My God, you all absolutely hate me! *sobs brokenly on desk* I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry! *sniff*
*~*~*
She lay with her face to the bulkhead, not moving, not sleeping, not eating. Nestled in blankets that still smelt of him, she stared at the intricate carvings before her, trying to ignore the pain that would not let her be.
He was gone. Jack, her husband, the only man she had ever loved . . . gone. Before she had had a chance to apologise for her appalling behaviour that day. He had died with the imprint of her hand still on her cheek, the memory of her anger fresh in his heart. She had never apologised, and now never would.
No tears would come. Whereas for Elias, the grief had been brief and biting, this was cold, numb, dry. She could not stir herself to move, not to eat, not to drink. If she closed her eyes, all she saw was his face smiling down at her, no oblivion of sleep would come. There was no way to describe the desolation that filled her, ripping into her soul and tearing from her the last vestiges of happiness. He was gone.
'Marin?'
James knelt beside the bunk, disturbed by the sight of the meal they had left over three hours before untouched, and his cousin unchanged. He glanced up at Gibbs, worry written clearly over his features. The older man shrugged, gesturing for James to touch her.
He laid his hand on her shoulder, hoping for at least some reaction, but there was nothing. She didn't even move to shake his hand off her. This would be so much easier if she was crying, he thought. He could deal with tears. But the silence and stillness frightened him more than he could say.
'Marin, the Dragon is coming up on the starboard side,' he told the unmoving girl. 'Would you like to come on deck and greet them?'
Again nothing, no sign that she even heard him. He squeezed her shoulder gently, wishing he had the courage to turn her about and hold her close to him. But most of all he wished he could make it all go away. It should have been him to die last night, not Jack. Marin did not deserve this pain, not on top of all she had suffered over the past year. But then, fate didn't always play fair, did it?
There was a knock at the door. Harry slipped into the silent cabin, glancing from Gibbs to James to Marin, and back to Gibbs, conflicting emotions flickering across his young face.
'Sir, the Dragon's pulling alongside, and Captain Turner is asking permission to come aboard,' he said, his soft accent lilting with the sadness they all felt following the loss of their own captain.
Gibbs nodded, sending the lad back on deck without a word. He turned to James.
'We should get up there,' he said quietly. 'Will and Elizabeth'll want to know what's happened.'
James frowned, nodding in agreement as he looked back at his grieving cousin.
'Will you come up with us?' he asked her, hoping for any response, even if she just swore at him.
She didn't move, didn't speak, not even a sigh. Admitting defeat, he rose, gently kissing her temple before he left. There was no other way he could tell her how much he cared. He joined Gibbs at the door, and together the two men slipped out onto the main deck.
'Not a peep out of her for seven hours,' Gibbs mused.
James nodded gloomily.
'And there's nothing we can do,' he muttered bitterly.
He lashed out angrily, slamming his fist against the mast as they passed it.
'It should have been me lost, not him!' he snapped, his eyes blazing with fury at the powers that be.
Alarmed, Gibbs grasped his arm, pulling him away from the mast before he did himself an injury. He didn't notice the boarding plank thump into place as the Dragon secured herself alongside, too caught up in his former commander's grief.
'Now, sir, you can't go blaming yerself,' he said soothingly. 'Twas not yer time to go.'
A single tear rolled from beneath James' tightly closed eyelids as he fought to contain the raging emotion within him.
'Marin doesn't deserve this,' he muttered, letting Gibbs' hands on his shoulders support and bolster him, drawing him up from his grief.
'Aye, that she doesn't,' Gibbs agreed, glancing over the younger man's shoulder.
His jaw dropped.
'Mary, Mother of God, how did ye survive that?' he exclaimed.
A very familiar voice answered him.
'Well, mate, I roped a couple of sea turtles and rode them to the Dragon, where young William tempted me aboard with a large measure of rum. Savvy?'
James turned incredulous eyes onto Captain Jack Sparrow, standing before him large as life, looking a little the worse for wear but definitely still there. Jack grinned at him.
'You look like you've seen a ghost, mate,' he commented.
Unable to speak for the unprecedented joy that coursed through him on seeing the irascible pirate once more, James grasped his hand, pulling the captain into a warm embrace. Surprised, Jack let himself be clapped on the back several times as James began to laugh, more relieved than he could express.
'You're a sight for sore eyes, Jack,' he said warmly, still shaking the man's hand as he pulled back.
Jack grinned again, his eyes a little wild from this unexpected welcome. He looked the other man over, checking for any signs of lasting damage from his rough retrieval from the ocean.
'As are you, mate,' he shot back. 'You got back on board, I see?'
James arched an eyebrow at this statement of the blindingly obvious.
'No, I'm a figment of your deranged imagination,' he said acidly.
Jack laughed.
'Now that's the commodore I'm used to,' he chuckled. 'Good to see you well, Jim.'
'James,' came the weary correction.
Jack shrugged.
'Whatever,' he muttered, turning to bow to his crew with a wide grin.
A grin that faded slowly as he realised there was one crew member not on deck to greet him. He glanced at James and Gibbs, a question in his eyes before he put it into words.
'Where's Marin?' he asked quietly, a frown on his face as he turned back to the two men.
James exchanged a look with Gibbs.
'In your cabin,' he told the captain, grasping his arm as Jack turned to make his way there. 'But look, Jack, she's not . . . well . . .'
Gibbs rescued him before he could dig himself a pit he couldn't get out of.
'When we told her ye'd been lost overboard, she took it hard,' he told his captain, watching as the words sank in. 'Hasn't eaten or slept since, nor moved neither.'
Jack's frown deepened as his eyes flicked back to James for confirmation of this. The navy man nodded solemnly.
'She hasn't spoken a word since last night,' he added. 'Be gentle with her, Jack.'
He watched as Jack nodded slowly, turning to enter his cabin quietly with a reassuring grin for those he left on the deck.
The cabin was silent. Silent as the grave, Jack thought, remembering an instruction once given to him by the man who was now his cousin by marriage. Huddled on the bed, her red hair a stark contrast to the white shirt she wore, was Marin, still and unmoving. For a moment, he was afraid she was dead, until his ears picked up the soft sigh of her breathing.
His boots made no sound as he walked across to her, sitting on the bed to wrap gentle fingers about her upper arm. She didn't give any sign of having felt the touch, her eyes fixed on the bulkhead before her, unseeing as she endeavoured to ignore him. Jack smiled to himself, feeling a little guilty for the pain she was feeling.
He leant down, his lips close to her ears and murmured,
'Morning, love.'
She jumped, startled, rolling over to cast half-afraid incredulous eyes on him. He smiled down at her.
'Jack?'
He inclined his head to her, his grin widening as she let out a surprised gasp.
'Captain Jack,' he corrected gently, 'but yes, it's Jack.'
Marin let out a low cry, throwing her arms about him. The force of her embrace threw him off-balance and they landed with a thud on the deck, wrapped in each other's arms. Jack let himself enjoy the moment, savouring the knowledge that someone cared for him so much she was prepared to starve herself rather than live without him. He held her tightly as she sobbed in relief, clutching to him as though he was a dream she could wake from at any moment.
'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,' she cried, her voice muffled by his shoulder. 'I shouldn't have slapped you, I'm sorry . . .'
Jack pulled back a little, cradling her jaw in his hand as she looked up at him with tearful eyes.
'It was nothing I didn't deserve, love,' he said softly.
She smiled through her tears, her eyes taking in every detail of his face and appearance in wonder.
'You're alive,' she murmured, reaching up to trace his jawline with trembling fingers. 'They said you were lost.'
Jack chuckled, leaning into her tender touch. He had missed her, though they had only been apart one night.
'Love, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow,' he told her.
She gave him an exasperated look, raising her hand to thump his arm. He caught her wrist with a laugh, pulling her up in his arms as he slipped up onto the bunk. Leaning down, he kissed her, for the first time since their argument the day before, and was overjoyed to feel her respond so lovingly to his touch. Drawing back, he planted a kiss on her nose, looking down into steely grey eyes that had somehow lost their edge as she returned the gaze.
'I thought you were dead,' she said softly. 'And it almost killed me.'
He lay beside her, nose to nose, watching the fatigue of her vigil catch up with her. As her eyes drifted shut, he smiled, stroking her hair from her face with a gentleness not many would expect from him.
'Marin?'
She smiled sleepily, forcing her eyes open to look into his as he kissed her softly again.
'I love you,' Jack murmured, holding her gaze as she blinked wearily. 'That's why I married you. Not for treasure, or any promises I might have made. I love you.'
Marin reached out, gently running her hand over his hair as he drew her closer in his arms.
'Thank you,' she said softly, nestling as close as she could to the man she loved.
Jack smiled, dropping another tender kiss on her temple as she pressed herself closer to him, her arms slipping about his waist in a possessive grasp. He lay there, listening to her regular breathing, and thanking his stars that he had finally said it, even if she had no answer to give him.
And then, almost inaudible against his throat, Marin mumbled,
'I love you, too.'
*~*~*
She lay with her face to the bulkhead, not moving, not sleeping, not eating. Nestled in blankets that still smelt of him, she stared at the intricate carvings before her, trying to ignore the pain that would not let her be.
He was gone. Jack, her husband, the only man she had ever loved . . . gone. Before she had had a chance to apologise for her appalling behaviour that day. He had died with the imprint of her hand still on her cheek, the memory of her anger fresh in his heart. She had never apologised, and now never would.
No tears would come. Whereas for Elias, the grief had been brief and biting, this was cold, numb, dry. She could not stir herself to move, not to eat, not to drink. If she closed her eyes, all she saw was his face smiling down at her, no oblivion of sleep would come. There was no way to describe the desolation that filled her, ripping into her soul and tearing from her the last vestiges of happiness. He was gone.
'Marin?'
James knelt beside the bunk, disturbed by the sight of the meal they had left over three hours before untouched, and his cousin unchanged. He glanced up at Gibbs, worry written clearly over his features. The older man shrugged, gesturing for James to touch her.
He laid his hand on her shoulder, hoping for at least some reaction, but there was nothing. She didn't even move to shake his hand off her. This would be so much easier if she was crying, he thought. He could deal with tears. But the silence and stillness frightened him more than he could say.
'Marin, the Dragon is coming up on the starboard side,' he told the unmoving girl. 'Would you like to come on deck and greet them?'
Again nothing, no sign that she even heard him. He squeezed her shoulder gently, wishing he had the courage to turn her about and hold her close to him. But most of all he wished he could make it all go away. It should have been him to die last night, not Jack. Marin did not deserve this pain, not on top of all she had suffered over the past year. But then, fate didn't always play fair, did it?
There was a knock at the door. Harry slipped into the silent cabin, glancing from Gibbs to James to Marin, and back to Gibbs, conflicting emotions flickering across his young face.
'Sir, the Dragon's pulling alongside, and Captain Turner is asking permission to come aboard,' he said, his soft accent lilting with the sadness they all felt following the loss of their own captain.
Gibbs nodded, sending the lad back on deck without a word. He turned to James.
'We should get up there,' he said quietly. 'Will and Elizabeth'll want to know what's happened.'
James frowned, nodding in agreement as he looked back at his grieving cousin.
'Will you come up with us?' he asked her, hoping for any response, even if she just swore at him.
She didn't move, didn't speak, not even a sigh. Admitting defeat, he rose, gently kissing her temple before he left. There was no other way he could tell her how much he cared. He joined Gibbs at the door, and together the two men slipped out onto the main deck.
'Not a peep out of her for seven hours,' Gibbs mused.
James nodded gloomily.
'And there's nothing we can do,' he muttered bitterly.
He lashed out angrily, slamming his fist against the mast as they passed it.
'It should have been me lost, not him!' he snapped, his eyes blazing with fury at the powers that be.
Alarmed, Gibbs grasped his arm, pulling him away from the mast before he did himself an injury. He didn't notice the boarding plank thump into place as the Dragon secured herself alongside, too caught up in his former commander's grief.
'Now, sir, you can't go blaming yerself,' he said soothingly. 'Twas not yer time to go.'
A single tear rolled from beneath James' tightly closed eyelids as he fought to contain the raging emotion within him.
'Marin doesn't deserve this,' he muttered, letting Gibbs' hands on his shoulders support and bolster him, drawing him up from his grief.
'Aye, that she doesn't,' Gibbs agreed, glancing over the younger man's shoulder.
His jaw dropped.
'Mary, Mother of God, how did ye survive that?' he exclaimed.
A very familiar voice answered him.
'Well, mate, I roped a couple of sea turtles and rode them to the Dragon, where young William tempted me aboard with a large measure of rum. Savvy?'
James turned incredulous eyes onto Captain Jack Sparrow, standing before him large as life, looking a little the worse for wear but definitely still there. Jack grinned at him.
'You look like you've seen a ghost, mate,' he commented.
Unable to speak for the unprecedented joy that coursed through him on seeing the irascible pirate once more, James grasped his hand, pulling the captain into a warm embrace. Surprised, Jack let himself be clapped on the back several times as James began to laugh, more relieved than he could express.
'You're a sight for sore eyes, Jack,' he said warmly, still shaking the man's hand as he pulled back.
Jack grinned again, his eyes a little wild from this unexpected welcome. He looked the other man over, checking for any signs of lasting damage from his rough retrieval from the ocean.
'As are you, mate,' he shot back. 'You got back on board, I see?'
James arched an eyebrow at this statement of the blindingly obvious.
'No, I'm a figment of your deranged imagination,' he said acidly.
Jack laughed.
'Now that's the commodore I'm used to,' he chuckled. 'Good to see you well, Jim.'
'James,' came the weary correction.
Jack shrugged.
'Whatever,' he muttered, turning to bow to his crew with a wide grin.
A grin that faded slowly as he realised there was one crew member not on deck to greet him. He glanced at James and Gibbs, a question in his eyes before he put it into words.
'Where's Marin?' he asked quietly, a frown on his face as he turned back to the two men.
James exchanged a look with Gibbs.
'In your cabin,' he told the captain, grasping his arm as Jack turned to make his way there. 'But look, Jack, she's not . . . well . . .'
Gibbs rescued him before he could dig himself a pit he couldn't get out of.
'When we told her ye'd been lost overboard, she took it hard,' he told his captain, watching as the words sank in. 'Hasn't eaten or slept since, nor moved neither.'
Jack's frown deepened as his eyes flicked back to James for confirmation of this. The navy man nodded solemnly.
'She hasn't spoken a word since last night,' he added. 'Be gentle with her, Jack.'
He watched as Jack nodded slowly, turning to enter his cabin quietly with a reassuring grin for those he left on the deck.
The cabin was silent. Silent as the grave, Jack thought, remembering an instruction once given to him by the man who was now his cousin by marriage. Huddled on the bed, her red hair a stark contrast to the white shirt she wore, was Marin, still and unmoving. For a moment, he was afraid she was dead, until his ears picked up the soft sigh of her breathing.
His boots made no sound as he walked across to her, sitting on the bed to wrap gentle fingers about her upper arm. She didn't give any sign of having felt the touch, her eyes fixed on the bulkhead before her, unseeing as she endeavoured to ignore him. Jack smiled to himself, feeling a little guilty for the pain she was feeling.
He leant down, his lips close to her ears and murmured,
'Morning, love.'
She jumped, startled, rolling over to cast half-afraid incredulous eyes on him. He smiled down at her.
'Jack?'
He inclined his head to her, his grin widening as she let out a surprised gasp.
'Captain Jack,' he corrected gently, 'but yes, it's Jack.'
Marin let out a low cry, throwing her arms about him. The force of her embrace threw him off-balance and they landed with a thud on the deck, wrapped in each other's arms. Jack let himself enjoy the moment, savouring the knowledge that someone cared for him so much she was prepared to starve herself rather than live without him. He held her tightly as she sobbed in relief, clutching to him as though he was a dream she could wake from at any moment.
'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,' she cried, her voice muffled by his shoulder. 'I shouldn't have slapped you, I'm sorry . . .'
Jack pulled back a little, cradling her jaw in his hand as she looked up at him with tearful eyes.
'It was nothing I didn't deserve, love,' he said softly.
She smiled through her tears, her eyes taking in every detail of his face and appearance in wonder.
'You're alive,' she murmured, reaching up to trace his jawline with trembling fingers. 'They said you were lost.'
Jack chuckled, leaning into her tender touch. He had missed her, though they had only been apart one night.
'Love, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow,' he told her.
She gave him an exasperated look, raising her hand to thump his arm. He caught her wrist with a laugh, pulling her up in his arms as he slipped up onto the bunk. Leaning down, he kissed her, for the first time since their argument the day before, and was overjoyed to feel her respond so lovingly to his touch. Drawing back, he planted a kiss on her nose, looking down into steely grey eyes that had somehow lost their edge as she returned the gaze.
'I thought you were dead,' she said softly. 'And it almost killed me.'
He lay beside her, nose to nose, watching the fatigue of her vigil catch up with her. As her eyes drifted shut, he smiled, stroking her hair from her face with a gentleness not many would expect from him.
'Marin?'
She smiled sleepily, forcing her eyes open to look into his as he kissed her softly again.
'I love you,' Jack murmured, holding her gaze as she blinked wearily. 'That's why I married you. Not for treasure, or any promises I might have made. I love you.'
Marin reached out, gently running her hand over his hair as he drew her closer in his arms.
'Thank you,' she said softly, nestling as close as she could to the man she loved.
Jack smiled, dropping another tender kiss on her temple as she pressed herself closer to him, her arms slipping about his waist in a possessive grasp. He lay there, listening to her regular breathing, and thanking his stars that he had finally said it, even if she had no answer to give him.
And then, almost inaudible against his throat, Marin mumbled,
'I love you, too.'