She won't mind that I nicked it though. How do I know? Because she's ME!
Note: The names of the DCFDTL are all taken from Classical Greek Culture. Leonidas is the Spartan guy who died fighting the Persians, Alexander is Alexander the Great, Phillip is Alexander the Great's Daddy, Lysistrata is a character from one of Aristophanes' plays and Ariadne… I forget what Ariadne did. I always get her confused with Arachne, the spider woman.
Numbuhs One through Five were sitting. Not doing anything else, just sitting on the sofa, all apart from Numbuh Two who was sitting on Numbuh One who was sitting on the sofa. The alarm from Numbuh One's Defence Array was blaring at its loudest, signalling the attacks of some of the weirdest people in existence. And yet the KND were sitting. On the sofa. (or on their friends, in Numbuh Two's case)
Knightbrace had somehow managed to squirt toothpaste on the windowsill and was frantically trying to scrub it clean with a hacksaw pilfered from Numbuh Two's vast repertoire of offensive objects.
The Delightful Children from Down the Lane, too many to count (ok, five. It's not my fault I flunked maths) were hanging upside down from the ceiling trying to play strip rummy without much success. They had attached toilet plungers to their feet in order to avoid the line of sight of the KND, but had made the plungers too sticky. They couldn't get them unstuck after they realised the KND weren't paying any attention anyway, and there was now a bet to see who would come unstuck first.
The Toilenator was being a prat, as per usual. Quite what he was doing, I don't think you want to know and besides, I can't work out anyway.
"I'm BORED!" Numbuh Two yelled irrationally for the fourth time, still sitting on top of Numbuh One, who was making the occasional noise of protest.
"We'd noticed." Numbuh Five said, inspecting her nails.
The small blond boy from the Delightfuls came detached from the ceiling and fell, landing on Numbuh Two. Neither Numbuh One nor the sofa could cope with the combined weight, and both collapsed.
The leader of the Kids Next Door lay in a classic spread-eagle pose under the sofa and Numbuh Two and that blond kid who's name I can't remember.
Numbuh Four, deciding to do something, wrestled the hacksaw out of Knightbrace's grip before the creepy yet loveable arsewit (Knightbrace, Not Numbuh Four. Numbuh Four's not that creepy) caused himself and everyone else in the room an injury.
"Ha! I won the bet!" The Helmeted Delightful said. (Ok, from now on their names are Leonidas (the blond boy), Phillip (helmet guy) Lysistrata (that's the short glasses girl) Alexander (the tall one) and Ariadne ( – that's the other one) this will stay until they have a name change or whatever)
"No you didn't!" Ariadne cried in frustration. Because of the disjointed plot of this fic, the Delightfuls are finally separated (painfully, of course)
"Did too!" Phil slapped his sister and she dropped the dollar bill she was holding. She slapped him back only hitting her hand on his helmet.
Leo and Numbuh Two shakily helped each other up. Neither of them was in a state as bad as Numbuh One, though. He was no longer breathing properly, more slightly gibbering as he shook relentlessly. His glasses were embedded in his head and would probably have to be surgically removed.
Slowly the other Delightfuls became detached from the ceiling, landing in a heap on the floor.
"I'M BORED!" Numbuh Two irrationally yelled again.
"We'd noticed!" Numbuh Five said, trying to keep her temper. "Uh… Numbuh One? Uh… guys, I think we should help Numbuh One… he looks a bit two dimensional…"
Willing hands pulled the British leader up from the floor.
"Are you ok, boss?" Abby (#5) asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I just had an epiphany is all." Nigel (#1) replied, rubbing his head.
"A who in the what now?"
"An epiphany. To cure people's boredom."
Suddenly everyone in the room was full on attention-wise. Hoagie (#2) was looking happy for the first time in, ooh, minutes.
"Why not play Truth or Dare?" Nigel asked, grinning happily.
"Why play Truth or Dare?" Phil asked, glaring.
"It's either play Truth or Dare or get impaled on a spit and roasted, ok?" Nigel answered. Phil raised an eyebrow but fell silent.
"Me first!" Kuki (#3) said happily, though no one was sure whether she knew what was going on or not. "Um… Nigel, truth or dare?"
"Wha? Oh… er… truth… I guess…"
"Yay! What'syourmostembarrassingsecret???" Kuki burbled.
"Um… sorry?"
"What's – your – most – embarrassing – secret?" the Japanese girl repeated, speaking very slowly.
"Oh… um… probably… the fact that… um… I went on a date to the cinema with Numbuh Five!" Nigel stuttered. Abby looked at him in disgust.
"You promised you wouldn't tell!"
"Oh, please! It's different if you're playing truth or dare!"
"Whatever."
Nigel turned to the Delightfuls.
"You, shortarse, truth or dare?"Leo glared at Nigel.
"I'll have you know my height is not my fault. Anyway, look at Beetles over there. Huh. I'll show you good things come in small packages. Dare, and give me your best shot!"
Wally, slightly irritated by the Delightful Kid's jibe at him, went over and whispered in Nigel's ear. The sound was ominous and the tension was gathering. Leo was actually regretting his words a moment earlier when Wally walked away from Nigel, smirking.
"I dare you to play a prank on your Daddy."
Leo's mouth dropped open in horror. Nigel smiled kindly.
"Oh, come now. I'm not completely heartless so I'll give you a choice of prank. You can have either the Finger-Trapped-In-Door or the Kick-Up-The- Arse-Causing-A-Comical-Fall-Down-The-Stairs."
"NOT COMPLETELY HEARTLESS?" Leo yelled in disbelief. Nigel was sentencing him to certain death. He was shaking more than a spastic mouse in a field frequented by homicidal owls with X – ray vision. In other words he was shaking a lot. His voice was so high that it could be heard by dogs within a 50 mile radius.
Leo's siblings were having an extraordinary amount of trouble concealing their giggles. The unfortunate vertically challenged boy glared at them before resigning himself to choose a prank, which would result in certain death for either him or Nigel.
He sincerely hoped it would be Nigel.