Yours Is No Disgrace
Epilogue
Author Notes: This epilogue contains a nod to one of my friend Pearl's stories, in tribute to her being such a great friend and reader. :)
The Universe and all can be,
Showing the fate of the world we know
The TARDIS key shone brightly as Sarah turned it over and over
in her hands, watching the still flickering lights from inside
the museum glint off its surface. She gazed absently at the
outside of the TARDIS, still perpetually stuck in the form of a
blue Police box.
A universe without colour, he had said. She brought him colour
and light. How could that possibly be true when he was the
brightest, most colourful person she had ever met?
Borusa...he had spoken with such arrogance. They were so
confident, so assured of their own superiority...so cold...he
hadn't even considered if she even wanted to be accepted
here...because it was obvious the Doctor wasn't.
Her musings were interrupted by the sound of the Doctor's
familiar stride. She smiled warmly as he reached her side, taking
the key gently from her fingers and unlocking the door. Inviting
her to step inside with a single gesture...but as she looked up
at him, she saw his blue eyes twinkling with mischief and...
Desire.
All thoughts of that overheard conversation fled her mind as she
stepped quickly into the TARDIS. She tried to even out her
breathing as she heard the doors close behind her.
His hands, gentle beyond belief, relived her of her jacket and
stuck it absently on a peg. He smiled at her as his hands
returned to her shoulders, his fingers whispered just above the
cloth of her blouse, not quite making contact...but even though
he never quite touched her, she felt a thrill run through her
shoulders and down her back, a delicious warmth that seemed to
follow the silent ghosting of his long fingers. It called to mind
a long ago incident at school, when she had touched a Van de Graf
generator and felt the tingle of electricity through her
body...but it was his softly spoken words that produced the
greatest reaction.
"So," He said with affectionate amusement, "I look
'dishy' do I?"
Sarah felt heat climb her face, and knew she must be blushing
like a ripe tomato. The Doctor laughed quietly, his breath
brushing against her ear.
"Hmm, I'll have to remember to wear this outfit more
often." He mused as his fingers once again took up that
marvellous dance over her body, still not quite touching, but
still sending those little shivers of pleasure through every part
of skin they passed over.
Sarah closed her eyes, just revelling in it. She didn't know how
he was doing this, what special Time Lord wizardry he was using
to produce this reaction; and frankly, she didn't care...it just
felt too good.
"There are so many things I want to show you, Sarah."
He said, his demeanour serious now, "All my favourite places
in the Universe...you're the only person I've ever wanted to
share all this with."
She opened her slightly dazed eyes to look up at him. His gaze
was intent, filled with desire and...love.
"Doctor..." She whispered, reaching out with one hand
to gently touch his face. He smiled at her, and then with a
sudden, smooth movement, he swept her neatly off her feet and
carried her out of the console room. Sarah laughed from sheer
delight. The slightly melodramatic romance of it had taken her by
surprise.
"Why Doctor," She said teasingly, "I didn't know
you had it in you."
He chuckled gently, "There are many things I would do for
you." He said as they reached the door to his room. Sarah
felt a tiny flicker of apprehension. She had never been inside
his room. It was the one place in the TARDIS she had always
considered inviolate...but things were different now...he had
brought her here because he wanted to share himself with her as
he had with no one else...Sarah felt honoured beyond words.
He set her down to open the door, his eyes still sparkling with
that intoxicating mixture of love and desire. The door swung
open, and Sarah peered eagerly inside.
It was a large room, larger than her own. The walls were a soft
red colour, the furniture all appeared to be very old, dark wood,
much of it scratched and slightly battered from use and age.
She stepped cautiously into the room, taking it all in one bit at
a time. There were shelves everywhere, covered in nick-nacks and
souvenirs from probably hundreds of different planets, but she
recognised several of the items came from Earth.
She almost laughed when she saw the clock above the dresser - A
Dalek eyestalk formed the hour hand...it was so very outrageous.
But somehow, in this room, it fit.
Then her eyes were drawn to one of the walls - it was almost
totally covered in photographs and small portraits. Some of the
people in the photos she recognised - Liz Shaw and Jo Grant were
there, looking much as they did in their official UNIT profiles.
Sarah realised that all these people must have travelled with the
Doctor. Here was a picture of a beautiful girl with an oddly
elfin face, there a young man in traditional Scottish kilt...and
so many others. Many of them young and female...
But the most prominent picture on the wall, even if it wasn't the
biggest, was one of her. She had no idea where he could have
gotten it from - it was an old photo, taken not long after she
had left college. She looked at it for a moment, not realising
that the Doctor had softly come up behind her until he spoke.
"My Sarah," He said gently, his deep voice seemed to
echo through her body, soothing her. He dipped his head to the
crook of her shoulder, kissing her neck. Sarah felt a delicious
shiver run through her body as his lips touched that sensitive
spot just under her ear. She closed her eyes, knowing that though
she had seen the Doctor's past as she looked at the faces of his
companions; it was she, Sarah Jane Smith, who was in his future.
"Ah..." She gasped as The Doctor's kissing turned to
nibbling, sending a flash of heat through every nerve in her
body. She opened her eyes, turning around so she could see the
desire and mischief in his brilliant blue eyes as he led her over
to the huge four-poster bed that sat in one corner of the room.
Then he stopped, looking at her with a now-serious expression.
"Is this what you want, Sarah?" He asked, his eyes
almost begging her to say 'yes'. She smiled, flattered as always
by his consideration. None of the other men she had been out with
had even bothered to ask...they had just assumed. And they had
been wrong.
"Of course," She smiled, reaching out to take hold of
the back of his neck so she could bring him in for a deep kiss.
The kiss went on for some time as they both fiddling with each
other's clothing, exploring each other's mouths, their tongues
duelling in and endlessly erotic dance while their fingers sought
to touch skin.
"Mmmm..." The Doctor murmured in frustration, pulling
back slightly. His usually amazingly nimble fingers were having
trouble with the particularly awkward button on the top of
Sarah's jeans. Sarah laughed softly - he had had no trouble with
the buttons on her blouse, which now hung off her shoulders, but
this single button had defeated him.
"I don't find this very funny," He said.
"Well, I do," She giggled, "The man who defeated
Wirrn, Cybermen and Daleks, the Doctor...is defeated by the top
button of my jeans..." She giggled again as he leaned in
close.
"Oh really?" He said softly, his hand quickly snaking
around her back. With a mysterious movement of his fingers, her
bra suddenly came undone. The Doctor grinned in victory, "I
will have you know, Miss Smith, that it takes much more than that
to defeat me."
The low, teasing undercurrent of his voice made shivers go up her
spine, even as she narrowed her eyes.
"Is that a challenge?" She cooed in a sweet voice,
grabbing a handful of his blowsy shirt and pulling it out of his
trousers. Pressing her advantage, she reached under the white
fabric to touch his skin, silently rejoicing when she heard him
gasp as saw him close his eyes.
"How's this?" She asked, cheekily.
"All right," He said, opening his eyes again and
smiling at her, "I'll concede defeat, this once."
"Oh, good." Sarah grinned and tugged at his shirt,
"Then you won't mind taking this off."
He laughed and did as she asked, pulling it off over his head
while she divested herself of her blouse and bra before leaning
back onto the pillows to unfasten her jeans. Then she felt the
weight of his gaze on her, heavy with desire.
"You're beautiful, Sarah." He said in a soft, reverent
whisper. Their eyes locked, and Sarah lost herself in the endless
blue depths of his eyes. She could feel the touch of his mind
through their strange link, the potency of his desire, the
intensity of his love and trust...
His fingers trailed down her body, their touch was cold, but
still left that trail of heat flaring across every nerve.
'Fire and ice...' she thought crazily, before coherent though
fled as he moved his mouth to her breasts, sending her back
arching off the bed.
Sarah was unaware of anything but the pleasure surging everywhere
he touched her...his wonderfully deft fingers wandering slowly
down her body, dancing teasingly around her thighs while she
mewled in protest at the glorious torture he was putting her
through, until at last his fingers slipped inside her, causing
her to cry out.
"Please..." She whimpered, her eyes pleading.
"Please what, Sarah? Tell me what you want."
"In...inside me...please..." She gasped.
"Anything for you," He said, his resonant voice holding
a burning intensity that thrilled and excited her. She looked up
at him as he shifted position, moving so he was on top of her,
their gaze stayed locked as he slowly, slowly pushed inside her,
making both of them cry out. He moved so slowly, so carefully,
mindful of her fragile, beautiful humanity. To Sarah, it simply
felt...perfect, as though he knew exactly how to move. His voice
was a constant in the air, speaking in a peculiar, lilting
language Sarah had never heard before, but which she assumed must
be his own language. Though the words were meaningless to her,
the touch of his fingers to her temple meant everything. It was
no longer her pleasure alone she could feel, as his ecstasy
joined with hers, mixing together, feeding of each other's
pleasure until Sarah felt she was about to drown in it. She could
feel the fire building up low in her belly. And the Doctor
was...everywhere. So intimate, so close to her...
Sarah's body arched as she cried out, white lights exploding
behind her closed eyes. A second later, the Doctor joined her,
shuddering with pleasure, his arms still wrapped around her,
protectively, lovingly.
Endlessly.
It was sometime later when Sarah spoke again.
The Doctor was spooned up behind her, dozing comfortably in her
warmth while she lie thinking. The conversation she had overheard
earlier still worried at her, and the curiosity she had developed
as a journalist told her that she simply had to ask.
"Doctor?" She said tentatively.
"Hmm?" He replied drowsily.
"Who's Theta Sigma?"
She felt his muscles stiffen. And internally she winced, fearing
she had just asked the wrong question. The Doctor rolled onto his
back, looking at the ceiling. Sarah quickly turned onto her other
side and looked at him anxiously.
"If I asked something I shouldn't have, I'm sorry..."
The Doctor shook his head, "No...it's all right." He
took a breath, "I'm Theta Sigma - or at least, I was."
"That's your name?" Sarah asked in surprise. He had
never told anyone his real name...and though his lack of a proper
name had bothered her at first, by now it had almost ceased to be
relevant.
"It isn't a name," He said then, "It's an Academy
designation."
Sarah frowned, not understanding.
"When new student enter the academy, they're given a
designation based on a mathematic formulae. It means that any
tutor or lecturer in the Academy can instantly know what any
given student is supposed to learn simply by asking for their
designation."
"Supposed to learn? You mean you don't get to choose?"
Sarah asked incredulously.
The Doctor shook his head again, "No, you don't get to
choose. That decision is made for a Time Lord before he's even
created." There was the faintest trace of bitterness in his
voice, "One of the reasons I was looked down on while I was
on Gallifrey was because I wanted to know more than I was
supposed to."
Sarah shook her head, unable to imagine such an upbringing. For
someone like the Doctor, it must have been like living in a
straightjacket.
"But it doesn't matter now," She said, putting a
caressing hand on his chest. "You don't need them."
He smiled as he took her small hand in two his own.
"No," He said, "I don't. I told Borusa as much...I
don't think he liked it."
Sarah snuggled up close to him and closed her eyes. The rest of
Gallifrey didn't matter - no one there could know the Doctor as
she did.
With a smile, Sarah dropped off to sleep.
Together you and I,
We hold the key to all the answers,
Let go.
THE END!
