Title: That girl: A tribute to the DIVAS month
Author: Steffie
Rating: PG to PG 13 (maybe just some language)
Characters: All present divas and some past divas
This chapter pairing: Jackie/Rico
Summary: A series explaining the best feature about the fabulous divas in the WWE today.
Note: Each chapter will be in the POV of a male wrestler, and he will explain what makes the chosen diva so special. Some chapters I will make the pairing clear, some will be a surprise till the end.
Note: I really don't like her, but I shall try my best to make this a nice story.
Note 2: I am using Rico, but I do not mean it in the sense as a love interest. I am using him as a kind of mentor so to speak.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.
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Watching myself in the mirror, I straighten my sideburns with my perfectly teethed comb. I kind of hate this comb, for it is red. And what is so funny? I hate red! Red really is not my color, and it is making my hair droop down and look lifeless. Red makes my hair depressed and no mousse will bring it back to life. I scoff as I see you snort. Its obvious you don't have, or for that matter ever had any styling sense. Look at you, faded jeans went out LONG ago honey, that look is SOOO LAST SEASON. I flip my hair at you and start to veil my nails and cross my legs. You are the last person to laugh, your hair looks like it has more split ends that Shawn Michaels had one-night stands.
So back to what you were asking the fabulous Rico. What was the question again? Your hair was been traumatizing my mind that I cant even remember the question. You really need to see a professional about that, you look hideous enough as it is. And may I recommend Suave or Herbal Essence Shampoo. I'm sure you would love that orgasmic, oops, I mean organic feeling. I try to suppress my giggles as you look angry but I know that you know that I am right, and I am sure that you know that I know that you know that I am right. You look confused and I roll my eyes. Forget it, I am not going to waste my precious breath on explaining common sense to you. No matter how hard I try I cannot give you common sense.
Anyway, back to my important life and me. Yeah, now I remember your question. It about my lovely valet Miss Jackie. I do not wish to call her my valet, she is much more than that. She is my friend, she is like my little sister and she is my student. I see you arch an eyebrow at me. Yes she is my student. I cannot help but burst in laughter when you say that you thought that Al Snow and Bill Demott trained her. No, not wrestling you styleless nincompoop! She is my student in fashion.
Ah yes, Jackie is my student in fashion. Do you honestly think she came with that fabulous ring attire by herself? If you think that then you must be blind and stupid. I watched her from Tough Enough 2 and I almost drop dead when I saw her clothing style. But I remained calm and straightened out my lycra outfit. She may have been clueless in style, but I could have seen in her eyes, this girl had potential to be the classiest dressed diva in the WWE. And that is what makes her fabulous, her sense of Style.
You know, before Jackie, I was on a search for a different diva. I had my eyes set on other divas. I wanted a diva that was already on the roster. And sure enough, I was disappointed beyond repair. Torrie Wilson's hair alone was too bland for even me, ME, the style icon to even try to control. Dawn could have been good, but the fact that she was dating Eddie Guerrero, I just couldn't handle that. Sure, Eddie looks HOT now, but just me trying to see a mullet on his head made me gag. Lita, um no, I do not like women that try to hide their female assets in baggy pants, and Molly just was too, well, too, everything. All divas where not good enough. I was beginning to lose hope when I saw Jackie.
I'll admit, my jaw dropped when I saw her horrible wardrobe and her nappy hair, but I could see in her eyes, she was the one. She had more potential than Jericho had ass cream. Then again, Jericho did have a nice ass, as did Christian. OOH, and RVD, bubble butt! I shiver at the mere thought of them. Ok, back to the question at hand. Ugh, your wardrobe really isn't working now. Here, let me fix it. Damn it, I want to fix it, not rip it, come here!
After I took Jackie under my wing, I realized how I misjudged her. She busted out of her shell and showed me the real fashion expert that she was. I wanted to start simple and designed these hot pink pants for her, and she had patches cut out of it, exposing her round derriere along with her fabulous thighs. I went into her bedroom and squealed like a little child when I saw it. NSYNC posters on the wall, Christina Aguilera on the stereo, and the whole collection of the thigh master and butt busters on tape. She also had these really heavenly candles that made your skin relax.
And then the best part, she had the biggest walk in closet I have ever seen in my glamorous life. And style, that she had. She is virtually the only person that can pull off wearing white after Labor Day. I always thought it was a deadly sin to do so, but my bitch had the balls, no pun intended fellas, to break all the rules. Do you think you can pull of a perm with an Elvis like cat suite? No, I didn't think so, I don't think your hair can handle such a task.
I am sure you remember when Jackie flashed the French bastard. I absolutely loved that moment. That op was just the best top she has in her closet. When we went shopping I told her she would look like a cheap slut in that shirt but she assured me she would like great, and great she did. Didn't you hear the crowd cheering? They agreed, that top was fantabulous!
You know, I could go on about her style, but your presence is making me want to do a redo on your whole body. It's time your queer eye! Come here honey, I'll fix that hair. Hey, wait, where are you going? Remember, I said it was her sense of style!
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Hehehehehe, that was fun. I'm sorry, I don't really like her so I couldn't make this longer. Hope it was as funny as I hoped it to be.
Steffie