Teach Me How To Be Cool

Lesson #4: Hatching A Productive Plan is Crucial

[Heero]

The Talon [1] was an old, abandoned restaurant that had stood for 3 decades past; a five-story building that was a walking distance from school.

For the past few years, it remained untouched and stable, no one wanted to buy it-they said it was cursed. I never believed in curses. I never believed in anything but myself. While some said it was haunted by its deceased owners.

I never knew them because the Talon had been long gone before I was born, never knew why on earth they called it "The Talon" but rumor has it that if you kissed someone on its rooftop you'd stay together for as long as your warped life will go on.

The simpleton would call it sweet, I would call it pathetic. But nonetheless, the curse or whatever they wanted to label it, vaguely tapped why the place was called 'The Talon'. 

I hated this place-the small isolated town of Darlington. I've been living here since I was born but my mother always told me about her home country-Japan.

I remember she used to let me sit on her lap and read me stories of her descent that had characters with funny names. I never liked my name either-Heero Yuy. I wanted a different name, a different life, different country.

I felt out of place.

That was when I was little, however when I started school I became well known for a reason I do not know till now. I didn't like the attention; I didn't like the fawning either.

The girls who followed me back when I was in the 7th grade were superficial and fake. They giggled when I glared at them, stuffed gifts in my locker and stalked me to school.

Eventually they stopped when I threatened to kill them.

I hated life.

Till Relena Peacecraft change my whole perspective and walked like a winter breeze into my life last year. Or so I thought. She didn't giggle over me, rarely expressed affection and if anything, she bossed me around. I was madly infatuated with her as she was with me.

But back to The Talon.

When we were little, Trowa and I would climb the fire exit and play out on the rooftop. Of course we never kissed, we just played around with our makeshift swords and poked each other on the ribs.

I guess I'm lucky to have a friend like Trowa, one who mirrors the hollowness of my soul because like twins, both of know that we cannot pass up for normal. I can never say I trust him though.

I trust no one.

I pulled over in front of the Talon. The sun was up and painted the old hunk of bricks a soft gold.

I remembered how I kissed Relena on the rooftop; how she smiled and told me she loved me.

All that is past now.

I stopped the engine, pulled out my car keys and looked at Maxwell. I hated how soft I was feeling.

"Get off."

He gulped before scrambling out of the car and slamming the door shut. I followed after him and soon we were on the sidewalk gazing up at the old building.

"The Talon." Maxwell murmured wistfully. "You know, they say that if you kiss someone on its rooftop, you two will end up together forever. I believe it, you know. I think it's kind of romantic, sweet. Do you believe that baloney though?"

The problem with Maxwell is that he thinks everything is sweet, good-natured. He was brought up without a care in the world because he had been granted a first class ticket to heaven when he learned how to walk.

It sickened me.

"I think it's idiotic."

Maxwell frowned and he turned to me with a hurtful glint in his amethyst eyes. He shut up finally and sighed. I knew the coffee after effect was ebbing away. I was glad for once.

I walked over to the door, kicked it open and entered the darkness.

Maxwell scurried after me in a hurry and he was so damn close I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I shuddered as the doors barred behind me.

It invited the ambience of sleep, and due to my lack thereof, the environment lulled me.

"Not too close." I hissed.

He stepped back and I groped for the stairs amidst the dark that enveloped the first floor.

It smelled like rust and rot, decaying wood and something I couldn't quite place a finger on.

I reached into my pocket and lit my lighter, wondering why on earth I hadn't thought of it before. Feeling as stupid as the preacher's sissy son, I walked towards the spiraling staircase on the left and climbed hastily.

The staircase was a tad wobbly and looked like it was about to fall out of place. Maxwell whimpered behind me and I felt like rolling my eyes as I held up the lighter to illuminate my way.

I didn't smoke, though I wish I did.

"This staircase looks kind of... unstable do you think it's a good idea to come up all the way there? It looks scary and dark and old. Maybe we should just get -" 

"Shut up." I ordered sternly.

Maxwell did and walked behind me slowly, holding onto the bars.

The staircase shook at our weight and I almost stumbled once or twice. Maxwell was gripping tight on the bars and shaking furiously, or maybe he was crying. I don't and didn't want to know.

I was wondering why he didn't start reciting a prayer or something. Isn't it what most religious people do?

"I... I don't think I can go on further... I've a phobia of heights...and... My feet are shaking like mad... I'll just go down, all right?"

I grunted, was about to tell him he was a big yellow chicken but said something different instead.

"Grab the hem of my shirt."

"Wha-"

"Just grab it."

He did as I told him and we reached the rooftop safely, with him clinging to my waist as if it were life support.

He looked almost wan with fear. He collapsed on the ground and shivered pathetically.

"Glad that was over." He murmured to himself. "Why did you want to go here anyway, of all places?"

I shrugged, my back turned to him as I surveyed the view of the city. From there I could see the school's rooftop and the town church. "I kissed Relena here." I blurted.

Shit.

Maxwell fell silent. "Oh..." When I turned to him, he was gazing down at the pavement to where I'd parked my car. Or at least I thought so. I pocketed my lighter.

"What happened?"

"We broke up."

"No, I meant when you kissed her." Maxwell managed to smile, but it was a fake sort of crooked smile. I knew because I've seen a lot.

"She vomited on my shoes." Maxwell giggled at that, and when I say giggled I mean it. It was almost feminine and his cheeks flushed as he smiled at me.

"She was afraid of heights." I explained though I could not find the joy to smile just the same. Maxwell nodded and smiled shyly once more before blushing and turning away. "Like you."

"Why do you do this Heero Yuy?"

My head snapped up.

I was looking at this stranger whose life I had ruined yesterday.

I didn't know what I was thinking trying to kiss him like that; I didn't know why I did it either-well, I'd mistaken him for a girl the first time but the two consecutive occurrences?

Suddenly I was standing next to Maxwell, and I saw through him. He was a social outcast and even I knew that but he didn't care what people thought of him. He was happy that way and he could smile through it.

I envied his happiness, his perfect life, his ability to see the good in other people.

I felt guilty of calling him things behind his back. Leaving him after telling him I had a castle years back.

"Do what?"

"You turned my whole world upside down since yesterday," Maxwell fidgeted with his hands again, tugged irritably at his braid. "You kissed me three times, you... drove me home... will drive me to school today-it seems all too sudden. It seems too good to be true. What do you want from me? I'm no one. I'm a boy too."

What did I want from him? I couldn't answer that either. For the first time I was at a loss for words, or maybe it was my second time-it seems as if when I was with the braided baka I found myself acting like an incoherent bundle of nerves.

When did I start liking him? Did I want him? I guess not. I couldn't say he wasn't attractive though. He looked cute but not exactly in a masculine way.

I had never considered possessing him. I'm straight after all.  I shrugged once more-it was my escape patch all the time. "We're going to be late," Maxwell told me. "Maybe we should get going. Quatre took his limo today."

I nodded and headed for the fire exit. Maxwell stared at me incredulously.

"What are you doing?"

"Going down."

"But... that... that thing's so high... How could you possibly... without falling off..."

"You can use the stairs." I said without looking up. I was climbing down already.

"Hey... wait for me! I don't want to go down there, it's dark and- I said wait, you idiot!" I had to chuckle-not a derisive mocking snort but a soft amused chuckle. It was the first time I'd done that and Maxwell flushed and crossed his arms.

"What's so funny?"

"You're afraid of everything." I said monotonously. "It's pathetic."

I meant that as a joke but he took it seriously and stomped away towards the direction of the staircase. That's the very reason I never did fool around. The dumb mistake I'd committed was saying it without feeling; then again I was immune to emotion.

"You'll see!!" He yelled. "I'm not afraid of the dark! Ha! Afraid of the dark... who does he think he is? Mr. Perfect.. I'll show him.."

"I didn't mean that." I climbed back up and jogged towards him. Why was I even bothering? Because... hell I don't know.

"If it's any comfort, I'll catch you when you fall." I tried to smile sincerely but failed once more—like I said I never learned, never will.

"Yeah yeah..." He sneered. "You're just mocking me.. I know it... I'll take the stairs... Can I borrow the lighter you used? It's pretty nifty."

"We'll take the exit."

I grabbed him by the hand and steered him to the fire exit. Maxwell whistled.

"It's a long way down."

I gripped at his hand and felt my heart make a mad tumult in my chest. I needed a gun again-better to shoot myself with. He was another boy and I didn't swing that way.

The odd sensation that overtook me was foreign-just as I was in this country. I looked at him in the eye and he gulped, blushing altogether. I wonder how he does that.

 "Nah... You don't have to... I can take the stairs...I'm not really that afraid of anything but if the boogey man comes out, hell (he profanes himself?) I'm screaming my head off..."

Boogey man? I wanted to ask him how old he was but knew that sounded offensive so decided against it.

I tugged at his hand and began taking several fast-paced steps downwards. "Heero! I'm scared!" I didn't know when we started addressing each other on the first name basis but as long as he's happy I hardly cared. "Trust me." I said.

Did I just say that?

Shit.

Maxwell was panicking and yelling as I pulled at his leg.

"Please!! Let's just use the stairs! I said I'm afraid of heights, didn't you hear!? I'm afraid of heights!!!!!! I'm too young to die!!!!!"

He was sobbing hysterically and begging above me but I didn't sneak a glance whatsoever, he busied himself by screaming.

At last we reached solid ground, and I was glad as ever to hear the end of the baka's rant. Maxwell looked horror-stricken and pale. He stumbled forwards and I caught him in my arms.

"Are you all right?"

He nodded, buried his nose in my chest. It felt right. It felt wrong. "I was so afraid... I thought I was going to die... I thought you were some mad psychopath bent on killing me...Thought I was gonna fall..." He laughed at his own words and looked up sweetly at me.

I convinced myself my nostalgia for Relena was making me desperate. So desperate in fact that I caressed Maxwell's cheek with a thumb, stroking patterned circles around the flushing bruised area.

I can't believe I hurt him.

I needed Relena; unfortunately she was temporarily unavailable so I brought my lips down on Maxwell's-

"I'm sorry." Maxwell turned away. "I can't do this. I don't want to upset my parents of their expectations of me. It's better that we just go to school all right? I've forgiven you the last three times you kissed me, ACCIDENTALLY (he accentuated the word) I even... prayed for God to forgive you last night for your sins..."

I almost gaped at him. He prayed... for me? My sins? What the-

What kind of person was he-a saint? I had almost forgotten he was a preacher's kid.

I turned my back at him, better to hide the shame burning my cheeks, which was too adamant to conceal.

The ride to school was silent.

***

"See you." Maxwell murmured as he hugged his books to his chest and hopped off the car. He walked stiffly to the high school's double doors without so much as a backward glance or another word.

"Hey lover boy."

I almost jumped out of my seat as Trowa showed up by the passenger's seat's window. He must have taken the bus.

"Had fun this morning?"

I glared at him and pulled out the keys, jamming them in my back pocket. I grabbed my backpack from the backseat and strode over to him shortly after I had locked the car doors.

"I thought you hated me." I said. "When you didn't answer my call last night."

Trowa smiled amusedly. "I thought the loathing was mutual." He shook his head at me, as if I were a foolish child who tracked mud all over the living room. "You called in at 3 am."

I frowned at him.

"You drove Duo to school today? How sweet of you, Heero." He said my name with such mockery I would've shot him if only I had a gun. Instead of drawing out an imaginary one though, I altered the topic.

"What happened to Winner last night?" I shot back instead. He looked almost upset.

"Drove him home." Trowa gripped at the strap of his backpack uneasily. "What do you think?"

"That you screwed him in record time?" I responded without the slightest hint of sarcasm because people in this side of town did not appreciate it. "Your lips were swollen, hair disheveled. What more could falsify your testimony of 'I drove him home'?"

Trowa rolled his eyes as we stopped by our lockers.

He made it a point to stop precisely in front of his locker door.

"I think you should forget Relena." He was taking out his history books and stuffing his Chemistry notes back in, dumping all the crap he didn't need. "You and Duo make a great pair."

"Winner's starting to rub off on you." I retorted. "Overnight. Calling people by their first names as if you know them well. I'm starting to think you did more-"

"We kissed. Period." Trowa cut me off rudely. "I tried to French Kiss him and our teeth clanked together. My head hurt. " [2]

I wanted to laugh but instead a cold, heartless chuckle emanated from me.

"Ouch."

"I had to get aspirin from the medicine cabinet last night."

"That explains the pissy mood."

"No, I'm more disappointed at your behavior Yuy."

"Calling me by my last name now?" We began walking to our next class-English in the Library again.

I'd almost forgotten I had detention duties with Maxwell today.

Trowa's visible brow shot up and he dragged me to a corner, grasping my elbow. I shoved him to the wall and he scowled at me, punched my cheek.

Due to lack of sleep (lucky there were no visible circles around my eyes) and far too much caffeine in my bloodstream, I had staggered backwards and fell to my back weakly.

The world spun in dizzying circles all around me and vertigo overtook my senses.

"You're sick." Trowa spat and as I knocked my jaws together.

I blinked blearily, fixated my imperious gaze on him and then I was riveted back to reality in record time.

"Don't fool around with Duo! He's the preacher's son for God's sake! Do you want Relena back? Or do you want to show her you'd move on?"

I hadn't thought about either, to be honest. "Move on." I said without thinking.

"I knew you wanted him." Trowa smirked as he helped me up to my feet.

"No I don't."

"Yeah and the longing look in your eyes last night totally sells that."

Longing look? I shrugged Trowa's arm off my shoulder but his smirk never once waned. "He's got you wrapped around his finger and you don't even know it, my friend."

What was that. "I think it's the other way around." I glared at him.

"You have got it so bad." Trowa murmured, shaking his head, laughing. "You looked crushed when he left the confines of your car this morning."

"Shut up." I wanted a gun and tomorrow I swear I'm getting one.

***

Her black nails dug into the fabric of my shirt as she clenched her fingers over my shoulder.

I winced as I turned to see look at her. She stared at me with scrutinizing eyes, tapping her foot impatiently against the floor, her little black boots nipping softly.

She wore a red top, which ghosted over her pierced belly button and flaunted the pale skin of the stomach that the black skirt hadn't reached yet. A small (upturned?) crucifix was playing in her fingers.

"What do you want, Dorothy?"

"Relena's throwing a party next Saturday at her place." She smiled, mischief veiling her words. "Thought you ought to know.

She's having a band over too. Don't want the masters to miss out on all the fun now, do we?"

She eyed Trowa up and down and smiled once more. "Don't forget to bring dates. If you can afford any."

And then she was gone. I pictured Relena playing tonsil hockey, all tipsy with her new boy toy in the party and found myself infuriated.

I'll show her.

Hn.

"Relena wants to make you jealous." I turned to Trowa, perused his words along with Dorothy's, which somehow seemed all vague. But I knew the truth was palpable-Relena wants to prove something to me.

She didn't need me anymore, wanted to hurt me and prove she can get anything she wanted by her own means. With the help of her money, looks but no thanks to her dim wit of course.

I nodded.

"I need a date."

Trowa steered me to the general direction of the library and told me to peer in. "See that braided guy over there?" He asked as if I were brain dead like my ex girl friend. "He's all yours if only you know how to deal with him."

I punched him in the gut.

***

I didn't know how Trowa lead me into this but there I was standing by Maxwell's locker, waiting for him to pass by.

It was Thursday-ten days counting down till Relena's party. I felt like I was standing there for an eternity, a little ashamed people might catch me standing there by Maxwell's locker.

He had avoided me profusely even after we had detention duties together as we were locked inside one room for a precisely an hour.

I barely spoke to him because my social skills were quite rusty as Trowa puts it and I just might 'scare him off' to quote the words of my best friend, or so I thought.

So I left it at that, sulked about my misery.

Maxwell had finally walked to his locker (somehow I was glad he wasn't accompanied by Winner) picked at the combination and pretended I didn't exist. He was blushing and avoiding eye contact as I feigned allurement.

Honestly, I didn't know why he was playing hard to get but I had a feeling it was about his religious upbringing.

He didn't like same sex relationships, so did I but I had to play the game if I wanted to win against Relena.

So I tried to smile, struggled to lift the edges of my lips and brighten my eyes but failed once more.

Maxwell was carrying his books, hugging them against his chest as usual. I noticed it had become a habit. "Do you want me to carry them?" I asked as nicely as possible.

Maxwell shook his head wildly, braid flipping in the air as he did so and ran from me.

Trowa appeared by my side looking appalled. "You scared him off!" He accused belatedly. "What did you say anyway?"

Why hadn't I bought a gun yet?

"I asked to carry his books for him."

Trowa sighed. I envied him for asking Winner out and succeeding, then again he was far more human than I can ever achieve to be.

"Well, let's try something else"

The next consecutive obstacles I had to overcome were humiliating for any other mortal being on this earth, of course me being the only exception.

I opened doors for Maxwell whenever I sighted him entering the classroom, library etc... Trowa urged me to smile but like I had said, I wasn't built to smile.

Maxwell would blush and still run from me, thus the door hitting my face as I hold it open for him to exit or enter.

Winner would follow shortly after him and Trowa who was either hiding in a nearby bush or concealing himself in the (sometimes nonexistent) crowd would rush to open the door for him, Winner blushing and smiling coyly at him.

Some people had all the luck.

When I had gone desperate, or rather when Trowa had, I'd found myself climbing up trees and watching Maxwell's every move through a pair of binoculars.

It was a Friday night and Trowa and I were sitting on a tree branch, looking into Maxwell's window.

Trowa claimed that if I only knew how Maxwell's mind worked then it was easy to obtain him more so ask him out. I handed Trowa the pair of binoculars, exhausted from watching Maxwell read Chicken Soup for The Preteen Soul after a painstaking hour.

"Winner's over, topless." I informed Trowa and he hastily grabbed the binoculars and peered into them.

"Easy soldier." He was practically aroused, panting like a dog in heat. It disgusted me-my best friend was gay. And pretty soon if I let myself get carried away, I might be as well. Fuck it.

The plan failed entirely because the tree we had climbed on, was weak and old but I was glad that Maxwell hadn't run away from me like the previous times.

And yes, we fell off the aforementioned tree. I hated Trowa. I hated the Reverend for blowing our cover, calling us perverted fornicators. [3]

Apparently, Trowa had been so damned hard he was practically rubbing himself on the branch and the Reverend being the holy man that he was, decided it was the perfect time to peer out the window of his room—his window was next to his son's—by then I was swaying in the branch with Trowa.

"Fucking stop." I aimed a fist at Trowa but missed. "Stop it you horny faggot!"

The Reverend mistook the scene, as I accidentally jerked forward into Trowa, my arms around his neck, as an act of... fornication? How should I know how his mind worked?

"Get out of my tree!!!!!!" He yelled.

At that, Maxwell and the topless Winner ventured into the windowsill and stared at Trowa, the binoculars and me.

Maxwell looked thoroughly pissed while Winner nibbled at his lower lip, blushing. It never occurred to me why he was topless but I never really cared.

Trowa winked at Winner causing the branch to crack beneath us. The Reverend chased us till Newberry Street. 

***

List of Plans

1.Wait by locker

2.Open doors for him while politely smiling

3.Monitor his every move

4.Save him from goons

"Goons?" I repeated as monotonous as I could muster. I didn't want to set up another futile plan.

With one to three unprolific, we had no other alternative but the fourth; the only thing I tried not to worry about was its outcome.

Compared to the others, it seemed normal (since the previous trials were rather half-assed) but we had a bit of a problem.

"Where can we get goons?" Trowa was sitting on the kitchen counter drinking from a can of coke. He tapped his pencil against the cylinder tin thoughtfully.

"We can pay someone." His cheek was bruised from the tree incident whereas my wrist was in a bandage. I seethed silently at our haplessness. 

"My money does not come till next month." I reasoned, at least tried to.

Trowa shrugged. "We'll fix it all up." He sipped his coke and sighed. I had an idea.

Trowa wore a black garb and a black mask to cover his face. I could see through the fabric of his cloth mask that he was not at all pleased by my plan. I had to admit, I was getting agitated and less artistic by the minute. "What am I supposed to do?" Trowa asked dully.

"Scare him to death?"

"Funny." I pushed him out the door. "At least act properly."

Trowa began protesting, stating something about Winner but I was too busy starting up the engine of my car.

We reached the place where Maxwell was walking his dog in a matter of minutes.

I parked the car somewhere inconspicuous, hid behind a tree while Trowa begrudgingly stomped towards the general direction of Maxwell and his dog. I watched as Trowa shoved Maxwell to the wall and grabbed his wrists, pressing himself on the braided baka.

Suddenly I was glad the Reverend couldn't see me, the man obviously scorned me.

I was impressed with my best friend somewhat, regardless of the dog that had begun chewing his pants off, as he cupped Maxwell's ass cheek-what the fuck was he trying to do?! Ravish him then and there?

Maxwell blushed, eyes widening as he struggled to push the 'goon' off. His dog started barking madly and tugging at the 'goon's pant leg-that was my cue.

I 'bravely' ran towards Maxwell, 'casting him to a more safer place', intent on saving him from being molested or whatever was bound to happen to him (maybe break Trowa's remaining bones that were in tact) but instead, I found myself trying to get Maxwell's dog 'Deathscythe' as he calls it, off of Trowa's pant leg.

It barked at Trowa whose pair of pants was literally torn off, halfway to his knees as the open air flaunted his niké boxers.

"I'll handle this." I called over to Maxwell who was in utter shock.

The dumb mutt barked fiercely at me when I tried grabbing Trowa's pants off of its mouth. Maxwell didn't seem pleased I was helping the 'criminal' and was scoffing at me.

"What are you doing?!" He was yelling.

To make matters worse, Trowa lifted up his mask in a coughing fit. (I had forgotten he was allergic to dogs.) He began sneezing, hitching the breath in his throat.

Maxwell cupped a hand over his mouth as I tried to explain.

"This isn't what you think." He was shaking all over.

"Get away from me, you bunch of psychos!" He ran with his dog behind him. I hope he'd forgotten the tree incident. Life is fucked up that way.

Behind me Trowa sneezed and pulled up his pants. "We'll have to-"

"Shut up." I told him.

Tbc..

[1] The Talon's from Smallville! Did anyone notice? *crickets chirp* Ookay...

[2] From A Walk To Remember, when Landon describes how he had tried to French Kiss Angela. Owned by Nicholas Sparks!

[3] I'm allergic to cats, I love dogs... so why not make Trowa allergic to them-? Darn.

Well, It will be Duo's POV on the next chapter, if it's okay with you.

I promise to type faster.. I know this seems like a cross between 'A Walk To Remember', 'Hard Love' and 'Angus, Thongs and Full frontal Snogging' but I like it that way…

I tried making this chapter as funny but it came out whacked.. If you don't like it, tell me. I'm a nice person you know..lol.. And I don't like Relena by the way. Please Review