Forgiveness Comes Easy:
I was sitting in my flannel pajamas fighting off the cold and trying to study. The medical book had been open on my lap for an hour now and I still had not turned the page. My mind kept drifting. I was not sure why thoughts of Carter had to keep creeping into my mind. I told myself repeatedly that he was the one who had left me. It was not the other way around. I was not the one who packed up with out a word after being gone for 2 weeks and leave again even though I did not want him to go back to a place that was so dangerous.
I got up and walked over to the door. There was a deliveryman standing outside my door I slowly opened it.
"Abigail Lockhart?" He asked.
"That's me." I replied.
"I have a package for you." He said handing me the envelope.
"Thank you." I said taking it from him. I signed for it and watched him walk away from me. I cradled the envelope in my arm as I returned to my chair. Slowly I glanced at where it was from. Africa, it had to have been from Carter, but I did not know why he would be sending me anything after all this time. Did he decide that dumping me via a letter was not good enough the first time? That he needed to make another attempt at it. I debated whether to open it or not. Finally, curiosity got the better of me and I found myself opening it. I read the letter that was inside and the tears started to fall. While it was a feeble attempt at saying, he was sorry it was a welcome one. I knew that I could find it in my heart to forgive him especially with everything that we had been thru.
It took awhile for me to be able to stop crying and manage to move. I searched and quickly found a pen and paper. Carter might come home after all. My heart skipped a beat thinking that he would come home for me, to me.
Dear Carter,
I would have started Dear John, but I did not want you to get the wrong idea. I have missed you more than words can say. And yes, I have thought about you a lot while you have been gone. I have been worried that something might happen to you that you would never come home to Chicago. My heart has been longing for you to come home.
I will not tell you that things have not changed here. Shortly after you left, I decided that I needed to go back to med school. I want to change for the better. I know that I told you that people never change, but I was wrong. People can change if they want to. I found that out. I have been working thru some issues that I have had hoping that maybe if I worked hard enough that we can fix all that we did wrong together and put our relationship back on track.
Getting that letter from you John, is the highlight of my entire year. Nothing would make me happier than to know that you are getting on a plane and coming home, coming back to me. I know that things are going to be awkward and hard for us at first. We have both grown over the time we have been apart and even though I would love us to pick up where we left off, my heart tells me that are not possible. The spot that we left off at was so horrible for both of us, starting again with a clean slate; I know we can make this work.
You wanted to know if I would be here waiting for you when you got home. The answer to that is yes. I was so hurt when I got the letter from you telling me that you did not think that you would ever be coming home and my heart broke when you told me that I needed to move on with my life.
I have moved on with my life Carter, but I have not been able to move away from you. The love that I feel for you still burns in my heart. Come home soon love.
Yours through it all, Abby
I folded the letter and then quickly went and got dressed. I did not want him to have to wait for answer and I knew how he felt with sending the letter to me. I wanted Carter to come home. I had wished that I could just close my eyes and will him home but part of me knew that the time would come and he would be home before I knew it.
I was sitting in my flannel pajamas fighting off the cold and trying to study. The medical book had been open on my lap for an hour now and I still had not turned the page. My mind kept drifting. I was not sure why thoughts of Carter had to keep creeping into my mind. I told myself repeatedly that he was the one who had left me. It was not the other way around. I was not the one who packed up with out a word after being gone for 2 weeks and leave again even though I did not want him to go back to a place that was so dangerous.
I got up and walked over to the door. There was a deliveryman standing outside my door I slowly opened it.
"Abigail Lockhart?" He asked.
"That's me." I replied.
"I have a package for you." He said handing me the envelope.
"Thank you." I said taking it from him. I signed for it and watched him walk away from me. I cradled the envelope in my arm as I returned to my chair. Slowly I glanced at where it was from. Africa, it had to have been from Carter, but I did not know why he would be sending me anything after all this time. Did he decide that dumping me via a letter was not good enough the first time? That he needed to make another attempt at it. I debated whether to open it or not. Finally, curiosity got the better of me and I found myself opening it. I read the letter that was inside and the tears started to fall. While it was a feeble attempt at saying, he was sorry it was a welcome one. I knew that I could find it in my heart to forgive him especially with everything that we had been thru.
It took awhile for me to be able to stop crying and manage to move. I searched and quickly found a pen and paper. Carter might come home after all. My heart skipped a beat thinking that he would come home for me, to me.
Dear Carter,
I would have started Dear John, but I did not want you to get the wrong idea. I have missed you more than words can say. And yes, I have thought about you a lot while you have been gone. I have been worried that something might happen to you that you would never come home to Chicago. My heart has been longing for you to come home.
I will not tell you that things have not changed here. Shortly after you left, I decided that I needed to go back to med school. I want to change for the better. I know that I told you that people never change, but I was wrong. People can change if they want to. I found that out. I have been working thru some issues that I have had hoping that maybe if I worked hard enough that we can fix all that we did wrong together and put our relationship back on track.
Getting that letter from you John, is the highlight of my entire year. Nothing would make me happier than to know that you are getting on a plane and coming home, coming back to me. I know that things are going to be awkward and hard for us at first. We have both grown over the time we have been apart and even though I would love us to pick up where we left off, my heart tells me that are not possible. The spot that we left off at was so horrible for both of us, starting again with a clean slate; I know we can make this work.
You wanted to know if I would be here waiting for you when you got home. The answer to that is yes. I was so hurt when I got the letter from you telling me that you did not think that you would ever be coming home and my heart broke when you told me that I needed to move on with my life.
I have moved on with my life Carter, but I have not been able to move away from you. The love that I feel for you still burns in my heart. Come home soon love.
Yours through it all, Abby
I folded the letter and then quickly went and got dressed. I did not want him to have to wait for answer and I knew how he felt with sending the letter to me. I wanted Carter to come home. I had wished that I could just close my eyes and will him home but part of me knew that the time would come and he would be home before I knew it.