Relive
By: Peanutbutter
Chapter 12 'Dreams'
"Alisa, wake up." Kirk pounded on her door for a moment and sighed heavily when there was no response. She hadn't come out since the outburst the other day and the fight with Spike.
"I say you kick the bloody door in. Almost did that once, with the nibblet, she was pitching a bloody awful fight." Spike emerged from the watcher's room looking worse for wear. His face was still swollen and he hitched slightly when he walked clutching his ribs.
"I see you're back to yourself." Angel commented from the table. They'd propped the broken end of the table on the edge of the sofa.
"What are you doin' here peaches? Thought you would have tottled on home with your lovely last night, but from the looks of it you slept on the couch." Spike winked at Cordelia and plopped down in a chair beside his reluctant but some how closest friend.
"I didn't trust you alone with them." Angel said bluntly.
"Good to know I still strike fear into the hearts of the living universe." He snorted and looked around the room. "So what's all this about anyway. I don't know much, just that some guy is gathering followers and for some reason, and the loyalty, a little on the obsessive side."
"We don't know much more than that either." Cordelia said slowly.
Spike raised a brow. "I can't believe this. I mean I thought you lot had a plan all worked out and to find out you know just as little as I do, great." Spike turned his head and focused on the Watcher who was turning the doorknob trying to pry it open, without much success. "Let me give it a go." Spike said rising and striding with a slight limp toward the door.
Kirk stood in front of it a moment, reluctant to let him 'have a go' as he had put it. He still didn't trust the unruly blond vampire. At least he knew that Angel had a soul, what in the world was stopping this one from killing all of them, well, beside his sort of sire.
"What are you going to do?" Kirk asked not moving.
"Lots of guts, mate. I hand it to you, not even a stutter, but it's not necessary. I'm just going to pick the lock." Spike smirked and kneeled in front of the door pushing the Watcher out of the way. Spike reached into his pocket and felt around for a moment for turning around. "Hey peaches, grab my coat will ya. I've got some stuff in there I can use."
Angel glowered for a moment. "Don't call me that." He said before getting to his feet. "I let it slide at first but…" He trailed off most of his words incoherent mumblings before he stepped back into the room. "Here." He thrust the jacket at Spike and went back to the table.
"Thanks a ton….Peaches." Spike added and sniggered. Turning away from Angel he reached into the jacket of his coat and pulled out a few things he'd kept over the years in the lock picking area. It wasn't too necessary now. Most houses had plates with hand identification plates. Those things were bloody near impossible to break into, not that he'd tried. Stealing seemed a bit cliché now–a-days, or maybe it was a bit out of style. Everyone had a security system or some such rot made thievery a very risky business. Spike's thoughts trailed off for a moment as he thought of his current actions. Breaking into a slayer's bedroom could most definitely be considered risky business. He hadn't even dared do it to Buffy; of course her door had always been unlocked. Before Spike's thoughts wandered any farther something popped and he looked back up at the watcher and smiled.
"All done, mate," He backed up, "but you do the opening. I don't plan on getting all dusty just yet."
"Right," Kirk slipped in front of the vamp and pushed the unlocked door and stepped into the semi darkened room, the only light coming from the open window. "Alisa?" Kirk called and looked around the room for a moment trying to catch her form somewhere in the shadows. "Lights," He said softly bathing the room in an artificial glow. He blinked for a moment before realizing it was empty. Sighing, he shut the door behind him went to the window. He leaned his head into the cool morning air and looked up. He could see to bare feet hanging over the edge of the roof.
"Alisa, come down, or I'm going to come up there."
There was a moment of silence before she replied. "You're not my father Kirk. I don't have a father and I certainly don't want one."
"I'm your watcher, and I'm in charge of you." Kirk said. His was neck starting to feel stiff from looking upward, his body twisted at an odd angel.
"Great, good to know," Alisa started bitterly, "always thought I was in prison at least now I know you're my warden."
Kirk sighed, and started to climb out the window. He stepped out on the ledge and grabbed hold of the roof, just to the left of her dangling legs and started to pull himself up. It was a little bit of work, but he wasn't weak, he'd trained Alisa and acquired quite a few skills of his own while he was at it, and he made it up with minimal struggle. He was breathing heavily when he finally managed to sit beside her. She hadn't looked at him through his entire struggle, just staring hauntingly toward the horizon.
"I come up here when I want to think." She said after a moment.
"I know," Kirk said, breathing
heavily for a moment before gathering his jean clad legs underneath him and
leaning on his knees. "I don't think I
have to worry about you falling, so I leave you alone."
"I don't trust them, especially Spike." She shook her head but still refused to look at him. "I read her diary, Dawn's, I read it."
"Really," Kirk said and raised an inquisitive brow.
"They trusted him, Spike. She trusted him with her life, the slayer, Buffy, she trusted him with the life of her sister. He almost died to save her, Dawn that is, and Buffy she did die. She died to save the world." Alisa's voice broke. She regained her composure and started again. "And you know what my first reaction to that was?"
Kirk didn't answer, but continued to watch her as she wrapped her arms around her knees and started to tremble.
"I think save the world, fuck the world, I wouldn't give my life for the worthless bastards that inhabit it. My parents did give a fuck about me, nobody wanted me except the council, and hey, they want me to sacrifice my life to save the very people who damned me, and I don't owe them anything." Alisa turned around her blue eyes full of bitter tears. "I think that if I had been her, if I would have been Buffy, I would have run. I think that I would have let the world be destroyed." A sob escaped her throat. "What kind of monster does that make me? I don't trust them, Spike, Angel, and the demon girl but all of them have attempted to sacrifice themselves for the greater good and I, I'm too much of a coward to do the same. Yet, they put faith in me, a seventeen year old who would throw them to the lions if it meant saving her own skin." She fell silent her face contorting. The pooling tears finally feel cascading down her cheeks in small rivers. "Don't want…" She started, "to loose you. I can't…I..I..."
Kirk's heart was breaking at the sight of her. He loved her with all his heart, and in that moment his chest ached with the pain she was feeling. He had to do something, but he didn't know what to do. He could tell her it wasn't true, but it wouldn't make a difference. He watched her bathed in the light, he barely saw her in the daylight. Her curly chocolate brown locks fell around her face in spiraling curls and her skin was red from shed tears and grief. Her whole body shook. Kirk reached for her, pulling her body toward him and tucking her head under his chin. He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back rhythmically hoping that somehow he could take away her pain.
Alisa fell into his embrace wanting to drown in his touch. God, she loved him so much. Cuddled against his chest, she felt the pressures of the world melt from her shoulders and for a few moments there was peace. What would happen if she lost him? She wouldn't be able to survive without him. Unconsciously her arms snaked out and wrapped around his chest pulling him toward her as a fresh wave of tears ran down her cheeks. She had to tell him no matter how much it hurt. She had to tell him and then maybe he would tell her it wasn't true, that they would work it out, but right now she just wanted to be in his arms shielded from the world, a girl comforted in the arms of her lover.
Alisa swallowed feeling like she was about to be interrogated. All they needed was a light shining down on her head and a shadowy guy hiding in the corner. Kirk took her hand caressing her palm with his fingers and smiling at her in reassurance. "Tell us the dream." Kirk said slowly and dropped her hand as he sat back in his chair and nodded in encouragement.
Alisa let her eyes flit over the occupants of the room taking in their expressions for a moment. Angel and Cordelia both appeared very interested in what she had to say, but Spike seemed almost bored. He was leaning back in his chair that was pushed against the wall, two of the chair legs off the floor and his head thrown back staring at the ceiling. Every few seconds he would look to her and see she still wasn't talking and look back to the ceiling as if it could somehow be more interesting. Alisa resisted the urge to look up, and focused on Kirk she swallowed and started to speak her eyes focusing on the spot behind him, as if she were watching the dream play in front of her.
"It always starts the same. I feel sick, and can't see anything, my vision's all blurry. I'm sweating and my stomach is killing me. I think I'm going to throw up, but I don't. I'm in some sort of cavern, cave type thing and the only weapon I have is a stake." She lifted her hand as if gripping a stake and continued. "I'm walking and I hear you calling me." Alisa can't look at him as she says it. "I hear you calling me, Kirk, you tell me to come to you, and I listen. I'm begging you to help me, but you don't you just keep calling me. I'm pleading by the time I reach you. I drop my stake and you are still blurry. I can't make out your features until you grab me." Alisa shuddered inwardly. "You grab me and I can tell it's not you. Your, your voice is different and I can't pull away from you. You tell me it's all right and then…you pull out a dagger and cut me." Her voice was shaking and she refused to look at anyone. "You drop me, and I can feel the blood pouring from my body, I feel myself dying. Always, at this time, you come." Alisa trailed off and swept past Kirk and looked directly at Spike. "You're always there. You tell me to things aren't always what they seem. You put your hand on my stomach and try to stop the bleeding. You comfort me." She swallowed and turned from the vampire's surprised expression and back to the wall. "Then I see him, or at least I see his eyes. He looks at me unimpressed talking about how he's going to kill me and then I see him again, he's bathing in blood. He pours buckets of it over his head smiling and beside him there is a body, and I know that she's been drained, that it's her blood he's bathing in. Then it gets closer and I see her. It's me. I see my wide, dead, eyes. He kills me every time." She trailed off waiting for someone to speak.
"You should have told us earlier."
Alisa looked up and saw Kirk's caring eyes darkened with anger. "You've risked your life by not telling me. I could be what he uses to get to you. I…you've been foolish and selfish. I might be able to stop this if I'd known. I'd be looking of it…I'd…"
"Pull yourself away from me." Alisa finished.
"Yes." Kirk said getting to his feet and pacing the room in a very Spike like fashion. "How could you do this? I could have killed you. If that happened, who would stop this?"
"I told you," Alisa sniffed, "I told you how I was. I told you and I don't want to loose you."
Kirk looked at her for a moment as if he was about to soften before turning to others. "Does any of this mean anything to you?"
"Well it explains why I saw Spike in the vision." Cordelia said and turned to Angel. "I don't know about the demon though. I can't remember anything that would…" She trailed off when she saw Angel's black and utterly horrified face. "What?"
"I know who it is." Angel said suddenly. His face was somehow paler than usual. "I…I mean when I was Angelus." He frowned slightly as if trying to get his memory to corporate. "It's hard for me to remember. I was going…"
"You were going to call him here. You were going to unleash unbelievable hell on earth with him. I remember. It was right before Acathala was discovered, right before Dru's vision. You were looking for a way to torture the world; you were a right git for it. Hell on earth is what you wanted, but I looked more toward the future. You see if it were hell on earth what the bleedin' hell would I eat. I'm not snaking on the god awful demon population."
"To the point," Kirk said impatiently.
"Right, I mean Angelus was looking for something to get the Slayer, which I was all for at the time and he came across this passage. It talked about a demon that had the ability to put anyone under his control, mostly those of the demon variety and when he did they would serve him forever. The problem was he was stuck in some sort of limbo in between worlds. No one knew where so no one could let him out. He was trapped there by witches or something."
"So how did he get out?" Kirk asked.
Spike shook his head. "No idea mate, but I would say we've got a problem on our hands. I mean Angelus knew better than to try and find him. He was never one to share. The bloke can control anyone. All he needs is to know them, to know what they're about and he can have them, own them."
"It's like a thrall." Angel said suddenly. "An unbreakable one, once he has you it's impossible to break free."
"How do we stop him?" Alisa asked. "Before, I mean before my dream comes true."
"You have to know him." Angel said slowly. "You have to know what he's made of you have to know his name, his purpose. You have to be in his mind only then can you break him."
"Sounds a lot like you're former self." Spike said not really smiling. "I mean how you played mind games and everything."
"Yeah, right," Angel frowned and looked away from Spike. "We're in trouble."
"Why I mean he hasn't finished yet, I mean if he's so all powerful why hasn't he finished us all off yet?" Alisa asked.
"He could. He wants you first. As soon as he kills you and word spreads. He'll take over Sunnydale before they have time to call another Slayer, and by then he'll be too powerful to stop." Kirk said slowly. "Right?"
Angel nodded and Cordelia grabbed his hand squeezing it. "Man the powers have been building up to this one, huh. They just couldn't give us a couple of little ones of the years. It had to be one huge one."
"Well the powers always were a couple of vindictive bastards." Spike said.
"So where do we start?" Kirk asked more to himself than anyone else.
"Well, I don't mean to sound smug because believe me I wish this wasn't the case but I beginning to wonder just why it is this guy is after me. I mean he purposefully seeks me out to kill me, and hell I'm in the Slayer's dreams." Spike grumbled and tipped his balancing chair back onto four legs.
The Watcher was silent for a moment before speaking, "Aside from your past history with the other Slayer I don't think there is anything that ties you into, this besides the dreams, and the bit of insight you seem to have on this demon. I haven't been able to fully analyze the dreams. Perhaps after a few more…"
"I've already told you everything. Why do I have to do it again?" Alisa asked her arms crossed defiantly over her chest.
"There are things that you miss especially when you're distracted by the more scary aspects of a vision. Perhaps, with a little more analysis you'll be able to see something you didn't before." Kirk said promptly before looking over Alicia's troubled expression and softening slightly from his role as watcher. "Not now of course. I mean we'll wait a while…" He trailed off and turned to Angel. "What did you see in your visions? I mean what did you see about Spike?"
Cordelia swallowed, and shook her head. "Well there wasn't a lot I mean I saw him fighting this demon; there was a lot of flashing…"
Angel gave her a sympathetic look before turning back to the watcher. "The visions are never very clear, not at first anyway, but they are always true and if Cordy saw Spike helping then he needs to be here."
Kirk nodded, "I wasn't questioning, not really. I was just wondering if you had any other insight."
"If you're done I think I ought to do a patrol." Alisa said, as she got to her feet uncomfortable at being the center of attention.
"We're coming with you." Angel said quickly and got an affirmative nod from Cordelia.
"Don't think you're leavin' me here." Spike said as he watched the emotions flickering around in his sire's eyes. "I'm looking for a little revenge."
"No," Angel said shortly, his voice not even wavering as his gaze turned away from Spike and back to Alicia. "I think just a short sweep of the largest two cemeteries would be sufficient. We can see if we find any talk about the demons that tried to do Spike in. They were Fyrals and the Terian which I know isn't prone to seeking others to do their work. Maybe a run by a couple of the demon bars would help."
Spike was slowly becoming furious. Not only was he being ordered around like he was incapable of making his own decisions but he was being ignored. "I'm not your child Angelus. I never have been, even when you were slapping me around and sending me to my room two hundred years ago you soddin' pillock. You can't keep me from goin' out. I want to get to the bottom of this as much as you do and I'm not sittin' in here like a soddin' git while you and the girls go for a night on the town!"
Angel was surprisingly calm despite Spike sudden outburst and turned back to the bleached vampire and answered calmly. "You're injured Spike. You would be more trouble than help."
"Little beat up, I admit," Spike said as he unconsciously rubbed his tapped ribs, "but still capable of lendin' a hand."
"Right," Angel nodded slowly and before anyone realized what was happening Angel leaped across the table and punched Spike lightly in the side.
Spike crumpled to the floor clutching his side his brow furrowed in anger as he glared up at his sire. "Bastard," he managed between puffs of air.
"I barely touched you Spike and you know it. Some demon comes up behind you and gives you a little poke and you're going to be rolling on the ground more trouble than help and you know it." Angel shook his head and extended his hand for Spike.
Spike merely glowered at the older vampire and ignored the helping hand. He rolled to all fours before struggling back to his feet. He was feeling like a pounce and if he couldn't fight, he really wanted a, "fucking drink."
"No." Angel said again.
Spike got to his feet feeling as if a bright white fire running up and down his spine and he wondered vaguely if Angelus had sent a wayward rib through an organ. Given, it wouldn't kill him but it would hurt a hell of a lot until it healed. "Like I said before not your child and well above the legal drinking age so I don't think you really have a say in the matter."
"We've all seen you drunk Spike, and no one wants to see it again." Angel shook his head and turned back to the others. The watcher and the slayer were regarding him a little slack jawed and Cordelia was glaring at him. He frowned, when he tried to catch Cordelia's eye and was denied. Once again Spike had gotten him in the dog house and all he had been doing was saving the fool hearty vamp from getting everyone into trouble, not to mention hurting himself. He was only worried.
"All right 'sire'," Spike sneered as he glowered at his Angel, "Whatever you say." With that Spike stalked into the other room clutching his side and cussing.
As soon as the door was shut Cordelia got to her feet and stalked toward Angel. Before he could say anything to his defense, she pulled her hand back and slapped him across the face. Without another word she followed the path Spike had taken only stopped for a moment in the kitchen before heading back out with a bottle of vodka in one hand and Dry Gin in the other.
"So I guess that means it's just the three of us for patrol," Alisa smirked as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Angel glowered at her as he stalked toward the door growling a 'come on' before the three of them headed into the night.
Cordelia didn't bother knocking as she pushed the vamp's door open and stepped into the darkened room. Spike was sitting in the middle of his bed his shirt in his hands the bruises of his recently lost fight visible even in the darkness that surrounded them. She could tell he was angry, more angry than usual. If their was anything Spike hated more than being called good it was being treated like he couldn't take care of himself. He considered it pity and the only ones who had ever been able to comfort him, without protest, were Buffy and Dawn and they were gone.
"I hate him," Spike mumbled not looking up from were his eyes were riveted to his bedspread.
"He doesn't mean to be like that." Cordelia said shaking her head. "I think finally having as reason for still being here has gone straight to his head. He has a tendency to act before he thinks."
"Yeah, well he's always been that way. From the first time I met him, when I was freshly turned and trying my best to make my mark; he's done this to me."
"I do believe you're referring to Angelus." Cordelia stated and leaned against the door effectively shutting it behind her.
"He's the same in either form, only when he's Angel he resists the urge to beat the shit out of me, most of the time." Spike touched his side gingerly. "I still hate him especially when he tries to understand me. He's never wanted to before."
Cordelia shook her head. There were so many issues swimming around in Spike's brain he was a walking psychological break through. He had every insecurity imaginable in addition to a superiority complex. He was a walking paradox. "I brought you a drink." She waved the vodka and the gin making them slosh.
"Yeah could use a drink." Spike reached his arm out and Cordelia handed him the Vodka and sat on the corner of the bed. She tucked her feet underneath her body and smiled at him as she uncapped her bottle and took a swig. She didn't make a face as the clear liquid burned its way down her throat. She looked up to see Spike staring at her.
"Take that pretty good cheerleader. Not even a face." Spike grinned and took a swig of his own bottle.
"Yeah well so many years being alive and you get used to it."
Spike took another swig and smiled. "Buffy used to get this little," he paused still smiling, "she'd wrinkled her nose up and make a 'yuck' noise."
Cordelia laughed as she took another burning sip. She was about to say something else when she looked at the sullen expression on the vamp's face.
"I miss her." He mumbled as he clasped the alcohol bottle loosely in his fingers. "Everyday is worse and being here around the two of you and the…slayer. I don't…" He trailed off.
Cordelia didn't know what to do as she watched him break down; he warped in age as his face contorted in agony. He looked so young.
"I can't get her out of my head and I don't know why. I don't want her gone, but every day is worse, every morning without her torture. I don't want to be alive anymore." He brought the bottle to his lips and began slurping heavily as he chugged most of the bottle without taking a moment to rest. "I wouldn't," he mumbled, "if I hadn't promised."
"Oh Spike," Cordelia reached across the bed to try and comfort him, but he pulled away from her arms.
"Just get out. I know you try, but I don't want anyone in here right now."
"I'm not leaving." Cordelia said firmly. "Whether you want me here or not, I'm not going."
"Fine stay you stupid bitch, see if I give a fuck." Spike mumbled and curled up on his side and let the few remaining gulps of vodka slide down his throat as he waited for her to give up and leave. Unfortunately she didn't seem to be giving up any time soon.
Sorry there was no chapter last week. That shouldn't happen again.