*****Notes for the rest of the story******
*Denotes thought*
//denotes the beginning or end of a dream sequence\\
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Breakfast the morning after presented a scene quite common to the wizarding school... although, it begs to be said that the muted hum of voices from the Gryffindor table held a happier tone than it had the past few months. It made Malfoy want to scream. He scowled viciously, ignoring the disappointed looks from the other Slytherins as he stabbed violently at his uneaten food. Some days he positively HATED Potter!!! *No you don't, it's not like that at all...* with a metal slap he silenced the nagging voice in his head. It was an almost welcome distraction when the mail arrived, the flurry of owls obscuring the enchanted ceiling almost totally with their outspread wings. Draco quickly recognized his father's owl was it made its graceful swoop down to the table, the small package landing neatly in Draco's lap. He wasted no time in removing the letter tied to the outside, eyes devouring the words, expression tightening at the negativity of his fathers message until...
Draco's stomach flipped. He read the last paragraph again, pausing to glare at the package in his lap. The letter again. The package. The letter. The package. Rising abruptly from his seat he swept out of the great hall to sulk further before class. He was almost positive he heard Weasley cheer at his back in the moment before the large doors swung closed behind him. The moment the heavy wood doors settled closed behind him he bolted, running like mad for his private room. He needed time to think.
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Draco,
It has been brought to my attention that you have failed us yet again. It was a simple enough task to complete, and yet Harry Potter walked off the Quidditch pitch in one piece, and with a Gryffindor victory I might add. We were counting on you to knock him off his broom as you know, and I have to admit your obvious disdain for your missions is beginning to reflect badly on the Malfoy name. The Dark Lord is not pleased boy, and neither am I.
This is your very last chance to do things right for once. Enclosed is a vial of deadly digitalis, extracted from the foxglove plants your mother is so very fond of. It is your job to ensure the entire vial winds up in Potter's mouth by stealth or by force if necessary. Sneak it into his food, corner him in a hallway, whatever it takes. The potency will ensure that he will be dead long before he can talk about any violent encounters. If you are caught you will reveal nothing of your involvement with the Dark Lord. We suggest you swallow your tongue to kill yourself and avoid any interrogation. Remember your Malfoy honour boy.
Lucius
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Draco sat on the window seat, twisting the letter in angry hands, yet not tearing it. He may yet need it if his plan was going to work. The thought did little to ease his rage however. In the two days since he had received the package, he had spent increasing amounts of time in his small haven deep in thought, carefully weighing the pros and cons of his actions. He had caved in this morning however, and sent Dumbledore an owl with directions to his room, telling himself it was done all for his own benefit. *And Harry's benefit never once factored into your decision?"* The vial sat next to him, it's deadly prize masked by the rainbow reflections of sunlight it scattered. Draco wanted to throw it against the wall. Or maybe, open it and swallow the contents himself. Heaven knows it would make his choice a whole lot easier. The opening of the room's single door startled him back to reality. The aged figure of Hogwarts' headmaster appeared in the doorway, concern for the student evident in his wrinkled face. Draco had to force down a nasty dismissal, his contempt for the man before him ignored in favor of the help he desperately needed.
"You wished to see me Draco?" The older wizard made no reference to the fact that classes had begun a half-hour ago. For that, Draco was oddly thankful.
"Yes, is here okay?" Draco had been careful to detail the secretive nature of his confession in his hurried letter to the headmaster. Dumbledore nodded and took his seat on the other end of the ledge from the teenage boy, as if knowing his presence created a nervous feeling in the latter. For his part Draco was good about hiding it; he didn't trust his voice though, so he instead thrust the worn letter into the older mans' hands and sat back, staring desperately around the room for a possible escape. Dumbledore took his time in reading and rereading the letter, frowning slightly as he did. He at last refolded the letter, settling back against the wall, looking at Draco over his half-moon glasses. Draco realized he was waiting for him to speak. He took a deep breath.
"I can't do it." Draco did not feel the need to specify why exactly. Dumbledore nodded slowly.
"What can you do mister Malfoy?" Draco almost winced at the use of his last name, but he held steady, maintaining eye contact.
"Spy, fight, kill death eaters, whatever you bloody want." Even in his desperation, Draco did not miss the slight amusement Dumbledore had at his outburst. Draco frowned before continuing. "Even if you don't believe me it's true. You can test me under veritaserum." Dumbledore smiled and stood.
"Well then young man, I would go on to you next class. I will speak to professor Snape about your absence, and see if he won't brew some truth potion for us then. You understand of course, that it is merely a precautionary measure." Draco nodded his head once in understanding. Without any more words Dumbledore left. Draco soon did too, off to his transfiguration class, deadly poison in his pocket, next to his wand.
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They met again the next night, just after supper. Dumbledore ushered Draco past the gargoyle and into his office. Snape was already waiting for them, flask of veritaserum in hand and regular scowl on his face. The professor wasn't the only person present however, and certainly not the one that caught Draco's eye and made him freeze in his place. Seated at the large desk was Potter. With an unidentifiable sound that may have been mistaken for anguish, Malfoy turned on his heel and headed back the way he'd come. It was only the timely intervention of Snape in the form of a hand on his shoulder that stopped his further progression.
"I trust your not going to back out on us now are you, mister Malfoy?" Draco swallowed hard, grimaced and turned around sharply, gathering the remaining bits of his pride around him like a shield. Wordlessly he plunked himself down in the seat farthest from Harry and tried desperately to avoid his eyes without seeming blatantly obvious about it. For his part Harry seemed to do the same thing for him, which suited Draco just fine. *At least Granger and Weasley aren't here to make this any worse.*
"Do to the nature of the situation, I felt it best that Harry was present to hear this." Dumbledore presented that last statement, flawed logic and all while he took his seat behind the desk and motioned for Snape to be seated too. The dark-haired man stalwartly refused, instead standing behind Draco and slightly to the right. Draco was glad for his presence; his housemaster had always been one of the few people on the planet he was comfortable around. Snape leaned forward and handing him the flask filled with a substance the strongly resembled water in all manners. Draco took it in a hand that was, and he was proud to admit, not shaking.
"Just one sip will be enough, unless you wish to be very... forthcoming with your teachers come tomorrow." Figuring it was as close to a good luck Malfoy as he was going to get, Draco closed his eyes and sipped.
Nothing happened immediately, he was only aware of the liquids icy-cold path to his stomach. He folded his hands and waited, feeling intensely small under the scrutiny of the three other individuals in the room. After almost ten minutes of tense silence, the Headmaster looked up from the report he had been writing and smiled warmly, although it did little to calm Draco's sudden case of nerves.
"Well then mister Malfoy, shall we continue?" Draco opened his mouth to reply yes.
"About time, I've tired of sitting here like an idiot with you three breathing down my neck." His eyes widened and a hand flew to his mouth to stop the flow of words. Apparently, veritaserum has amazing results. Snape and Dumbledore had barely batted an eye, obviously expecting an outburst like that. Harry on the other hand looked quite surprised. Dumbledore wasted no time in beginning his questioning.
"Draco, are you acting under any orders from Voldemort, your father, or any other death eaters?" Draco snorted in contempt.
"No, I can hardly stand the spineless, gutless and brainless gits the Dark Lord calls his followers. He's a raving lunatic who'd do better to off himself and save us all a whole lot of trouble." Draco smirked, happy to see Potter quite shocked at his response, and mentally congratulated himself.
"Well then, are you currently under the imperious curse?
"Not since this summer I haven't been." Draco bit his lip, he hadn't wanted to exactly share that little incident, and the memories were bad enough... Thankfully Dumbledore did not see it fit for him to elaborate and moved on.
"One last question then, mister Malfoy, before we let you go for tonight. Can you tell us what your motivation was for your decision?"
There it was, the one question Draco had been loathing the whole time, the one he really didn't want to answer. It might mean baring all, and that was not an option. He took several deep breaths to clear his head before answering.
"There was no other satisfactory alternative. It was his life or mine, and although our... history may say otherwise, I... I don't hate him at all, definitely not enough to kill him. I couldn't do it Harry." Draco paused to make eye contact with the other teenage boy. "I'm no killer, I'm no death eater, I never wanted to be, and I had no way to get myself out of this on my own... I needed help." He looked down after his concession, actually pleased with the answer, although embarrassed at the same time. Snape stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, and motioned for him to leave.
"Do go to bed and get some rest boys, I'm afraid it's later then I had planned." Dumbledore said in gentle dismissal. Harry smiled and bid him goodnight before he followed Draco avoiding eye contact as Snape let them out of the office. The moment they had rounded the corner on the way to the dorms however, Harry's whole demeanor changed and he moved in front of Draco, placing his hands on Draco's forearms to halt his progress and hold his under his green-eyed gaze. Draco decided this was a decidedly uncomfortable situation, but not being one to run when challenged, he instead attempted to stare Harry down. His deep concentration was broken however, when Harry opened his mouth to speak.
"Alright Draco, out with it. If you don't hate me, why the whole I'm-a-rich-little-bastard-and-I'm-better-than-you-are act all these years, hmm?" Draco suddenly felt somewhat faint, and he wasn't sure if it was the sudden fear at his inevitable answer or the close proximity of Harry to him. Try as he might though, the veritaserum would not be denied a chance to make his life hell.
"Everything I've done since that first day has been for you." Harry snorted in disbelief, forcing Draco to continue. "Really! Well, at the beginning of first year maybe not, I was a spoiled little rich kid who hadn't got his way, but I honestly wanted to change that by the time Christmas had come. I was even ready to give Ron and Hermione a chance, I mean, they couldn't be that bad if they hung around you could they? The whole school worshipped the ground you walked on and I... I wanted to be part of that. I wanted to be MORE than that! I wanted to be your friend..."
Draco had to stop for a moment to fight with his composure before continuing. "I wrote you a letter. It took me all night Harry, it told you everything I'm telling you now. I planned to give it to you after breakfast, in person, but... I got an owl, from my father. He'd just heard the news; the great Harry Potter was in his son's year at Hogwarts. I became a means to an end Harry. He wanted me to hurt you, like he does now. He could have used me, under imperious... I couldn't let that happen. The more you hated me, the safer you were. If we weren't close it just made it that must harder for my father to use me to reach you." Draco stared hard at his shoes, exhausted with his confession, but not quite finished. "I'm so sorry. You have no idea how sorry..." Not even with every once of his strength and pride could Draco raise his face and meet Harry's eyes.
"Draco..." Harry started, but he never finished, just sighed and turned away, walking quickly back to the Gryffindor dorms, leaving Draco alone with his thoughts and nightmares once more.
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Hey there faithful readers, so sorry for the long wait. I had the most difficult time trying to figure out how to write out Draco's confession, I swear I must have typed it ten times over before I hit upon this one, which I think is good enough. I'm not so sure on the spelling of veritaserum though, so if I've spelled it wrong could someone please review and tell me? Thank you very much for those that have reviewed already. The next chapter is yet untitled, and indeed the exact plot is rather murky so it could be another couple of weeks before I can get it to work for me. Happy reading until then.
*Denotes thought*
//denotes the beginning or end of a dream sequence\\
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Breakfast the morning after presented a scene quite common to the wizarding school... although, it begs to be said that the muted hum of voices from the Gryffindor table held a happier tone than it had the past few months. It made Malfoy want to scream. He scowled viciously, ignoring the disappointed looks from the other Slytherins as he stabbed violently at his uneaten food. Some days he positively HATED Potter!!! *No you don't, it's not like that at all...* with a metal slap he silenced the nagging voice in his head. It was an almost welcome distraction when the mail arrived, the flurry of owls obscuring the enchanted ceiling almost totally with their outspread wings. Draco quickly recognized his father's owl was it made its graceful swoop down to the table, the small package landing neatly in Draco's lap. He wasted no time in removing the letter tied to the outside, eyes devouring the words, expression tightening at the negativity of his fathers message until...
Draco's stomach flipped. He read the last paragraph again, pausing to glare at the package in his lap. The letter again. The package. The letter. The package. Rising abruptly from his seat he swept out of the great hall to sulk further before class. He was almost positive he heard Weasley cheer at his back in the moment before the large doors swung closed behind him. The moment the heavy wood doors settled closed behind him he bolted, running like mad for his private room. He needed time to think.
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Draco,
It has been brought to my attention that you have failed us yet again. It was a simple enough task to complete, and yet Harry Potter walked off the Quidditch pitch in one piece, and with a Gryffindor victory I might add. We were counting on you to knock him off his broom as you know, and I have to admit your obvious disdain for your missions is beginning to reflect badly on the Malfoy name. The Dark Lord is not pleased boy, and neither am I.
This is your very last chance to do things right for once. Enclosed is a vial of deadly digitalis, extracted from the foxglove plants your mother is so very fond of. It is your job to ensure the entire vial winds up in Potter's mouth by stealth or by force if necessary. Sneak it into his food, corner him in a hallway, whatever it takes. The potency will ensure that he will be dead long before he can talk about any violent encounters. If you are caught you will reveal nothing of your involvement with the Dark Lord. We suggest you swallow your tongue to kill yourself and avoid any interrogation. Remember your Malfoy honour boy.
Lucius
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Draco sat on the window seat, twisting the letter in angry hands, yet not tearing it. He may yet need it if his plan was going to work. The thought did little to ease his rage however. In the two days since he had received the package, he had spent increasing amounts of time in his small haven deep in thought, carefully weighing the pros and cons of his actions. He had caved in this morning however, and sent Dumbledore an owl with directions to his room, telling himself it was done all for his own benefit. *And Harry's benefit never once factored into your decision?"* The vial sat next to him, it's deadly prize masked by the rainbow reflections of sunlight it scattered. Draco wanted to throw it against the wall. Or maybe, open it and swallow the contents himself. Heaven knows it would make his choice a whole lot easier. The opening of the room's single door startled him back to reality. The aged figure of Hogwarts' headmaster appeared in the doorway, concern for the student evident in his wrinkled face. Draco had to force down a nasty dismissal, his contempt for the man before him ignored in favor of the help he desperately needed.
"You wished to see me Draco?" The older wizard made no reference to the fact that classes had begun a half-hour ago. For that, Draco was oddly thankful.
"Yes, is here okay?" Draco had been careful to detail the secretive nature of his confession in his hurried letter to the headmaster. Dumbledore nodded and took his seat on the other end of the ledge from the teenage boy, as if knowing his presence created a nervous feeling in the latter. For his part Draco was good about hiding it; he didn't trust his voice though, so he instead thrust the worn letter into the older mans' hands and sat back, staring desperately around the room for a possible escape. Dumbledore took his time in reading and rereading the letter, frowning slightly as he did. He at last refolded the letter, settling back against the wall, looking at Draco over his half-moon glasses. Draco realized he was waiting for him to speak. He took a deep breath.
"I can't do it." Draco did not feel the need to specify why exactly. Dumbledore nodded slowly.
"What can you do mister Malfoy?" Draco almost winced at the use of his last name, but he held steady, maintaining eye contact.
"Spy, fight, kill death eaters, whatever you bloody want." Even in his desperation, Draco did not miss the slight amusement Dumbledore had at his outburst. Draco frowned before continuing. "Even if you don't believe me it's true. You can test me under veritaserum." Dumbledore smiled and stood.
"Well then young man, I would go on to you next class. I will speak to professor Snape about your absence, and see if he won't brew some truth potion for us then. You understand of course, that it is merely a precautionary measure." Draco nodded his head once in understanding. Without any more words Dumbledore left. Draco soon did too, off to his transfiguration class, deadly poison in his pocket, next to his wand.
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They met again the next night, just after supper. Dumbledore ushered Draco past the gargoyle and into his office. Snape was already waiting for them, flask of veritaserum in hand and regular scowl on his face. The professor wasn't the only person present however, and certainly not the one that caught Draco's eye and made him freeze in his place. Seated at the large desk was Potter. With an unidentifiable sound that may have been mistaken for anguish, Malfoy turned on his heel and headed back the way he'd come. It was only the timely intervention of Snape in the form of a hand on his shoulder that stopped his further progression.
"I trust your not going to back out on us now are you, mister Malfoy?" Draco swallowed hard, grimaced and turned around sharply, gathering the remaining bits of his pride around him like a shield. Wordlessly he plunked himself down in the seat farthest from Harry and tried desperately to avoid his eyes without seeming blatantly obvious about it. For his part Harry seemed to do the same thing for him, which suited Draco just fine. *At least Granger and Weasley aren't here to make this any worse.*
"Do to the nature of the situation, I felt it best that Harry was present to hear this." Dumbledore presented that last statement, flawed logic and all while he took his seat behind the desk and motioned for Snape to be seated too. The dark-haired man stalwartly refused, instead standing behind Draco and slightly to the right. Draco was glad for his presence; his housemaster had always been one of the few people on the planet he was comfortable around. Snape leaned forward and handing him the flask filled with a substance the strongly resembled water in all manners. Draco took it in a hand that was, and he was proud to admit, not shaking.
"Just one sip will be enough, unless you wish to be very... forthcoming with your teachers come tomorrow." Figuring it was as close to a good luck Malfoy as he was going to get, Draco closed his eyes and sipped.
Nothing happened immediately, he was only aware of the liquids icy-cold path to his stomach. He folded his hands and waited, feeling intensely small under the scrutiny of the three other individuals in the room. After almost ten minutes of tense silence, the Headmaster looked up from the report he had been writing and smiled warmly, although it did little to calm Draco's sudden case of nerves.
"Well then mister Malfoy, shall we continue?" Draco opened his mouth to reply yes.
"About time, I've tired of sitting here like an idiot with you three breathing down my neck." His eyes widened and a hand flew to his mouth to stop the flow of words. Apparently, veritaserum has amazing results. Snape and Dumbledore had barely batted an eye, obviously expecting an outburst like that. Harry on the other hand looked quite surprised. Dumbledore wasted no time in beginning his questioning.
"Draco, are you acting under any orders from Voldemort, your father, or any other death eaters?" Draco snorted in contempt.
"No, I can hardly stand the spineless, gutless and brainless gits the Dark Lord calls his followers. He's a raving lunatic who'd do better to off himself and save us all a whole lot of trouble." Draco smirked, happy to see Potter quite shocked at his response, and mentally congratulated himself.
"Well then, are you currently under the imperious curse?
"Not since this summer I haven't been." Draco bit his lip, he hadn't wanted to exactly share that little incident, and the memories were bad enough... Thankfully Dumbledore did not see it fit for him to elaborate and moved on.
"One last question then, mister Malfoy, before we let you go for tonight. Can you tell us what your motivation was for your decision?"
There it was, the one question Draco had been loathing the whole time, the one he really didn't want to answer. It might mean baring all, and that was not an option. He took several deep breaths to clear his head before answering.
"There was no other satisfactory alternative. It was his life or mine, and although our... history may say otherwise, I... I don't hate him at all, definitely not enough to kill him. I couldn't do it Harry." Draco paused to make eye contact with the other teenage boy. "I'm no killer, I'm no death eater, I never wanted to be, and I had no way to get myself out of this on my own... I needed help." He looked down after his concession, actually pleased with the answer, although embarrassed at the same time. Snape stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, and motioned for him to leave.
"Do go to bed and get some rest boys, I'm afraid it's later then I had planned." Dumbledore said in gentle dismissal. Harry smiled and bid him goodnight before he followed Draco avoiding eye contact as Snape let them out of the office. The moment they had rounded the corner on the way to the dorms however, Harry's whole demeanor changed and he moved in front of Draco, placing his hands on Draco's forearms to halt his progress and hold his under his green-eyed gaze. Draco decided this was a decidedly uncomfortable situation, but not being one to run when challenged, he instead attempted to stare Harry down. His deep concentration was broken however, when Harry opened his mouth to speak.
"Alright Draco, out with it. If you don't hate me, why the whole I'm-a-rich-little-bastard-and-I'm-better-than-you-are act all these years, hmm?" Draco suddenly felt somewhat faint, and he wasn't sure if it was the sudden fear at his inevitable answer or the close proximity of Harry to him. Try as he might though, the veritaserum would not be denied a chance to make his life hell.
"Everything I've done since that first day has been for you." Harry snorted in disbelief, forcing Draco to continue. "Really! Well, at the beginning of first year maybe not, I was a spoiled little rich kid who hadn't got his way, but I honestly wanted to change that by the time Christmas had come. I was even ready to give Ron and Hermione a chance, I mean, they couldn't be that bad if they hung around you could they? The whole school worshipped the ground you walked on and I... I wanted to be part of that. I wanted to be MORE than that! I wanted to be your friend..."
Draco had to stop for a moment to fight with his composure before continuing. "I wrote you a letter. It took me all night Harry, it told you everything I'm telling you now. I planned to give it to you after breakfast, in person, but... I got an owl, from my father. He'd just heard the news; the great Harry Potter was in his son's year at Hogwarts. I became a means to an end Harry. He wanted me to hurt you, like he does now. He could have used me, under imperious... I couldn't let that happen. The more you hated me, the safer you were. If we weren't close it just made it that must harder for my father to use me to reach you." Draco stared hard at his shoes, exhausted with his confession, but not quite finished. "I'm so sorry. You have no idea how sorry..." Not even with every once of his strength and pride could Draco raise his face and meet Harry's eyes.
"Draco..." Harry started, but he never finished, just sighed and turned away, walking quickly back to the Gryffindor dorms, leaving Draco alone with his thoughts and nightmares once more.
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Hey there faithful readers, so sorry for the long wait. I had the most difficult time trying to figure out how to write out Draco's confession, I swear I must have typed it ten times over before I hit upon this one, which I think is good enough. I'm not so sure on the spelling of veritaserum though, so if I've spelled it wrong could someone please review and tell me? Thank you very much for those that have reviewed already. The next chapter is yet untitled, and indeed the exact plot is rather murky so it could be another couple of weeks before I can get it to work for me. Happy reading until then.