Title: Qui-Gon and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Author: Layren
Rating: G
Summary: 11-year-old apprentice Qui-Gon has a very bad day. Based on the popular children's book Alexander and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Category: Humor
Disclaimer: I make no profit from this story. I only play in the sandboxes George Lucas and Judith Viorst created. Kyran and Devin belong to me. Please ask before using their characters.
I went to sleep and forgot to set my bedside chrono to wake me up, and when I woke up I tripped over my school bag and by accident I dropped my only clean tunic down the laundry chute so I had to wear a dirty one, and when I put on my boots I discovered they were too small…and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At breakfast I wanted a muja fruit, but all I could find was some old tea in a pitcher and a few jiqui fruits. I think I'll move to Alderaan.
On the way to class I forgot my book bag so I had to go back and get it, and by the time I got it and got to class I was late and Master Rajane scolded me for not being on time and promised to let my master know about it. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
During class I had to read my essay aloud and Master Rajane liked Tahl's essay better than mine.
At astronavigation class I messed up the simulator so badly that it had to be reset and reprogrammed. Who needs to fly? It's dangerous anyway. At quantum mathematics I forgot part of my assignment back in the apartment that I share with my master. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
I could tell because Kyran was mad at me for forgetting to meet him for lunch with Devin. I told him that it was an accident. He said next time he would go with Devin without me since I forgot.
I hope you get sent to Hoth, I said to Kyran. I hope when you get a double-layered sweet snow cone the sweet snow part falls off the cone and lands on Hoth.
Kyran had dewback ribs with extra sauce for lunch in the cafeteria and Devin had dewback roast. Tahl had dewback ribs too but with no sauce cause she doesn't like it. Guess who didn't get there in time to get any lunch?
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
That's what it was because I had to go to the Healers for my yearly exam and they poked me with a needle. I hate needles. Come back next week, Chief Healer Han'yaie said, to donate blood. Next week, I said, I'm going to Alderaan.
On the way back to my apartment the lift tube door closed on my foot while I was waiting for Master Dooku to get out of his Council meeting. N'hirik punched me in the face when I tripped over his bag in the hall and when I punched him back Master Dooku came out along with several of the Council members behind him and scolded me for fighting.
I am having a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day, I told everyone. Nobody even answered.
So then I went with Master Dooku to get new boots and there was a mix up in the sizes and color, the Jedi Master in charge said. We don't have your padawan's size in brown right now, said the man. Master Dooku made me take home a pair of bright pink ones instead, but he can't make me wear them.
When we stopped to see Master Koth at his desk before another Council meeting, Master Dooku told me not to play with Yoda's gimmer stick that he had hidden, but I forgot. He also said to be very careful about the stuff on his desk and I was as careful as could be except for my arms. Master Koth said please don't visit him anymore at his office.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Master Dooku told me to do my homework after lecturing me severely about proper behavior in front of the Council and I spilled a glass of tea on my flimsiplast that I was using. I tried to dry it off in the quick cooker but it burst into flame. Master Dooku yelled and hurriedly opened the door and tossed water on it, preventing it from burning down our apartment, then he turned around and scolded me, saying that I should be more careful. He told me to get ready for bed.
My shower was freezing since Master Dooku used all the hot water. My cool mint-fresh toothpaste ran out and I had to borrow Master Dooku's extra-hot cinnamon toothpaste. I hate extra hot toothpaste. My sleep pants have red stains from where they got washed with a red berry that was stuck in my tunic from a mission last week.
It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I whispered as Master Dooku came in to say goodnight. Some days are like that, he says.
Even on Alderaan.
THE END