I may wander far and wide
With the stars my only guide
But I will find my way back home
I may leave and I may go
But no matter where I go
I will find my way back home
Sakura knew that this day would come. She knew that it would have to come sooner or later. But why couldn't it come a little later? She sighed and continued kneading the dough for the bread she was making for breakfast. The last time I would be able to make it for him. Sakura shook her head and drove the dark thought out of her mind. She forced herself to concentrate on the work at hand and was determined to make that batch of bread the best she had ever made.
Syaoran stuffed the rest of his clothing into the compact traveling bag he always carried. He rubbed his hand over his face in exhaustion and slumped down onto the bed he shared with Sakura during his days at the little cottage inn she owned. Why did he feel a sense of detachment whenever he thought of leaving the place? He liked to think of himself as a Gypsy. Traveling from one end of the earth to another, with no sense of regret. He had done the same when he traveled to other parts of the world for inspiration to write his book. He had went, and left. No emotional detachment whatsoever. It was easier that way, he thought. No family to worry about, no hard feelings. Just acquaintances. But why did he feel that now, when leaving Japan? It was no good. He was growing on the country. Or the mistress of this bloody inn. He shook that thought away and reverted them to the book he was currently working on. The horror book was complete. Many people had been butchered, mysteries have been solved. Syaoran smiled at the memory that the female lead, Bea, had been characterized the same way as Sakura. With her irritating calmness she was so well known of, and those emerald eyes that bore deep into your soul, that wavy curls on her pretty little intelligent head. Who could resist that charm she possessed? The Hero, Robin, was as fond as the tea cakes as he was. Just then, his thoughts were interrupted by the smell of baking coming from the kitchen downstairs. Syaoran grinned and made for the room door, bag in hand. He would give her one more chance to beg him to stay. It would do his ego no harm.
That was how Syaoran found her, her golden curls imprisoned on top of her head with a few escaped tendrils resting at the nape of her neck, and lips pursed in concentration as she kneaded the bread dough. There was flour on her hands and she had to use her arm to wipe away the trickle of sweat that rolled down the side of her face. He grinned and crept up behind her. He had this sudden urge to say 'I love you' but instead, he slipped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck, grinning when she jumped.
"Syaoran!" she exclaimed in shock.
"Hey beautiful," he murmured into her neck. Sakura let out a laugh. "I've flour all over me! If you don't want to get dirty, you better let go over me."
Ignoring her warning, he turned her around in his arms and put her arms around his neck. He leaned down for a kiss. "And what if I do?" he murmured against her lips, looking into her emerald orbs. Sakura's heart pounded and she licked her dry lips.
"What if you want to get flour all over your suit, or what if you don't want to let go of me?" asked Sakura nervously.
Syaoran watched tongue flicker over her lips and brushed his own against them. He grinned lightly when he felt her shudder.
"Cold?" he teased. Sakura lowered her lashes in a natural feminine reaction that delighted Syaoran. "Not really," Sakura reached up and captured Syaoran's lips with hers. Her lips were half open in invitation and Syaoran deepen the kiss. Syaoran's lips left her and worked its way down her jaw. Sakura moaned with pleasure and ran her fingers into his black hair. He nipped her earlobe greedily and Sakura realized how hungry he was.
"If you're hungry, I have some bread for you," she gasped as Syaoran made his way down her throat. He growled in mock irritation and gave her one last firm kiss before letting her go. She grabbed the kitchen counter to regain her breath and watched as Syaoran grabbed a slice of bread from the kitchen table. Sakura felt her heart calm down and joined him at the table.
"The plane's leaving at 10." Prompted Syaoran. He watched her closely for a reaction, but all he got was a small nod of her head. He eyes remained expressionless. The ice queen, thought Syaoran bitterly.
"Do you need help in your packing?" asked Sakura casually as she buttered a slice of bread for him. Syaoran growled at her. "I've finished packing." He did not miss the small flicker of hurt in her eyes. It was gone as quickly as it came. She glanced at the kitchen clock and smiled at him. "You better get going soon if you don't want to miss your flight."
"Are you that eager to see me go?" he said between clenched teeth. Sakura just smiled lightly and shook her head. "Not really. But you have to go, and I understand that. I can't keep you here in this little inn for the rest of your life. I don't want you to stay here and be unhappy." She stood up and braced a smiled at him. "Do you want some food for your journey? I can pack you some of the bread I made this morning." Syaoran just shook his head quietly and stood up, bag in hand. "I better be leaving now." Sakura nodded and followed him to the front door. He turned to her to say something but remained quiet as Sakura smoothed down the collar of his coat tenderly and place her right palm over his heart.
"You will not forget me, Syaoran." She said with quiet determination. She lifted her eyes to meet him. "You'll think of me, will you?" Syaoran nodded and swallowed down the sudden rise of emotions. "I come by again when I visit Japan in the future." Sakura just looked at and smiled. "In the future." She agreed. "I love you."
Syaoran was surprised when the urge to return the words overwhelmed him, but he clamped it down. He opened his mouth to speak again but Sakura placed a finger on his lips to silence him. Her eyes were not as wet as he would like it. Blasted Ice Queen.
"It's okay, Syaoran. You don't have to return those words if you don't want to. I just wanted you to know that there is at least someone in this world that loves you. Someone who loves you so much." Sakura shook her head at the wonder of those words. She let go of him and Syaoran immediately felt a sense of loss without her touch.
"Goodbye, Syaoran."
"Goodbye, Sakura."
Sakura stood there as she watched Syaoran drive away, from her home, and from her life.
Syaoran drummed his fingers impatiently at the steering wheel as he cursed blithely. Why did that ending in that stupid book kept on bugging him? Robin left in the end and Bea stayed on in her inn. He could not stay because he needed to return to his life, and not spend the rest of it stuck in a little cottage taking care of babies and stuff! Sakura- no, Bea had to stayed at the inn because that's where her family, her life, and her friends were. They were both happy and got what they wanted. But why the hell is the ending not working out? Syaoran knew that he should just get the script sent off to his editor in New York, but he just couldn't for something was holding him back. But what? Syaoran stopped the car at the side of the road and covered his face with his hands. He had to leave the inn. He didn't want to leave Sakura, but he had to. It was his life. Syaoran knew that he would have stayed if Sakura had asked him to. But she didn't. Blasted Ice Queen. Syaoran muttered a curse when he realized that his thoughts had strayed back to Sakura. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. All he needed now was to find a hotel, some food, a shower, and a bed. He growled in frustration.
The hell that is all I need.
Sakura was down on her elbows and knees deep in soap water as she laboriously scrubbed the wooden floor clean. She looked up and found herself beside the room Syaoran used to sleep in. Sakura debated with herself for a moment, called herself a coward and quickly opened the door to the room. She walked over to the desk and stared at the wallpaper on the wall for the moment. Regaining her senses, she straightened the chair and ran her fingers through the desk lightly, trying to imagine Syaoran there. Sakura shook her head and got down to work to clear her mind. It always worked.
Most of the time.
She walked into the bath room and picked up the used towels he had left hanging by the sink. She breathed in his scent and felt her heart wrench in pain. It was too familiar, too…Syaoran. Sakura fumbled back into the room and sat down on his bed, pressed the towel into her face, and started weeping bitterly, cursing the fates that had brought them apart.
Syaoran found her in his room with a towel pressed into her face and rocking herself as she cried. It was a wild sound, a far cry from the sweet, and calm and composed Sakura. Her crying was filled with so much unbearable grief and sadness.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" Sakura looked up with a start when she heard Syaoran's voice and buried her face back into the towel in shame.
"Why did you come back?" she cried, voice muffled by the towel. Even then, the agony bled through easily. Syaoran felt his heart wrench. "I forgot something."
"There's nothing in here. Everything's with you. Now go away." Cried Sakura as she tried to hold back her tears. Syaoran knelt in front of her and snorted.
"No, no…keep on crying. It'll do both of us good. 'Do you need help in your packing, Syaoran?' 'Do you want some food for your journey Syaoran?' Dammit, Sakura! You sure had me going there. You sure had me fooled, you blasted Ice Queen, you even had me leaving- no! Don't cover your face." Syaoran wrenched her fist away and felt a rush of tenderness overwhelm him when he saw her tearstained face. "Dammit, Sakura. You really had me fooled. Look at me, no- look at me Sakura." He held on to her hands until she stopped trying to wrench it free. "Listen to me Sakura, something was wrong with the book-"
"You came all the way back here just to tell me of your book, Syaoran? You-"
"Just shut up and listen to me, alright?" He barked. He ignored her outraged expression and let go of her hands to pace about the room. "Robin left Bea in the end. Went back to being the wanderer he was, after the murderer was found out. Robin got what he wanted, Bea got what he wanted, they mystery is solved. But the ending bugged me all the way back to the airport, Sakura. So I checked into the hotel, and did a rewrite right there at the hotel lobby."
"So, your book's finally completed. Good for you."
"Yes it is, Sakura." He knelt in front of Sakura and took her hands, kissing them and tasting her tears. "But my life's not. And it won't ever be. You know why? Because I left all of it here. My life is here, Sakura. You are here. That's what I had forgotten. You. Your sister Tomoyo, Touya, Eriol. They're part of me more than I would like to admit. I have no family Sakura, And you all are what I've got left. And I almost left it all behind. After completing the rewrite, I realized that I couldn't live without any of you guys." Sakura's eyes soften and she ignored the trickle of tears that was rolling down her cheek.
"Oh Syaoran…"
Syaoran fumbled into his back pocket and never took his eyes off Sakura, as if afraid that she might vanish any moment. Sakura was touched and reached out to tuck a flyaway strand of hair away from his face. When Syaoran produced a velvet box, Sakura shook her head,
"Syaoran, you don't have to buy me anything. I've already got you."
"I know. But it's not enough, it never will be. Sakura, I want to make a life with you. I want to live in this inn and make a family. Because… Because I…gad this is hard…I…I love you, Sakura. This is the first and only time I will ever say it to anybody." He opened the velvet box to reveal a square cut diamond ring encrusted on a shining silver band. "The hotel owner is such a sentimental. The moment I said that I needed a ring to marry you, he actually shed tears and opened up the jewelry shop for me in the middle of the night- or morning for that matter- and I bought a ring. It's not much but-"
"Syaoran-"
"It's not much but I promise that I'll get you something better. This was really last minute. When I came in, I was all ready to go down on my knees and beg you to take me back, but then I heard you crying, and oh I thanked the Gods. It did not harm to my ego at all, Sakura. You love me. I know it. You love me so much that you would do anything for me, even marry me, and I want plenty of kids running around this inn-"
"Of Co-"
"And your don't have to worry about the money. I got lots of that in my account from my previous books. They were all major hits and they are all darn good. This book is going to be a hit too and I know it. I have to go for book tours and all but you can close this inn and come along sometimes. We can call Tomoyo and Eriol to take care of it with their kids. You know they love this inn. And, and Touya could take care of the dog, I know he seems to dislike Con but I know that he loves it dearly. Trust me darling, I know my people. I-"
"Oh, just be quiet for a moment so I can say yes would you?" Laughed Sakura between her tears. Syaoran was too stunned to speak but soon found his voice again.
"You- you'll m-marry me?"
"Yes! Yes you dolt! Yes to everything in this world, you crazy fool. I'm having you whether you like it or not." Syaoran picked her up from the bed and spun her around, laughing loudly. He dipped her and gave her a long kiss before letting her up for air. Syaoran crushed Sakura against him and held her tightly.
"I was so scared you'll say no," he said in a weak voice.
"Why would I say no? I don't want our child to be fatherless." Whispered Sakura into his ear, grinning. Syaoran's eyes widened and he put her in front of him to get a good look of her. His gaze lowered to her flat stomach.
"C-Child?" he asked in amazement. Sakura grinned and nodded her head.
"B-but it's still so flat!" he exclaimed in confusion. Sakura laughed and hugged him.
"Of course! It's been only 3 months, you idiot!" Syaoran dazedly stared beyond Sakura's shoulders.
"I'm going to be a father." He rolled the words off his tongue.
It fitted perfectly. Then it hit him.
"I'm going to be a daddy, Sakura! I'm going to be a daddy!" He laughed as he whirled her around. Sakura laughed with joy and kissed him tenderly when he finally set her down.
"You're going to be a great father. Welcome home, Syaoran. Welcome home."
Though I've gone so far away
I'll return again someday
I will find my way back home
We will never be apart
I will hold you in my heart
I will find my way back home