When Hermione woke again, several hours later, the light beyond her windows
was murky, but discernibly different from how it had been before she had
fallen asleep. A glance at her watch told her that it was almost four
o'clock, and it was already getting dark.
Restlessness tore at Hermione's soul as she cast helplessly around the room. She had never imagined that she would spend a Christmas quite like this one, and her spirits dipped further. A small bookcase in one corner of the room caught her eye, but she did not want to read. The escapism of novels would only keep her from the real world for so long . . . and at the moment that was simply not good enough.
Climbing out of bed she wandered to the window and looked at the snow covered castle grounds spread out beneath her. The light was failing, but there was still light enough so that she might go for a short walk. Dressing in her borrowed transfigured robes and cloak only took a few minutes, and then Hermione was striding determinedly towards the entrance hall. She was surprised that she still knew the way, but then time didn't erase all memories, did it? The corridors were unusually deserted; Hermione encountered no one and found herself grateful for it. She did not want to see anybody in her present state of mind; she simply wanted to be alone for a while.
Stepping outside, she breathed in a lungful of cold, crisp air and immediately felt better. The castle grounds too, were deserted, the smooth snow all around a testament to that, and so Hermione set off towards the lake at a gentle pace. A cold breeze lifted her heavy curls away from her face, sending them dancing into the air, and she pulled her cloak a little closer about her, grateful for its' heavy warmth. A small sigh escaped her lips as her thoughts once again turned towards the tasks at hand, and her role in the waking of Harry Potter. A frown drew her fair eyebrows together, and she reached the edge of the lake without really paying much attention to how she got there.
Looking back over the sloping grounds to the castle she smiled briefly at the haphazard path she had followed, admiring the picture-perfectness of the scene laid out in front of her. When she had been a student at Hogwarts the castle had been a home away from home for her, but the way she now felt about it filled her with a sense of foreboding. The task which would surely be appointed to her filled her with sudden dread. Whilst waking her sometime friend was doubtless the right thing to do, Hermione feared the recriminations of her actions. Her mind turned in upon itself, searching out memories she had thought buried long ago, and she blinked once and then twice as they threatened to swamp her.
Reluctantly pulling out her wand, she chanced clearing a small circle of snow around her so that she might sit and think awhile. Curling into the velvet folds of her cloak, she let the scenery before her fade into darkness as the memories resurged and pulled her inexorably downwards.
They were blurry at first, like photographs taken out of focus, and Hermione only experienced small snatches of events, the last Christmas she had spent with her parents before their untimely deaths, the Yule ball in her fourth year which she had attended with Victor . . . her eyes softened a little in bittersweet remembrance and then hardened again as she allowed herself to think of Harry, his face his smile, the serious expression on his face when he had asked her to . . . had asked her. . .
The memory would not come.
She would not allow it.
Shaking her head and feeling a sudden stab of pain in her chest, Hermione looked up to see a black shadow detach itself from the grey walls of the castle and make its' way towards her. The shape covered ground towards her at speed, and she was soon able to discern that it was Snape. His face, when he grew close enough to see his expression, was thunderously angry, and he began to shout at her from a fair distance away.
"What in Merlin's name do you think you are DOING?" He bellowed at her from a distance of perhaps fifty metres, and Hermione scrambled to her feet in sudden fear, watching his approach while clenching and unclenching her small hands into fists at her sides.
"HERMIONE GRANGER! To me, this instant!"
She did not need to be asked twice, and fairly ran over to where the enigmatic professor was standing. She had a moment to observe the astonishing contrast that his black robed form made with the sparkling white snow, and then she was being grasped firmly by the upper arms and shaken so hard that her teeth rattled.
"Stop that!" A sudden flash of anger made her pull away from him, but her feet tangled in her trailing cloak and she found herself keeling abruptly backwards into perhaps a foot of undisturbed snow. Her momentum was such that Snape was pulled over as well, landing heavily on top of her petite form.
For a moment they both lay there, too surprised to do anything at all. Hermione, although squashed, closed her eyes and savoured the warmth of his body on top of hers, but her enjoyment was not to last long.
"You stupid girl!" He hissed. Bracing himself by placing hands on either side of her head, he moved as if to begin climbing to his feet, and Hermione surprised herself by reaching out and grabbing fistfuls of his robes in order to roll him over her and into a patch of snow all of his own. Climbing to her feet, she began to stride determinedly back towards the castle without pausing to check what was going on behind her.
"Hermione!" A strong hand curled around her upper arm and whipped her around to face him. She met his eyes warily and choked back a laugh as she realized that he was covered in clumps of snow which gave the odd impression of an inverted dalmatian, black with white spots. "What is so funny?" Raising a sardonic eyebrow, Snape viewed her sourly.
"I . . . nothing," realizing that he would most likely not understand her strange sense of humour, Hermione hid her smile behind her hand. Snape gave her a little poke and tucked one of her arms into his so that they might resume walking back towards the castle.
"You are not to wander outside of the castle alone, do you understand?" When he spoke again, his tones were much more measured his expression calmer.
"May I ask why?" Hermione turned her petulant face his way, and he frowned.
"You know why," he warned. "And besides, this is the Headmaster's instruction. Do not think to defy him as you would me."
Within a few minutes their feet were clicking on the stone walkways of the castle and Hermione disentangled herself with something approaching regret.
"Thank you professor," she spoke in quiet tones of disdain. "Next time I am in need of a knight in shining armor I know where to find you."
A myriad of emotions crossed Snape's pale face, and two spots of pink appeared high up on his cheekbones.
"You will accompany me to my quarters." His voice was emotionless although he was obviously angry.
"I will do no such thing!" Hermione resisted the urge to stamp her foot.
"Then I will accompany you to yours!"
"Fine!" She whirled and marched in a haze of temper back towards the circular room she was to call home.
In her absence, a fire had been lit and the room was pleasantly warm as night began to fall outside. Cringing as she realized that a house elf was most likely responsible, Hermione removed her cloak and threw it carelessly across one of the wingbacked chairs. Snape copied her gesture before turning to face her. He drew a shuddering breath and then looked over at her, a sober expression in his eyes.
"This is hard for you, I know," he spread his hands in front of him placatingly. "But you must understand that we are only trying to keep you safe . . ."
"You are trying to imprison me!" Hermione cut in heatedly. "I cannot, no will not, live like this! I was only walking, I needed to think!"
"Then do so within the castle walls!" Snape's retort was sufficiently infuriating and Hermione found herself leaning right into him in order to shout up into his face.
"Why me? Why do I have to be the one to do this? I never wanted this! I was happy. . ."
"You were lonely," he shook his head at her.
"That's beside the point. Now answer my question: Why me?" Hermione brushed his telling statement aside. Snape shrugged, his black eyes depthless and unreadable.
"Because there is no one else," he said hoarsely. "You know this."
Holding his arms open to her, Hermione instantly accepted his offer of comfort, laying her head upon his shoulder as he held her close.
"I know," she mumbled brokenly. Snape rubbed her back in soothing circles that calmed her.
"When you are ready you will tell me the story of how you came to leave us in the first place," he spoke into the tangle of her hair, and sighed. "When you can face that, Dumbledore will permit you to do . . . what is required."
"I will tell you," she lifted her face to look at him solemnly, and took a deep breath. "If I can't trust you, who can I?" A sad smile flickered across her wan face. "You have become my knight in shining armor lately; I think I owe you more than I know."
"Nonsense," Snape inclined his head to speak soft words against her ear. "Tell me then, and perhaps we can begin to make sense of all this."
"I don't know where to start," Hermione trembled violently as his warm breath caressed the side of her face.
"The beginning is usually a good place," his smile was mocking.
She took a deep breath to compose herself and found that her mind was made up.
She would tell him everything.
TBC
Restlessness tore at Hermione's soul as she cast helplessly around the room. She had never imagined that she would spend a Christmas quite like this one, and her spirits dipped further. A small bookcase in one corner of the room caught her eye, but she did not want to read. The escapism of novels would only keep her from the real world for so long . . . and at the moment that was simply not good enough.
Climbing out of bed she wandered to the window and looked at the snow covered castle grounds spread out beneath her. The light was failing, but there was still light enough so that she might go for a short walk. Dressing in her borrowed transfigured robes and cloak only took a few minutes, and then Hermione was striding determinedly towards the entrance hall. She was surprised that she still knew the way, but then time didn't erase all memories, did it? The corridors were unusually deserted; Hermione encountered no one and found herself grateful for it. She did not want to see anybody in her present state of mind; she simply wanted to be alone for a while.
Stepping outside, she breathed in a lungful of cold, crisp air and immediately felt better. The castle grounds too, were deserted, the smooth snow all around a testament to that, and so Hermione set off towards the lake at a gentle pace. A cold breeze lifted her heavy curls away from her face, sending them dancing into the air, and she pulled her cloak a little closer about her, grateful for its' heavy warmth. A small sigh escaped her lips as her thoughts once again turned towards the tasks at hand, and her role in the waking of Harry Potter. A frown drew her fair eyebrows together, and she reached the edge of the lake without really paying much attention to how she got there.
Looking back over the sloping grounds to the castle she smiled briefly at the haphazard path she had followed, admiring the picture-perfectness of the scene laid out in front of her. When she had been a student at Hogwarts the castle had been a home away from home for her, but the way she now felt about it filled her with a sense of foreboding. The task which would surely be appointed to her filled her with sudden dread. Whilst waking her sometime friend was doubtless the right thing to do, Hermione feared the recriminations of her actions. Her mind turned in upon itself, searching out memories she had thought buried long ago, and she blinked once and then twice as they threatened to swamp her.
Reluctantly pulling out her wand, she chanced clearing a small circle of snow around her so that she might sit and think awhile. Curling into the velvet folds of her cloak, she let the scenery before her fade into darkness as the memories resurged and pulled her inexorably downwards.
They were blurry at first, like photographs taken out of focus, and Hermione only experienced small snatches of events, the last Christmas she had spent with her parents before their untimely deaths, the Yule ball in her fourth year which she had attended with Victor . . . her eyes softened a little in bittersweet remembrance and then hardened again as she allowed herself to think of Harry, his face his smile, the serious expression on his face when he had asked her to . . . had asked her. . .
The memory would not come.
She would not allow it.
Shaking her head and feeling a sudden stab of pain in her chest, Hermione looked up to see a black shadow detach itself from the grey walls of the castle and make its' way towards her. The shape covered ground towards her at speed, and she was soon able to discern that it was Snape. His face, when he grew close enough to see his expression, was thunderously angry, and he began to shout at her from a fair distance away.
"What in Merlin's name do you think you are DOING?" He bellowed at her from a distance of perhaps fifty metres, and Hermione scrambled to her feet in sudden fear, watching his approach while clenching and unclenching her small hands into fists at her sides.
"HERMIONE GRANGER! To me, this instant!"
She did not need to be asked twice, and fairly ran over to where the enigmatic professor was standing. She had a moment to observe the astonishing contrast that his black robed form made with the sparkling white snow, and then she was being grasped firmly by the upper arms and shaken so hard that her teeth rattled.
"Stop that!" A sudden flash of anger made her pull away from him, but her feet tangled in her trailing cloak and she found herself keeling abruptly backwards into perhaps a foot of undisturbed snow. Her momentum was such that Snape was pulled over as well, landing heavily on top of her petite form.
For a moment they both lay there, too surprised to do anything at all. Hermione, although squashed, closed her eyes and savoured the warmth of his body on top of hers, but her enjoyment was not to last long.
"You stupid girl!" He hissed. Bracing himself by placing hands on either side of her head, he moved as if to begin climbing to his feet, and Hermione surprised herself by reaching out and grabbing fistfuls of his robes in order to roll him over her and into a patch of snow all of his own. Climbing to her feet, she began to stride determinedly back towards the castle without pausing to check what was going on behind her.
"Hermione!" A strong hand curled around her upper arm and whipped her around to face him. She met his eyes warily and choked back a laugh as she realized that he was covered in clumps of snow which gave the odd impression of an inverted dalmatian, black with white spots. "What is so funny?" Raising a sardonic eyebrow, Snape viewed her sourly.
"I . . . nothing," realizing that he would most likely not understand her strange sense of humour, Hermione hid her smile behind her hand. Snape gave her a little poke and tucked one of her arms into his so that they might resume walking back towards the castle.
"You are not to wander outside of the castle alone, do you understand?" When he spoke again, his tones were much more measured his expression calmer.
"May I ask why?" Hermione turned her petulant face his way, and he frowned.
"You know why," he warned. "And besides, this is the Headmaster's instruction. Do not think to defy him as you would me."
Within a few minutes their feet were clicking on the stone walkways of the castle and Hermione disentangled herself with something approaching regret.
"Thank you professor," she spoke in quiet tones of disdain. "Next time I am in need of a knight in shining armor I know where to find you."
A myriad of emotions crossed Snape's pale face, and two spots of pink appeared high up on his cheekbones.
"You will accompany me to my quarters." His voice was emotionless although he was obviously angry.
"I will do no such thing!" Hermione resisted the urge to stamp her foot.
"Then I will accompany you to yours!"
"Fine!" She whirled and marched in a haze of temper back towards the circular room she was to call home.
In her absence, a fire had been lit and the room was pleasantly warm as night began to fall outside. Cringing as she realized that a house elf was most likely responsible, Hermione removed her cloak and threw it carelessly across one of the wingbacked chairs. Snape copied her gesture before turning to face her. He drew a shuddering breath and then looked over at her, a sober expression in his eyes.
"This is hard for you, I know," he spread his hands in front of him placatingly. "But you must understand that we are only trying to keep you safe . . ."
"You are trying to imprison me!" Hermione cut in heatedly. "I cannot, no will not, live like this! I was only walking, I needed to think!"
"Then do so within the castle walls!" Snape's retort was sufficiently infuriating and Hermione found herself leaning right into him in order to shout up into his face.
"Why me? Why do I have to be the one to do this? I never wanted this! I was happy. . ."
"You were lonely," he shook his head at her.
"That's beside the point. Now answer my question: Why me?" Hermione brushed his telling statement aside. Snape shrugged, his black eyes depthless and unreadable.
"Because there is no one else," he said hoarsely. "You know this."
Holding his arms open to her, Hermione instantly accepted his offer of comfort, laying her head upon his shoulder as he held her close.
"I know," she mumbled brokenly. Snape rubbed her back in soothing circles that calmed her.
"When you are ready you will tell me the story of how you came to leave us in the first place," he spoke into the tangle of her hair, and sighed. "When you can face that, Dumbledore will permit you to do . . . what is required."
"I will tell you," she lifted her face to look at him solemnly, and took a deep breath. "If I can't trust you, who can I?" A sad smile flickered across her wan face. "You have become my knight in shining armor lately; I think I owe you more than I know."
"Nonsense," Snape inclined his head to speak soft words against her ear. "Tell me then, and perhaps we can begin to make sense of all this."
"I don't know where to start," Hermione trembled violently as his warm breath caressed the side of her face.
"The beginning is usually a good place," his smile was mocking.
She took a deep breath to compose herself and found that her mind was made up.
She would tell him everything.
TBC