Hello!
Inuficcrzy back from winter hibernation to bring you more of Kristina! Sorry for the long delay, it's been a wild month. Or two. (sorry!)
I don't own the Evo cast, but my goodness, does Kurt look fine today.....what?
Oh yeah. Please forgive me, I cannot speak or spell German at all. Nope, not a bit of it. I know maybe a grand total of three words, ja, nien, and danke. That's it. So if Kurt sounds god-awful, it's my fault, I accept full responsibility.
Chap: Wayne Newton sings!
That's it. It was beyond official. Kurt Wagner, a.k.a. Kristina, had entered the ninth level of Hell. He was in third period, and more than ready to just scream out to God and man, "Look at me, I'm a cross-dresser!"
Anything to get out of Choir!
First period hadn't been that bad. They had gotten in mild trouble for being late, nothing big, and had sat through a relatively boring English class. It took some willpower to act like the other girls in there and look interested, but he managed. Kurt was a fairly good actor, if he said so himself. However, the entire process was complicated by the fact that every guy in the classroom was either checking him out or trying to catch his eye. 'Mien Gott, I've only been here two hours and they're circling me like vultures!' It made him a little ashamed for his gender.
By the end of the class, he had a small pile of hastily scribbled notes asking for 'her' phone number, if 'she' had a boyfriend, and what 'her' name was. One note even asked if 'she' was a virgin.
When he'd gotten out to the hall, most of the note-senders were standing by the door, waiting for her reply. He calmly answered, in his best girly voice, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!" Most of the guys had scattered like scared sheep, and a few girls had given him sympathetic looks.
Second period was slightly better. By that time, word of Kristina's 'bitch fit' had circulated like wildfire, and he had received fewer notes this time around. But it had been math class, and he was pretty good at math. One guy sitting next to him had seen him taking notes and been impressed.
Or something like that.
"Hey, you take great notes," he's whispered to 'her.' "Think you could help me study sometime?"
Kurt had rolled his eyes. If that wasn't the oldest trick in the book. "Was? Mien english, es no gutt." Translation problems always put the kibosh on that sort of thing.
Not this time. The guy had just smiled. "I don't think we'd study all that much."
Kristina had kicked him hard in the shin and had been very pleased with the jerk's high pitched yelp. The guy had gotten in trouble for disrupting class and had been given detention. Kurt had been very grateful to get out of there when the bell rang.
But when Jean had led him down towards the auditorium-"I can't believe you'd do this to me!" It was all he could do not to scream at Jean and just quietly hissed it at her. "Couldn't you have just let me skip this and go to the library? I can't sing in English!"
They were both in the Choir room, going through scales of notes to warm up for their practice pieces. Ms. Krane, the music teacher, normally went for a small break so that she wouldn't go deaf before they began their training, so they were mostly on their own. The cacophony easily masked the sound of his normal voice. Jean rolled her eyes and whispered back, "What's the big deal? Just sing in German."
"I can't sing in German either!" he hissed back.
"Watch your voice, 'Kristina,'" She warned. "What do you mean you can't sing in German? You 'are' German."
He glared at her and pointed to his throat. "My voice just changed, remember?"
"Oh, come on. It can't be that bad."
Kurt scowled and made one single loud note.
A glass vase of flowers sitting on the teacher's desk cracked.
Every single girl in the place turned and stared. Kristina turned beet red while Jean tentatively took her hands off her ears. "Jezzus Whizmo, I think I just went deaf," she whimpered.
One of the sopranos came up to Kristina. "Honey, why on earth are you at school today?"
He sulked, but pointed at Jean, remembering to do his girl voice. "She made me come." Uh-oh. That came out like a croak.
The girl just stared at 'her' before saying, "Jean! How could you make someone with strepp throat come to choir practice?!"
"Strepp throat?" he croaked again. 'Dammit, I thought I finally got over this part!'
"What else could it be? You poor girl, in a new country 'and' sick!" Suddenly the fuzzy dude was surrounded by girls clucking over him, making him sit, and bringing him a can of soda from the machine down the hall. Kurt just stared in surprise. He was fairly sure that any other time he would have been teased mercilessly for what just happened. Instead they were all acting like he was their new pampered pet.
He full out grinned and started thanking every girl in the room, and mentioning his sweet cousin Kurt who might join choir sometime. He could get used to this.
"Hey, does anyone know any German?" the same girl, Lanie, called out.
The Delphis twins, two of the hottest girls in all of Bayville High, looked at each other and immediately sang out like Wayne Newton, "Dallll-kuh-shay, darlin', Dallll-kuh-shay----"
Kurt almost cracked a rib laughing. 'Ach, mien Gott. Th-that's terrible!' He desperately tried to correct them before he wet his pants laughing. "Nien, nien-I mean, no! Danke, not 'dallkuh."
Jean was alternating between staring and laughing. 'My god,' she thought to herself. 'He's looks like a female pimp, surrounded by adoring women. This just looks so wrong.' She had to get a picture of this. She rooted through her bag and found the camera. Just as the flash clicked, her brain finally registered what she was seeing and discovered something dangerous.
Jean was used to seeing Kurt as he was, blue and furry, so when she took pictures of him at the mansion when he had the inducer off, that was what she saw through the camera lens. When she took pics for the yearbook and he was there, it had always been a little disturbing to see him as a normal human guy. So when she'd taken this picture, she'd seen nothing wrong with how he'd looked.
Except for one obvious, glaring difference.
Instead of looking like a girl, like 'Kristina', he'd looked like Kurt. The blue fuzzy dude. In the clothes he was really wearing before he switched the program on, and a pair of ridiculous looking Jerusalem Cruisers.
But that was beside the point.
The Kristina hologram program, unlike the male hologram, did not photograph.
.........
...........
This was both very scary and very, very funny.
%%%$$$####
thanks for reviewing me!!! Please review again!
Dark Jaded Rose and Lady LeBeau: thank you both so much for reviewing me.
Abbie Solar Star: I know exactly what you mean, and yes the men's room is so gross!
Thanks to everyone!
RahneMan
Rogue 14
Aqueous
Kage-robot-of-darkness
SperryDee
Glaivestar
Gavin
Tainyeh
Sparkle kiwi
Elrohirthewriter (cool name, dude!)
And red-angel-wings!
Inuficcrzy back from winter hibernation to bring you more of Kristina! Sorry for the long delay, it's been a wild month. Or two. (sorry!)
I don't own the Evo cast, but my goodness, does Kurt look fine today.....what?
Oh yeah. Please forgive me, I cannot speak or spell German at all. Nope, not a bit of it. I know maybe a grand total of three words, ja, nien, and danke. That's it. So if Kurt sounds god-awful, it's my fault, I accept full responsibility.
Chap: Wayne Newton sings!
That's it. It was beyond official. Kurt Wagner, a.k.a. Kristina, had entered the ninth level of Hell. He was in third period, and more than ready to just scream out to God and man, "Look at me, I'm a cross-dresser!"
Anything to get out of Choir!
First period hadn't been that bad. They had gotten in mild trouble for being late, nothing big, and had sat through a relatively boring English class. It took some willpower to act like the other girls in there and look interested, but he managed. Kurt was a fairly good actor, if he said so himself. However, the entire process was complicated by the fact that every guy in the classroom was either checking him out or trying to catch his eye. 'Mien Gott, I've only been here two hours and they're circling me like vultures!' It made him a little ashamed for his gender.
By the end of the class, he had a small pile of hastily scribbled notes asking for 'her' phone number, if 'she' had a boyfriend, and what 'her' name was. One note even asked if 'she' was a virgin.
When he'd gotten out to the hall, most of the note-senders were standing by the door, waiting for her reply. He calmly answered, in his best girly voice, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!" Most of the guys had scattered like scared sheep, and a few girls had given him sympathetic looks.
Second period was slightly better. By that time, word of Kristina's 'bitch fit' had circulated like wildfire, and he had received fewer notes this time around. But it had been math class, and he was pretty good at math. One guy sitting next to him had seen him taking notes and been impressed.
Or something like that.
"Hey, you take great notes," he's whispered to 'her.' "Think you could help me study sometime?"
Kurt had rolled his eyes. If that wasn't the oldest trick in the book. "Was? Mien english, es no gutt." Translation problems always put the kibosh on that sort of thing.
Not this time. The guy had just smiled. "I don't think we'd study all that much."
Kristina had kicked him hard in the shin and had been very pleased with the jerk's high pitched yelp. The guy had gotten in trouble for disrupting class and had been given detention. Kurt had been very grateful to get out of there when the bell rang.
But when Jean had led him down towards the auditorium-"I can't believe you'd do this to me!" It was all he could do not to scream at Jean and just quietly hissed it at her. "Couldn't you have just let me skip this and go to the library? I can't sing in English!"
They were both in the Choir room, going through scales of notes to warm up for their practice pieces. Ms. Krane, the music teacher, normally went for a small break so that she wouldn't go deaf before they began their training, so they were mostly on their own. The cacophony easily masked the sound of his normal voice. Jean rolled her eyes and whispered back, "What's the big deal? Just sing in German."
"I can't sing in German either!" he hissed back.
"Watch your voice, 'Kristina,'" She warned. "What do you mean you can't sing in German? You 'are' German."
He glared at her and pointed to his throat. "My voice just changed, remember?"
"Oh, come on. It can't be that bad."
Kurt scowled and made one single loud note.
A glass vase of flowers sitting on the teacher's desk cracked.
Every single girl in the place turned and stared. Kristina turned beet red while Jean tentatively took her hands off her ears. "Jezzus Whizmo, I think I just went deaf," she whimpered.
One of the sopranos came up to Kristina. "Honey, why on earth are you at school today?"
He sulked, but pointed at Jean, remembering to do his girl voice. "She made me come." Uh-oh. That came out like a croak.
The girl just stared at 'her' before saying, "Jean! How could you make someone with strepp throat come to choir practice?!"
"Strepp throat?" he croaked again. 'Dammit, I thought I finally got over this part!'
"What else could it be? You poor girl, in a new country 'and' sick!" Suddenly the fuzzy dude was surrounded by girls clucking over him, making him sit, and bringing him a can of soda from the machine down the hall. Kurt just stared in surprise. He was fairly sure that any other time he would have been teased mercilessly for what just happened. Instead they were all acting like he was their new pampered pet.
He full out grinned and started thanking every girl in the room, and mentioning his sweet cousin Kurt who might join choir sometime. He could get used to this.
"Hey, does anyone know any German?" the same girl, Lanie, called out.
The Delphis twins, two of the hottest girls in all of Bayville High, looked at each other and immediately sang out like Wayne Newton, "Dallll-kuh-shay, darlin', Dallll-kuh-shay----"
Kurt almost cracked a rib laughing. 'Ach, mien Gott. Th-that's terrible!' He desperately tried to correct them before he wet his pants laughing. "Nien, nien-I mean, no! Danke, not 'dallkuh."
Jean was alternating between staring and laughing. 'My god,' she thought to herself. 'He's looks like a female pimp, surrounded by adoring women. This just looks so wrong.' She had to get a picture of this. She rooted through her bag and found the camera. Just as the flash clicked, her brain finally registered what she was seeing and discovered something dangerous.
Jean was used to seeing Kurt as he was, blue and furry, so when she took pictures of him at the mansion when he had the inducer off, that was what she saw through the camera lens. When she took pics for the yearbook and he was there, it had always been a little disturbing to see him as a normal human guy. So when she'd taken this picture, she'd seen nothing wrong with how he'd looked.
Except for one obvious, glaring difference.
Instead of looking like a girl, like 'Kristina', he'd looked like Kurt. The blue fuzzy dude. In the clothes he was really wearing before he switched the program on, and a pair of ridiculous looking Jerusalem Cruisers.
But that was beside the point.
The Kristina hologram program, unlike the male hologram, did not photograph.
.........
...........
This was both very scary and very, very funny.
%%%$$$####
thanks for reviewing me!!! Please review again!
Dark Jaded Rose and Lady LeBeau: thank you both so much for reviewing me.
Abbie Solar Star: I know exactly what you mean, and yes the men's room is so gross!
Thanks to everyone!
RahneMan
Rogue 14
Aqueous
Kage-robot-of-darkness
SperryDee
Glaivestar
Gavin
Tainyeh
Sparkle kiwi
Elrohirthewriter (cool name, dude!)
And red-angel-wings!