A/N: Here we go, chappie five, just for you. The end parts are M/L stuff,
so if you don't want Alec's story, skip ahead now. Second and third
sections are for you.
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
Chapter 5: Confrontations
It seemed like hours before Alec stopped sobbing, and hours more that he just stayed in her arms, warm and protected. His mind felt fuzzy, and he was so tired, but despite his exhaustion, he still had a million unanswered questions.
He sat up, slightly away from her, but still holding on, as if she would disappear the moment he let go.
She was smiling at him, and he realized just how much she meant to him.
"Alec," her smile widened, "It suits you. Better than Simon, I think."
He couldn't bring himself to smile back at her, no matter how thrilled he was that she was alive.
"I killed you, I went to your grave, I killed you."
Gently, Rachel placed her hand on Alec's lips. "I woke up. Eight or nine months after you came back. My father had that article published and a funeral arranged to trick you. In case you ever decided to finish the job." Now Rachel looked down. Alec tilted her chin up so her eyes met his again.
"I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was. I could have done more to save you. I just never realized what it – how it felt..." He trailed off, ashamed of his display. Sensing this, Rachel took him in her arms again.
"After I woke up, it was in the middle of the war, and I was pretty disoriented. I remembered voices from my sleep, and the one I remembered most clearly was yours. I still didn't know, not then, but as I became more aware of the situation, I realized what you were. I spoke with my father, and somehow, probably through old contacts, he managed to procure some of the Manticore database. Mostly personnel files. I looked through so many, and I thought that yours wasn't there, or that maybe I had imagined the barcode, but then I found it."
Alec couldn't look in her eyes now. After reading his file... No, this wasn't right. Surely she couldn't forgive him after that.
"Alec, I don't blame you." Her voice was gentle now, almost a whisper. "What they did to you... The worst part is, you don't know the half of it, they took away the memories. Technically, I know more about you than you do."
"And is that supposed to make me feel better?" Alec's shout came out ragged. He stood up suddenly, and he seemed so much larger looming over her like that. She felt a brief stab of fear, and then forced herself to calm down. He was feeling vulnerable and so tried to intimidate her.
"Sit down, Alec."
"No." His voice could have frozen boiling water. "You think you know so much, you don't know me."
"I know that I'm the first person you ever loved. That ever loved you."
He didn't move for long moments. She wondered if he would leave now, unable to deal with his guilt and her understanding. Her pity.
He sat, slowly. She took his hands and just sat with him. He was still confused, exhausted, and the last thing he wanted was this.
"Come on." After a long time, she stood and guided him to his feet. Opening the door slowly, she saw one of the men from before, another transgenic she guessed.
"I'm taking him home." She murmured, knowing the man would hear her. Seeing the crowd had dispersed, she made her way out of the building, Alec following like a lost puppy, as quickly as possible.
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere safe." Alec looked as if he might press the issue, but Rachel stopped and turned to him. "Trust me."
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
"Logan? Are you here?" Max's call was answered with silence, though the darkness and stillness of the apartment told her the story long before she entered.
Sighing, Max leaned her bike against the wall and stripped off her gloves. She had returned briefly to Jam Pony to sign out and check on Alec and Rachel, who, she had been told by Mel, had left an hour ago. She had stopped on the way home to pick up a peace offering, and ended up losing it when she got into a fight with some drunk bigots who recognized her from T.V.
*I hate days like this.* She dropped her bag with a thump and made her way into the kitchen, helping herself to an apple. Biting into the crisp sweetness, she flopped onto the couch, hoping Logan would be back soon. This was starting to worry her.
*Flash*
"I can't do it, you selfish prig!"
"It's my life at stake!"
*Flash*
"He was way better than you ever were!"
"Max, don't-"
*Flash*
"I hate you!"
"If you really feel that way, than maybe I should leave."
"You do that."
*Flash*
Max groaned. She couldn't have... She wouldn't have... Would she?
As another memory from the previous evening climbed into her conscious.
There was no doubt. She had. And she could only pray he never remembered.
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
Bessie sat idling as Logan debated whether or not this was a good idea. She had cheated on him, for goodness sake. He'd never thought he'd see the day. But then again, she had been drunk, and as far as he knew, that wasn't possible for a transgenic.
*Hmm, I'll hafta revise that opinion.*
He smiled grimly. Glancing upward, he saw that their apartment light was on. Either an enterprising thief, or more likely, Max was home. In a few minutes, he got his answer when he saw Max's tear streaked face at the window. She scrubbed at her face briefly, and then must have decided against such a futile exercise, because more tears appeared to take their place.
She turned and left the window, and Logan felt his resolve crumble. He turned off Bessie and made his way upstairs. He opened the door slowly, and shut it as quietly as he could, knowing Max would hear it anyway.
He rounded the screen into the living room where Max was, slumped on the couch.
"Hey." His voice was soft.
"I'm so sorry Logan. I didn't mean to."
"I know. I was angry at first, but this situation is getting to me to."
Carefully they hugged, Max making sure not to touch any part of his bare skin.
"I don't think he knows, and if he does remember, he has a little much on his mind right now."
Logan nodded. "We'll work this out. How about some dinner right now though. You look a little off."
"Yeah, that would be nice." Max followed after Logan, guilt wracking her, unable to forgive herself as easily as Logan had.
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
I decided to answer a few of my reviewers, just cause I think it would be fun.
SuzyQ: Thanks, really thank you for your compliments, and it's true, I really should write for myself, but I'm one of those people who needs to hear she's doing a good job. I'm pretty shy about my writing, it took ages to get up the nerve to post anything. But still, thank you.
Adoria: Are you a mind reader? ;)
Idlehands452: I'm glad you like the story, well, the M/L bits anyway, but like I said earlier, this is and Alec centric story. I am mixing it up a bit, but I don't have much experience writing shipper stories, I normally avoid them like the plague, so it's slow going for me.
Anywho, that's all from me for now, the next chappie should be up in a few days time. Cheers for the reviews, and keep 'em coming, I need all the encouragement I can get! Seeya round!
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
Chapter 5: Confrontations
It seemed like hours before Alec stopped sobbing, and hours more that he just stayed in her arms, warm and protected. His mind felt fuzzy, and he was so tired, but despite his exhaustion, he still had a million unanswered questions.
He sat up, slightly away from her, but still holding on, as if she would disappear the moment he let go.
She was smiling at him, and he realized just how much she meant to him.
"Alec," her smile widened, "It suits you. Better than Simon, I think."
He couldn't bring himself to smile back at her, no matter how thrilled he was that she was alive.
"I killed you, I went to your grave, I killed you."
Gently, Rachel placed her hand on Alec's lips. "I woke up. Eight or nine months after you came back. My father had that article published and a funeral arranged to trick you. In case you ever decided to finish the job." Now Rachel looked down. Alec tilted her chin up so her eyes met his again.
"I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was. I could have done more to save you. I just never realized what it – how it felt..." He trailed off, ashamed of his display. Sensing this, Rachel took him in her arms again.
"After I woke up, it was in the middle of the war, and I was pretty disoriented. I remembered voices from my sleep, and the one I remembered most clearly was yours. I still didn't know, not then, but as I became more aware of the situation, I realized what you were. I spoke with my father, and somehow, probably through old contacts, he managed to procure some of the Manticore database. Mostly personnel files. I looked through so many, and I thought that yours wasn't there, or that maybe I had imagined the barcode, but then I found it."
Alec couldn't look in her eyes now. After reading his file... No, this wasn't right. Surely she couldn't forgive him after that.
"Alec, I don't blame you." Her voice was gentle now, almost a whisper. "What they did to you... The worst part is, you don't know the half of it, they took away the memories. Technically, I know more about you than you do."
"And is that supposed to make me feel better?" Alec's shout came out ragged. He stood up suddenly, and he seemed so much larger looming over her like that. She felt a brief stab of fear, and then forced herself to calm down. He was feeling vulnerable and so tried to intimidate her.
"Sit down, Alec."
"No." His voice could have frozen boiling water. "You think you know so much, you don't know me."
"I know that I'm the first person you ever loved. That ever loved you."
He didn't move for long moments. She wondered if he would leave now, unable to deal with his guilt and her understanding. Her pity.
He sat, slowly. She took his hands and just sat with him. He was still confused, exhausted, and the last thing he wanted was this.
"Come on." After a long time, she stood and guided him to his feet. Opening the door slowly, she saw one of the men from before, another transgenic she guessed.
"I'm taking him home." She murmured, knowing the man would hear her. Seeing the crowd had dispersed, she made her way out of the building, Alec following like a lost puppy, as quickly as possible.
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere safe." Alec looked as if he might press the issue, but Rachel stopped and turned to him. "Trust me."
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
"Logan? Are you here?" Max's call was answered with silence, though the darkness and stillness of the apartment told her the story long before she entered.
Sighing, Max leaned her bike against the wall and stripped off her gloves. She had returned briefly to Jam Pony to sign out and check on Alec and Rachel, who, she had been told by Mel, had left an hour ago. She had stopped on the way home to pick up a peace offering, and ended up losing it when she got into a fight with some drunk bigots who recognized her from T.V.
*I hate days like this.* She dropped her bag with a thump and made her way into the kitchen, helping herself to an apple. Biting into the crisp sweetness, she flopped onto the couch, hoping Logan would be back soon. This was starting to worry her.
*Flash*
"I can't do it, you selfish prig!"
"It's my life at stake!"
*Flash*
"He was way better than you ever were!"
"Max, don't-"
*Flash*
"I hate you!"
"If you really feel that way, than maybe I should leave."
"You do that."
*Flash*
Max groaned. She couldn't have... She wouldn't have... Would she?
As another memory from the previous evening climbed into her conscious.
There was no doubt. She had. And she could only pray he never remembered.
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
Bessie sat idling as Logan debated whether or not this was a good idea. She had cheated on him, for goodness sake. He'd never thought he'd see the day. But then again, she had been drunk, and as far as he knew, that wasn't possible for a transgenic.
*Hmm, I'll hafta revise that opinion.*
He smiled grimly. Glancing upward, he saw that their apartment light was on. Either an enterprising thief, or more likely, Max was home. In a few minutes, he got his answer when he saw Max's tear streaked face at the window. She scrubbed at her face briefly, and then must have decided against such a futile exercise, because more tears appeared to take their place.
She turned and left the window, and Logan felt his resolve crumble. He turned off Bessie and made his way upstairs. He opened the door slowly, and shut it as quietly as he could, knowing Max would hear it anyway.
He rounded the screen into the living room where Max was, slumped on the couch.
"Hey." His voice was soft.
"I'm so sorry Logan. I didn't mean to."
"I know. I was angry at first, but this situation is getting to me to."
Carefully they hugged, Max making sure not to touch any part of his bare skin.
"I don't think he knows, and if he does remember, he has a little much on his mind right now."
Logan nodded. "We'll work this out. How about some dinner right now though. You look a little off."
"Yeah, that would be nice." Max followed after Logan, guilt wracking her, unable to forgive herself as easily as Logan had.
~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~
I decided to answer a few of my reviewers, just cause I think it would be fun.
SuzyQ: Thanks, really thank you for your compliments, and it's true, I really should write for myself, but I'm one of those people who needs to hear she's doing a good job. I'm pretty shy about my writing, it took ages to get up the nerve to post anything. But still, thank you.
Adoria: Are you a mind reader? ;)
Idlehands452: I'm glad you like the story, well, the M/L bits anyway, but like I said earlier, this is and Alec centric story. I am mixing it up a bit, but I don't have much experience writing shipper stories, I normally avoid them like the plague, so it's slow going for me.
Anywho, that's all from me for now, the next chappie should be up in a few days time. Cheers for the reviews, and keep 'em coming, I need all the encouragement I can get! Seeya round!