"I'm not a hostess, Cat! What do you expect me to do with some strage...boy who has an interest in Signorita!? No no no! " (A/N: I could not help thinking of that German maid in "Men in Tights" while writing this. "And ze happy little birdie left a happy wivvdle doo-doo on your hand!")

A very audible sigh drifted from behind a stack of books to Angelica's left, followed by the appearance of a perpetually disheveled head of straw-colored hair and the light, educated English voice of it's owner.

"Angelica, Angelica! Could you not see that the boy is just as talented as our dear Helen? I also have the distinct feeling that he... well, I'm not sure yet, so don't mind me. Anyways, I do recall my former master once telling me (upon inquiry as to the facts of life, as I am rather embarrassed to say) that Mistress Millie took up residence within the Chrestomanci castle when Sir Christopher was about fourteen. Helen, being thirteen, should have the same rights, I assume.

Angelica stared resetfully away from his pale, raised eyebrow and fixed her gaze on a nearby table scattered with papers. The top one was written in archaic cursive, and for a moment she struggled to decipher it.

Thump-thump-crash-crash! Shocked, both Cat and Angelica jumped, but the latter much more forcefully, knocking more things on top of the former with more varied thumps, softer this time against flesh.

"I've never known you to be so tempermental! Of course, you are..." Cat said mildly from underneath the wreckage, "I'm afraid I'm digging myself a bigger hole, so to speak," He ammended quickly, before that look on her face got out of hand. Angelica just grunted.

"I'll take that for a yes, mm?

"That's not what I was, uh, leaping about, Cat.

"Oh! So you weren't attempting to stifle me. Thank you for your consideration.

"Cat..." the warning glint was back in her eyes.

"Right. What seems to be the problem?

"The boy's immortal?!

"So it seems.

She studied his carefully neutral face incredulously.

"And this doesn't...concern you?

He was gathering papers industriously now, not looking at her, but she could see the puzzled look in his eyes as if he was right in front of her.

"Of course it does. But I think there's a way... Ow! And that was for what, exact--ow!

Around behind his back he heard Angelica shift around the books so not to damage any, and for that he was happy, mostly because she wasn't poking him anymore (and he loved the books of course, he just had an endearing sense of self-preservation).

"For being vague, Eric Chant.

Bruised arm and bruised ego? Ouch! He was going to tell Tonino on her... Damn first name...

There was a loud whumph of air as he sat down abruptly on a pile of cushions.

"Take a seat, Lady Montana. This may be a rather long explaination.

------------

"I see. Jamie--- Cat? I'm still not sure if I understand...

"It is rather hard to comprehend, no?" He asked, stroking his bare chin theatrically. She poked him.

"Hey! Hey! I'm trying my hardest, dear wife-of-my-best-friend!

There was steel in her eyes. "Try harder!

He took a deep breath. "From the beginning, now. Jamie and Helen are from a rather strange world system which was once controlled by demons playing games with their worlds. Jamie and Helen, both from different worlds, become discards in this game, along with a demon-hunter called Joris, and move from world to world every time a demon playing with the world they're in makes a move. You follow?" He slid his blue eyes to her face and she nodded readily.

"Anyhow, Jamie, Helen and Joris basically meet and come up with a plan to defeat the demons with some people called Adam, Vanessa and Konstam. They lead a rebellion against the demons, everyone is freed. But then Jamie figures that he must continue to be immortal and wander the worlds so they stay balanced. Got it?

Angelica bit her lip, and nodded, looking unusually pensieve.

Finally, voice even scratchier than usual, she mummured quietly, "How can we help them?

Chrestomanci's eyes lit up then; he got to his feet in a hearty scramble of grasshopper legs and scattering of dust mites and papers.

"Ah-ha! You see, that's where they come in!

"And who exactly are "they"?

A paper, magically levitated by a grinning Cat, landed in her hands. Two names, husband and wife, were written there in his unmistakable calligraphy:

"Thomas Lynn Polly Lynn.

--------

Ack! This came out sounding rather (my holyknickers do I say that a lot! 'tis not matter, 'tis my favorite word, all that great yadayada) um, Cat/Angelica. No no no! (there goes the German maid again) The pairings in this fic are as follows:

Tonino/Angelica

Jamie/Helen

Tom/Polly

Cat/OC (I know, I know. He probably won't even have a romance....wait! How 'bout Julia? Naw, they'd have screwy kids )

Konstam/Vanessa

Joris/Elsa Kahn (the younger)

Christopher/Millie (duh)
bahbuhbuh....bet you didn't expect Tom and Polly to show up... ;-) This gets funner by the chapter!