Disclaimer-I own none of these characters. They belong to JK Rowling and the WB, respectively.
Beware: Major HP COS Spoilers! Beware!
***Last Time we were with the Merry Men in Sherwood Forest-oops I meant Harry Potter and co...-***
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HERMIONE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
At this, Hermione fell out of her chair, which would have been okay except there was a certain Malfoy who was already on the floor...
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The Scar
Chapter 8: Character Tradeoffs (And Smirking Galore)
Hermione quickly picked herself up, off of Draco. She breathed.
WHAT THE HELL HERMIONE!! Ron's face was livid. Raising a finger to Malfoy, he hissed, That is Malfoy! What are you, what were you doing?
Hermione looked around, frightenedly, at the few people in the library who were snacking on popcorn and watching them with animated interest. Uh, Ron. It wasn't what you think, it wasn't what it looked like. Maybe we should talk about this somewhere more private.
Draco picked himself up off the ground. So, Ronaldstilkstin, He said, smirking evilly, you've discovered my evil plan.
Ron looked at him blankly.
Draco smirked triumphantly. My evil plot that you have discovered. You know now that I was merely using Hermography-
Hermione quipped.
Malfoy continued as if nothing had happened, smirking darkly. -to get to Harry.
Wait, what? Ron asked, a shocked expression on his face.
I will defeat you Ron, and Harry and I will be together. Malfoy smirked in delight.
Ron's face paled. Hermione looked confused. Malfoy, Ron and Harry aren't gay!
Malfoy's face uh, stayed the same pale color it was, a surprised smirk present on his face. Sick! I don't want to be his lover, I want to be his sidekick!
Hermione's mouth formed a silent as slight color returned to Ron. Thank God. He said without thinking.
Hermione's eyes widen at the exact moment Draco's did at the exact moment Ron covered his mouth. Oh God... Draco gasped.
Oh...my...oh my... Hermione took deep breaths, looking at Ron who became slightly more feminine than he had been before.
Ok, this isn't about me! Said Ron in a high squeaky voice. Come on, we're going to see Dumbledore!
Hermione asked as Ron grabbed her wrist and dragged her out of the library, Malfoy following with a sneaky smirk on his face.
Because you were kissing MALFOY! Ron exclaimed as Draco snickered through his smirk in the shadows. And I know you're following us, Malfoy.
Malfoy's pompous smirk wavered momentarily as he stepped uncertainly into the light. It is I!
Ron raised an eyebrow. Uh, duh! Who do you think I was talking to, the Tooth Fairy?
Suddenly a new voice emerged. Where's the Tooth Fairy? It asked in wonderment.
Ron exclaimed. Harry! You're back! Where were you?
Harry threw his hands up in the air. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS! YOU NEVER ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS! YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO HID THINGS FROM ME! I'VE SAVED YOUR LIVES Draco raised his eyebrows with a questioning mock of his face. SO MANY TIMES-OK, EXCEPT FOR YOU, MALFOY! BUT ONLY CAUSE YOUR DAD'S A DEATH EATER!
Draco shrugged with a disinterested smirk. It's true.
Hermione cried out. No, Draco, no! It can't be! Say it ain't so! Tell me he's wrong!
Draco shrugged again, with the same disinterested smirk. Uh, it's true.
Hermione shrugged too. Oh, ok then.
This time it was Draco who called out to Hermione with a solemn smirk, though she was standing beside Ron not 10 feet away. No, Hermione! My Father, Luscious-
Hermione stared blankly. You mean Lucius?
Draco smirked with confusion. That's what I said: Luscious.
Hermione looked very puzzled. No, Lucius.
Where's Luscious?
Hermione threw her arms up in the air.
I don't see Luscious anywhere!
Luscious Lucius (A/N- HAHAHAHAHA!) stepped out of the shadows. I am here, Draco, play nicely. He looked as if he had not seen a mirror in weeks. His usually lustrous blonde hair was dark colored and mangled.
Draco smirked happily. Father, what are you doing here?
Luscious Lucius smirked back at his son. Draco, play nicely. Son, I've brought you a surprise... He pulled inside his robes and extracted a plastic bottle with very strange honey-colored contents.
Ron raised an eyebrow. What in the bloody hell is that? An evil potion to drug Harry?
Draco smirked, terrified, at Luscious Lucius. Father, not here!
Nonsense, Draco, play nicely. We all know that you need it. Lucius said.
Hermione smirked. Now, Draco. That looks to me to be a whole lot like-
Draco interrupted her, with a horrified smirk on his face. -No! No, it isn't what you think it is! You don't know what it is, because you are a filthy mu- a filthy mud- a filthy m- Draco stuttered, his words not coming.
Lucius looked at Draco, an old, senile expression on his face. Now now Draco, play nicely.
Draco smirked in surprise. Hermione! I can't say mudblood! Hermione made to interrupt and point out that he just did say it, but closed her mouth when he continued. Hermione, do you understand why I can't say mudblood?
Hermione shrugged, again choosing not to mention his obvious fault in the thinking process. 'Cause you're a pathetic loser?
Draco smirked in disbelief. No! Well, yes, but-it's also because I am in love with you!
Hermione rolled her eyes. Stop lying, you pathetic creep. You're only saying that because you don't want me to tell everyone what Lucius is holding for you. She smirked hugely.
Draco smirked in anxiety. Luscious isn't holding anything for me...
Luscious Lucius cut in. Why yes, I am Draco, play nicely. It's time, you know. We don't want to have it looking like it did before second year started in Flourish and Blotts that day when you checked out Hermione.
Draco smirked in shock, and Hermione's eyes widened. Luscious-Father, I did not ever check out Hermione in Flourish and Blotts before second year started when she was saying Fear of the name only increases fear itself.'!
Hermione's mouth was frozen open in horror. Ron spoke suddenly, though. I remember that day. It was right before Luscious-
Hermione interrupted.
Ron continued. Right, it was right before Luscious said to Hermione, Ahh, you must be-' and then paused and then said Ms. Granger? Yes, Draco's told me all about you. Parents are muggles, aren't they?'And then Hermione looked over at her parents who were talking to Dad.
Draco smirked with a sigh. Yes, Ron. We've all seen the second movie-I-I-uh-I mean, we all REMEMBER that from second year...yeah, uh huh...
Luscious Lucius spoke. Yes, that's nice that you are in love with a mudblood, ickle Drakie, but we really must get to what I came here for. He pointed at his special magical watch, which was just like a Rolex, but instead of saying it said and had part of the scratched off.
Hermione screamed. Malfoy is NOT in love with me!
Suddenly, out of the shadows came a very angry voice. I'm going to kill you!!!!
Who are you? What are you talking about? Who are you going to kill? Asked Ickle Drakie with a fearful smirk.
Ron curled up into a small ball and asked quietly in a high-pitched squeak, Can we panic now?
Luscious Lucius grabbed Draco's hand and ran towards the bathroom, with Draco skipping lazily behind, with a content smirk on his face, throwing petals off flowers and saying, She loves me...she loves me not...she loves me...she loves me not...she loves...
And in burst Harry Potter, still in his Thunder-bolt-boy-who-lived-whose-parents-were-murdered-and-is-seeking-vegeance-for-their-deaths Man getup, from the Entrance hall.
Ron uncurled, and Hermione greeted Harry warmly, and Harry asked. Where were Luscious-
Hermione shrieked
Came Luscious Lucius muffled reply.
Harry spoke again. -Luscious and Draco Malfoy going?
Hermione smirked happily. They are going to re-dye his hair.
They exclaimed in unison.
What, you didn't think his hair was naturally that color, did you? You didn't think ANYONE'S hair is naturally that color, did you? They nodded yes'. Oy! I'm surrounded by idiots... She muttered.
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¡!¡Draco really does check Hermione out at that part in the COS movie...watch the scene in Flourish and Blotts, it's actually really funny!¡!
Hope you enjoyed! Much more to come. *evil grin* Oh yes, much more...
***Fashiondiva***