Disclaimer – I don't own FFVIII or the characters in the game, Squaresoft does. I have no money and anything I own is not worth having. This story is fiction.

Warning – Male x Male thoughts, a miniscule of sap

Rating – R, it will heat up later on

This will be yaoi folks but for now it is shounen-ai, boys liking boys

Dedication – To Shaeric Draconis, I luv you very much!

Fantasy 101 and Crimson thank you for your support. Here is Squall's 2nd Entry. Zell will be next.

^__~  ^__^

Squall Leonhart Journal

[Tuesday 26th May XXXX Balamb Garden 0530 hours]

[Journal entry # 2]

I am sitting beside a sleeping Zell and I couldn't be happier. I am a little concerned for my friend because he was very quiet when we loaded our gear on to the Ragnarok, even Selphie noticed. In fact she kept needling him until I told her that she could pilot the Ragnarok. She was gone before I even finished the sentence.

Zell smiled at me.

My heart did a triple flip, and when it landed again it was lighter and beating faster than before. I knew that this would happen if I got too close to him, but I can't keep away. I was only lucky that I heard him thank me for getting rid of the 'tornado pest' as he calls her now.

He seemed as if he was thinking about something and he looked a little sad.

His head is now leaning on my shoulder, his golden hair surrounding his golden face. He is simply beautiful.

My nose twitches at his familiar scent.

Did you know he has a distinctive scent, a musky scent that I have come to know as Zell's personal aroma? It is a mixture of strawberries, I love strawberries, I can never get enough of them, yes I have a fetish for them, sunshine, have you ever smelled sunshine? It fills you with warmth when you breathe in, it is hard to describe but there all the same. He also has a musky scent; this is the aroma that elicits sensual thoughts and heats my body up so fast that I am not aware of it until a certain part of my anatomy starts making itself known.

Only today there is another scent I can smell, one that I have smelled on him before. I don't like it! This scent is also familiar and if I find out that someone else is touching him, I will kill them. Zell is mine and mine alone. I may have trouble admitting that I like the fiery blond and another male but that didn't mean that I hadn't made some kind of claim on him….I have. He is mine…..he just didn't know it yet.

I just have trouble admitting it.

But the other scent, I know I have been around it before, I can't think where but I will find out…..even if it kills me. I know it is not Seifer.

I have what you could call a sensitive nose. I know the scent of all the gang, even Seifer, and that is why I don't need to see who is coming. Their scent precedes them.

Rinoa had a distinctive aroma, it was one of sunshine like Zell but hers was more floral. It was the spring scent of honey, lilies and pine. I used to like it until it became cloying and overwhelmed me so much that I began to feel suffocated.

It was then I realised that I wasn't in love with her and I tried to change myself but the shadow in my heart wouldn't let me and I thank Hyne that it was there. So I did what normally happens when you find you don't love someone….I broke up with her.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done. People say I show no emotions but it doesn't mean I don't feel them.

I do.

Its just I have trained myself not to let them show. It was hard training but in a crisis it comes in hand—

Fuck! What was that…….?

Shit I have to go, I don't know if it is turbulence or Selphie being her usual self. I will return later on today.

[Squall Leonhart signing out 0545 hours]

[Squall Leonhart signing back in at 0700 hours]

We arrived at Esthar at 0600 hours; Kiro's and Ward were there to greet us with apologies from my father.

I didn't like it. If there was one thing I learned about my father was that he would always be there to greet me because of the guilt he still carries for abandoning me.

When we finally arrived here at the Presidential Palace Kiro's filled us in, knowing what little patience I had.

I have to tell you journal this mission is close to home and close to my heart. There are not many who I hold dear, in fact I can count how many on one hand.

Ellone. She is missing and from what Kiro's has said, Laguna is beside himself, the past haunting him once again.

I understand now why he would not let this information out. As soon as we have organised ourselves we are going in search of my father and then we will take it from there.

I fear what we will find once we begin searching for big sister.

As soon as Zell has finished his shower we are going. And no it was me that made Zell have a shower, he wanted to rush off to find my father but I insisted and you know why.

I couldn't tolerate that scent on him any longer so I told him to go shower. Zell looked at me a little surprised but shrugged before going to the washroom. That scent has now been filed away for me to work on later, for now something more important takes priority.

My big sister and my father.

Oh before I forget. This is an official log for the mission log when I have time to get to it. The turbulence we experienced on the Ragnarok was in fact something hitting us. Selphie swears she saw something then it disappeared, what she couldn't get over was the size of the thing.

I am a little worried especially now that Ellone has gone missing. I will tell Kiro's to contact Quistis and fill her in with the details. I hope that team two are alright.

I will sign off now, Zell has finished his shower and he looks as impatient as I feel. We are both worried and I can hear the tornado pest heading towards our room.

Hopefully I will log in tomorrow. Bye.

[Squall Leonhart signing out at 0730 hours]