How to Take Over the World
By Dr. Drakken [Drew Theodore P. Lipsky]
Taking over the world isn't just something you wake up one day and formulate a plan for. It's something that hatches deep down inside you when you're much younger and...smarter-less. It's an evil feeling that grows and grows until one day you can't control the urge any longer and…
Well, okay. That wasn't exactly the way I became an evil mastermind, but I am assuming that's how other villains bent on world conquest come about with the idea of it! That's what it said in 'Taking Over the World for Dummies—Villain's Digest Version', and I'm sure that they are correct!
It all started when I was much younger. It was during gym class and we were playing dodge ball…Kids can be so cruel! They picked me last, and then they laughed at me! 'Drewie, don't run from the ball! Drewie, go fetch me a dodo bird! Drewie, you're going to be a blue mama's boy when you get older!'They tormented me, annoyed me, laughed at me! They called me names in foreign languages! I did turn blue—on the inside. The last thread was cut when my so called friends…my…posse… decided I was not worthy of their friendship. They left me hangin' yo! From then on I vowed I would make them pay! Imagine my surprise when I found out that Dr. Possible was Kim Possible-my arch-rival-s father! [It was an honest mistake, I mean—they can't be the only Possible's in Middleton!]
But, Drewsie is in the past. Evil Blue Scientist is my future! And it can be for you too if you follow these seemingly simple instructions that are bound to confuse you!
The first step of taking over the world is to figure out a plan. Where will you start? Europe is always good; nice scenery. After you figure out where you start, you need to figure out exactly how you're going to take over the world. Believe me—trying to hack into MP3 players does not work—unless of course you want an army of the elderly. They make excellent lemon squares, if I do say so myself. You also have to formulate how you're going to let the unsuspecting world know of your evil plans. I would recommend not using a puppet bearing a resemblance of you—the civilians tend not to take your threat seriously if they think it's an episode of Sesame Street.
After you've written down your mastermind plan, you must find someone to help you along with it. You cannot defeat the world alone! That's why I have Shego—to fight the good guys! I'm the genius behind my plans, and she's the brawns! I wish Kim Possible hadn't found out about the 'Team Work-y' procedure...her and that buffoon always foil our plans! Not for much longer though, for I have thought of the grandest of all plans! I'll share my 'bondiggity' plan to you after I continue my guide!
After you've created your plan, and have your back up backed-up, you must enforce your plan! We're gonna' get this party started bad-school, yo. If you've carefully assessed your plan, and pull it off correctly, Kim Possible and her computer-genius friend will never even know what you're pulling off! The world will become a state of chaotic panic before she's even gotten out of bed! But, if you don't pull it off and Kim Possible and—what's his name? Reginald Stupidble? Ryan Stockable? Well, whatever it is, if you get caught by them-expect to be put behind bars for 100 to 200 years! That is of course, unless you know how to get out. Believe me; I've had my practice in escaping the fuzz!
Now that I've confided the steps on how to become a top super villain, I will now release to you the plans of my wondrous new idea to conquer the world! I will first call in some other nemesis's of Possible's—Monkey Fist, and Duff Killigan! Then, we shall locate the exact position of the Tempus Simia—a headless monkey thing. Then, we shall find the head, and it will send us back in time so we can defeat little Kimmy when she is most vulnerable! I'm having deju vu for some strange reason...Oh well, my plan will work, I'm sure of it! See you on the flip side, dawg!
...........................................................................
Thanks for everybody's reviews! They ment a whole lot! Keep 'em coming! Next week I will post the Ron one. I don't know the order of the rest of them yet...and thanks to the reviewer who pointed out how to spell the Seniors' names. They're rather hard to spell, yeah? Well, anyway—R &R, make my day!