A/N- Whoa, sorry for the LONG delay in updating. Thank you to all of you who reviewed, I loved coming home from camp and reading all of your great comments. I still have quite a few chapters to go, I never realized how long this story was getting. Please tell me if you think I am dragging out the plot, or if anyone is WAY out of character.
Disclaimer- Oh yeah, I own Inuyasha. Since it is so likely that a 14 year old (15 on August 17 Yay!) girl is able to buy the rights to a show. Haha, good one! No, they all belong to the great Rumiko Takahashi!
The Colors of Emotions
Chapter 28
No Options, Learn To Deal
'What's the worst that could happen? Inuyasha can't actually do anything about it. He might try to take the jewel shard, but I won't let him. That would only make me a risk again. Either way, my life is in danger. But, Naraku did say he wasn't planning on killing me… so original my decision stands.'
"Kagome?" A concerned yet determined voice crashed through the young miko's thoughts, and she forced herself to focus.
'Even…even if Inuyasha is angry, I won't back down. He doesn't control me.' Taking a deep breath, Kagome decided it was now or never. Better to get it over with before she lost her determination.
Inuyasha sat expectantly on the couch beside her. He waited with baited breath, and he knew whatever Kagome was about to spill would answer all of the questions that had been piling up in his head.
"Inuyasha, you overheard the conversation between me and Kaede right?" Kagome decided to explain this in as few words as possible.
"I didn't really understand it." He admitted.
With a sigh, Kagome realized that it would be a bit harder than she'd hoped it would be to spill her guts on the matter. "Kaede told me, that it was possible for there to be a very powerful connection between two people. If one of these people could discover the power in the connection, than they could enter the other's mind."
Inuyasha was remembering what he had heard Kaede explain. "Whatever happens in that person's mind, will happen to their physical body too." The hanyou finished.
"Yep." Kagome mumbled staring down at her lap.
That was the boost that Inuyasha's mind needed. All of the answers fell into place. "Naraku is connected to you?" He asked in a voice that was dreading the answer.
"Yep." Kagome whispered again.
"The cuts on your arm and shoulder? All of your nightmares? They were Naraku?" Inuyasha's voice had dropped to a low growl.
Kagome's throat had dried up in anticipation. She could only nod.
"What the hell is the connection? I swear I'll break it." The seething hanyou ground out.
Kagome didn't answer. She stayed silent and kept her eyes glued to her nervously twiddling thumbs on her lap.
"Kagome?" A threatening growl met her ears.
"The-" Kagome took a deep breath to stop the tears that trying to come. She tried again. "The demon power in the jewel shard. My power is absorbed by the shard," Kagome took another deep breath as she fought against the wetness in her eyes, "All the shards are connected, so Naraku's shard also absorbs the demonic energy, and he's powerful enough to connect to it. He is part demon after all, so he can…he can enter my mind."
Kagome couldn't fight against the tears any longer. She hated being so weak and crying all the time. But she was so scared how Inuyasha would react. He had asked her to tell him everything, and she had hid this from him. "He has control over me when my…" Kagome sniffled, "when my mind is weak, like when I'm sleeping. He can make me feel emotions and see images."
Inuyasha's just sat stunned. All the questions had answers. He knew what was going on. But he felt no sense of victory. He felt worse.
Naraku had found a way to torment and hurt Kagome, and he couldn't do a thing about it. An emptiness filled him. 'I can't protect her from this. I can't do a thing!' Inuyasha angrily punched the pillow next to him, causing the stuffing to burst from the corners. Ignoring the damage, Inuyasha turned back to Kagome, intent on yelling at her. How could she have hid this from him for so long?
But the tears he saw cascading down Kagome's face as she looked at him with fearful eyes, made the angry fire within him burn out. "I can't do anything can I?" Inuyasha admitted dejectedly.
Kagome shook her head. Her tears had slowed now that she knew Inuyasha's reaction was calmer than she'd thought. "You can't do anything about Naraku. Besides, he isn't going to hurt me."
Inuyasha looked disbelievingly from Kagome's face to the bandage on her arm.
"He won't hurt me badly. He needs me for something." Kagome finished.
"What?" Inuyasha questioned suspiciously.
"I don't know. Something with the jewel I think." Kagome had completely calmed down by now. Inuyasha was being reasonable. Never had Kagome thought that he was capable of that.
"There's nothing we can do? Can't you enter his mind, or attack him or something?"
The options had crossed Kagome's mind, but none had posed as a real solution. "I can't enter his mind. I don't know how to feel the connection at all. And I can't attack him. I might die if I did, and also, I don't think you, Sango, or Miroku would want me taking your revenge away from you."
'Why is she always thinking of other people!? Geez Kagome, I don't understand you!' Inuyasha saw only one solution left. He grabbed the jewel shard around Kagome's neck and snapped the chain so it came free. Kagome gave a frustrated growl and lunged, but slipped the shard in his haori and backed off the couch out of Kagome's reach. "He isn't going to connect to you anymore."
A fire sparked in Kagome's eyes as she looked at him from her sprawled out position on the couch. "Give that back." She hissed.
"No. This is the only way. You can learn to control your powers without the jewel."
"I can't! I attacked you twice and I practically killed myself when I didn't have the jewel shard!"
"I'm in charge Kagome!" As an afterthought, he added with a superior edge to his tone, "And you're getting angry."
Kagome's felt the energy build up inside of her. "Dammit!" She yelled as she jumped from the couch. She had to calm down. 'What had Kaede said to do?…Oh yeah, run and get rid of the energy.'
Inuyasha watched in slight amusement as Kagome bolted towards the front door and ran outside. He followed and easily caught up with his superior speed. He stayed slightly behind her.
Kagome ran down the shrine steps and began to jog along the sidewalk. It was early, and very few cars were driving down the street. The sun's rays had barely made there way across the horizon, but Kagome didn't let the lack of light affect her.
She continued to run until she reached a small park. No one was there because of the early hour, so Kagome plopped down on a swing and tried to catch her breath. 'It worked. I'm not angry anymore. I'm exhausted, but not angry. But there is no way I can do this every time I feel angry or protective.
What other emotions could set me off. I haven't discovered anything else yet. Maybe I only have two that affect me like that? I hope.'
A sound caught Kagome's attention, and she looked up startled to see two glowing amber eyes.
"It worked." Kagome grumbled.
"See, you can control yourself." Inuyasha cockily stated.
Instead of getting annoyed by his tone, Kagome stood from the swing, and began to walk home. Inuyasha stepped into stride beside her, and Kagome smiled. She had gotten a lot off her chest, and it felt good.
*
The two entered the front door and found that no one was awake yet. This was quite a surprise because of all the noise they had made yelling and running out of the house, but hey, Kagome wasn't going to complain. She didn't want her mother angry at her again anyway.
Inuyasha sat on the couch, but Kagome didn't follow suit. Instead, the miko launched herself at the unsuspecting hanyou so she laid on top of him giving Inuyasha a big hug. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I thought you'd be mad at me." Kagome mumbled into his chest.
Inuyasha lay there stunned. This had been entirely unexpected. 'I guess she finally excepts who's in charge here.' He thought smugly.
Kagome pulled away with a small smile on her face. "I guess everyone needs a taste of their own medicine."
"What?" The clueless hanyou mumbled, still recovering from the sudden hug.
Kagome's smile turned to a smirk, the perfect replica of Inuyasha's, and she lifted up her hand to show the Shikon shard hanging in her grasp. She put on the necklace, and tucked the shard so it hung behind the fabric of her shirt.
"Remember after that battle with Sesshoumaru, when you stole the shard from me before you shoved me down the well? I thought I'd try the same technique to steal the shard from you."
Inuyasha could only stare at her. "When have you become such a sneaky little bitch?" He answered with slight amusement in his voice. Somehow, the situation had lost some of its tense seriousness, it was almost a game now, just to see who would come out on top of the argument.
Kagome frowned. "You shouldn't have taken the shard from me in the first place. I can deal with Naraku. What I can't deal with is the thought that I could kill you or anyone else if I lost control and didn't have the shard. I didn't tell you any of this because I knew you would react by taking the shard. I don't care how dominating you think you are Inuyasha, but this is my decision. So back off."
"Inuyasha! Kagome! This had better be the last time I'm woken up by you two bickering. It's a Saturday! People like to sleep in on Saturdays!" Mrs. Higurashi strode angrily into the living room with her hands on her hips.
"Sorry Mom." Kagome mumbled as she quickly grabbed the pillow that Inuyasha had punch and hid it under one of the cushions.
Kagome's mother sighed, "Go make yourself breakfast. There is some cereal in the cupboard."
"Okay." Inuyasha and Kagome said in unison.
Mrs. Higurashi smiled, she just couldn't stay angry at them for long. "Why are you two awake so early again?"
"We fell asleep down here during the movie. I had a nightmare and woke up. Inuyasha just doesn't sleep much." Kagome answered. It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the total truth.
Mrs. Higurashi seemed to believe the excuse, for she nodded and left to go to the kitchen and make some coffee. The two followed behind her, and Kagome grabbed a box of Fruit Loops, two bowls and spoons, and sat at the table beside Inuyasha. Her mom set the milk on the table, and Kagome prepared the two bowls of cereal.
She passed one to Inuyasha who eagerly started to eat the bowl's contents. He had learned from past visits to use a spoon, and not to lap up the cereal like some sort of dog. Kagome had laughed at the irony.
He finished his breakfast in no time, and decided to get something off his chest. "Kagome?" He called to get her attention. Mrs. Higurashi left the kitchen with her cup of coffee to leave the two alone.
"Mm Hmm." Kagome acknowledged that she was listening and looked up at him with the spoon in her mouth.
"I'm glad you told me what was going on."
Kagome's eyes widened slightly, and she swallowed before answering him. "Me too." She realized with a smile.
"Is there anything else you're not telling me?"
Kagome shook her head. "But I promise I won't hide things from you anymore. Because it seems you'll have a way to find out no matter what."
*
"Kagome! Are you ready yet Honey? You don't want to be late for Ryoko's wedding!" Mrs. Higurashi called up the stairs. "I'll be waiting in the car for you okay?"
"I'm almost done!" Kagome answered from her room. Kagome felt silly having her mom still driving her places, as all of her other friends had gotten their licenses over the past year or so. But the young miko just didn't see the need, nor did she have the time to be worrying about her driving test and what not.
Kagome looked critically at herself in the mirror. She never had liked dressing up too much, and she felt slightly ridiculous in the dress she wore. Sure, it was beautiful. It was light pink, form-fitting, spaghetti-strapped, and it fell slight below her knee. The fabric was silky, and the color worked really well on her.
But Kagome still felt uncomfortable wearing such a nice dress. It contradicted her life too much. She was used to wearing her uniform or breezy sundresses. The fabric was made more for comfort, and it seemed that know matter how many fights, falls, or adventures Kagome got into, her uniform wouldn't tear or become too worn.
This dainty little dress would probably rip if she tried to run in it. 'But some things can't be helped.' Kagome thought with a sigh. She did another once-over in the mirror, and passed herself off as looking decent enough. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail, but a few strands fell from the style and framed her face.
She wore very little make-up, just a little lip-gloss and blush. Kagome was fortunate enough to naturally have a good complexion and long lashes, so she didn't see the need in wasting time to perfect it. She had fought her mother on the shoes to wear. Kagome's stubborn mom had wanted her to wear these ridiculous high heels that Kagome didn't think were possible for her to walk in. She had wanted to just put on her flip-flops. Kagome had won the argument thanks to a 'graceful' fall while she tried wearing the dreadful shoes that gave a new meaning to high heels.
Okay, so maybe she was exaggerating. But Kagome wasn't in the mood to dress up like a little princess and wear a fake smile plastered on her face all day. Of course she was happy for Ryoko, after all, they were good friends, but Kagome couldn't shake the thought of how pointless a lot of the things she had to do in her time were. Even at seventeen, Kagome had learned just how precious life was. Naraku could kill her whenever she fell asleep, and instead of being where she belonged in the past trying to defeat him, she was here playing dress-up.
'Wait, did I just say the past is where I belong?' Kagome hadn't even realized how easily the thought had gone through her mind. It was a bit unnerving, and Kagome chose to ignore those thoughts for the moment.
Inuyasha stood impatiently by the stairs. He had insisted on following Kagome to this wedding, as he was still determined not to let her out of his sight, but Kagome had made him promise to stay outside and not be seen by other people. "Feh." Inuyasha mumbled. 'The wench acts like she's ashamed of me sometimes. Like she doesn't want people to think of her as anything but a normal girl. Does she really dislike having to leave this time to return to mine?' The thoughts were depressing, and Inuyasha brushed them off as just being an affect of his foul mood. It didn't matter anyway. 'Feh, when she's done with her duty in the past, she'll probably come prancing back to her home to be with that 'Hoho' boy and live her 'normal' life.'
'If she even lives through all of this.' A nagging voice called in the back of the hanyou's mind.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome called from the top of the stairs. He had looked very deep in thought, but his shoulders were slumped, so whatever he was thinking about must have been depressing.
Inuyasha was still in a daze as he turned his head to acknowledge her. His breath caught in his throat. She looked beautiful. She had a soft smile on her face as she gazed down at him. 'What if that innocent young woman on the stairs is killed because you couldn't protect her? She could die any night. What if Naraku just decides he doesn't need her anymore?' That nagging voice made itself known again.
'Shut up!' Inuyasha growled. 'Oh, great, now I'm fighting with myself.'
"Inuyasha?" Kagome called again. He was strangely quiet.
"What?" He snapped. He immediately regretted it though.
"I'm sorry for trying to get your attention." Kagome retorted sarcastically. Her smile was immediately turned to a scowl. "We're going. If you want to follow along and play watch dog, no pun intended, then by all means, get in the car."
"Very funny." Inuyasha growled as he followed Kagome to the car. He hadn't wanted to ride in the 'van', as Kagome and her mom had put it, but Kagome had said that her dress would probably get wrinkled or ruined if she rode on his back to the church where the wedding was. He hated the 'van' though. It smelled, and he felt like it was losing control and was going to crash every time it stopped or sped up.
"Can't I just follow along? I can run just as fast, and I'll stay on rooftops." Inuyasha asked irritably. He noticed Kagome didn't have the jewel shard around her neck. It was probably in that purse thing of hers, he figured. 'She most likely thought I would snatch it back the first chance I got. But I doubt Kagome would let me. Besides, it would hurt her more to think she couldn't trust me to respect her decision.'
'Since when do you care what she wants?' That voice was getting really annoying.
"Suit yourself. But I'm not going with you." Kagome stated indifferently.
"Feh." Inuyasha answered.
A few minutes later, Kagome and her mother were driving down the streets, with a red blur following behind them moving along the buildings.
*
(I know that the Japanese wouldn't have the traditional Catholic wedding, but I don't know how it's done in Japan, so for the story's purpose, it's just your regular church wedding.)
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The priest announced. Kagome clapped with the rest of the guests on the pews of the church as she watched Ryoko and her handsome new husband share a quick but passionate kiss. Ryoko really was gorgeous, and you could see how much love and adoration the couple shared for one another just by seeing the looks they gave each other.
Kagome followed the crowd that trailed after Ryoko and her husband as the couple exited the church to the limo waiting outside. Kagome wasn't going to the reception, since all she wanted to do was go home and rest. Her mom hadn't attended the wedding with her, since Mrs. Higurashi thought it'd be rude as the invitation hadn't included her name. Kagome had assured her mother that Ryoko wouldn't mind, but her mother stubbornly assured her that she had errands she needed to do anyway, and she also needed to pick up Souta from baseball practice.
Mrs. Higurashi had told her daughter to call her on her cell phone when she was ready to go. And Kagome was about ready to do just that. She fumbled around in her purse to make sure her cell phone was still there, and was assured that it was. Her fingers bumped against something smooth, and Kagome pulled it from her bag to reveal the jewel shard she had placed in there earlier. She absentmindedly held onto it, and her eyes returned to watch the happy young couple enter the limo.
'Ryoko found the love of her life, and she's off to start a brand new life with him.' Kagome thought wistfully. A strange feeling ran through the young woman's mind at that thought. 'What was that?'
The crowd around Kagome began to disperse as they headed to their cars to follow the limo to wherever the reception was being held.
Kagome looked up once more to see the limo start to pull away. A sign had been placed on the back saying 'Just Married.' The windows in the limo were open since the day was warm, and Kagome could see Ryoko lean over to kiss her husband as the vehicle drove past where she was standing on the sidewalk outside the church.
Something snapped, Kagome felt a tingling in her fist that held onto the jewel shard, and the young miko fell to the ground.
*
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