Aiya minna-san! First of all thanks for reading my fic and supporting it! I really appreciate the encouragement. Well, here's the continuation to my fic series, Card Captor Syaoran: The Syaoran Cards, I hope you enjoy it! Well, I wrote this so that you can hear Sakura's side of the story. Please review! Thank you so much!
Standard Disclaimers *insert* here!
Card Captor Syaoran: The Syaoran Cards
Prologue B
Sakura Kinomoto bit her lip. You can't back out now! You know you have to do this! she berated herself. She almost dropped the phone when she heard Li Syaoran's voice at the other end of the line. It sounded exactly the same as she'd heard it before. Deep, rich and serious undertones could be heard in his speech. She could listen to him all day and never grow tired of it. She especially loved it when he called her by her first name. A thousand people have called her by her name before but with him it was different. Coming from him, it sounded special.
Snapping out of her thoughts, she turned her attention back to him. Her heart began to beat faster as she listened to him talk excitedly when he realized it was she who was calling. It's too late to chicken out! This is for the best! For you and for him! a voice inside of her reasoned. She gripped the phone cord as she steeled herself for what she was about to say next. "Li-san, I'm sorry for bothering you so late in the evening but there is something I need to tell you." She started sadly, switching his name to his surname to detach herself from him. This needed to be done. There was no other way. She didn't want to get hurt…again.
"What is it Sakura?" he asked her, fearing what she might say. Sakura felt herself break down a little as she felt tears start to trickle down her face. She had never heard fear in his voice. Never. Even when they had come up against impossible odds, he was always confident. Always putting himself between her and the danger while openly challenging the threat. Li Syaoran feared nothing. But now he spoke with fear. Fear of getting hurt—by her. And it broke her heart that he was fearing her. Fearing what she might say to him. And he was doing it with good reason. She almost hung up on him as she realized this. It was just tearing her up from the inside to do this to him. But that nagging voice inside of her came back. You don't want to get hurt, do you? You know what happens to everyone you love! They all leave you! Something always takes them away! Look at your own mother! You loved her and then death took her away! Runaway while you still can! Don't let yourself get hurt! He would have done it himself eventually. He is countries away! Besides everybody knows that long distance relationships never work! He has a destiny as the future Li clan master. He belongs to China and you don't. Don't do this to yourself or to Syaoran! He deserves someone better! her thoughts debated.
She wiped her tears with her sleeve and sniffed. Finally before loosing her nerve she cried, "I'm sorry, Li-kun. *sniff* I can't do this anymore. It's too hard. " Silence. Cold, hard, deafening silence. She felt regret, pain and sorrow grip her heart like an iron glove. She wished she could have taken back everything she had said but she knew she couldn't. So she stood there quietly sobbing, breathlessly awaiting his reply. Would he ask her why? If he did, how could she respond to a question that she wasn't sure she could quite answer herself? Would he plead her to stay? Would he pledge his undying love and not let her go? Everything within her hoped that this was so. She wanted so much to be reassured. For her fears to be forever put to rest. For her doubts to be chased away. But instead, "I see, Kinomoto-san." he said coldly. His coldness sent a shiver down her spine. She had never heard him use that tone with her since the first day they met. She sobbed harder as she inwardly cursed herself. Why was she crying? She wanted this to happen. It was for the best. She should be happy! But she was not. And right then she wasn't so sure if she would ever be again. "I understand. Then there is no reason why this call should take any longer than it has, now is there? " he spat sarcastically. She cried harder, his words slapping her across her face. "Good bye Sakura Kinomoto." He said coldly as he slammed the receiver down. All throughout this she didn't utter a single word. She couldn't! Speech left her as her heart tore into a million pieces. All the color drained from her face as she barely heard him. He had said good bye to her. It was so formal…so final. And that was when reality hit her…she would never see him again. Never. He wouldn't want to after what she just did to him.
But it was for the best, she told herself, it had to be done. And this is what she repeated to herself. "It was for the best. It had to be done." She said it over and over again as her mantra. She spent the whole night like this. She had to do it! She didn't want to get hurt! Thank God Touya was studying late at Yukito's tonight and that her father and Kero were already asleep. She went through her nightly routine chanting her mantra. While she was eating her dinner, doing her homework, changing for bed and brushing her teeth she repeated it almost robotically. What she didn't notice though was the tears that accompanied her every chant. Or maybe she didn't want to notice them. And as she lay on her bed waiting for sleep to claim her, she continued chanting. "It was for the best. It had to be done." And as sleep finally temporarily relieved her of the pain from the ever-growing hole in her heart, she carried the mantra with her. Hoping that one day, she wished someday soon, she would come to believe in them…
Well, how did you like it? I hope you did! PLEASE REVIEW! So I'll know if it sucked or not! Please email me webmistress@rkfan.com if you wish! I know it's been depressing so far but a few chapters more and it'll get better! Please please REVIEW! ALL forms of feedback are welcome! This is a S+S fic!