Hermione gathered her wits quickly, taking several deep breaths to compose
herself. Mortification flushed her cheeks in a brilliant scarlet, and she
was forced once again to question her actions. Kissing Snape? Her strange
attraction to him was closely linked to the fact that she was seeing him
more and more as her rescuer, her protector from those who would seek to
cause her harm. The gratitude she felt towards him had been somehow skewed
into sexual attraction. Dangerous sexual attraction at that, she hardly
knew the man!
Glancing over at him, she met his eyes briefly and gave a small nod to tell him that she would speak with Dumbledore first. Snape gave her a curious look, but shrugged his agreement anyway. Hermione bit back a sigh and forced herself to sit up on the bed, straightening her skirt and blouse, noticing that the top button had somehow managed to become undone and doing it up hurriedly with fingers that were less than steady. She was aware of Dumbledore's benign expression and patient air, but knew not to test his generosity, and so she moved quickly across the room to sit on the rug next to the fireplace where he waited.
"Headmaster," she said softly, reaching out a hand to within inches of his face. "It is so good to see you again."
That at least was true; she had never forgotten his generosity towards her. He had acted to help her despite his better judgment, and Hermione was profoundly grateful. She lifted her soft brown eyes to his blue ones, and found them twinkling delightedly.
"Ah Miss Granger, we have much catching up to do," he chuckled. "The years since we last met have treated you well?"
"Very," Hermione replied faintly. "Thank you. But I feel that I should explain . . . the delay in my arrival at Hogwarts, Headmaster . . . it is my fault. You see, I was adamant that I would not return quite so soon, and Professor Snape suggested that he bring me here first, as a halfway house of sorts," the words tumbled out and she straightened her posture a little. She made a conscious decision not to mention that she had been brought to Snape's house by force, and if Dumbledore suspected her of lying, he showed no indication of it.
"I do intend to return, Headmaster." She continued. "Imminently."
Dumbledore nodded, and Hermione saw his gaze slide past her to Snape, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Good," he nodded. "Very good. It is important, Miss Granger . . ." his voice had once more become serious ". . . that you return to the castle as soon as possible. You are needed." He gave her a long, meaningful look that left Hermione in no doubt that what he said was true, and then he was addressing Snape.
"Severus, would you leave us for a moment?"
Snape gave a low noise of obvious annoyance and stalked from the room without a word. Hermione wondered what was so important that it had to be said to her privately. She looked at Dumbledore expectantly. His expression was grave.
"One more thing, Hermione," he said softly. "I would discourage you to form any . . . attachments before you hear what it is that I must tell you."
Hermione's confusion was obvious. Why would Dumbledore warn her off Snape?
"I'm not sure that I understand what you mean, Headmaster," she said carefully. Dumbledore frowned.
"Professor Snape, Hermione," he said warningly. The tone of his voice suggested that she should not ask 'why'.
"I see." She didn't, but saw no reason why Dumbledore should know this.
"Excellent." He was nodding his approval. "Well then, I will be expecting you within the hour."
"Within the hour," she repeated dully. "Until then, Headmaster."
"Until then, Hermione." Dumbledore beamed, and with a quiet pop, disappeared. The fire returned to burning normally, and Hermione stood up and walked slowly over to the window.
Pulling aside one of the heavy curtains she looked out into the world beyond the window. There was not much to see, she was in a small narrow street that ran end to end with small terraced houses and wrought iron railings. Snow was falling steadily and had already coated most of the cobbles in the centre of the street. A wizarding street then, Hermione decided. Where there were cobbles there were certainly not cars. She turned away briefly as the door into the room opened and Snape re-entered, his face like thunder. It softened a little as he saw her bewildered expression.
"Come away from the window," he instructed quietly. "The Dark Lord's spies are everywhere."
Hermione pulled the curtain closed again and sighed heavily. She found herself close to tears again, horribly confused and weary.
"How did it come to this, Severus?" She used his given name without even realizing that she had done so, and dropped weakly to her knees, hanging her head. "I am a pawn in a game and there is nothing that I can do about it!"
With a rustling of robes, Snape dropped to his knees beside her. A long finger tilted her chin so that she would look at him. His expression was bleak, and he shook his head.
"You must play the game until the power to make a decision is returned to you," he said simply. "It will only be out of your hands a little longer, be patient."
"I can't!" Tears blurred her vision, and gentle fingers wiped them away.
"You must," he was shaking his head again. "Because there is no other way."
Face crumpling, Hermione buried her face into his robes and he held her gently while she sobbed helplessly into his chest. Long minutes had passed when they eventually subsided into soft hiccups.
"If you seek the truth, seek the once who has the answers," Snape murmured into her hair, and Hermione lifted her head to look into his black eyes, once again remembering Dumbledore's warning to her.
She did not mean to defy him, not really, but he had only warned her against forming any new attachments, and had said nothing about the ones she had already formed, so when he leaned forward to kiss away the tears that tracked down her cheeks she did not push him away or ask him to stop. When he pulled away and looked at her quizzically she pulled him back and let him kiss her desperately, returning it with some desperation of her own. Hermione was not foolish enough to think that this would be allowed once she returned to Hogwarts, but the moment was over all too soon, and they were once more staring at each other curiously.
"I should thank you for telling Dumbledore that you came here willingly," Snape said awkwardly. Hermione shook her head, curls framing her flushed face.
"It doesn't matter now," she said softly.
"You did not have to say what you said." He refuted gently, and Hermione frowned.
"No." She looked down at her knees. "But it was easier that way."
"Not for you." She looked up at him, confused. His eyes glittered strangely. She laid a hand on his black-robed arm and squeezed it a little.
"I am grateful that you brought me here, even against my will. You were right, I was not ready to return," she explained. "But I am now."
Snape winced, and lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"As you wish," he intoned.
"Dumbledore said within the hour," Hermione murmured. Snape sighed heavily.
"Then we are out of time," he said.
"So it would appear," inching closer, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He visibly stiffened.
"What was that for?" He asked, touching the spot where she had kissed him.
"What do you want it to be for?"
"I don't know."
"You saved my life tonight. I owe you much more than that."
Hermione had never knowingly sailed as close to the wind as she was doing now. Feelings that she could not name were swamping her, and she had a sudden urge to do something that she had not done in a long time. Snape was looking at her askance, and two bright spots were glowing high up on his cheeks. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply until the feeling had passed. Climbing unsteadily to her feet, she waited as Snape did the same.
"Would you like some robes? My transfiguration is a little rusty . . ." he wrinkled his nose thoughtfully and Hermione watched as he took a set of his own robes from a cupboard and waved his wand at them. They were instantly changed into a slightly smaller set and a heavy winter cloak, both in a velvety navy blue fabric. Holding them out, he watched silently as she struggled with the long forgotten mechanics before shaking them out and sliding both over her shoulders. As nimble fingers fastened the cloak securely around her, Hermione realized that they were a perfect fit. She smiled shyly as the hood was lifted to cover her head.
"We will have to walk from the gates up to the castle," he explained. "These should keep you warm enough I think . . ." Shrugging into a black velvet cloak of his own, Snape slowly became aware that Hermione would not be able to apparate by herself, and with a sigh he reached out and curled her into his arms.
"Are you ready?" He murmured, and felt a barely discernible nod into his chest.
Within seconds they had disappeared from the house and reappeared in a snow- covered lane before a pair of high gates, topped either side by winged boars. Through the gates and along a sweeping drive stood the castle Hermione remembered so well, all towers and turrets and bright lights against the dark night.
"Hogwarts," she said heavily, her face still buried in Snape's chest. "Oh Merlin. Hogwarts."
She felt, as well as heard his chuckle.
"Correct. Now come."
Releasing her from his embrace, he grasped her hand in his own and gave a little tug so that she would begin walking. Before Hermione could take it in, he had swept her past the gates and into the grounds of the castle proper. She felt a brief tingling all over her skin and looked up at her companion questioningly. He glanced sideways at her and nodded.
"The castle is just reacquainting itself, so to speak. It should not hurt."
"It didn't."
"Good."
Their boots left small prints in the snow, the trail lengthening as they neared the castle. The main doors were perhaps twenty metres away when Hermione stopped suddenly to look back at their path. Two sets of footprints disappeared off towards the gates, and she smiled weakly. Snape must have seen her smile, because he nudged her gently. She looked up at him, surprised by the unexpected tenderness in his eyes.
"Much as you would not expect me to say this, you are not alone Hermione."
"Thank you," touched, she squeezed his hand. He squeezed hers back.
"Whatever happens in the coming days, however you feel, you are not alone."
The veiled warning resounded in her ears, and she nodded solemnly. The bonds which had been formed between them these past weeks were real enough then. Looking back at the castle, it suddenly did not seem so formidable after all.
"I understand." Snow caught in her eyelashes and she blinked it away. "I am ready."
Turning back to the doors, she watched as they swung silently open. Faces were gathered in the entrance hall to greet her. Dumbledore, she could see. Hagrid, McGonagall, friends of old. She sighed wistfully and Snape released her hand and placed his mouth against her ear.
"Go then," he whispered. "They are waiting."
She did not need to be asked twice. Leaving his side, Hermione dashed across the snowy ground and into the waiting arms of the community that she had abandoned so many years ago.
TBC . . .
***
A/N: Sorry, this is a repost, FF.net ate the last upload and it wasn't showing on the system. DistinctVagueness, I think it may have eaten your review as well - I'm so sorry.
This is still not mine! Sorry this has taken a while to update, I have been busy with work etc. I hope this hasn't disappointed, it was written quite quickly. More soon!
Please review - it really does mean a lot to me and helps me to write more (no flaming though!).
Thanks so much to everyone who has already done so, please continue to do so - you *all* give me the encouragement to continue!
Danric-Lover - thanks for your review, it actually spurred me into getting on with it! I hope this is ok for you, I will update as regularly as possible so you don't get really *bad* withdrawal symptoms!
Glancing over at him, she met his eyes briefly and gave a small nod to tell him that she would speak with Dumbledore first. Snape gave her a curious look, but shrugged his agreement anyway. Hermione bit back a sigh and forced herself to sit up on the bed, straightening her skirt and blouse, noticing that the top button had somehow managed to become undone and doing it up hurriedly with fingers that were less than steady. She was aware of Dumbledore's benign expression and patient air, but knew not to test his generosity, and so she moved quickly across the room to sit on the rug next to the fireplace where he waited.
"Headmaster," she said softly, reaching out a hand to within inches of his face. "It is so good to see you again."
That at least was true; she had never forgotten his generosity towards her. He had acted to help her despite his better judgment, and Hermione was profoundly grateful. She lifted her soft brown eyes to his blue ones, and found them twinkling delightedly.
"Ah Miss Granger, we have much catching up to do," he chuckled. "The years since we last met have treated you well?"
"Very," Hermione replied faintly. "Thank you. But I feel that I should explain . . . the delay in my arrival at Hogwarts, Headmaster . . . it is my fault. You see, I was adamant that I would not return quite so soon, and Professor Snape suggested that he bring me here first, as a halfway house of sorts," the words tumbled out and she straightened her posture a little. She made a conscious decision not to mention that she had been brought to Snape's house by force, and if Dumbledore suspected her of lying, he showed no indication of it.
"I do intend to return, Headmaster." She continued. "Imminently."
Dumbledore nodded, and Hermione saw his gaze slide past her to Snape, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Good," he nodded. "Very good. It is important, Miss Granger . . ." his voice had once more become serious ". . . that you return to the castle as soon as possible. You are needed." He gave her a long, meaningful look that left Hermione in no doubt that what he said was true, and then he was addressing Snape.
"Severus, would you leave us for a moment?"
Snape gave a low noise of obvious annoyance and stalked from the room without a word. Hermione wondered what was so important that it had to be said to her privately. She looked at Dumbledore expectantly. His expression was grave.
"One more thing, Hermione," he said softly. "I would discourage you to form any . . . attachments before you hear what it is that I must tell you."
Hermione's confusion was obvious. Why would Dumbledore warn her off Snape?
"I'm not sure that I understand what you mean, Headmaster," she said carefully. Dumbledore frowned.
"Professor Snape, Hermione," he said warningly. The tone of his voice suggested that she should not ask 'why'.
"I see." She didn't, but saw no reason why Dumbledore should know this.
"Excellent." He was nodding his approval. "Well then, I will be expecting you within the hour."
"Within the hour," she repeated dully. "Until then, Headmaster."
"Until then, Hermione." Dumbledore beamed, and with a quiet pop, disappeared. The fire returned to burning normally, and Hermione stood up and walked slowly over to the window.
Pulling aside one of the heavy curtains she looked out into the world beyond the window. There was not much to see, she was in a small narrow street that ran end to end with small terraced houses and wrought iron railings. Snow was falling steadily and had already coated most of the cobbles in the centre of the street. A wizarding street then, Hermione decided. Where there were cobbles there were certainly not cars. She turned away briefly as the door into the room opened and Snape re-entered, his face like thunder. It softened a little as he saw her bewildered expression.
"Come away from the window," he instructed quietly. "The Dark Lord's spies are everywhere."
Hermione pulled the curtain closed again and sighed heavily. She found herself close to tears again, horribly confused and weary.
"How did it come to this, Severus?" She used his given name without even realizing that she had done so, and dropped weakly to her knees, hanging her head. "I am a pawn in a game and there is nothing that I can do about it!"
With a rustling of robes, Snape dropped to his knees beside her. A long finger tilted her chin so that she would look at him. His expression was bleak, and he shook his head.
"You must play the game until the power to make a decision is returned to you," he said simply. "It will only be out of your hands a little longer, be patient."
"I can't!" Tears blurred her vision, and gentle fingers wiped them away.
"You must," he was shaking his head again. "Because there is no other way."
Face crumpling, Hermione buried her face into his robes and he held her gently while she sobbed helplessly into his chest. Long minutes had passed when they eventually subsided into soft hiccups.
"If you seek the truth, seek the once who has the answers," Snape murmured into her hair, and Hermione lifted her head to look into his black eyes, once again remembering Dumbledore's warning to her.
She did not mean to defy him, not really, but he had only warned her against forming any new attachments, and had said nothing about the ones she had already formed, so when he leaned forward to kiss away the tears that tracked down her cheeks she did not push him away or ask him to stop. When he pulled away and looked at her quizzically she pulled him back and let him kiss her desperately, returning it with some desperation of her own. Hermione was not foolish enough to think that this would be allowed once she returned to Hogwarts, but the moment was over all too soon, and they were once more staring at each other curiously.
"I should thank you for telling Dumbledore that you came here willingly," Snape said awkwardly. Hermione shook her head, curls framing her flushed face.
"It doesn't matter now," she said softly.
"You did not have to say what you said." He refuted gently, and Hermione frowned.
"No." She looked down at her knees. "But it was easier that way."
"Not for you." She looked up at him, confused. His eyes glittered strangely. She laid a hand on his black-robed arm and squeezed it a little.
"I am grateful that you brought me here, even against my will. You were right, I was not ready to return," she explained. "But I am now."
Snape winced, and lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"As you wish," he intoned.
"Dumbledore said within the hour," Hermione murmured. Snape sighed heavily.
"Then we are out of time," he said.
"So it would appear," inching closer, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He visibly stiffened.
"What was that for?" He asked, touching the spot where she had kissed him.
"What do you want it to be for?"
"I don't know."
"You saved my life tonight. I owe you much more than that."
Hermione had never knowingly sailed as close to the wind as she was doing now. Feelings that she could not name were swamping her, and she had a sudden urge to do something that she had not done in a long time. Snape was looking at her askance, and two bright spots were glowing high up on his cheeks. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply until the feeling had passed. Climbing unsteadily to her feet, she waited as Snape did the same.
"Would you like some robes? My transfiguration is a little rusty . . ." he wrinkled his nose thoughtfully and Hermione watched as he took a set of his own robes from a cupboard and waved his wand at them. They were instantly changed into a slightly smaller set and a heavy winter cloak, both in a velvety navy blue fabric. Holding them out, he watched silently as she struggled with the long forgotten mechanics before shaking them out and sliding both over her shoulders. As nimble fingers fastened the cloak securely around her, Hermione realized that they were a perfect fit. She smiled shyly as the hood was lifted to cover her head.
"We will have to walk from the gates up to the castle," he explained. "These should keep you warm enough I think . . ." Shrugging into a black velvet cloak of his own, Snape slowly became aware that Hermione would not be able to apparate by herself, and with a sigh he reached out and curled her into his arms.
"Are you ready?" He murmured, and felt a barely discernible nod into his chest.
Within seconds they had disappeared from the house and reappeared in a snow- covered lane before a pair of high gates, topped either side by winged boars. Through the gates and along a sweeping drive stood the castle Hermione remembered so well, all towers and turrets and bright lights against the dark night.
"Hogwarts," she said heavily, her face still buried in Snape's chest. "Oh Merlin. Hogwarts."
She felt, as well as heard his chuckle.
"Correct. Now come."
Releasing her from his embrace, he grasped her hand in his own and gave a little tug so that she would begin walking. Before Hermione could take it in, he had swept her past the gates and into the grounds of the castle proper. She felt a brief tingling all over her skin and looked up at her companion questioningly. He glanced sideways at her and nodded.
"The castle is just reacquainting itself, so to speak. It should not hurt."
"It didn't."
"Good."
Their boots left small prints in the snow, the trail lengthening as they neared the castle. The main doors were perhaps twenty metres away when Hermione stopped suddenly to look back at their path. Two sets of footprints disappeared off towards the gates, and she smiled weakly. Snape must have seen her smile, because he nudged her gently. She looked up at him, surprised by the unexpected tenderness in his eyes.
"Much as you would not expect me to say this, you are not alone Hermione."
"Thank you," touched, she squeezed his hand. He squeezed hers back.
"Whatever happens in the coming days, however you feel, you are not alone."
The veiled warning resounded in her ears, and she nodded solemnly. The bonds which had been formed between them these past weeks were real enough then. Looking back at the castle, it suddenly did not seem so formidable after all.
"I understand." Snow caught in her eyelashes and she blinked it away. "I am ready."
Turning back to the doors, she watched as they swung silently open. Faces were gathered in the entrance hall to greet her. Dumbledore, she could see. Hagrid, McGonagall, friends of old. She sighed wistfully and Snape released her hand and placed his mouth against her ear.
"Go then," he whispered. "They are waiting."
She did not need to be asked twice. Leaving his side, Hermione dashed across the snowy ground and into the waiting arms of the community that she had abandoned so many years ago.
TBC . . .
***
A/N: Sorry, this is a repost, FF.net ate the last upload and it wasn't showing on the system. DistinctVagueness, I think it may have eaten your review as well - I'm so sorry.
This is still not mine! Sorry this has taken a while to update, I have been busy with work etc. I hope this hasn't disappointed, it was written quite quickly. More soon!
Please review - it really does mean a lot to me and helps me to write more (no flaming though!).
Thanks so much to everyone who has already done so, please continue to do so - you *all* give me the encouragement to continue!
Danric-Lover - thanks for your review, it actually spurred me into getting on with it! I hope this is ok for you, I will update as regularly as possible so you don't get really *bad* withdrawal symptoms!