Chapter 17: Joey vs V: Underdogs
(Life Point Count: Joey 4000, V 4000)
"Go first! I insist!" Joey growled.
"As you wish." V said, as he drew. Hmmmmm. "I'll play a monster card face down, and then I'll play Infinite Cards!" V said, getting one of his key cards into play early. "And that'll be it."
Joey studied his hand, debating whether he should go for the throat, or if V anticipated that he would do that and hang back. In the end his irritation won out.
"Ok, I play Panther Warrior, in attack mode!" Joey said, as the cat humanoid (2000/1600) appeared. "And I'll also play Scapegoat so it can attack. Now go, attack his face down card!" Joey said. The four cute multi-coloured goats appeared and one was absorbed by the Panther Warrior as it lunged forward and destroyed V's face down card…which was the Skull Feline.
"Hey hey, what do you think of that?" Joey said.
"Not bad, but also very stupid." V said. "You see, since you destroyed my face down card on its first turn down, you activated its special summon ability. Normally, I'd have to pay life points to do this, but not this time!" V said, and special summoned the Vileon to the field. The purple mutant cat creature (2100/1300) appeared as Joey's eyes went wide.
"Ah nuts."
"And on top of that, I'll play Queen's Double (350/300)! Now, Vileon, destroy his Panther Warrior!" V ordered. The cat creature ran forward, grabbed the Panther Warrior with its tentacles, and shoved it into its mouth, destroying it. Joey's life points dropped to 3900. "And then I'll use my Queen's Double to add to your pain!" The Queen's Double went around the Scapegoat and attacked Joey directly, taking away another 350 life points, leaving Joey with 3550.
"In your words, what do you think of that?" V said. Joey growled.
"Come on Joey! Don't get frustrated! This duel is just beginning!" Tristan called. Joey had to admit Tristan had a point.
"Heh, he's right! You haven't won yet!" Joey said.
"Friends tend to be. Now I'll lay a card face down and end my turn." V said.
Joey drew. Blast, no monster cards! Good thing I have my Scapegoat. "I'll lay a card face down and end my turn."
"All right then." V said, and drew. "I play Dark King of the Abyss, in attack mode!" The bald robed goblin (1200/800) appeared. "Attack his Scapegoat!" Away went another goat. "Vileon, same thing!" The third one went as well. "Queen's Double, attack his life points!"
Joey got hit again, reducing his power to 3200.
"Hmmmmph. Blasted…" Joey grumbled to himself. He glanced at the crowd. Serenity waved at him, and he felt better. Then he noticed that Mai was paying more attention to V then to him. Jealousy bloomed in his heart.
Not that V was returning her look of admiration. He was standing, looking at Joey, his hand holding his cards relaxed, waiting for Joey to make his next move. Well, at least he wasn't babbling on and on about how great he was. Joey found his opponents tended to do that.
Joey drew, and his eyes lit up as he found he was holding his Flame Swordsman card. He looked at his hand. Ok gods and goddesses of luck, here we go!
"I play Flame Swordsman, in attack mode!" Joey said, as the red-armoured favored card of Joey's (1800/1600) appeared. "And next I'll play Burning Soul Sword!" Joey said, the magic card appearing next to the Flame Swordsman.
"Doesn't Joey need to sacrifice a monster for that to work?" Serenity asked.
"What your sister said, Joey." V said. "And I don't think your final Scapegoat counts."
"Unless he's…" Tea said.
"Keep your pants on! I'm getting to that! And then I play Arduous Risk! Care to gamble V?" Joey said, as he pulled his deck out and looked through it.
"I'm game if you are." V said.
"All right then! Lemme explain!" Joey said as he selected two cards. "I am holding a monster and either a magic or trap card! You have to select one! If it's the trap or magic card, I lose the card and my turn's over, but if you pick the monster card, it automatically gets summoned to the field! So which one is the monster card? Which, which, which?" Joey said, waving his arms up and down as he held the cards' backs to V.
"You might not want to do that, your body language will give you away." V said quietly. Joey jerked and nearly dropped the cards.
"All right then, which one?" Joey said.
"It's easy. All I have to do is use what I've learned about you to deduce which hand you think would be the most valuable to you." V said.
"What?"
"Let me think." V said. "Your left arm is a bit shorter then your right, and you would want to hold the card that would aid you close, so I can clearly not choose the card in your left hand. But then again, you need a monster on the field to ward me off, and hence you might want to keep it closer to me as a sign for your desire, so I can clearly not choose the card in your right hand."
Joey was getting confused. So were his friends.
"But then again, your accent is Brooklyn, and somewhere I read that many people who live in Brooklyn emigrated from Australia, and Australia grew out of a penal colony and a civilization of criminals and a criminal would never let his advantage get close to the enemy, so I can clearly not choose the card in your left hand."
"Man, you really have a brain on you." Joey said.
"Wait until I get started! Where was I?"
"Australia."
"Oh yes. But then again, your left side is known in Latin as your sinister side, a word that has migrated to the English language to mean evil, and so you may want to hold the card the card you need in that hand lest it somehow curse you, so I can clearly not choose the card in your right hand."
"So you've decided then?" Joey said, getting nervous.
"Not yet. You just went on that game show, which shows you are strong, and being strong you may feel secure that you could overcome a bad bit of luck and hence have held the card out so that it would be closer to me then to you, so I can clearly not choose the card in your right hand! But you are also a finalist in two major dueling tournaments which shows you also have some degree of intelligence and in intelligence you know that risk is not always beneficial so you would want to keep the card that will aid you as close to you as possible, so I can clearly not choose the card in your left hand!"
"You're trying to trick me into giving something away. It won't work!" Joey said.
"It already worked! You gave everything away! I know which card is the monster card!"
"Then make your choice!' Joey snapped, his voice filled with fool's courage.
"Certainly, and I choose…what in the world is that?" V said, pointing.
Joey twisted his neck to look, as did all his friends. They saw nothing.
"There's nothing there!" Joey said.
"Yeah, I know. But I had to be complete in stealing that scene from the Princess Bride." V replied.
Silence.
Then everyone except V facevaulted.
"ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT AUSTRALIA AND SINISTER SIDES WAS YOU QUOTING A FLICK!?!" Joey yelled.
"Pretty much. C'mon, I can't tell which card is which from your arm positions."
Joey facevaulted again.
"Can we choose a card, or would you prefer to start quoting Godfather or something? Or maybe Taxi Driver? Space Balls, perhaps?" Joey asked.
"I'll choose. Hmmmmm…left card." V said.
"AW CRAP!" Joey yelled. "ALL THAT DRAMATIC JUNK AND IN THE END…YOU PICK THE MONSTER CARD ANYWAY!" Joey crowed, holding it up. V sweatdropped. Oops.
"All right, thanks to the effect of Arduous Risk, I special summon the Fortress Whale to the field!" Joey whooped. The normal need of the ritual summon negated by the magic card, the gigantic gun-toting mammal (2350/2150) appeared. "He'll make a lovely powerup! Seeya fishy! Power up my Flame Swordsman!"
The Burning Soul Sword appeared in the Flame Swordsman's hand, as the Fortress Whale powered it up to 4150. "Now go! Attack his Vileon!"
The superpowered Flame Swordsman did just that, killing that cat and reducing V's life points to 1950.
"Oh yeah! Whoo hoo! Yippee! Go Joey! It's your birthday!" Joey said, doing a little dance.
"Mammal." V said.
"What?" Joey replied, stopping his dance.
"A whale is a mammal, not a fish. It doesn't have gills."
Joey, setting a personal record, facevaulted for the third time in a minute.
"Whatever! I end my turn!" Joey said.
"All right then." V said, and drew. "Ah."
"Ah? Ah what?" Joey said.
"That powerup is just for one turn, right?"
"Uh….yeah."
"Excellent. I play Hibikime! And then I play Polymerization to fuse the two into the powerful Empress Judge!" V said as two of his monsters vanished and was replaced by a more powerful female creature (2100/1700).
"Sorry, that card can't attack until the following turn!" Joey said.
"I know. Then in that case, I'll use my Dark King of the Abyss to attack your final Scapegoat. Go!" V ordered, and the Dark King killed the last cute goat. "And then I'll lay a card face down and end my turn." V said.
Joey drew. Heh heh heh. Let's see how cocky V is when his Empress Judge goes tumbling down my Trap Hole! "I'll lay a card face down and end my turn. Do your worst."
"Oh, I plan to." V said, as he drew. "First, I'll lay a card face down. Then I'll play Swords Into Plowshares!"
"What's that do?" Joey said.
"It allows me to transfer as many as 1500 attack points into my defense." V said.
"So…how will that help you?"
"Because I'm combining it with this. Reveal Face-down Card: Living Arrow!" V said. Joey, had he been drinking, would have done a classic spit take.
"Oh no! That's Yugi's card!" Tea said.
"I don't need this, but I think you need it even less! All right, go!" V said, as the Living Arrow fused with the Swords Into Plowshares card and struck the Flame Swordsman. "Take all 1500 into his defense!"
"Oh no! His monster's still in attack mode!" Tristan said as the Flame Swordsman's attack dropped to 300.
"It's gonna hurt worse. Finally, I play Offense Wheel!" V said. Mai blinked as a wheel appeared on the field. It looked just like the Protection Circle V had played in her duel with him, except it was red, and she had a feeling she knew the difference.
"This Wheel will hopefully make your pain even more excruciating! GO!" V said, as the wheel began to spin. Just like the Protection Circle, there were four slots that added 400, 800, 1600, or 3200 attack points, and four that took them away.
"Come on! Land on a bad spot!" Serenity said as the arrow slowed down.
"You're not the only one who relies on luck Joey." V said, as the wheel stopped…on +800. "Thank you!"
The Empress Judge's attack went up to 2900.
"Now Joey, you'll really feel some pain! Attack his Flame Swordsman!" V said, as the Empress Judge leapt forward
"Not if my Trap Hole has anything to say about it!" Joey said, smirking as he revealed his Trap.
"It won't, thanks to my Dust Tornado!"
The Dust Tornado swooped in and destroyed the Trap Hole. Joey's eyes widened as he realized he was wide open and heading for some serious pain.
"Now, as I was saying, ATTACK!" V yelled, as the Empress Judge leapt at the Swordsman.
"Joey…!!!" Serenity cried as the Judge swooped in…
To Be Continued