I'm going to need your help."
Alex heard Leo's approach from her prone position on the floor but it did nothing to calm her. The way things were looking right now it was going to take more than just the other three to stop the thing that now inhabited Raphael. She stared up at him with terror filled eyes, tears streaking down her flushed, sweaty cheeks. "Raph. It's me, Alex. Please don't do this," she cried.
The cold metal of his sai touched her cheek and she jumped, a strangled cry escaping her lips. "Leo, do something!" she screamed.
Hands appeared over Raph's shoulders and started dragging him back. He fought, the crazed animal that had taken him over intent on getting what it wanted. In a final effort he swung his sai down and caught her in the chin, scraping the delicate skin and leaving a red welt upon her jawbone.
"Raph that's enough!" Leo shouted, yanking the red masked turtle back and throwing him against Don who held the raging turtle fast as Leo doubled up his fist and sent it flying into Raph's face.
The sucker punch was just what was needed to bring Raph back to his normal self. His hand instantly lifted to his face, settling on the spot Leonardo had struck. "Jesus Leo, what the fuck was that for?" he yelled, jerking free of Don's hold and glaring at his oldest brother.
"You lost it again," Leo said through clenched teeth, looking very much like he wanted to strike Raph again.
"Lost it? What the hell do you mean I-." His voice drifted away as the sound of gentle sobbing penetrated his foggy senses. Dread welling up inside of him at an alarming rate, Raph turned his head and stared down. Alex was curled up in the fetal position on the mats, holding her jaw with a shaking hand. Slowly, she pushed herself up and stared at him with frightened, accusing eyes. "Oh no…Alex," he tried to say something, anything but the words wouldn't come. What had he done? He watched her stagger to her feet and run for the door, throwing it open and disappearing.
Mike took a few steps after her and turned on his brother, his dark chocolate eyes which were normally so cheerful staring at Raph with smoldering anger. "I'm going to go help Alex. Don't you dare get near her until I'm done talking to her, you got that?" he asked, speaking to Raph as if he were a stranger.
"Yeah Mikey," he whispered hoarsely, "Yeah. I got it." He had to get it. There was nothing else he could do.
*~*~*
With a first aid kit hanging in his loose grip, Michelangelo apprehensively approached Alex's bedroom door, unsure of what to expect. Raph had been completely out of line and had terrified the hell out of Alex, but how badly? Hopefully not enough to cause her to pull even further away from them. God, he hoped it hadn't come to that. He missed Alex. He missed talking to her and hearing her laugh and vegging out with her but most of all he missed her constant light-hearted teasing. Damn Raph anyway. The guy had the worst timing!
Knocking lightly on the door he waited for Alex to answer. When she didn't he tried the knob and, finding it unlocked, pushed the door open, stepping into the sparsely lit room. Alex was huddled in the far corner of her bed next to the wall. Her knees she had drawn to her chest and was now holding them as if her very life depended on not letting go. Broken sobs tore from her throat, sending her body into violent tremors.
Wordlessly he approached the bed and sat down in front of her. As carefully as he could, hoping he wouldn't scare her even more, he reached over and gently laid a hand on her arm. "Lift your head Alex," he commanded in a soft voice, like one a mother would use on her children after they had just suffered a scraped knee. She did as he asked, although it seemed to take a great amount of effort. 'Probably doesn't want anyone to see her like this,' he thought as his heart twisted painfully at the sight of her. Her eyes, once a vibrant hue of the most gorgeous blue he'd had the privilege of seeing were now red rimmed from the tears she had cried and filled with more pain then he had even known existed. Her cheeks were a raw color of red, streaked with tears that had slid down her face and mingled with the blood from her newest wound. It wasn't horrible. Just a knick really, something that would heal quickly and hopefully not leave a scar. God knew she had enough of those already.
He lifted his hand to her chin, examining the damage as he tilted her head slightly to the side. "Mind if I clean this up for you?"
She slowly shook her head. Her legs went down, folding in front of her and she sat quietly, her eyes never leaving him. Mike opened the kit he had brought with him and pulled out a bottle of peroxide and a few cotton swabs.
"You know, this isn't the first time he's done this," he started conversationally as he began cleaning the fresh cut. He glanced up, looking and hoping for a reaction. Nothing. He continued cleaning. "I remember the first time it happened. Five years ago. I was on the receiving end of that one. We were just arguing over the remote like usual and of course it turned into a huge fight. Always does with Raph. I must have said something because one second he was Raph and the next…I didn't even know who he was but I knew he wanted to kill me. I could see it in his eyes. I don't think I've ever been as scared as I was that day in my entire life. Took Leo, Don and Casey just to pull him off and Sensei was the only one who could bring him back.
"When he was Raph again it took him a while before he even realized what had happened. Then he freaked out…muttered a bunch of stuff none of us were able to make out and left. Didn't come back for a week. When he did come home we all just let it slide, figuring he had punished himself enough, you know?" Mike finished cleaning her wound and tossed the cotton swab into a small wastebasket beside the bed. "Since then it's only happened a few times and they were never as bad as they had been the first time. I think that once he knew what was happening he started to fight back…or at least tried to. You know what else I think?"
"What?" Alex asked breathlessly, the light finally coming back into her tear free eyes.
He took her hand in his, giving it a small squeeze and smiling sadly. "I don't think it scares anyone as much as it scares him." He released Alex's hand and stood up wanting to leave her alone so that she could think about the story he had just told. He had done all he could do to make things right. The rest was up to Alex and Raphael now. "I'm going to go see what's up with Leo. I'll see you later, okay?"
Alex only nodded as she stared straight ahead, her brow knit in concentration. Michelangelo smiled and opened the door to let himself out. The girl was already thinking. That was a good sign. At least he hoped it was.
Once the door was shut and she was alone again Alex released a ragged sigh and combed trembling fingers through her hair. She was still trying to take in the horrible reality of Michelangelo's story. God, poor Raph. She had no idea something so frighteningly terrible could happen to someone so strong. And she believed the part about him not knowing it was happening. The way he had looked at her after Leonardo had hit him…he looked so…scared.
Suddenly Alex knew what had to be done. This all had to stop. The silent treatments, the misunderstandings, the fighting…it all had to stop. And if Raphael couldn't swallow his stubborn pride then she would. What good was it doing her anyway? If anything it was only keeping her from the one thing she truly wanted.
Getting to her feet she walked on stiff legs to the full-length mirror and studied her reflection with a critical eye. She looked like…well, crap. Scrubbing at her tear stained cheeks with the palm of her hand she noted with mild amusement the bruise that had started to form where Raph had kicked her. Already it was taking on a dark shade of purple. It was going to be a beaut, a bruise to be proud of that was for sure. She was going to use that bruise to guilt trip him into doing stuff for her if they ever made it through this. A smile, a true radiant smile, her first in at least a week, brightened her face and after a quick fix of her hair she left her room and her pride behind her as she crossed the hallway to Raph's room.
The door was cracked open, spilling a thin beam of light into the dark hallway. Alex placed her hand on the door, took a fortifying breath, and pushed it open only wide enough so that she could slip in and close it behind her. Her heart slammed painfully against her ribs when her eyes found Raphael sitting on the edge of his bed, his elbows resting on his knees and oddly enough, a rubix cube held between his hands.
That's something Don should be doing, she thought, feeling a sudden urge to laugh. Calming herself took yet another deep breath and said, "Hey."
He didn't respond. He didn't even move. It looked as if she was the one in control right now. The ball was in her court. She walked up to the bed and sat down beside him, joining him in looking at the brightly colored cube in his hands. She found it much easier to think clearly about what she was going to say when she was focusing on something other than him and how close he was at that moment.
"Raphael, I'm not mad at you," she murmured after several minutes of silence. "I understand what happened and I know you weren't really…in control. I just wanted you to know that I'm not angry."
Releasing a humorless laugh, Raph tossed the cube carelessly onto his bedside table where it clattered loudly against the warped wood and into an old alarm clock that read 11:13 pm. "I almost killed you and you're not angry? No offense, but that doesn't exactly make me feel better. Why are you really here?" he asked, forcing a biting anger into his voice. "What do you want Alex?"
She knew he wasn't mad. She'd been told enough to have him pretty much figured out by know and could tell that he was faking it. He was probably trying to scare her off. Too bad it wasn't going to work this time. "It's not about what I want anymore Raph," she said softly, lying her hand over his where it rested on the bed between them. He looked down at her hand and then up at her, his dark eyes meeting and holding hers. The vivid blue depths softened as she stared at him and her full lips curved up in a shy smile. "I know what I want. This is about you dropping the attitude so we can be together."
Her words were like a bucket of ice water being thrown in his face. He couldn't have heard her right, could he? Watching for some sign that she was just messing with him he was even more surprised when her luminous eyes filled with tears and the smile vanished from her face.
"I don't want us to fight anymore," she murmured with unmistakable sincerity. "I'm tired of fighting and I'm…I'm tired of not being able to talk to you." She looked away for a moment, gathering her courage, forming it into an impenetrable ball within her and hoping she would be strong enough to withstand any kind of rejection if it was to come her way. When she felt ready enough she faced him once more. "I like you Raphael and not in the way I like your brothers. There's something more to it then that and maybe…maybe I'm the only one who feels it but I am sick and tired of acting like I don't."
The immediate response to her heartfelt confession was silence and for one horrible moment Alex felt as if she were going to be sick. Raph dropped his gaze to the floor between his feet, muttering something unintelligible under his breath.
"What?" Alex asked softly. She was afraid beyond reason now. She wanted to get closer to him, to touch him, to make him look at her again so that she could look into his gorgeous dark eyes and maybe see what he was thinking. And at the same time she wanted to run before he could do any real damage.
Finally he spoke and although his voice was low she could hear every word. "There wasn't another woman ya know. It was just some desperate lady who slipped her number in my pocket before she left the bar." Slowly he looked up at her, his eyes no longer clouded over with emotions that hid what he was truly feeling. "And there's probably never gonna be another woman," he lifted a hand, cradling the unhurt side of her jaw in his palm, "because you're not the only one who feels like that Alex."
She smiled tremulously. "R-really?"
"Yeah."
"I was really hoping you'd say that," she whispered, pressing a tender kiss into the palm of his hand.
He started to return her smile when he caught sight of the mark he had left upon her jaw. He sobered immediately. "I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't know-."
Alex placed her fingertips over his mouth and shook her head. "Over and done with. But…if you really want to make it up to me," she dropped her hand from his mouth and curled it around his neck as a sensual light turned her eyes from a bright sparkling blue to a smoldering azure. "I could think of one thing that would make it better."
"Oh yeah? And what's that?" he asked, wrapping a strong arm around her waist.
He didn't actually need to be told and Alex knew that. She pulled him down and pressed her lips to his in a hungry kiss that she had denied herself for far too long. Much to her delight Raph was just as impatient and demanding at kissing as he was at fighting. His hand moved to the nape of her neck, drawing her head back and forcing her to open her mouth to an even deeper kiss. She did so with pleasure, pressing against him and moaning softly, her heart fluttering madly in her chest. He tasted so good. His kiss was hot and greedy and beyond passionate, claiming her, causing her to respond just as ardently, as if her very life depended on never taking her lips from his. A second later she felt herself being turned and pressed back against the soft bedspread, felt his weight upon her and welcomed it, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.
Finally, once things had started to get slightly intense and out of hand they broke apart, gasping for breath and holding each other.
"Damn," Raph muttered with a breathless chuckle.
Alex, stretching beneath him with a delighted purr, smiled and rubbed his leg with her foot. "Not exactly what I was thinking, but it'll work," she said.
Raph moved off of Alex and lay down on his side, pulling her close. She snuggled into him, her hand resting on his chest, the other trapped between their bodies. "Stay here tonight," he said, his voice a harsh whisper in the silence of the room.
Alex nodded and placed a soft kiss against his neck. Now that things were good between her and Raph once more she started to feel just how much the days events had taken their toll on her. She was far beyond drowsy and could already feel herself slipping into the sweet unconsciousness of sleep. "I'll stay," she murmured on a yawn.
Waiting until her breath had evened out Raphael smiled, turned off the bedside lamp and pulled a blanket over them. So this is what it felt like to be really, truly content. Not bad, he admitted to himself as he started to fall asleep. Not bad at all.