Hermione looked slowly from Harry to Dumbledore, hesitated, and then let her eyes drift over to Snape. He was studying her with an intensity that suddenly left her struggling for breath, and in a moment of startling clarity, she understood why.
"Professor Snape..." Her voice caught a little, but she pressed on regardless. "May I speak with you before we proceed?"
If Dumbledore was surprised by this he did not show it. Snape merely nodded, his expression grim. There was a short pause, not without confusion.
"In private?" Hermione ventured cautiously.
Snape stared at her wordlessly and then turned and swept from the room. Glancing at a seemingly benign Dumbledore, Hermione followed him.
Exiting the infirmary, she pulled the double doors closed behind her and was immediately seized by the shoulders and shoved bodily backwards into the wall. There was no surprise, no hesitation, when Snape kissed her, using the wall and his height to pull her boldly against him. His mouth was hungry against hers, and with a half-sob Hermione found herself responding to him, kissing him back with a ferocity borne of desperation, feeling something slip away from her as she did so.
His hands traced the curve of her waist, tugging her so close that she could feel where their bodies were in contact from shoulder to knee, and Hermione welcomed it. This was not an embrace to offer comfort, or even protection, but one of need and desire. It ignited something in Hermione that she did not know that she possessed, and something in Severus that he had long thought dead. When he finally broke the kiss they were both breathless.
Eyes dark with want observed each other at close quarters, and his hands moved from her waist to cup her face, Hermione's warm cheeks against his cool palms. She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes.
"I wish..." His voice was like she had never heard it, low and husky and filled with a bittersweet sadness that she herself felt only too well. "I wish that we had more time!"
Hermione opened her eyes and found the courage to close the small gap between them and kiss him gently. Anguish radiated out from them, and she felt herself begin to tremble.
"I'll come back," she whispered the words brokenly against his lips as he crushed her slender form against his. "I promise."
Pulling away with a strength that she did not know she had, she looked up at his face, seeing the fear and confusion etched there. Lifting herself onto tiptoes and smoothing the frown lines from his forehead with shaking fingers, she struggled for the words with which to reassure him.
"I will come back for you."
He stared at her. There were tears in her eyes, but there was also hope. She squeezed his shoulder, managed a sad smile even as the tears began to fall.
"I came back for you. Back to this world, back to this castle. For you. I didn't understand at first. I do now. Please tell me..." her voice wavered, almost breaking. "Please tell me that I made the right decision?"
He hugged her close, soothing her.
"You are an extraordinary young woman," he whispered fiercely into her hair. "I would not lose you again, to any one or any thing, even if my life depended upon it."
He held her an instant longer within the circle of his arms before releasing her and wiping her tears away with his thumbs. Feeling small calluses against her skin, Hermione again felt the intensity of her need for him.
"There was a woman, a long time ago, much like you," Snape sighed, his eyes solemn but distant, as if recalling a memory long consigned to a place he did not like to visit. "And I loved her. She was so full of life...so vibrant, and I...well I was not." His expression changed, became slightly rueful. "I never managed to tell her how I felt about her, there was never a time, never a place..." He trailed off, eyes snapping back to hers.
"What happened?" Hermione felt compelled to ask; her heart was beating very loudly against her ribcage.
Snape hesitated, and was silent for so long that she thought that he would refuse to answer her.
"She died." He said softly. "And I could not prevent it, when I would have given anything to do so."
"I'm not going to die," Hermione tried to reassure him.
"I care for you, Hermione, and I would not let history repeat itself, not like this!"
"I will come back," she repeated stubbornly.
"What if you do not have a choice? What if the sacrifice that is required of you is your death? What if you are asked to change places with him? What will you do then? What will I do if you cannot come back?" He was suddenly angry, his pale face flushed and taut.
"I won't have to do any of those things, will I?" Hermione replied in horrified astonishment.
His silence in response was almost damning.
"Will I?" She repeated. He looked at her stonily, then shrugged.
"I...do not know. Any of those things are possible."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" She found herself angry now. The taste of deception was again bitter in her mouth. "Walk away? Give up? Let him die?"
"There is always a choice," Snape would not look at her.
"There is no choice! Don't you see, don't you understand? I will do what I have been asked to do – what I must do! This is my debt, this is how I must pay for what I did to him!" Hermione's voice was desperate, pleading, but his face remained unmoved. He would not have her do this, she realized, he wanted to keep her safe, and it was impossible!
"He would not ask you to die for him, whatever you perceive your crimes as," He bit back tonelessly.
"I am not going to die!" Hermione shouted at him, furious with him that he would even think of her giving up.
There seemed nothing more to say.
His eyes were now fixed on the infirmary doors. Hermione followed them. Time was drawing short, she knew. If they were going to act, it had to be soon.
"Severus...this is not goodbye." She linked an unwilling hand with one of hers, whispering his name.
"Hermione..." He closed his eyes, seemingly with no other response to give, squeezed her hand, and drew her close one last time.
When he let her go, and turned resolutely back to the infirmary doors, there were tears in his eyes. Not letting her see them, he strode back into the ward, and Hermione followed him. Dumbledore, and now Poppy Pomfrey, looked from one to the other with what Hermione could only describe as anticipation in their eyes. Behind them, in the narrow hospital bed, Harry stirred anew.
Forcing herself to look away from Snape's angrily straight back, Hermione slowly made her way to her sometime friend's side. Sitting on the edge of the bed she leaned forward and brushed his overlong dark hair away from his eyes, her fingertips brushing the scar on his forehead as she did so. Harry gave a little gasp and twisted violently against the bonds that were keeping him on the bed, and Hermione removed her hand.
Twisting slightly and looking over her shoulder, she met Dumbledore's now sober blue eyes with her own. She breathed deeply a few times, and then gathered herself a little, looking around at all of the people standing around her.
"I am ready," she whispered softly.
Severus, his eyes unreadable, stepped forward, wand lifted.
The last thing Hermione remembered as he said the words of the spell that would send her to meet Harry, was the look on his face.
She had never seen him looking so frightened before.
TBC....
A/N: Not mine never was, please don't sue me.
Thanks for all of your kind reviews, hopefully a couple more updates will see this story completed! I'm working on a few new ideas, mostly one shots, and will be posting something new soon.
Please support my low self esteem and review!
"Professor Snape..." Her voice caught a little, but she pressed on regardless. "May I speak with you before we proceed?"
If Dumbledore was surprised by this he did not show it. Snape merely nodded, his expression grim. There was a short pause, not without confusion.
"In private?" Hermione ventured cautiously.
Snape stared at her wordlessly and then turned and swept from the room. Glancing at a seemingly benign Dumbledore, Hermione followed him.
Exiting the infirmary, she pulled the double doors closed behind her and was immediately seized by the shoulders and shoved bodily backwards into the wall. There was no surprise, no hesitation, when Snape kissed her, using the wall and his height to pull her boldly against him. His mouth was hungry against hers, and with a half-sob Hermione found herself responding to him, kissing him back with a ferocity borne of desperation, feeling something slip away from her as she did so.
His hands traced the curve of her waist, tugging her so close that she could feel where their bodies were in contact from shoulder to knee, and Hermione welcomed it. This was not an embrace to offer comfort, or even protection, but one of need and desire. It ignited something in Hermione that she did not know that she possessed, and something in Severus that he had long thought dead. When he finally broke the kiss they were both breathless.
Eyes dark with want observed each other at close quarters, and his hands moved from her waist to cup her face, Hermione's warm cheeks against his cool palms. She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes.
"I wish..." His voice was like she had never heard it, low and husky and filled with a bittersweet sadness that she herself felt only too well. "I wish that we had more time!"
Hermione opened her eyes and found the courage to close the small gap between them and kiss him gently. Anguish radiated out from them, and she felt herself begin to tremble.
"I'll come back," she whispered the words brokenly against his lips as he crushed her slender form against his. "I promise."
Pulling away with a strength that she did not know she had, she looked up at his face, seeing the fear and confusion etched there. Lifting herself onto tiptoes and smoothing the frown lines from his forehead with shaking fingers, she struggled for the words with which to reassure him.
"I will come back for you."
He stared at her. There were tears in her eyes, but there was also hope. She squeezed his shoulder, managed a sad smile even as the tears began to fall.
"I came back for you. Back to this world, back to this castle. For you. I didn't understand at first. I do now. Please tell me..." her voice wavered, almost breaking. "Please tell me that I made the right decision?"
He hugged her close, soothing her.
"You are an extraordinary young woman," he whispered fiercely into her hair. "I would not lose you again, to any one or any thing, even if my life depended upon it."
He held her an instant longer within the circle of his arms before releasing her and wiping her tears away with his thumbs. Feeling small calluses against her skin, Hermione again felt the intensity of her need for him.
"There was a woman, a long time ago, much like you," Snape sighed, his eyes solemn but distant, as if recalling a memory long consigned to a place he did not like to visit. "And I loved her. She was so full of life...so vibrant, and I...well I was not." His expression changed, became slightly rueful. "I never managed to tell her how I felt about her, there was never a time, never a place..." He trailed off, eyes snapping back to hers.
"What happened?" Hermione felt compelled to ask; her heart was beating very loudly against her ribcage.
Snape hesitated, and was silent for so long that she thought that he would refuse to answer her.
"She died." He said softly. "And I could not prevent it, when I would have given anything to do so."
"I'm not going to die," Hermione tried to reassure him.
"I care for you, Hermione, and I would not let history repeat itself, not like this!"
"I will come back," she repeated stubbornly.
"What if you do not have a choice? What if the sacrifice that is required of you is your death? What if you are asked to change places with him? What will you do then? What will I do if you cannot come back?" He was suddenly angry, his pale face flushed and taut.
"I won't have to do any of those things, will I?" Hermione replied in horrified astonishment.
His silence in response was almost damning.
"Will I?" She repeated. He looked at her stonily, then shrugged.
"I...do not know. Any of those things are possible."
"Then what am I supposed to do?" She found herself angry now. The taste of deception was again bitter in her mouth. "Walk away? Give up? Let him die?"
"There is always a choice," Snape would not look at her.
"There is no choice! Don't you see, don't you understand? I will do what I have been asked to do – what I must do! This is my debt, this is how I must pay for what I did to him!" Hermione's voice was desperate, pleading, but his face remained unmoved. He would not have her do this, she realized, he wanted to keep her safe, and it was impossible!
"He would not ask you to die for him, whatever you perceive your crimes as," He bit back tonelessly.
"I am not going to die!" Hermione shouted at him, furious with him that he would even think of her giving up.
There seemed nothing more to say.
His eyes were now fixed on the infirmary doors. Hermione followed them. Time was drawing short, she knew. If they were going to act, it had to be soon.
"Severus...this is not goodbye." She linked an unwilling hand with one of hers, whispering his name.
"Hermione..." He closed his eyes, seemingly with no other response to give, squeezed her hand, and drew her close one last time.
When he let her go, and turned resolutely back to the infirmary doors, there were tears in his eyes. Not letting her see them, he strode back into the ward, and Hermione followed him. Dumbledore, and now Poppy Pomfrey, looked from one to the other with what Hermione could only describe as anticipation in their eyes. Behind them, in the narrow hospital bed, Harry stirred anew.
Forcing herself to look away from Snape's angrily straight back, Hermione slowly made her way to her sometime friend's side. Sitting on the edge of the bed she leaned forward and brushed his overlong dark hair away from his eyes, her fingertips brushing the scar on his forehead as she did so. Harry gave a little gasp and twisted violently against the bonds that were keeping him on the bed, and Hermione removed her hand.
Twisting slightly and looking over her shoulder, she met Dumbledore's now sober blue eyes with her own. She breathed deeply a few times, and then gathered herself a little, looking around at all of the people standing around her.
"I am ready," she whispered softly.
Severus, his eyes unreadable, stepped forward, wand lifted.
The last thing Hermione remembered as he said the words of the spell that would send her to meet Harry, was the look on his face.
She had never seen him looking so frightened before.
TBC....
A/N: Not mine never was, please don't sue me.
Thanks for all of your kind reviews, hopefully a couple more updates will see this story completed! I'm working on a few new ideas, mostly one shots, and will be posting something new soon.
Please support my low self esteem and review!