Disclaimer: Look! Look! *points gleefully* It's the official document saying that I own them all! Look, it's right there! That pig with wings has it in his mouth!

Warnings: Err, bad words, secrets, some remembered smut stuff, but not graphic (I know, I know, I'm so sorry.)

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Smoke & Mirrors.

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Part Eight. In The Heart.

They sat quietly at the table, Draco staring at the tabletop, Morgan staring at Draco. They had been sitting there, saying nothing, for about twenty minutes as they waited for Saria to turn up and begin her lessons for that night. Draco had said very little since his run in with Harry a few hours ago. He spent his quiet time with his head down, though he didn't actually see the table.

His mind drifted to long abandoned memories. Harsher time, miserable life, it all seemed the same, every year. Through his mind flittered images of skin opening up, allowing blood to trickle out, he remembered making a small cut under a woman's eye, watching how the tear and the blood raced each other to see which would reach her jaw first.

All things like this he thought he'd been done with forever. They hadn't really bothered him in years, except for a few brief moments a year ago, first when he had no memory of 'forgetting' them and then when he did remember, there had been a couple of thoughts about irony.

But hearing Harry say that name today, made it worse. To hear a voice he hated and loved and missed, to hear it say the two words he loathed more than anything. He hated himself for his fear, he knew it had shown, it probably always would. That was one thing Draco had always understood when it came to others and their fear of saying 'Voldemort'. He knew that hearing the name made you think of the person. Draco, even when he was fifteen, could have said Voldemort until he lost his voice and it wouldn't have bothered him.

But the name Jonas … he couldn't say it anymore, he could barely say it back then. There had been a Jonas in Morgan's training class, bright kid, talented, would have done well. But the second Harry had suggested they pick him, Draco had shot him down instantly, not even willing to consider it. Besides, he'd already had his heart set on Morgan, nothing would have changed his mind.

Draco knew it was foolish that he couldn't even bring himself to read that name. He knew it was probably very unhealthy that he had fallen into the habit of scanning all documents with a spell before he read them. He didn't like television, thinking that he might one day stumble upon a program that had an actor or character that was called that.

It's not that the name scared him, he wasn't a child anymore. But he knew he couldn't help himself. If he heard that name the memories would drift up and while that was easier enough to deal with, the true reason, the one he never would admit to was just too awful.

Despite his dislike of television, his slightly maniacal reading behavior, his pure fear and hatred of a silly name, all of those things were only by-products of the thing he feared the most.

That one day he would want to remember Jonas.

Draco wasn't sure if he could kick the addiction a second time. He didn't want to find out either. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were, it had been so much easier only a few months ago, even if he had noticed that things were not going as well as they should have. He wanted this safety net back. He sighed, shifting in his chair, as he thought about exactly how much he missed Harry. And not just for the protection.

Morgan thought about saying something, not necessarily about certain recent matters, just anything, but decided it probably wouldn't be a very wise idea. Saria, on the other hand, had clearly missed the warning signs seeing as how the first thing she said when she turned up that evening was…

"Who the hell is Jonas Cordain? What's going on? HQ was overflowing with excitement and mystery."

She received two identical glares, but ignored them.

"Draco, you have to tell me what's going on. I was interrogated by Allen, and he works in Accounting, for heavens sake! Everyone's saying you and Harry got into a fist fight or something. I heard one version where you put his head through a window!"

"I never touched him."

"Who's Jonas Cordain?"

"That's none of your concern."

"You think? Cause apparently anyone and everyone have been looking him up on the system, and it says he doesn't exist."

"He doesn't."

"Then why is Harry so sure that you're sleeping with him?"

"I don't know, the point is I'm not. Now you're supposed to be working on ..."

"Oh, to hell with that! I want to know what's happening?"

Draco walked out of the room. Saria went to go after him but her arm was grabbed by Morgan and she was thrown into the nearest chair.

"Hey, watch it!"

"Leave him alone."

"But everyone …"

"I don't care what everyone is doing, or saying, or thinking. Leave this alone."

Her eyes narrowed. "You know what's going on don't you?"

"No."

"Yes you do!"

"No, I only know a little."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Oh, come on, Morgan. You have to tell me."

"NO! I don't! I don't have to tell anyone anything. Draco told me to keep my mouth shut and I will."

"Look, though your obsessive crush is cute and endearing, if something's going on with him that might affect me, I have a right to know!"

"I don't have a crush on him."

"Oh, please, the way you follow him around? You're worse than Cujo at feeding time."

"I don't have a crush on him, you wouldn't understand."

"Are the children having fun?"

They both looked to Draco who had returned and was leaning on the doorframe.

"I'm not a child." Saria muttered.

"Could have fooled me, the way you just walk in here and demand answers to questions you shouldn't even know about." Draco pushed away from the frame and walked over, sitting down at the table. "Now listen up, sweetheart." He snarled. "I will not be answering any ridiculous questions about some guy who no-one can prove even existed. I do not have to answer to you, or anybody else for that matter and if, remember that I said if, a person called Jonas fucking Cordain has anything to do with my past, then that's my business, and mine alone."

She didn't dare say anything back.

"Now you, my dear girl, have training to do. So unless you want me to just fail you across the board, I suggest you get to work.

**********

"How's this?" Saria handed over what she had written so far and then shot a concerned look to Morgan when Draco didn't even look down to the page. "Draco?"

The blonde blinked once and then glanced down. "It's fine."

"You didn't even look ..."

"... where you were going! What's the matter with you, Draco?"

Draco rubbed his forehead, glaring at the offending tree branch. "Sorry Pansy, just a little preoccupied."

"Well try not to be, we have to master this before tonight." Pansy picked up the dropped flask and returned it to Draco's hands. "The trick is to not look at it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to see a lump of wood heading for your skull."

"Are the children having fun?"

They both looked to where the voice had come from and saw Jonas leaning against a tree. Draco gave a tentative smile as Pansy started to take a step back.

"Um, I think I've done enough for now, I'm going to take a break."

Draco nodded absently as she fled.

Jonas watched her leave, a smile playing on his lips. "I don't think she likes me."

Draco shrugged, trying to look calm. "Few people do, you should be used to it."

Jonas walked over, lifting his hand to brush across the pale face. "Do you fear me?"

"You know I do."

"And yet you try to hide it."

Draco could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the usual mixture of fear and fascination had started to flood his body as soon as he'd heard the low, almost dangerous voice. "No, I try not to be."

"Don't you think you should fear me?"

"Not as much as I do, no."

Jonas smiled, pulling the boy closer to hold him against his chest. "On the contrary, my little blonde protégé, you should fear me more than you already do. Don't you know what I am?"

"You're a killer."

"Can't you feel how dangerous I can be when I touch you?"

"I don't know, it's hard to concentrate when your around."

This earned Draco a laugh and Jonas titled the boy's head back, to look into his eyes, watching as the other shivered. "But still, maybe you shouldn't fear me. I only ever hurt you when you ask me to."

"I've never asked you to."

"Maybe not with words." Jonas leant down, pressing his lips to the slightly smaller ones.

Draco wasn't too sure how it all happened, but the result was that his back was against the tree, sliding down until he was sitting of the soft soil. Jonas had not let go of his lips for even a second, simply manoeuvering them both until they landed in that position, Draco sitting on the ground his legs pushed out of the way with Jonas kneeling in front of him, having to stretch down to still kiss him.

The elder man pulled back, leaving his hands to rub against Draco's chest as he watched him carefully, waiting for it.

Draco kept his mouth shut, refusing to give in with this one little thing he had left.

Jonas sighed as he moved to stand, his hands leaving the warm skin they had been playing with. "Why won't you beg for me, Draco?" He almost sounded annoyed.

"Too much pride." It honestly was the only reason. Draco's pride stood fast and would not even consider giving up the last thing it had control of.

"You should work on that. It gets rather irritating."

This actually cheered Draco up somewhat, though he certainly wasn't foolish enough to show it. "I'm sorry."

"Come see me tonight, after the ceremony, we still have work to do."

"But I have to report to Dumbledore."

Jonas scowled. "The old fool can wait. I shouldn't have to point out that anyone can wait when it comes to me. Don't kid yourself, Draco, as much as your pride must hate it, you belong to me."

Draco's right hand clenched into the ground, crushing a few leaves into his fist. He wanted to say 'No' and that he didn't belong to anyone, but he knew that wasn't really true. His left hand patted his pockets looking for his cigarettes as he refused to meet the other's gaze.

As Jonas gave a sneer at his apparent weakness in answering Draco held one though close to him. There was a small thing that stopped him from completely being Jonas' property. One tiny secret he had that helped him see he wasn't as lost as most people thought.

He lit his cigarette as Jonas Apparated out and smiled humourlessly at the ground in front of him. "I don't belong to you, not entirely." He finally muttered in reply.

"What the hell are you talking about? Draco! Can you even hear me?"

Draco opened his eyes to see Morgan and Saria leaning over him, he could feel their hands on him, trying to shake him out of it. He was lying on the floor next to his chair, as if he'd fallen out of it.

"Draco?"

"I'm okay." He moved to sit up but Morgan pushed him back down.

"No, you rest there, I'm calling for a doctor."

"No!" Draco pushed them both away and sat up, ignoring the half formed protests. "I'm fine."

"The hell you are! You just passed out on to the floor. That is not a 'fine' thing."

"I'm just tired." Draco rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. He shifted his right hand to help him stand up when he noticed he was clutching leaves in his fist. Stunned, he opened his palm and watched as they turned to dust, filtering through his fingers to land on the floor.

"That doesn't exactly look normal either." Was Morgan sarcastic comment.

"I'm fine, I just … I just got a little preoccupied."

"Either way, I'm still getting a doctor."

"Fine, do it." Draco said angrily. "And you can start packing you things at the same time."

"What? You're crazy, look, your sick or something, you need some help."

"I DON'T FUCKING WELL NEED A DOCTOR!" Draco snarled at both of them as they stared. "I just need some sleep." He forced out from between his teeth.

"You should …"

"You should fuck off and leave me alone."

Morgan went to say something again but Draco rounded on him.

"DON'T … make me say it again."

The force of the first word, followed by the rest of the sentence being said so softly cause Morgan to put down the phone he had reached for. "Fine. Get some sleep. We'll see how you are later."

Draco stormed out of the room, furious at everything though mainly at himself. He made his way to his bed and dropped down on it heavily. Cujo gave him a warily look before she fled, heading for the kitchen. He glared at his wall until he could start to feel himself calm down, shifting to lie down fully outstretched.

He sat up slightly again when he felt something press into his head. Running his hand through his hair he pulled away a small object and looked at. It was a piece of lose bark. It too turned to dust as he looked at it, landing on his pillow. He wiped it all off on to the floor and lay back down.

He closed his eyes and wished for it all to stop.

To Be Continued.