A/N: Okay here's the next installment. Told you I'll be posting this up right away

ILLUMI

(POV)

Do you have any idea how much I envy you?

I bet you don't. 'Coz if you do, you wouldn't go around running like a headless, brainless chicken, trying desperately to fit into the rest of the world--the rest of it that doesn't want you. Why are you striving too hard to weld into a life you know would eventually banish you 'coz you are different?

You are evil.

You are a Zoldick.

I doubt you are even aware of the wonder of your fate, of your life and heritage.

I doubt you are even aware of the wonder that is you.

'Coz if you are, you wouldn't go about this stubborn resolve of yours to stay as far away from home as possible. Live among those creeps you call 'friends'.

I have never stopped wondering how long you are gonna be able to keep them as that--'friends'--before you finally decide you're tired of them and eventually label them as 'preys'. Your unknowing, helpless victims.

'Coz when you think about it, it all comes down to that, doesn't it?

You are a wreck, Kil. I only have to look at you to know how much damage that kid had done to you.

Did you really think he could change your fate? Or was this whole friendship-crap just an excuse to study him, watch him grow into a rival worthy of your strength and time?

Was he really your friend or had he been, in his inferiority, a mere stimulant to make you feel good about yourself?

Are you feeling sorry for his death, or sorry because someone had unexpectedly beaten you to it?

It could be one, could be the other. It could even be all of the above, who knows? Nobody's really been able to understand your sly head, Kil. I doubt you even do yourself.

Life was so much easier when you weren't faced with such suffocating dilemmas, wasn't it? If you had listened to me the first time and stayed home, none of this would've happened. No friend… No guilt-trips… No big, fat conscience following you around… Is this what you really want, huh? To feel all these things that a normal kid feels? Live the tormenting life of these creeps? You've been defying your fate, your family, ME, for these? Are they really worth it?

I've spent most of my time training you to be the competent heir to the family's business, though the mere truth of that had always made me question my competence and integrity as the eldest son. I've spent more time on you than I ever did on myself 'coz I thought training the successor was the next best thing to being one.

You owe me your life, Kil. I could've easily killed you then, but I did not. Do you ever wonder why?

Because Aniki values you very much. You are the product of my many years of sacrifice. Of the many lies I've instilled into your callow head. You belong to me.

And I alone have the right to claim you, do you understand that?

You've been away long enough, dear little brother. Everybody misses you already.

I do, immensely.

You don't need to force yourself in this quagmire of torture they call life, anymore. Let us put an end to this suffering.

Aniki's coming to pick you up and take you home.

Back where you belong.

Note: I've always thought of Illumi as a possessive brother. How rather 'anxious' he was to kill Gon before the latter could get to where his brother was because he's got a nagging feeling the kid was gonna steal his little brother away… at least, that's how I see it. It could be that he was just too itching to get somebody killed, or merely scale Gon's skills to find out the reason why Killua's so drawn to him… But of course I chose not to consider these possibilities in writing this POV. The latter sounds probable, but the former is simply dumb.

Truth be told, I admire Illumi. Not as much as I do, Killua, but still… I don't really want him to sound too evil or heartless in this fic. Thus I took much care in writing this POV. Of course there's the thing about Gon, but we all know he's never liked him in the first place, ne. Which is such a shame, since he seems to be the only character who abhors cute little Gon this much.

The next chapter would have to wait. Hope you can bear with me till then! Arigatou gozaimashita!