Ok my darlings, after a very long break and two more reviews I think I may be ready for another chappie!

"You didn't replicate the beer and chocolate spread, you bred it! Beer and chocolate spread don't go well together. Who knows what you've created!"

"Lister's face turned very pale, "Bred beer and chocolate spread?" he whispered.

"Oh yes Listy, lovely little reaction you've got going on in your stomach" replied Rimmer, trying to hide the grin that threatened to spread across his face. Lister looked appalled. He tried not to think of what could be now almost living in his stomach.

"There's only one thing for it Dave" decided Holly, the look of shame replaced by one of determination. "We've got to get it out of you, extract it I s'pose." Lister, if possible, looked a little greener.

"How?" he croaked. Holly didn't quite know, but didn't want to reveal to the crew he'd never been in this situation before. "Oh, easy Dave, don't worry, peace of cake this operation."

"Operation?" Lister cried, "No-one said anything about an operation!"

"Kryten get me a syringe, a sharp pair of scissors, a laser scalpel and a LOT of bandages," commanded Rimmer, taking absolutely no notice of the almost faint Lister.

"Rimmer, what are you going to do man?" said Lister with a worried look of apprehension.

"Nothing Holly hasn't directed before" Rimmer assured him. "Isn't that so Holly?" he enquired with one of those play-along-looks.

"Of course Arnold" replied Holly. Not voicing his concern about his strictly limited surgery knowledge.

After five minutes of silence, Kryten returned with Rimmer's requested items. Before Lister could protest, Kryten, with a look of pain at hurting a human, put him to sleep. Rimmer pulled on some surgical gloves and brandished the evilly glinting scalpel.

"Holly," he said boldly "What do I do?"

Lister came to the next day. He lay in bed, his face contorted with pain every time he attempted to move. After a few minutes, Kryten and the Cat entered the room.

"Hey buddy," cried the Cat as he sat on the bed, causing Lister to wince. "How you doin'?" he asked with a genuine look of interest on his face.

"Not too bad" sighed Lister. "Where's Rimmer?"

"He's asleep sir, he was very tired after performing three operations" Kryten informed him.

"Three operations?" yelped Lister, "Why three?"

"Well sir" gulped Kryten, "It didn't quite go to plan the first or second time and Holly had to start again. Oh but it's all alright now, the marks will fade in time" he rushed to assure Lister.

"Marks? What marks?" the paleness that had come to be familiar on Lister's face was back again.

"Oh nothing" said Kryten with an air of loftiness. "Forget I said anything sir." At this point Rimmer strolled in.

"Listy, I am so very, very, very sorry. There's no forgiving. No one deserves those." Rimmer looked close to hologramatic tears.

"No one deserves what?" shouted Lister, looking extremely scared now. "What's going on?" he wailed.

I haven't decided on what's happened yet, I'll probably dream up something in the next few days. I'm open to suggestions though!

REQUIANA