Part 21: Moving In or Moving Out
November 19th 2003
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Mac whispered when she woke up from someone climbing into her bed. The movements were well known to her so she wasn't alarmed, just a bit surprised.
"I didn't want to go home," Harm whispered back not wanting to wake Elena up.
"The monsters under your bed are scaring you?" Mac said a bit sleepily.
"I just wanted to protect you from yours," Harm said and snuggled up close to her. "What would you say to having our monsters under the same bed?"
"I don't think there's enough room for them all."
"Well, maybe we just need a bigger bed... Mac?"
"Yeah," Mac had almost fallen back to sleep by now.
"Would you like us to live together?"
"I would, but we need to discuss that tomorrow when we're both awake, OK?"
"Mm," Harm couldn't deny his need for sleep either. There was no place in the whole world where he rather slept than next to Mac, his Marine.
November 20th 2003
"Hey, Mac, are we still on for lunch?"
"Yeah, give me just another five minutes, okay?" Mac asked him.
Five minutes later they were heading out of the office. They had decided to go to a restaurant and have some time to themselves.
"So how is the case going? Is Sturgis giving you any problems?"
"He added manslaughter to the charges... Are you disappointed that he got to go instead of you?"
"That's kind of what I want to talk to you about..."
The waitress came and took their orders. Harm remained silent until Mac started talking again.
"I've been thinking about taking a job that won't require as much travels and work hours."
"I thought you liked it at JAG," Harm interrupted. He really hadn't seen this coming.
"I love my work at JAG, it challenges me all the time, but I just can't go on like this. I'm so tired and exhausted. Sooner rather than later this won't be a choice for me. I will start making mistakes and I'd rather end when I'm still on top, you know."
"Is this because of me, because I haven't taken enough responsibility for Mattie. I'm the one who brought her to you and I guess I could have been around more. It's just she seems to turn more to you when she needs help from a parent."
"I think that might be because she isn't sure you want to take on that part with her. That you'd rather just be her friend. The thing is it's not about how much time you spend at our place or how many things you help her or me with. At the moment I don't feel like you're sharing the responsibility for her and I guess I haven't felt like I could require you to do that either. You didn't force me into anything and I probably had a much better idea of what this would be like than you had," Mac stopped. She wasn't sure how she was going to be able to explain that she loved both him and Mattie and didn't want to give up either one of them. She just wanted to be honest with him about the reasons for her desire for a calmer job.
"Mac I understand what you're saying... I think I already knew that something wasn't right. I've felt like a visitor at your place and it's hard to become a part of your everyday life when I'm not around all the time. I really want to change that, Mac. Please give me a chance to try."
"Is this about you moving in with us?" Mac asked bringing the conversation back to where it was supposed to have gone.
"Sort of. I saw an ad in the paper the day I left for the Gilcrest so I never got around to talk about it with you then. I mean you know we could just look at it, we don't have to," Harm was quickly getting off track so Mac interfered.
"Look at what, Harm?"
"This apartment in Lyon Park..."
"Harm, are you sure about this?" Mac asked him seriously.
"Well, I'd like to have a look at it first, but..."
"No, I meant us living together. I don't want to force you into anything. If you still want your freedom, I'll understand that. I really would. I just don't want you to change for my sake. With a different job I'm sure I can handle both Elena and Mattie."
"Ever since... I don't know for how long... I've sensed that I'm missing something. A family. It's just gotten worse being over at you place and seeing what I could have. I really want this family with you. I want you, I want Elena and I want Mattie. You know, it almost feels like it is a selfish thing to ask you to move in with me," he concluded and smiled.
"If you're sure about that I would love to look at that apartment. Do you have an appointment to go and look at it already?" Mac said with a lot of relief in her voice.
"Would you be angry with me and call me presumptuous if I did?"
"No," Mac said and laughed a little.
"Then yes, I do. It's for tonight right after work. We could pick Elena up before we head over there."
"Sounds great. I'll leave a message for Mattie."
TBC
November 19th 2003
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Mac whispered when she woke up from someone climbing into her bed. The movements were well known to her so she wasn't alarmed, just a bit surprised.
"I didn't want to go home," Harm whispered back not wanting to wake Elena up.
"The monsters under your bed are scaring you?" Mac said a bit sleepily.
"I just wanted to protect you from yours," Harm said and snuggled up close to her. "What would you say to having our monsters under the same bed?"
"I don't think there's enough room for them all."
"Well, maybe we just need a bigger bed... Mac?"
"Yeah," Mac had almost fallen back to sleep by now.
"Would you like us to live together?"
"I would, but we need to discuss that tomorrow when we're both awake, OK?"
"Mm," Harm couldn't deny his need for sleep either. There was no place in the whole world where he rather slept than next to Mac, his Marine.
November 20th 2003
"Hey, Mac, are we still on for lunch?"
"Yeah, give me just another five minutes, okay?" Mac asked him.
Five minutes later they were heading out of the office. They had decided to go to a restaurant and have some time to themselves.
"So how is the case going? Is Sturgis giving you any problems?"
"He added manslaughter to the charges... Are you disappointed that he got to go instead of you?"
"That's kind of what I want to talk to you about..."
The waitress came and took their orders. Harm remained silent until Mac started talking again.
"I've been thinking about taking a job that won't require as much travels and work hours."
"I thought you liked it at JAG," Harm interrupted. He really hadn't seen this coming.
"I love my work at JAG, it challenges me all the time, but I just can't go on like this. I'm so tired and exhausted. Sooner rather than later this won't be a choice for me. I will start making mistakes and I'd rather end when I'm still on top, you know."
"Is this because of me, because I haven't taken enough responsibility for Mattie. I'm the one who brought her to you and I guess I could have been around more. It's just she seems to turn more to you when she needs help from a parent."
"I think that might be because she isn't sure you want to take on that part with her. That you'd rather just be her friend. The thing is it's not about how much time you spend at our place or how many things you help her or me with. At the moment I don't feel like you're sharing the responsibility for her and I guess I haven't felt like I could require you to do that either. You didn't force me into anything and I probably had a much better idea of what this would be like than you had," Mac stopped. She wasn't sure how she was going to be able to explain that she loved both him and Mattie and didn't want to give up either one of them. She just wanted to be honest with him about the reasons for her desire for a calmer job.
"Mac I understand what you're saying... I think I already knew that something wasn't right. I've felt like a visitor at your place and it's hard to become a part of your everyday life when I'm not around all the time. I really want to change that, Mac. Please give me a chance to try."
"Is this about you moving in with us?" Mac asked bringing the conversation back to where it was supposed to have gone.
"Sort of. I saw an ad in the paper the day I left for the Gilcrest so I never got around to talk about it with you then. I mean you know we could just look at it, we don't have to," Harm was quickly getting off track so Mac interfered.
"Look at what, Harm?"
"This apartment in Lyon Park..."
"Harm, are you sure about this?" Mac asked him seriously.
"Well, I'd like to have a look at it first, but..."
"No, I meant us living together. I don't want to force you into anything. If you still want your freedom, I'll understand that. I really would. I just don't want you to change for my sake. With a different job I'm sure I can handle both Elena and Mattie."
"Ever since... I don't know for how long... I've sensed that I'm missing something. A family. It's just gotten worse being over at you place and seeing what I could have. I really want this family with you. I want you, I want Elena and I want Mattie. You know, it almost feels like it is a selfish thing to ask you to move in with me," he concluded and smiled.
"If you're sure about that I would love to look at that apartment. Do you have an appointment to go and look at it already?" Mac said with a lot of relief in her voice.
"Would you be angry with me and call me presumptuous if I did?"
"No," Mac said and laughed a little.
"Then yes, I do. It's for tonight right after work. We could pick Elena up before we head over there."
"Sounds great. I'll leave a message for Mattie."
TBC