Rayman: Hands and Feet Scramble– Chapter 2
Characters created by Michel Ancel
Written by Andrew Kaiko
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.
Chapter 2
He felt as though all commotion in the background had ceased to exist. Rayman, accustomed to seeing foreign invaders, could just as easily have snapped into a defense position and shouted him to back off. But this time, he couldn't even lift his foot. Staring for an indeterminate amount of time, and with a perplexed and wandering gaze, he finally took up the curiosity to wander slowly closer to the alien.
The creature must've scared away the animals, he thought. The forest seems more still than before.
But the morning sun shown through the trees on this clear day, and made clear the queer shape of this form sitting in the middle of a clearing, surrounded by trees. Rayman's first inclination was that this was a gray centaur, but as he got closer, he made a slight face at it. Yes, indeed, it had all the qualities of a centaur- a human-like upper body attached at the waist to a horse's body with four legs and a tail. However, the surface was not fur, but somewhere between skin and scales, and had more of a sky bluish gray color. The upper parts of his arms and legs got wider as they neared the ends, making his fingers and toes appear monstrously thick! A thin neck supported a spherical head, the bottom half forming two eyes and a mouth, currently hidden in his two hands.
But... what set this creature apart from any other centaur, were two things. Two rabbit-like ears extended upward from his head, each ending in what looked like a fist! Never had he seen two long "ears" end in hands before! The other thing was that the tail also ended in one hand as well, a hand twice as large as the ones covering his eyes! A long, thin, floppy tail with a bulbous hand, WITH A THUMB ON EACH SIDE, that also appeared to be fisted just like his ear-hands were.
What astonished Rayman the most was the fact that all these formations made this creature mysteriously cute- his skin shiny from the sunlight. At the moment he was collapsed onto the ground, his face covered in his palms and crying, which only made him more approachable. Rayman noticed a broken stick laying a ways from the creature, and he assumed that it must've been his weapon. Perhaps he was crying because he was lost on a strange planet with no weapon and no food.
The pity overcame him at last, and Rayman was now walking at his normal pace toward the creature with no hesitation at all, and only a willingness to help. He could hear that the "centaur" was indeed sobbing, and didn't even notice Rayman standing to his right, his white hands folded on his back.
"Hey. What's the matter?"
As if put out of a trance, the creature's head whip lashed itself alarmed, gasped, and he galloped toward the dense forest!
"NO! WAIT! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HARM YOU! I COME HERE IN PEACE! PLEASE, STOP!"
The "centaur" fortunately stopped in his tracks before he could disappear into the growth, but huddled himself against a tree trunk, giving the limbless stranger a watchful eye. He was breathing heavily, but managed to get some words out. "Wh- what are you?! What do you want?!" His voice sounded like a twelve-year-old's, but its manner made him sound like an adult.
Rayman tried to calm him down, his two hands slowly dropping in front. "I saw you here, and wanted to know what you were crying about. Are you lost? Is that your weapon?"
This didn't console him one bit. "I am not telling you anything until you tell ME YOUR business!"
Rayman thought, he's an uptight little rascal! "I am Rayman of Neotopia, the planet that you are now on. It is my nature to help those in need, even when they are complete alien strangers! I do know how to fight, but only to the intentionally bad kind! But you do not look bad, so I want to help you! I've helped countless aliens before, and you can rest assured I can help you."
The "centaur's" pose didn't relax, but he replied, "I am Boble. I am a Lapitaur, but I fear my planet is now obliterated from existence! I highly doubt you can do anything about it- such a short, goofy-looking thing like you!" He was on the verge of crying again.
Rayman was now more surprised than before. His entire planet gone? "Goofy- looking"? Had he not heard of his heroic deeds? "Wow," he said. "I am both sympathetic... and offended... by your remark..."
"AAAAGH! DON'T YOU DARE PUNCH ME!"
"Wha'?! WHA'?! All I did was say I was offended—"
"(GASP!) Your hand! It... it...MOVED!"
"Woah. A'kay. You. Need to calm down. We'll take this one step at a time. Move... away... from the tree....THAAAAAT'S good. Now. Take a deep breath..."
The Lapitaur named Boble raised his right hand. "Forgive me... Rayman. I- I've never been so sad in my life, that's all..."
"'That's ALL'?! Boble, I know, being a WITNESS, how it feels to have your entire planet completely gone! It is NOT something you would call,... 'that's all'!" Rayman took his hands. "I feel your pain... having your entire life taken away from you. You probably don't know if your family is even alive, do you?"
Boble's cavalier behavior deflated like Globox right after a bean meal. His head fell limp, and his shaky voice said, "I might as well die right here. No one can mend the sights I've seen on my planet. No one will listen to me."
"If you listen to me, I can get you through this. Come on! We can find evidence of your planet and try to find a way to save, and maybe even rebuild, your race! Why, with these five arms and four legs, it should be a sintch!"
The moment shifted from deep remorse to physical panic! Whatever Rayman said, it sent Boble on a whirlwind of screaming and flaring all nine of his arms and legs in the air, and he cut away from his grasp and fled into the woods!
-----
"Okay, Globox! Rayman was last seen right here where the finish line used to be. And you have NO IDEA where he must've gone?"
"With Rayman, you can never tell."
"Hum. Well, we mustn't loose hope! I GOTTA' tell him about my wonderful nomination for the Best Comic Sidekick/Guide for Adventurous Heroes Award at the Annual Video Game Character Awards Show!"
"Hey! I'm nominated too, remember?!"
"Oh, right. That. But all joking aside, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! It says here on the sheet that the Annual Video Game Character Awards Show is at the END of this week! That's in four days! I can't get ready to go without him! Now, come on! I have to spread MY wonderful NEWS!"
"Sigh..."
-----
Splosh! Splosh! Splosh! Splosh again! His sneakers were getting dirty from the mud. Boble ran off as if a ghost chicken was chasing it, not Rayman! Rayman was so used to avoiding obstacle after obstacle that he spent his concentration trying to crack this guy's logic. Why doesn't he trust me?! What did I say to send him flipping out and running off like this?! It should only be a matter of time until I catch up to him and stop him in his tracks- then, he won't be able to do anything but tell me the truth! If he wants me to use force, I'll show him force!
Sure enough, after five more minutes, he was able to pin him against a huge turquoise rock, and with a bang, Boble could only wiggle in the hard, gripping position Rayman had caged him in. "Okay, Boble Boy! You chose to play it rough- I can play rough too! Tell me just HOW you got here! NOW!"
"No! There is no way a little runt like you can make me feel better about this!"
Rayman's mood changed in a snap. "Oh, yeah? Well, watch this!" He put his index fingers in the sides of his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and went, "BLAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAAAA!"
Boble just stood there, stone-faced and and passively put-off.
"What, don't think that's funny? I didn't make you feel better?"
Still stone-faced.
"You're right, that's too juvenile. You're a BIG boy. I need to try harder. Um..." He disconnected himself, and reconnected them in a distorted mixture, like Mr. Potato Head. "Hah?"
Stone-face.
"Haha, uh... no..." He reconnected himself back properly, and then wound up for a punch targeted at a random spot to his left. BLAM! It ricocheted several times off several trees, and landed inside his mouth, and out his ear!
Stone-face.
"Great, now I just wasted valuable energy, AND my right hand is covered in Rayman Saliva! You just have SOOOO much self-control, don't you?! To make the best out of a situation like this, the last thing you gotta' do is FLIP OUT!!!!" The last word echoed through the woods. "Forget I did that. Do you even have a sense of humor?!"
Boble didn't flinch, even when two equally amusing sidekicks finally spotted Rayman behind his back and ran toward him. "Rayman! Rayman! There you are! I heard you scream 'Flip out!', so we did and found you! I got GREAT ne—oh, company."
Murfy and Globox stared at Boble as if staring at black bananas. Boble's eyebrows narrowed even more.
Rayman faced Murfy and said, "Guys. This Lapitaur just witnessed his world be destroyed by an unknown force, and is here to get help. But everyone knows that before you attempt to face adversity, you MUST ease yourself. So let's make him feel better with some classic Humor 101!"
Murfy rose to his feet and said, "I'll do it!"
Globox cut in. "No, no! I'll do it! I'm the better sidekick!"
"NO! I'M the better sidekick!"
"NO, I AM!"
"I AAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM-Muh!"
Rayman was now just as confused as Boble. "Hey, hey. Since when did the concept of 'better sidekick' become an issue?"
But they weren't listening. They were too busy fighting each other until they took it outside the hearing range of the other two. Rayman just jerked his head to himself, wondering what just happened.
Stone-face, with mouth talking. "Are you some sort of bulb-nosed freak, with two slapstick sidekicks, put on this ground for clownish amusement?"
"I asked you first! Besides, as if you haven't heard, I actually DID save this planet as WELL as saving my friends, innocent citizens and helpless children from selfish lowlives who only thought about themselves! I am intergalactically famous! You've never heard of me?!"
Stone-face, with mouth talking. "As far as I can see, your only reason to exist is to amuse others. The proof lies in your very body structure! Big nose, goofy eyes, big hands, big, round sneakers, you run up and down constantly like some demented cartoon character—not only can you not help me, but you can't even make me FEEL better! Good day to you, Sir." And keep in mind this was coming from a twelve-year-old!
Rayman just stood there. This creature, which was obviously upset and worried about his parents and his people, would rather die than save them, which he obviously showed the willingness and ability to do?! What a stiff! "FINE! Go die and throw away a perfectly good opportunity to save your planet and your parents, who must've risked their lives to save you!"
"How did YOU know that?!" Boble answered from a distance.
"It's very likely! That ALWAYS happens at dramatic separations! But if this is the path you've chosen, then GOOD DAY!" He equally thrust himself to face the opposite direction, and stomped the way he came from, following the footsteps in the mud.
-----
We have Rayman who just turned his back on Boble, and Globox and Murfy duking it out somewhere else. In another part of the forest, where the sun doesn't shine so hot, yet a third story took place.
A thumping noise scared a group of tropical lizards trying to keep wet. The thumping sounded like footsteps, and that's probably because they WERE footsteps, thank you very much! Two pairs of heavy footstepage smashed one bush after another. Out of the dense clump of trees landed an orange, thick shoe connected to an orange, thick leg! Soon the strangers revealed themselves.
They were built like body-builders, but dressed semi-elegantly- definitely not expecting any tropical forest temperature! The expensive shoes were all covered in mud, and one of the identical strangers, looking under his shoe, was disgusted.
"Oh no ! Monsieur Vente, I vill NEVER get zis soot off of me !"
"Au contraire, Monsieur Achat ! Soon, vee vill be out of the filthy forests of zis unknown planETTE, and collecting more precious and rare specimens ! Now, FORWARD—OOF !"
Vente tripped and soon his faded orange body was in the mud. Achat was laughing!
"What are you laughing at ?! Moi ? You fell just a moment ago !"
"Oui, but unlike you, I like to get as MANY different types of coats, so if I get one dirty, I just replace it with a new one !" Achat had a smug expression on his pointy face.
"Oh ya ?" said Vente. "Why do you always get SOOO many things, Achat ?!"
"Why do you always get so little, Vente?"
"Because, I like to SAVE! To conserve! To recycle! Saving is vot makes a proper merchant 'prospieur' !"
"Vell, you're wrong ! I never got away with anything if I never had EVERY single part of a collection, OR anything else ! Material substance is vot makes an assistant prosper, VENTE ! "
"NO, it is saving !"
"BUYING !"
"SAVING !"
"BUYING ! In fact, that coat you are wearing would look great on me ! I shall make a price for 50 pounds for it !"
"50 pounds ?! It's the exact same as yours ! Plus, it's covered in DIRT ! "
"I charge extra for zee dry-cleaning—vot vas that?"
There was a shuffle a little ways from their area. They both stopped their argument and darted their heads to and fro, trying to look for anything that moved. It was Achat who first broke the silence to say, "Vait ! It's coming from over there !" He pointed to a direction, and together, they spotted Rayman, still upset from his encounter, storming back to where he came from.
Their jaws dropped! Finally, another creature who's hands, feet and head were not connected by any limbs!
"SHHH ! Do not make a sound. Vee vouldn't vant the puny thing to be scared and run a—"
CRASH!! Rayman's fist shot a hole through the thickets right over their heads! "WHO GOES THERE?! I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU! I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO CAPTURE ME, AND IF YOU GET CLOSER, YOU'RE IN FOR A WALLOP!"
"... and... run... away... helplessly."
They exchanged blank glances, screamed, and "ran away helplessly"!
"Oh, Dear Achat ! En all my years of planETTE scouting, ah' have NEVIERE my life vitnessed a limbless being with so much powieur !"
"But vee MUST get it somehow, Vente ! Those hands ! Those feet ! That head ! They could be veeeery valuable indeed !"
"Vait ! M-M-Maybe vee don't have to get that one ! Other limbless beings must live here also !"
Achat, his expression usually comical and amusing, even when taking up his charismatic ways, turned serious. His wiry grin disappeared, and to anyone's surprise who looked at him at that moment, he could send chills up their spines. "NO, Vente ! Vee must get THAT one ! For he is, how you say, veeeery special, and if vee are able to collect his parts, disconnect them, and PARALYZE them, then vee vill gain loads and loads of MONEY !" They were still running as fast as they could, but Achat was keeping his voice slow and cool. "Vee are no match for hiz powieurs, but once he is in a vulnerable state, vee vill take the chance ."
Vente was shaking, but seemed to be oblivious to Achat's sudden mood change. "Ooo ! Ooo ! And then, vee vill send him to... MADAM !"
"NO, YEUW PITIFIEL MINK ! We take him to Madam first, THEN paralyze him! SHE OWNS ALL THE CAPTIES ! RIGHT ?"
"Oh, yes. Exactly. Hee hehe he HEE HEE HEHE HE – MWAHAHAHAHAW !"
"Shut up, or I'll push yew intew a tree FOR yeuw!"
(to be continued...)
Characters created by Michel Ancel
Written by Andrew Kaiko
I am of no relation to the production or post-production team, and so, I do not own the characters and all related subjects. Rayman is © 2002 Ubi Soft Entertainment. The character of Rayman and all other characters and subjects are all trademarks of Ubi Soft Entertainment. All rights reserved.
Chapter 2
He felt as though all commotion in the background had ceased to exist. Rayman, accustomed to seeing foreign invaders, could just as easily have snapped into a defense position and shouted him to back off. But this time, he couldn't even lift his foot. Staring for an indeterminate amount of time, and with a perplexed and wandering gaze, he finally took up the curiosity to wander slowly closer to the alien.
The creature must've scared away the animals, he thought. The forest seems more still than before.
But the morning sun shown through the trees on this clear day, and made clear the queer shape of this form sitting in the middle of a clearing, surrounded by trees. Rayman's first inclination was that this was a gray centaur, but as he got closer, he made a slight face at it. Yes, indeed, it had all the qualities of a centaur- a human-like upper body attached at the waist to a horse's body with four legs and a tail. However, the surface was not fur, but somewhere between skin and scales, and had more of a sky bluish gray color. The upper parts of his arms and legs got wider as they neared the ends, making his fingers and toes appear monstrously thick! A thin neck supported a spherical head, the bottom half forming two eyes and a mouth, currently hidden in his two hands.
But... what set this creature apart from any other centaur, were two things. Two rabbit-like ears extended upward from his head, each ending in what looked like a fist! Never had he seen two long "ears" end in hands before! The other thing was that the tail also ended in one hand as well, a hand twice as large as the ones covering his eyes! A long, thin, floppy tail with a bulbous hand, WITH A THUMB ON EACH SIDE, that also appeared to be fisted just like his ear-hands were.
What astonished Rayman the most was the fact that all these formations made this creature mysteriously cute- his skin shiny from the sunlight. At the moment he was collapsed onto the ground, his face covered in his palms and crying, which only made him more approachable. Rayman noticed a broken stick laying a ways from the creature, and he assumed that it must've been his weapon. Perhaps he was crying because he was lost on a strange planet with no weapon and no food.
The pity overcame him at last, and Rayman was now walking at his normal pace toward the creature with no hesitation at all, and only a willingness to help. He could hear that the "centaur" was indeed sobbing, and didn't even notice Rayman standing to his right, his white hands folded on his back.
"Hey. What's the matter?"
As if put out of a trance, the creature's head whip lashed itself alarmed, gasped, and he galloped toward the dense forest!
"NO! WAIT! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HARM YOU! I COME HERE IN PEACE! PLEASE, STOP!"
The "centaur" fortunately stopped in his tracks before he could disappear into the growth, but huddled himself against a tree trunk, giving the limbless stranger a watchful eye. He was breathing heavily, but managed to get some words out. "Wh- what are you?! What do you want?!" His voice sounded like a twelve-year-old's, but its manner made him sound like an adult.
Rayman tried to calm him down, his two hands slowly dropping in front. "I saw you here, and wanted to know what you were crying about. Are you lost? Is that your weapon?"
This didn't console him one bit. "I am not telling you anything until you tell ME YOUR business!"
Rayman thought, he's an uptight little rascal! "I am Rayman of Neotopia, the planet that you are now on. It is my nature to help those in need, even when they are complete alien strangers! I do know how to fight, but only to the intentionally bad kind! But you do not look bad, so I want to help you! I've helped countless aliens before, and you can rest assured I can help you."
The "centaur's" pose didn't relax, but he replied, "I am Boble. I am a Lapitaur, but I fear my planet is now obliterated from existence! I highly doubt you can do anything about it- such a short, goofy-looking thing like you!" He was on the verge of crying again.
Rayman was now more surprised than before. His entire planet gone? "Goofy- looking"? Had he not heard of his heroic deeds? "Wow," he said. "I am both sympathetic... and offended... by your remark..."
"AAAAGH! DON'T YOU DARE PUNCH ME!"
"Wha'?! WHA'?! All I did was say I was offended—"
"(GASP!) Your hand! It... it...MOVED!"
"Woah. A'kay. You. Need to calm down. We'll take this one step at a time. Move... away... from the tree....THAAAAAT'S good. Now. Take a deep breath..."
The Lapitaur named Boble raised his right hand. "Forgive me... Rayman. I- I've never been so sad in my life, that's all..."
"'That's ALL'?! Boble, I know, being a WITNESS, how it feels to have your entire planet completely gone! It is NOT something you would call,... 'that's all'!" Rayman took his hands. "I feel your pain... having your entire life taken away from you. You probably don't know if your family is even alive, do you?"
Boble's cavalier behavior deflated like Globox right after a bean meal. His head fell limp, and his shaky voice said, "I might as well die right here. No one can mend the sights I've seen on my planet. No one will listen to me."
"If you listen to me, I can get you through this. Come on! We can find evidence of your planet and try to find a way to save, and maybe even rebuild, your race! Why, with these five arms and four legs, it should be a sintch!"
The moment shifted from deep remorse to physical panic! Whatever Rayman said, it sent Boble on a whirlwind of screaming and flaring all nine of his arms and legs in the air, and he cut away from his grasp and fled into the woods!
-----
"Okay, Globox! Rayman was last seen right here where the finish line used to be. And you have NO IDEA where he must've gone?"
"With Rayman, you can never tell."
"Hum. Well, we mustn't loose hope! I GOTTA' tell him about my wonderful nomination for the Best Comic Sidekick/Guide for Adventurous Heroes Award at the Annual Video Game Character Awards Show!"
"Hey! I'm nominated too, remember?!"
"Oh, right. That. But all joking aside, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! It says here on the sheet that the Annual Video Game Character Awards Show is at the END of this week! That's in four days! I can't get ready to go without him! Now, come on! I have to spread MY wonderful NEWS!"
"Sigh..."
-----
Splosh! Splosh! Splosh! Splosh again! His sneakers were getting dirty from the mud. Boble ran off as if a ghost chicken was chasing it, not Rayman! Rayman was so used to avoiding obstacle after obstacle that he spent his concentration trying to crack this guy's logic. Why doesn't he trust me?! What did I say to send him flipping out and running off like this?! It should only be a matter of time until I catch up to him and stop him in his tracks- then, he won't be able to do anything but tell me the truth! If he wants me to use force, I'll show him force!
Sure enough, after five more minutes, he was able to pin him against a huge turquoise rock, and with a bang, Boble could only wiggle in the hard, gripping position Rayman had caged him in. "Okay, Boble Boy! You chose to play it rough- I can play rough too! Tell me just HOW you got here! NOW!"
"No! There is no way a little runt like you can make me feel better about this!"
Rayman's mood changed in a snap. "Oh, yeah? Well, watch this!" He put his index fingers in the sides of his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and went, "BLAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAAAA!"
Boble just stood there, stone-faced and and passively put-off.
"What, don't think that's funny? I didn't make you feel better?"
Still stone-faced.
"You're right, that's too juvenile. You're a BIG boy. I need to try harder. Um..." He disconnected himself, and reconnected them in a distorted mixture, like Mr. Potato Head. "Hah?"
Stone-face.
"Haha, uh... no..." He reconnected himself back properly, and then wound up for a punch targeted at a random spot to his left. BLAM! It ricocheted several times off several trees, and landed inside his mouth, and out his ear!
Stone-face.
"Great, now I just wasted valuable energy, AND my right hand is covered in Rayman Saliva! You just have SOOOO much self-control, don't you?! To make the best out of a situation like this, the last thing you gotta' do is FLIP OUT!!!!" The last word echoed through the woods. "Forget I did that. Do you even have a sense of humor?!"
Boble didn't flinch, even when two equally amusing sidekicks finally spotted Rayman behind his back and ran toward him. "Rayman! Rayman! There you are! I heard you scream 'Flip out!', so we did and found you! I got GREAT ne—oh, company."
Murfy and Globox stared at Boble as if staring at black bananas. Boble's eyebrows narrowed even more.
Rayman faced Murfy and said, "Guys. This Lapitaur just witnessed his world be destroyed by an unknown force, and is here to get help. But everyone knows that before you attempt to face adversity, you MUST ease yourself. So let's make him feel better with some classic Humor 101!"
Murfy rose to his feet and said, "I'll do it!"
Globox cut in. "No, no! I'll do it! I'm the better sidekick!"
"NO! I'M the better sidekick!"
"NO, I AM!"
"I AAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM-Muh!"
Rayman was now just as confused as Boble. "Hey, hey. Since when did the concept of 'better sidekick' become an issue?"
But they weren't listening. They were too busy fighting each other until they took it outside the hearing range of the other two. Rayman just jerked his head to himself, wondering what just happened.
Stone-face, with mouth talking. "Are you some sort of bulb-nosed freak, with two slapstick sidekicks, put on this ground for clownish amusement?"
"I asked you first! Besides, as if you haven't heard, I actually DID save this planet as WELL as saving my friends, innocent citizens and helpless children from selfish lowlives who only thought about themselves! I am intergalactically famous! You've never heard of me?!"
Stone-face, with mouth talking. "As far as I can see, your only reason to exist is to amuse others. The proof lies in your very body structure! Big nose, goofy eyes, big hands, big, round sneakers, you run up and down constantly like some demented cartoon character—not only can you not help me, but you can't even make me FEEL better! Good day to you, Sir." And keep in mind this was coming from a twelve-year-old!
Rayman just stood there. This creature, which was obviously upset and worried about his parents and his people, would rather die than save them, which he obviously showed the willingness and ability to do?! What a stiff! "FINE! Go die and throw away a perfectly good opportunity to save your planet and your parents, who must've risked their lives to save you!"
"How did YOU know that?!" Boble answered from a distance.
"It's very likely! That ALWAYS happens at dramatic separations! But if this is the path you've chosen, then GOOD DAY!" He equally thrust himself to face the opposite direction, and stomped the way he came from, following the footsteps in the mud.
-----
We have Rayman who just turned his back on Boble, and Globox and Murfy duking it out somewhere else. In another part of the forest, where the sun doesn't shine so hot, yet a third story took place.
A thumping noise scared a group of tropical lizards trying to keep wet. The thumping sounded like footsteps, and that's probably because they WERE footsteps, thank you very much! Two pairs of heavy footstepage smashed one bush after another. Out of the dense clump of trees landed an orange, thick shoe connected to an orange, thick leg! Soon the strangers revealed themselves.
They were built like body-builders, but dressed semi-elegantly- definitely not expecting any tropical forest temperature! The expensive shoes were all covered in mud, and one of the identical strangers, looking under his shoe, was disgusted.
"Oh no ! Monsieur Vente, I vill NEVER get zis soot off of me !"
"Au contraire, Monsieur Achat ! Soon, vee vill be out of the filthy forests of zis unknown planETTE, and collecting more precious and rare specimens ! Now, FORWARD—OOF !"
Vente tripped and soon his faded orange body was in the mud. Achat was laughing!
"What are you laughing at ?! Moi ? You fell just a moment ago !"
"Oui, but unlike you, I like to get as MANY different types of coats, so if I get one dirty, I just replace it with a new one !" Achat had a smug expression on his pointy face.
"Oh ya ?" said Vente. "Why do you always get SOOO many things, Achat ?!"
"Why do you always get so little, Vente?"
"Because, I like to SAVE! To conserve! To recycle! Saving is vot makes a proper merchant 'prospieur' !"
"Vell, you're wrong ! I never got away with anything if I never had EVERY single part of a collection, OR anything else ! Material substance is vot makes an assistant prosper, VENTE ! "
"NO, it is saving !"
"BUYING !"
"SAVING !"
"BUYING ! In fact, that coat you are wearing would look great on me ! I shall make a price for 50 pounds for it !"
"50 pounds ?! It's the exact same as yours ! Plus, it's covered in DIRT ! "
"I charge extra for zee dry-cleaning—vot vas that?"
There was a shuffle a little ways from their area. They both stopped their argument and darted their heads to and fro, trying to look for anything that moved. It was Achat who first broke the silence to say, "Vait ! It's coming from over there !" He pointed to a direction, and together, they spotted Rayman, still upset from his encounter, storming back to where he came from.
Their jaws dropped! Finally, another creature who's hands, feet and head were not connected by any limbs!
"SHHH ! Do not make a sound. Vee vouldn't vant the puny thing to be scared and run a—"
CRASH!! Rayman's fist shot a hole through the thickets right over their heads! "WHO GOES THERE?! I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU! I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO CAPTURE ME, AND IF YOU GET CLOSER, YOU'RE IN FOR A WALLOP!"
"... and... run... away... helplessly."
They exchanged blank glances, screamed, and "ran away helplessly"!
"Oh, Dear Achat ! En all my years of planETTE scouting, ah' have NEVIERE my life vitnessed a limbless being with so much powieur !"
"But vee MUST get it somehow, Vente ! Those hands ! Those feet ! That head ! They could be veeeery valuable indeed !"
"Vait ! M-M-Maybe vee don't have to get that one ! Other limbless beings must live here also !"
Achat, his expression usually comical and amusing, even when taking up his charismatic ways, turned serious. His wiry grin disappeared, and to anyone's surprise who looked at him at that moment, he could send chills up their spines. "NO, Vente ! Vee must get THAT one ! For he is, how you say, veeeery special, and if vee are able to collect his parts, disconnect them, and PARALYZE them, then vee vill gain loads and loads of MONEY !" They were still running as fast as they could, but Achat was keeping his voice slow and cool. "Vee are no match for hiz powieurs, but once he is in a vulnerable state, vee vill take the chance ."
Vente was shaking, but seemed to be oblivious to Achat's sudden mood change. "Ooo ! Ooo ! And then, vee vill send him to... MADAM !"
"NO, YEUW PITIFIEL MINK ! We take him to Madam first, THEN paralyze him! SHE OWNS ALL THE CAPTIES ! RIGHT ?"
"Oh, yes. Exactly. Hee hehe he HEE HEE HEHE HE – MWAHAHAHAHAW !"
"Shut up, or I'll push yew intew a tree FOR yeuw!"
(to be continued...)