Disclaimer – I don't own FFVIII or the characters in the game, Squaresoft does. I have no money and anything I own is not worth having. This story is fiction.

Warning – Angst, male + male thoughts, swearing (surprised?)

Rating – R, it will heat up later on

This will be yaoi folks but for now it is shounen-ai, boys liking boys

Dedication – To Shaeric Draconis, I luv you very much!

Authors Note – Sun God, I will do Rinoa next just for you. Sorry for the delay, working late nights.

Fantasy 101, Crimson, Sun God, Maraea Darkwell, thank you for your reviews.

^__~  ^__^

Irvine Kinneas Journal

[Tuesday 26th May XXXX Centra – Matron's Orphanage 0400 hours]

[Journal entry # 2]

Hey there pardner, well I am absolutely fucked, yeah, yeah I'm swearing, only because I hav ta keep control of my hormones and also because we hav been up since we arrived here and it is now going on four in the morning.

Matron and Headmaster Cid had a nice hot drink ready, something ta keep us awake while she filled us in on what was happening.

She says she hasn't seen anything herself but she feels things. Said something about a new age, I'm not sure what the hell it means, only because I'm so damn tired, haven't been sleeping well, as you know.

Matron could see we were all tired in the end, that included lil princess and the blond God, yeah, yeah give me a break. You weren't in the room when he was peeling those tight grey pants he is renowned for, to reveal a body that would make Apollo jealous. God! Here I go again…but his ass is so perfect…

Sorry, sorry, I'm trying ta concentrate on the mission and what lil information Matron gave us. We will be travelling to the Centra ruins in the afternoon; Matron said we will rest first. I agree, no use going in if we are so tired that we won't be able ta lift our arms ta aim our weapons.

She mentioned something about a new breed of dragons and a dark presence. Yeah, I shuddered too, we hav just finished dealing with Ultimecia and this happens.

When it rains, it fucking pours!

God there he goes again, does he have any idea what he does ta me. He is now walking around with a very lil towel wrapped around those perfect muscled toned hips…..God! My fucking cock just twitched, shit goddam Mary Sue ta hell!

I am not gay! I luv my women! I am just extra horny because I hav been too busy ta sink by cock in ta the silky wetness of a female. If I keep repeating it, I might start believing it. But I think ya know don't ya diary.

He has such strength and he doesn't give a shit what others think, as long as he does what he wants ta do. We don't really talk much; he just keeps to himself when he is away from his posse. His friends.

I bet ya if Zell was here they would be sparring and calling each other names. Sometimes I wish I was like the fiery petite blond.

Sharing a room with him doesn't help me or Selphie one bit, it just gets harder, not just my cock, but my emotions as well. I didn't ask ta feel this way about him and I really wished I didn't.

I can't hurt her, ya see, she doesn't deserve that and besides I'm too young ta die. Seifer will kill me, no doubt about that, no siree! I like breathing and living thank you!

Shit! Shit! He is looking at me and asking me something. I hav ta answer.

*chuckles* He just said ta me, "you too?" Yeah the journal thing and he has now put some blue boxers on, his chest bare *drools* Shit goddam Mary Sue ta hell! If he keeps this up I will hav ta hav another shower.

He has broad shoulders; his torso tapering down to a trim waist, no ounce of fat on that muscle well toned body, his golden skin gleaming from the lamp by his bed, his soft golden hair still wet from his shower.

He has a smirk on his face and goddam I wish I was a fly on the wall behind him, makes me wonder what he is writing about.

Probably about the lil princess, yes they had a lil spat before we arrived. Rin started it and I hav no idea what it was about. Good ol Seifer handled it well; he completely ignored her, which sent her into a tizzy, man she has ta lighten up. What we don't need on this mission is a very upset team-mate.

She calmed down when I told her to let it go…..what it was, I hav no idea.

She is bitter and it is eating away at her slowly, I just hope something helps her soon, I don't like ta see one of my friends hurting as she is. That is another reason why I can't hurt Sefie, she don't deserve that, she deserves the best. I just wish that I hadn't started noticing someone else but it happened so slowly that I wasn't aware of it until it was too late.

And it is too late for me. I hav to be honest pardner, I am attracted to the blond god across from me, and there is nothing I can do ta change it. But I will never act upon it because there is an innocent involved, and I wouldn't hurt her for all the world.

He is looking at me with a perfect eyebrow raised. 'Lights out' is what he is saying and quite frankly journal, I may hav a stiff cock that is pushing against my boxers, but I am way too tired ta stroke it, to its creamy completion, and my eyes I starting ta get heavy.

I will sign off now, and ya want ta know something? He said goodnight ta me.

That warms me inside. I will leave ya now pardner….until tomorrow.

 [Irvine Kinneas signing out at 0420 hours]