Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the official characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be! I *DO*, however, own Marcibay Hilligans and Hei-ying Reed!! I also own Lord Maduokai, and the three of the dragons, T'listia isn't mine but on loan from one of my favourite reviewers and writers, Tam Chronin! And what the heck . . . I own both of the mansions (The Reed/Hiirawagizawa and the Tsukimine) as well! [Laughs] Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make! And I don't pretend to be able to write any sort of accents so please don't hate me!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
Extended~ [basically odd letters that the characters extend the sound of or in Ruby's case, sings]
In This Tainted Soul . . . Find Redemption . . .
By Dr Megalomania
Chapter Twelve: Lament
Silence reigned heavily.
The rain was heavier still and growing heavier.
Uncaring of the water, Eriol knelt on both knees in the puddle. His garments were getting heavier as they absorbed the rain; beside him his hat lay upturned and gathering water, and his staff lay in the deepening puddle uncared for and dull. He took deep shuddering breaths, breathing out into the cold wet air with huffing gasps of clouds of white. He stared with wide lavender grey eyes, seeming his apparent age, seeming young in his complete and utter shock.
Sakura staggered over, her dulled key hanging from the dull gold chain laced in her rose red gloves. Her honey locks became plastered to her skull as she walked in uneven steps, swaying from side to side. She stared down at her fallen guardians and her exhausted cards with emerald eyes that brimmed with the rain or with her own tears. She was becoming pale and her bottom lip trembled with her shock. Keroberos lay on the ground, his eyes stunned half open and like his fur, like the helmet he wore, his golden eyes were muted. Yue's sharp amethyst eyes suffered this fate too and it wrenched at her heart painfully to see them like this.
Behind her, Syaoran knelt on the ground, both of his gloved hands resting on top of his sword and his forehead pressed against the hilt hard. He stared at the worn grip with unseeing chocolate brown eyes, his mind spiralling with a million and one thoughts, too much for even him. He could barely understand what had just happened, what was going on or even begin to comprehend what he was to do about it. He wasn't aware of how much he was trembling, nor of how cold he was growing. He glanced up at Sakura and then passed her to the horizon where Maduokai had disappeared with his cousin.
Brushing passed him on weakened legs, Tomoyo moved as a wraith between the slumbering guardians, her mind focusing on one objective: To rid Sakura of that dreadful, haunted look that marred her beautiful sweet face. Her video camera lay forgotten under the umbrella, on the bags as the Mistress of the Hiirawagizawa guardians stumbled toward her best friend. Tomoyo pulled her cloak off despite the heavy rain and wrapped it warmly around Sakura's shoulders. She held the other woman, rested her cheek on Sakura's shoulder and closed her eyes.
"To-Tomoyo-chan . . ." Sakura whispered, "what . . . what just happened?"
Tomoyo did not answer and Sakura gasped as the other simply closed her eyes and began to slide to the ground. Sakura spun, coming out of her daze and caught Tomoyo, sinking to the ground with her best friend and now looked around truly.
Her brother knelt by Yue, cradling his lover's upper body in his arms protectively. Yue's eyes, like all the others were opened, half lidded and unseeing. It was disturbing to see them as if they lay dead or dying. Touya caught her eye after a long moment and tilted his head, asking of her a silent question.
Sakura smiled weakly for him, she didn't want him to worry too much about her, not with Yue so weakened. She glanced at Spinel and Ruby who'd fallen atop of one another.
The midnight blue panther was sprawled on his front, his hind legs sticking out in an unsightly manner and Ruby was laid over him like a fallen ballet dancer in a final tragic scene. Neither looked too harmed or damaged, just very, very exhausted. Sakura swallowed and finally allowed herself to stare directly at the source of her disabling shock.
Clow Reed and Hei-ying lay entwined together, the magician – like Hei-ying when he had been reincarnated – looked young, as if he was . . . Sakura frowned, Clow had never seemed completely real to her . . . he looked real now, smaller . . . somehow, actually seeing him here made Sakura feel a little more confident and she shook off the fear and shock.
She took off Tomoyo's cloak and wrapped it around her best friend's shoulder once more. She glanced over her shoulder, "Syaoran-kun?" She asked, her fiancé stared into space, his eyes cloudy with thought. "Syaoran?" She asked of him louder this time.
It startled him and he met her eye at last.
He looked . . . confused, more so than she had ever seen him before.
"We need to get out of the rain . . ." Sakura said clearly, the rain was now pouring down so hard it began to sting bare skin and bounce off the floor. It looked to get heavier soon and the clouds above their heads rumbled darkly. Night was setting in and soon it would get very cold.
"We need to get out of the rain now." She said again, making her voice louder. Syaoran stared at her for but a moment longer before he stirred and some of his fierce protectiveness came back. "You . . ."
"Never mind me!" Sakura threw her hand out toward Eriol, "Get him up! We need to get the guardians up; we need to get them out of the rain!"
At the sound of her voice, Touya glanced at Hei-ying then at Yue. Of one he was master and the other was master of his heart. He chose to pick up Yue first and took him over to the cover of the giant cherry tree. It was sort of dry under there; certainly the rain did not fall there as hard as it did elsewhere. He glanced at the softly glowing tree and pressed a hand against it.
"Please . . ." he asked quietly, "Please take care of him, revitalise him a little . . ."
The tree glowed benevolently and Touya stroked his hand down Yue's cheek quickly before he stood and ran back into the rain. He sprinted across the puddles, splashing through their growing depths. He got to his sister's side and stooped over to pick up Tomoyo. Sakura smiled at him wanly, her face still pale as she tucked one more stray lock of hair back from Tomoyo's face.
As Touya ran over to the tree with Tomoyo, Syaoran got to Eriol's side and laid his hand on his shoulder. "Eriol . . ." The boy was ashen, his eyes were wide as he stared at what must have felt like his own body.
Clow Reed, unlike the guardians, was not stunned with his eyes open. He lay slumbering on his front, his glasses attached to a thin black string lying a little way from him, gathering tiny lakes of water on their curved surfaces.
"Clow . . ." Eriol whispered and closed his eyes, hanging his head. His own glasses slipped off and only by Syaoran's lightning quick reflexes were they saved from being smashed on the hard ground. "It's really him . . . I . . ." Eriol shook his head, "What on earth is that mad man up to . . . what did he want with . . ." Eriol's head snapped up as something occurred to him and he looked at Syaoran, "Hei-ying and Clow . . . we have two . . . where is . . ." he looked around, thoughtfully, his wits beginning to return to him. Syaoran quickly caught his meaning and stared to look around for the so-called manservant, Sen.
A little way off, the old man lay.
Eriol struggled to get to his feet, pausing only to check on his guardians. Touya returned a third time and hefted Ruby into his arms. He glanced at Syaoran; "help me carry the cats later." He paused to look at Hei-ying and frowned. "Then we'll get those two."
Syaoran nodded sharply and turned to look at Eriol as the other jogged across to where Sen was lying.
Eriol stooped and put a hand on the old man's shoulder, the mask lay beside him, shattered.
Pausing hesitantly, not entirely sure he wanted to know; Eriol shook the man once and was rewarded with a low groan that confirmed that the man was not dead. Drawing a bracing breath, he then rolled the old man over and cleared away some of the raggedy, tangled grey hair. Bleeding from where the mask had been forced upon him, the unmistakably kind features of Marcibay Hilligans were slackened. It hurt Eriol, deeply, forcing tears to his eyes to see this kind man so injured. He bit his lip as his eyes prickled and stung him as he tried not to cry powerlessly.
Marcibay's breathing was shallow and the bloodied foam that frothed at the corner of the elderly man's mouth had nothing to do with any spell that had been put upon him. Eriol felt for a pulse and found it to be weakened and erratic. He groaned quietly as he sank to sit by the man, glancing over at his former self and his friends helplessly.
Touya caught his look and began to run over.
The young man was a good doctor; there was no denying it . . . but he could never be so good as to ward off Death when it came to a man as old as Hilligans.
"This rain is unnatural."
Sakura glanced up at Syaoran's profile as they all sat – or lay in most cases – under the cherry tree. They were as warm as they could make themselves; the cards were not yet ready to awaken, although they had regained their colour now. They huddled under Sakura's cloak as she sat, leaning against Syaoran. She'd been dozing in and out for the last hour. Eriol sat with his wife lying on his lap, his hand threaded in her hair. He sat against Spinel and with Ruby curled around his feet, lying her head on his chins. Keroberos snored quietly from his place, curled around Sakura with his heavy, warm head resting in her lap.
His long tail trailed away and wrapped tightly around Yue's wrist.
Touya had both of Clow's angels sat either side of him, Hei-ying was leant against his shoulder and Yue was slightly closer, his face half pressed against Touya's chest. Touya wrapped one arm around Yue's shoulder, while he held Hei-ying's right hand. Hei-ying's left hand clutched at him, as if the dark angel was trapped within a nightmare. Indeed, every so often a shadow would pass over the dark angel's features and he would moan quietly.
At least they had all closed their eyes now and looked like they were merely sleeping and not dead as they appeared so soon after the . . . Sakura frowned, what could she call it? It was not an attack, and yet it was malicious. She shook her head and glanced over at the latest members of their gathered group. Just between Syaoran and Eriol, Clow Reed and Marcibay Hilligans lay, propped against the cherry tree.
It reminded her of a vision she'd once had, where she'd awoken in Clow's garden and found him and the guardians napping under the tree.
She licked her lips nervously, and dipped her head back down again, taking comfort from the warmth that Syaoran provided with his very presence. She barely heard Eriol's answer as he replied to Syaoran.
A little while later, she felt a movement under her hand and heard a low growl. Sakura's emerald eyes fluttered open and she looked down at her sun guardian. Keroberos opened his eyes weakly and looked around as if he was seasick. "How do you feel?" She asked quietly as Syaoran had dropped off to sleep.
"Not good . . . but well enough to get out of here . . ." he looked around, "How long?"
"Two hours . . ." answered Touya softly, he shifted and glanced at Hei-ying. The dark angel's eyes had come open a while ago but he could have been sure if the angel was aware of anything or not. Hei-ying blinked once, again and then a third time before he looked at Touya with any sort of recognition. "Where . . ." he whispered hoarsely and frowned deeply, "the spell . . . it was wrong . . . I . . ."
"Hush . . ." Touya moved his shoulder a little; it was sore and cramped from not moving much. He glanced at Yue briefly; the younger angel still slept deeply, and then turned his attention back on Hei-ying. "Can you fly?"
"I'm not sure I could walk . . ." Hei-ying muttered as he sat up straighter. He frowned for a moment before rocking forward onto his knees. He hissed quietly as he pressed on a bruise and then forced himself up. He laid a hand on the tree trunk to steady himself before he nodded, "I'm all right . . ." he nodded to Touya, "we should leave this place and retreat . . ."
Spinel shifted slightly and groaned. He opened his eyes and looked straight ahead. A hand lay just in front of his nose, and its owner wore a strange but familiar smell. He frowned and looked up; the delicate and pale features of Clow Reed surprised him and reminded him.
"I thought it wasn't real . . ." he muttered to himself as he felt the heavy weight leaning against his body move and turn. Eriol lifted a hand and patted Spinel heavily on the head, "How are you feeling, old friend?"
"I'm feeling old . . ." Spinel huffed as he struggled to stand, "Ruby?"
A low groan from her reassured him as his sister struggled to get up of her own right. Hei-ying paced over, his gait slow as he moved. He was careful not to step on anyone or anything. He paused though, to glance down at the slumbering bodies of Clow and Hilligans. Again the shadow passed over his eyes and be it cold or fear, a shudder wracked his shoulders. He shook his head quietly and continued his way over to help Ruby get up.
A yawn caught Touya's attention and he looked down.
A pale hand trembled as it rose and rubbed against Yue's reddened eyes. The white angel pushed away from Touya weakly and tried to sit up. "Easy . . ." Touya murmured reassuringly. "You've had quite a shock to your system . . ."
"Sakura . . ." Yue shook his head as he tried to speak, though his voice felt like it was coming though three layers of sand paper. He swallowed hard, even though that hurt. "Is she . . . Sakura?"
"It's okay, Yue . . ." Sakura called over to him quietly, her emerald eyes filled with concern for him and for his brother. "I'm okay, take care of yourself . . ."
Yue winced at this and raised his pounding head to look at Touya. The sound of heavy rain began to filter back into his senses, "To-ya . . ."
"You're fine . . . and so is Keroberos . . ."
"Hei-ying?"
"I am fine as well." Hei-ying called over from where he was helping Ruby Moon to stand. "However I think it's time you got up, Yue . . . our masters cannot stand out in the rain and wait for us to gather our wits any longer . . ."
Yue frowned and pressed his forehead against Touya's chest, hoping to ease the pain. Taking a deep breath, he pushed away from Touya and began to force himself onto his feet.
Soon, slowly, but surely, all the guardians were on their feet and helping their masters up. Tomoyo, Hilligans and Clow Reed were still fast asleep though, and Tomoyo seemed to be becoming feverish. Eriol put his hand on her forehead and frowned, he directed some cool magic to his hand and glanced up. "Sakura . . ."
"I know, we'll have to use the Float card for now . . ." she glanced at the cards, "or maybe it would be a better idea to use Windy . . . it might get them back sooner."
"Use the Windy and the Float . . ." Keroberos said, "then we guardians will fly with them and make sure that they get there safely."
He glanced at Hei-ying, waiting for maybe a disdaining look or a disagreement but found none.
Sakura nodded, "good idea . . ." she called out her staff and threw up the windy and the float, "Windy, help the Float card carry our friends back to our homes! Release!!"
The large door creaked open, but he did not stir from his watch post.
Smooth hands touched his shoulder and his cheek while soft lips ghosted over his rough cheek. "How are you feeling?" He asked, tearing his eyes from the sight before him for a good moment.
"I'm fine . . ." Tomoyo reassured her husband; she stared at Clow and moved to sit on his bed. "And you?"
". . . shocked. Surprised . . ." Eriol admitted, he pulled his glasses from his eyes and rubbed his hand against them tiredly. "And afraid, mortally afraid. This is Clow reed . . ." he motioned the slumbering magician before him, "In the room next door, Hei-ying, Clow reed's worst mistake ever, the room downstairs next to ours, Marcibay Hilligans . . . what the hell did Maduokai want with them? Li Meilin?" He looked at her searching, though he knew she held no answers merely warm comfort and sighed heavily. "I don't understand it . . ." he spoke with a rueful tone, "there was a time when I thought I knew everything . . . my love," he reached out and held her offered hand, "I'm afraid I know nothing. The future is too dark for me."
There was a quiet moan from the bed, and Clow shifted in his sleep.
Tomoyo squeezed Eriol's hand as his eyes went back to stare at the slumbering man beside them. She watched her husband's eyes, as his thoughts rolled and crashed into one another unchecked. He was trying to think of why Maduokai would resurrect these people, what gains he could gather from them. Tomoyo could do nothing for her husband but sit with him and listen to his ideas. Her thoughts went to the other people in the house. Eriol's shock was one of many a reaction. Downstairs, in one of the rooms Syaoran had taken to as a training room, the young Li Clan head practiced endlessly. It was his form of meditation; he practiced long and hard, refusing food and company with the same stony silence. Sakura didn't like it, but she respected it. It was Syaoran's reaction after all, to withdraw until he could make sense. Sakura was trying to hold things together for herself in the meantime. She checked over her cards and her guardians with the worry of a mother, she was a good mistress and soon, card and guard alike were already showing signs of regaining their full strengths.
It had been three days since the incident with Maduokai.
Touya looked in on Yue mostly, but studied long into the night with Hei-ying as they searched for a possible reason.
Yet study was not all that they were doing . . .
Touya glanced over from the desk.
Hei-ying was standing by the window, his brow furrowed deep in thought, his thin lips pressed into a single hard line.
"Are you frightened of him?" Touya asked, returning to his book. He was careful to keep his tone from mockery and from pity. True, he was afraid for Hei-ying. They had no idea how the guardian would behave now. His personality had been growing stronger, but the arrival of Clow had made Hei-ying withdraw. Jade eyes seemed cold where they had been beginning to show warmth, hands that were nimble and quick, admired for their finesse, now seemed to clutch and scratch. Hei-ying's hands seemed to turn into claws, ready to strike. He stared out of the window long and hard for hours at a stretch, hideous thoughts appearing and disappearing.
Touya didn't like it, didn't like the silence that now descended from Hei-ying. The guardian looked mean now, cold and his master suspected that few others had really noticed. Keroberos had, he narrowed his eyes during meals when Hei-ying made a cold comment or ignored a question, his lips curled angrily when Hei-ying waved off concern with a miserable excuse and a cold smile.
That was what disturbed Touya more, the cold smiles.
They never reached Hei-ying's eyes anymore; even Yue was beginning to do double takes. Yue, who was more than a little blind when it came to his family, would glance at Hei-ying and frown after he left. Later, Yukito would raise the subject. The snow rabbit was more suspicious of Hei-ying, worried for him. Like Yue, he had no memories of Hei-ying as he was before the attack that separated Yue and Yukito from each other.
Now, the dark angel was retreating into his own mind and Touya suspected that Hei-ying was venturing into a dark abyss with no light to guide him.
"I fear no mortal man."
Touya blinked out of his thoughts, Hei-ying had replied to his question ten minutes after it had been posed. The dark angel folded his arms across his chest and a shadow fell over his eyes as if he was locked in a memory.
"I've killed magicians before, they've bled as red as any little human . . ." Hei-ying whispered, truly not aware of what he was speaking aloud. Touya stood from his seat and carefully began to walk toward Hei-ying not willing to startle him while his thoughts were held so darkly. Hei-ying's shoulders began to tremble slightly as if he was suppressing a deep rage. His face began to turn into a horrible expression; so horrible Touya couldn't find any real words to explain it. Only that it made Touya feel cold even to look upon it in the reflection of the window. Hei-ying's eyes were focus, very focused. It made Touya understand what Keroberos had meant by Hei-ying's sharp mind, he could almost imagining how fast Hei-ying's mind was working. Far too fast for any being, even if they had been created to think that rapidly. Everyone needed time to examine a thought, Hei-ying had never been giving the luxury of thinking in long winding circles, never to get lost in his own mind and think about something of little consequence.
Now, as Touya moved not too quietly behind him, the master could see his guardian . . . perhaps, he imagined, as Hei-ying had been as a young creation when his madness first came to be. The young master shook his head as he slowly reached out and touched Hei-ying's shoulder to break him out of his dark thoughts.
The dark angel jerked and spun, and for a moment, Touya saw a spark of insane rage, the sheen of furious yet lost tears on Hei-ying's widened jade eyes. The angel's arms were held out, his hands held tightly, painfully, like claws as if he was going to scratch and stab at Touya with his fingernails.
And then it passed.
Hei-ying's shoulders relaxed, his mouth fell open slightly and his hands flexed. The pent up rage in his eyes stepped back, not gone, but stepped back into the shadows and the guardian that Touya recognised returned. Then Hei-ying seemed to grow very weary, he stepped back, shuffling almost and looked away from Touya. He swallowed and shook his head, muttered something very quietly to himself and glanced out the window. Touya stepped forward and glanced out, the day was cool, not too warm and slightly clouded over. A storm was coming, a rainstorm by the feel of it and it felt like it was going to be a very long one.
"Feel like taking a walk?" He asked quietly, "We can walk and talk about it . . ." he nodded, as Hei-ying looked up and out the window, "there's a storm coming, it might be our last chance for the next few days . . ."
"No . . ." Hei-ying dipped his head again and sank into the window seat. He leaned his forehead against the glass and stared out with sorrow filled jade eyes. "No walks . . . he always made it worse with his walks . . ." he trailed off into an almost silent mutter, and Touya only caught something about Clow asking for Hei-ying's forgiveness. He glanced at the desk, it was nearly heaving with books and research and certainly Maduokai's actions required their attention but he was Hei-ying's master now and his creation needed him.
"Fine then, no walks. Start talking." Touya nodded and sat down beside Hei-ying on the window seat. The guardian's head snapped up and stared at him with wide jade eyes, his mouth working but no words coming out. Finally Hei-ying swallowed and closed his mouth, when he opened it again, his wits had been gathered and the old cool returned. "I'm sorry, master . . . here I am lost in daydreams when we should be working." He stood and made as if he was going to the desk, but Touya was the quicker and grabbed him by the wrist.
The dark angel became stock-still and Touya thought that his hand was too cold.
Hei-ying's head dropped forward, his black shiny hair hiding his eyes from view as he hissed quietly, darkly, "Do you bleed red as well . . .?"
Touya's dark blue eyes widened.
". . . let me go . . ."
Hei-ying's voice was icy, cold . . . deadly. Touya squeezed his wrist slightly, willing some of his magic to Hei-ying, to rouse him from this waking nightmare. At this, Hei-ying turned his head slightly. He glared at Touya, manically from under his fringe and the young master was reminded of Yue, when the first strike of insanity brought about by Kyree began to show. He frowned and did not let go, he couldn't let go of Hei-ying, wouldn't let him fall too deep into his waking nightmare.
"You think of him . . ." hissed the rage-filled creature before him now, the Hei-ying that once was. "Even now as we are alone together!" The dark angel turned toward him, speaking words he had only ever thought but never spoke. "While the brat slumbers and that over grown house-cat stuffs himself in the kitchen, you think of them, what fun you can have with them! When you should be remembering me . . . I am your lover, you took me, you always loved me!"
Touya stared at him, staying silent as Hei-ying drew back his lips and snarled at him.
"I killed for you; I did everything in my power to ensure you never left me . . . I protected you when others wanted to part us! And now . . ." tears, angry tears, fierce, burning tears welled up in Hei-ying's eyes as he glared and he spat at Touya. "Now you think of him, when he's not even of age! We were together alone for ten years! I excused you when that house cat came; I knew you could never love him as you did me . . . but then you created that brat! That . . . that . . . thing, to look like me, that was like me . . ." Hei-ying began to tremble and tried to wrench his hand from Touya's, "when you ruffle his hair playfully, does he smell like me?! When you hold him on your knee, do you wonder if he'll ride you like I did?! What . . ." Hei-ying's tears finally fell, and the anger seemed to run from him. "You once asked me to forgive you . . . that everything had been a mistake . . ." the dark angel swallowed and sank to the floor as if his knees had turned to jelly, he raised his free trembling hand and pressed it against his eyes in a vain attempt to stop the tears. "Forgive you for what . . .? How could it all have been a mistake when it felt so good to me? What can a mere creation do to forgive its master? I've never had any power over you . . . or still I would be the only one in your bed, and Yue would be nothing but a word on a page hidden away in your library . . ." he shook his head slowly, "oh Clow . . . why do you hurt me? Why tear my heart so, when I have done nothing but love you as you asked?" He looked up at Touya with eyes trapped in the past, "why create me, fuck me, leave me, seal me, forget about me but yet never let me go? You kill me with your words, you brand me with your touch . . . please, Clow . . . let me go . . ."
"I'm not Clow."
Hei-ying raised his head as Touya spoke quietly, sliding off the seat to join his guardian on the floor. He moved his hand down Hei-ying's wrist until he could hold Hei-ying's hand lightly.
"I'm not Clow Reed, I am Kinomoto Touya . . . you are not in the Reed Mansion; you are in the Tsukimine Mansion. I don't ask for your forgiveness . . . I'll never ask for pity . . . I only ask for you to wake up . . ." he stared at Hei-ying as the angel's bewilderment began to show, "can you hear me, Hei-ying?"
Tired eyes stared at him though a pale face, Hei-ying looked like he was about to throw up.
"I think . . ." he whispered quietly, "I think I am going to loose my mind again . . ." he raised his free hand and touched Touya's face, smiling ruefully. "But at least that answers my question . . . so this is sanity," he looked at his trembling hands and gave a tragic laughing sob, both bitter and cold at the same time, "I care little for it."
And so, the rainstorm came.
Hilligans took a turn for the worse as he slept, getting weaker and weaker and he was getting beyond the skills of even Touya. They thought briefly of taking the old man to the hospital, but events moved faster for them than they could even predict. The old man died quite suddenly one afternoon, not quite alone but with one person by his side.
They couldn't bury him until the rains passed on or lightened for a bit. Soon, Eriol gave up on waiting for the rains to change and with the aid of Sakura and Touya cast a spell over the mansion. The solid rain that had been falling ceased for half a day, enough time for Yukito and Touya to dig a decent grave and for Eriol to fashion a stone to mark the, hopefully, final resting place of the old man who'd taken part in more than any of them could imagine.
The day wore on, and by the late evening as they held the small service; the sky was dull and overcast with full heavy clouds. Eriol said a few words as his wife laid flowers down for the man she'd never had the chance to thank for the beautiful gardens she'd enjoyed not only here, but in the original lands around the Reed Mansion.
Spinel and Keroberos sat sombrely at the heels of their masters, while their sister and brother stood behind them. Yukito had already said a private good-bye so Yue could stand here in silent contemplation of a man he'd never met yet had always known of. Sakura cried a little, she couldn't understand why Maduokai had been so cruel to this old man. Eriol's mourning was palatable, and she couldn't help but wonder what Clow's reaction would be to know that his best friend had died once more and he couldn't be there for this second burial.
Syaoran stood behind her silently; ready to help her if she needed him. He glanced up at Touya and noticed with a little surprise that he seemed to be more concerned about Hei-ying for once rather than the effect this was having on his lover. Hei-ying stood by Touya's side, pale and sickly looking as he had been looking for the last week.
It seemed that Hilligans' death had shaken the guardian deeply. The brewing darkness Syaoran thought he'd seen in the jade eyes seemed to have been beaten back or withered away. Hilligans and Hei-ying had known each other; Hei-ying had killed him the first time and Hilligans had died this time with only Hei-ying in his attendance.
There was no foul play, Hei-ying had not killed him again, and this they were sure off. Against Sakura's wishes, Eriol and Syaoran had pressed Touya just to double check. It seemed that Hilligans had simply passed away, just as Hei-ying had reported it.
The dark angel stood still as the others filtered past the grave, murmuring last goodbyes and thanks. He stayed by the old man's grave until the spell finally wore off and the rain came again. He stayed until dinner came and went, until his master; Touya came out with an umbrella and stood with him in silence. Together, they stayed until nighttime came and it became too dark to see the stone and the words it bore.
Only then did the dark angel finally speak his first words since reporting the man dead.
"He pitied me."
Touya blinked out of his own random thoughts and glanced over at his guardian, fairly unsure if the angel had spoken or not. Hei-ying's profile was darkened and only the slight glow of his jade eyes reminded Touya that he was not a shadow.
"He woke up briefly while I was passing and called out . . . I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to show myself to him . . . I killed him the first time, I didn't want my face to the only one he saw before death . . . I would have left, fetched you but he only laughed and said that it would be too late."
Touya raised his hand and closed his eyes, murmuring a little spell Hei-ying had taught him. An orb of softly glowing blue magic appeared there and illuminated the two under the umbrella, twinkling quietly off the rain as it fell all around them.
Hei-ying smiled sadly as he continued to stare at the grave as if darkness had not befallen them.
"He asked me what had happened to me . . . how I had become this way? 'Way?' I said to him as I stepped closer, he told me I looked like I should have . . . like I was finally right in the head . . ." Hei-ying laughed, a hollow sad sound that hurt even stoic Touya's heart. "He called me 'sane' just as I feel I'm beginning to loose that precious thing again . . ."
Touya glanced at the grave again then to Hei-ying, "why did he pity you?"
"I think he knew . . . maybe he watched . . ." Hei-ying mumbled, "peeking from the other side . . . thought ghosts were not allowed to haunt the living . . ." he tilted his head, "then again, what am I doing?"
"Hei-ying . . ." Touya said quietly but firmly, trying to tie down the being's wandering attention, "why did he pity you?"
The dark angel smiled again, his eyes becoming slightly glassy. The angel's hair hung damply over his forehead, drips of water clinging to the sleek black strands, pale forehead and sharp eyebrows. His eyelashes were beading with water, but whether it was with tears or rain, it didn't seem to matter. "Did you know when Clow's parents died; he ignored his family and ran away?" Hei-ying knelt, coming out of the protection of the umbrella. "He asked me if Clow had left me . . ." he placed a hand onto the newly turned earth and repeated his answer quietly, "I only wished he had . . ."
He straightened and stood, still out of the protection of the umbrella and let the rain wash him. He turned his eyes upward and stared hard at the clouds, "He pitied me, Touya . . . because I had to live with Clow for a very long time . . ."
The other tilted his head at the vague reference and stared at Hei-ying. The angel was weak and tired, mortally so. As a magical creation, Hei-ying seemed washed out again, his power and his beauty withering with the weight of existence. But still behind this weariness, Hei-ying seemed to carry a darkness in him, rolling and raging impotently at the weakness of his body.
Touya sighed and glanced down at his watch, time was rolling onto midnight. He looked up at the house and saw the front doors were coming open, light spilled from the windows in the main hall as the others got ready to come and fetch them from the body drenching rain.
He turned to Hei-ying again, and found the angel pressing a hand against Hilligans' gravestone and murmuring softly. He stepped closer and only caught the last few muttered words of: " . . . have no idea of how I envy you . . ."
After that, some of the life seemed to come back to Hei-ying, if only a gloss of it. He straightened and motioned Touya forward. The master sighed and started back to the mansion, pausing only to wait for Hei-ying to catch up so they could walk under the umbrella together.
As they got closer, Touya saw Hei-ying smile to himself and murmur something quietly. When they got to the steps and Ruby Moon let them in, Hei-ying stopped outside and stared up. His attention was caught on the one lit room on the fourth floor. Touya shook his head at Ruby and motioned her away as he stepped outside again and stood with his guardian. They stood in the rain together for a long time, the rain pelting them hard and bouncing off the umbrella loudly as Touya lofted it at least a little over them.
It took a moment for Touya to realise which window he was gazing at. It was the room in which Clow Reed continued to dream in.
"Touya . . ." Hei-ying's voice was quietly amused, as if Hei-ying was sharing a little personal joke with him. The young magician looked at him, a single dark, bushy eyebrow raised in asking. Hei-ying's eyes didn't stray from the window.
". . . don't let me live my life again."
Blinking slowly, Touya stared at Hei-ying. The angel's previous confidence was gone again. And before Touya now stood an elderly sounding creation who'd seen enough of life, the ever-young look of him wore poorly almost like torture. Horribly cruel to trap such an old and exhausted spirit in the body of one so young. Determined to end Hei-ying's laments, Touya shook his head, "I won't let it happen again, should Clow even try to . . . call me, day or night call to me . . ."
Hei-ying smiled ruefully, his eyes never leaving window above him as they stood under the heavy, cold rain. "My dear brother has such a strong lover . . ." Murmured the angel sagely, causing Touya started slightly as Hei-ying looped his arm under Touya's umbrella holding arm, linking their elbows. He raised his other hand and patted Touya's clasped hand lightly as he moved them forward again. Touya stepped into the warm hall and looked back as Hei-ying paused on the threshold, staring out abandoned into the darkness as it rumbled darkly, "how old I suddenly feel . . ." he whispered to the darkness, sounding perhaps a little surprised. Touya moved closer, but stayed within the mansion. He looked at the angel's eyes, sad jade eyes that knew entirely too much. His voice was aged, creaking almost under the weight of remembrance and finally Touya thought he recognised this Hei-ying.
He'd seen this worn out, tired dark angel before. He reached out and tried to touch Hei-ying's shoulder but the shadowy angel was walking back to the darkness and the rain again.
"Hei-ying?"
His guardian glanced over his shoulder and smiled ruefully to Touya as he stood just outside of the warmth of the mansion. "Now I am complete . . . I remember my own death . . ." Hei-ying's head tilted back further and stared at the sky, his bare feet slowing to a stop as Hei-ying whispered again, "how old I suddenly feel . . ."
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And Now It's Time To LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!
Hei-ying: can you not give me a moment of happiness?!
DrM: Nope, especially since old Clow is back!
Clow: [grins brightly]
Hei-ying: [sighs] it's so unfair.
DrM: the definition of unfair is . . .[gulps and looks at readers nervously] Me going on holiday for two weeks? Meaning I'll miss a couple of updates. . . maybe . . .
Hei-ying: [snorts] bah, nobody will miss you . . .
DrM: [frowns at Hei-ying] meanie . . . Anyway, I'll miss them, especially since I won't be able to check reviews for ages . . . but, [winks] don't let that put you off review please!! Thank you for reading!! HAVE A VERY MERRY (AND PIPPIN) CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Hei-ying: yeah, have a REALLY merry Christmas . . . while I SUFFER!!
DrM: [folds arms] You know, in my orginal story [SHAMELESS PLUG Story I hope one day to get published] You are such a Happier person . . .
Hei-ying: [sighs] ho. . . ho. . . ho.