A/N: Whoa! It's been so long since I last updated, I'm terribly sorry and hope to make up for it by posting this 'long' chapter- Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not and shall not ... because I cannot ...
What-If-Vision
Chapter Nine – The tragedy of Another Juliet and HIS Romeo Part III
(On the What-if-Vision)
ACT III SCENE I
Harry: My dear, are you sure this is what you want? I do not want to force you...
Draco: Say this not! You are my four-eyed Prince in shining platinum armour. It is my dream to become Mrs Harry Potter!
Enter Bishopbot27
Bishopbot27: I sensed with my inbuilt 'Love-meter' that you two wish to cement your relationship into everlasting love
Harry: Yes, we wish to get married
Bishopbot27: Searching data for matrimony template ...
Draco: Artificially sweetened Honey, did you bring the ring?
Harry nodded, holding out two gold rings, each with several buttons, a speaker and an LCD screen attached
Bishopbot27: Do you Mr Harry James Potter take this homosapien to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to love and cherish him, to stay along side of him when times are harsh, to earn enough eGalleons to support him with the finest luxuries, to die for him during hostage situations, to love him and him alone for as long as you both shall live during this lifetime and the next?
Harry: Err ... I guess I do.
Bishopbot27: Do you Mr Draco Lucius Malfoy ... INSERT TEXT FROM ABOVE
Draco: I do.
Bishopbot27: Then I pronounce you man and man, may your hormonic feelings, also known as love last forever. Oh and send me an email when you want to get divorced, I also have a downloaded version of Marriage Termination Version II.
Exit Bishopbot27
Harry: Mrs Potter, do you wish to embark on the next stage of our marriage by taking an Instant-Honeymoon?
Draco: Yes I do wish so, let's go to Afghanistan, I heard they have some great terrorist museums!
Harry presses a button on his wedding ring and shouts "Afghanistan" before disappearing with a puff. Draco follows suit
Narrator: And so our young star-crossed lovers ended their bachelor lives. But their precious time together would not last long. Mr and Mrs Potter's Instant-Honeymoon is scheduled to finish in Five . . . Four . . .Three . . .Two . . .
Another puff brings the couple back on to stage again, Harry is wearing a bright pink turban and Draco appears to be carrying a stuffed Bin Laden to
Draco: Harry, that was the best ten seconds of my life, Afghanistan was a bomb (A/N: bomb, Afghanistan, get it? ()
Harry: It was wonderful, but it will not stay like this for long. I am sure that Slytherins would not let us be together. Then you would have to fake your death and I will have to kill my self by mistake and you, end your life as well... such tragedy!
Draco: Sugarlumps, have you been looking at the Future Forecast on BBC again?
ACT III SCENE II
In the dark and slimy Slytherin dungeons
Draco: Father, what do you mean I have to marry Gregory Goyle or else I would be tickled senseless by an automatic feather tickler?
Lucius: Son, Gregory Goyle is a fine Homo sapiens specimen of man, if I was not married to your mother I would gladly woo him myself. I mean, have you actually seen him in the shower?
Draco: You disgust me father, I'm just glad Grandpa was heterosexual, because I think I possess his genes instead of yours
Lucius: You can never be so sure Draco. I remember Grandpa Malfoy telling me about how he spent his early adulthood fantasizing about his Transfiguration Professor. Abercrombie Dumbledore, father of that muggle loving headmaster of yours. I shall leave you now, I expect you to be ready to meet Gregory's parents tomorrow morning.
Lucius leaves with a swish of his lace covered shocking pink robes. Draco slumps against the wall
Draco: What should I do? I cannot withstand marrying Goyle! I rather commit digitalised suicide...
In pops Bishopbot27
Bishopbot27: Did I hear you say suicide? You know, I can offer you a wide range of services involving terminating your life. For a mere 30 eGalleons you can enjoy the VIP death treatment ...
Draco: But I thought you were a bishop?
Bishopbot27: Yes I am, but I also specialise in reincarnations, deaths and suicides, toilet cleaning and sushi rolling.
Draco: You don't do the last two services together, do you?
Bishopbot27: I do anything that pleases my customer. Did you request for a suicide?
Draco: Is there any product you can suggest that would solve my problems yet allow me to keep breathing in oxygen?
Bishopbot27: I would suggest the Sleeping Beauty Therapy. It keeps you in a guaranteed non-decaying dead form until either a kiss from your true love is performed or the activating password is stuffed down your throat.
Draco: Excellent, I shall take it.
Bishopbot27 hands Draco a glass vial containing a turquoise coloured liquid. Draco swallows it down in one gulp
Bishopbot27: Good luck dying Mrs Potter.
Bishopbot27 disappears with another Pop. Draco slowly walks back towards the Slytherin Common Room
ACT III SCENE III
In the Corridors of Hogwarts, School of Technological Witchcraft and Wizardry
Colin Creevy: Extra. Extra, Read all about it! Slytherin commits suicide after engagement! Grab your copy of 'Hogwarts Hogwash' now! Oh hi Harry, here take one.
Harry scans the headlines of the electronically powered newspaper, then looks at the moving picture of Draco accompanying it. He lets out a wolf howl. People are staring at him
Harry: My one true love had buried her problems by escaping humanity! If I cannot be with her in this lifetime, I shall follow her to the next. Declares dramatically I shall kill myself!
More people staring at Harry, the word 'psychopath' is heard twice
Harry: I need to find Snape. He is the only one who can help me now!
A/N: Do you think this story would end like Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet? Stay tuned for the final instalment of The Tragedy of another Juliet and HIS Romeo! And please, be a good reader and review!