Disclaimer: It would be kick ass funny if you thought I'd owned them.

A/n:

Thank you so much to all of you who had reviewed. You make my crappy life worth living.

I just watched 'Not Another Teen Movie' three times in a row when I wrote this fic so it may sound a tad movie-based! This is Duo's POV people. Thanks a load for reviewing.

Ooh, and I love She's All That. Freddie Prinze Jr. this is for you!!!!!!!! Haha.. Uhm.. Actually, I got the idea from several books I read last time.. and some movies as well.

Thanks To The Following People who reviewed the previous chapter:

nananashi-silence (er... Duo's not allowed chocolate remember? He's a vegetarian! But good idea nonetheless..teeheehee..)

Zarra Rous  (I love 'She's All That'! )

Arein Urameshi (I'll try to mention Treize as much as Wufei here, I promise!)

Ketsueki Kyoko

Kanberry

Emily Hato (thanks for reviewing each of the chapters!)

Karinka

Here is my 2 cent worth on your story. MAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Er.. nice name.)

Claire Kate

Link Worshiper

Cradlerobber Speedo-kun (Heero's attitude will change in time, I promise!)

White Destiny (Thanks a load for adding me to your fave list!)

SwomeSwan  (Heero does not have a gun...because I am evil..lol)

Evita

Teach Me How To Be Cool

Lesson #5: Teaching Him How To Smile 

[Duo]

I was at the library, scanning the book covers in the religious section. The titles were mostly somewhere along the lines of 'Save Your Faith', 'Ultimate Salvation', basically books that scare the crap out of me because of the apocalyptical content.

All right, you got me. I was thinking about Heero and how weird he was acting lately. The books covers were just there to hide myself from my obsessive stalker—I wish.

Ever since the Kiss in the library, Sex God has been acting... haha... a bit... strange.

All my life he hasn't done so much as bump me in the corridors and glare at me in the cafeteria line when I took his place—he barely acknowledges my existence or spares me a glance and now he's gone through all this trouble just to ask me to Relena's party?

I smell a rodent in the midst, something's up and I can feel it.

I've come to a conclusion that God has planned to punish me for all my misgivings and sins, not forgetting those times I ate chocolate/meat behind my parents' backs and watched MTV at Quat's house.

I had been convinced thus when Heero started being all nicey nicey to me-something that is so peculiar if you ask me. He even drove me to school once, which is a tad freaky because he's only been to my house once.

Either Heero had a kick ass good memory or, he's one of them damn stalkers. (Wishful thinking, don't you think?)

It's almost... overwhelming... too overwhelming in my case, like a dream come to life except that this is just a masterful ploy for me to be sorry of my sins and rethink the pastoral training in God-knows-where.

It scares me how Heero's changed overnight; like in the blink of an eye he goes gaga over me to profess his undying love, it's a tad uncharacteristic of him, quite suspicious.

Hell, it turns me on. (sorry dad)

Anyway... back to the weird bit about SG a.k.a. Heero Yuy.

First, right, he started waiting for me in my locker door alongside Trowa-now don't get me wrong, it's quite polite but after I'd told him I wasn't ready for a relationship yet (more so a date) he still kept on persisting he should carry my books.

I mean, that would totally put us on a 'boyfriend'-'boyfriend' basis, right? Unless it's just purely platonic the way he feels for me, which isn't, because I knew he so totally lusted after me...

So I ran away from him.

Next he began opening doors for me and once, followed me home and watched Quatre and me with Trowa.

(On a tree no less) Quatre was over and trying on my new jumper suit (very pathetic I know) and had been topless then whereas I was reading my FAVORITE book in the whole world: Chicken Soup For The Preteen Soul... Wait hang on, That IS THE ONLY BOOK I'm ALLOWED TO READ!!! So I had no other option to call it my favorite.

Anyway, Trowa was getting all hard in the tree in the front yard (they were sitting on a branch)-probably because of Quatre's shedding of clothes...

 (You know, he told me Trowa was a really sweet guy, actually tried to French Kiss him the night Heero beat the crap out of me but their teeth kind of got stuck together in such a way that he began seeing stars in his eyes literally...aww..how cute..

Some people have all the luck. He's -not the stars but Quatre thank you so much-been asked out to Relena's part too... *grumbles* I'm starting to think there's a conspiracy somewhere out there in the universe, making me fated to live and die alone.)

Right... So where was I?

Oh, Trowa... he was getting all worked up and they were making a racket outside, actually dad did.

He was yelling, "Get out of my tree!" on the top of his lungs.

I reckon he wanted complete silence when he worked on sermons or read the bible... whatever he does in his office/room.

Anyway, Quatre and I were discussing about how I should start plucking my brows (laugh and I will kill you) because that would make me look better (I told him my brows were too thick but he just laughed and told me it was genetic, said that I'd gotten dad's brows.) when we heard dad poking his head from the other window, shouting.

(I rushed out immediately and Quatre had completely forgotten to wear the jumper suit.)

Quatre while I was saying something about my brows (how utterly unethical) started chatting away about Trowa, their kiss, tongues and all (He's making me feel miserable here), how he gave him a rose the other day, opened doors for him and kept saying things like "You're Pretty." And "You've nice hair."

 Something like that anyway, they were 'poetic' as Quatre tells me and I wondered why Heero never told me my hair was pretty, just sniffed at it and grabbed it like a dog. Ooh..

Heero....(drool)... Well.. Not to deviate from the topic or anything but I envy Quatre so much...

His life's simply perfect. Oh and Heero and Trowa fell off the tree by the way and dad chased them till Newberry street. (sigh) Poor Heero.

Why can't my family be normal?

Or why can't I just get my mother's gender instead of my dad's bushy brows? (Life bites, damnit...er...hang on.. I have to stop cursing..)

I remember once, my mother made me wear a sailor outfit when I was six and the kids at pre-school kept laughing their diapies off! I didn't show my face in there for a week. My parents are from another planet, honestly!

There are lots of things wrong in my life.

Like the fact that my wardrobe consists of redundant blue jumpers, my hair's far too long and tied to a braid, I've got bushy brows, my family is weird and religious, I am an outcast and my boyfriend-to-be has psychotic tendencies towards me.

I have no love life and my best friend's sexual desires are surfeited day by day. Life sucks.

One time, I'd asked Quatre what sort of qualities he liked in Trowa (Bang Boy) and he said: Huge.

I asked him what that was about and he said: Huge Everything.

I asked him: Huge Bang covering half of his face and Quatre told me if I was trying to be funny, then I was failing.

Bang Boy Trowa's good-looking in my opinion, (in a bland sort of way) if you count the guy actually scaring your pants off.

Quatre was very very very disappointed when I told him about Bang Boy trying to scare me half to death (then again that won't be such a bad idea now considering how my life sucks) by grabbing my rear and pushing me to the wall.

Lucky my dog, St. Peter a.k.a. as Deathscythe (Pretty nice name eh? He's a killer) was there to save me, no thanks to Hero Yuy.

I told him-not my dog or Heero but Quatre-how it was all a scam to ask me out to Relena's party, which I have been dreading for the past few days. It's kind of sweet. Not. Psychotic if you ask me.

Relena Peacecraft's party.. Ha! She's so skinny if you ask me. And the size of her bassoomas is quite abnormal for her body weight.. hehe.. But back to the party..

Everyone's been invited as long as they had dates and Quatre had one of course-Bang Boy!

(It was my best friend's first time to be asked out whereas knowing my luck and popularity, I probably would not be invited even if I had a date to bring along.. hmm.. maybe I should dress my dog up.. OR Maybe if I cross dressed I could be admitted...)

I'd heard about it from Politician boy (in our usual geek feast in the cafeteria) who heard it from Quatre who heard it from Trowa who heard it from Dorothy who heard it from Relena...

The News has spread so fast, don't you think?

And Heero ever since the annunciation of the majestic Peacecraft Party had been trying to reach me...

I already told him to leave me alone, because if my dad finds out, I'll be off in the next plain trip to Russia for the pastoral thingy.

The attention's fine if you ask me but the guy making his best friend scare me to death so he can save me from him in an indirect wacky sort of ploy? That's very... disturbing... freaky even...

"Duo... You've been staring at that page forever!" Quatre poked me in the shoulder and I sighed.

We were in the library-where Heero had kissed me in front of every frigging person in class.

Did I tell you about detention with him? Ooh~! Let's see, we we're stuck in a room making hot passionate carrot pancakes together! Ha! Thought I was going to say something else, didn't you?

Well, we ignored each other, although it was really hard... what with his really strong arms...biceps...hair..eyes...ass..grr..

"Eew, Duo!" Quatre yanked the book from my grasp. "You're practically drooling on the page!"

He shuddered momentarily before closing the salivated book. I pouted.

"You know Quatre, I'm beginning to think I'd like to be like my Father when I grow up."

I confessed. "Life's easier that way... Or I could have my gender altered when I'm old enough to undergo an operation and be shunned by my family forever... Whichever comes first."

Quatre wasn't listening instead he was looking up. Some best friend he was.

"Quatre you're very helpful did you-Heero..? Yuy, I mean. Uh... What are you..." My knees were wobbly like jell-o and I wanted to run for Mount Rushmore but Heero touched my arm and gripped on it firmly.

I turned to Quatre for help, but what do you know? Great Minds Think Alike!!! Bang Boy chose that very same moment to steal my best friend, take him away from me and he had steered Quatre away, wrapping his arm around his waist. Argh!

I did the next thing I could think of.

I wanted to get back at Heero for making me feel all twisted and almost afraid of him: I kicked him in the balls.

He was like bending over and writhing in agony, his face looking thoroughly pained.

I grinned triumphantly, on the verge of stalking away with a smug look set on my features when Heero, after a quiet swift recovery shoved something into my arms.

It was fancy lavender stationary with a faint daisy scent and folded into a box with a black ribbon to hold it together.

The daisy scent brought back memories from when I was 5 or 6, about this boy who kept tossing paper balls in the front lawn to get my attention and left daisies on the porch.

(I'd told you I was fifteen right? I'm turning 16 in a few months and dad said until then I'm still a child.) They're brainwashing me I tell you!!

I opened the stationary, unfolded the paper, straightening out the soft creases and read the violet formal script, which more or less belonged to Heero.

Without warning [1]

Without warning

as a whirlwind

swoops on an oak

Love shakes my heart

It was short, vague. But I saw through it clearly.

I almost wanted to squeal in happiness and cower in shame. Heero wrote this for me? I'd kicked him in the groin and this is what he gives me?

I looked up at Heero who stared at his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world and smiled shyly.

 He was still groaning from the pain (Ooh, maybe I should ever him a tender rub Wink, wink) and trying to look pleased with me at the same time..

"Thanks." I still held the stationary in my fingers. Its silky texture clung to my skin like velvet and cotton. I reached over for his pants before I knew what I was doing. 

"Are you doing anything tonight?" Heero looked up at me, sincerity burning in his eyes. Or maybe I'd gone insane now.

"Yes." I said. He looked crestfallen and nodded.

"Sorry about the kick in the balls." He nodded once more and I rubbed at the front of his pants, in the... er gender area.

His eyes automatically glared menacingly, and he looked angry beyond words, but his eyes were kind of half-mast so it was difficult to read his expression. (He rarely showed emotion)

"Oh.. god.." I drew my hand away as his knees wobbled uncharacteristically, I think thrusting into my hand.

"I thought it ought to make it feel better."

"Baka." He closed his legs together, glaring once more.

"Excuse me?" Baka sounded like some lap dancer or something. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing your mind can muster."

"Did you just say I'm some stupid lap dancer?"

"Hn." He was about to walk away again when I grabbed his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I muttered darkly. "I didn't quite hear you clearly the first time. Would you please repeat all you've said?" I flipped my braid carelessly to once shoulder like in the movies.

"Hard of hearing?"

Gee, this guy knew how to put you down, didn't he? My face fell, and I huffed, rolling my eyes.

 "Why'd d'you come here anyway? The school's so vast and there are other places to visit, why pick the library where you know I am likely to hang out? I thought I told you to leave me alone?"

"I like to read."

"Yeah, I'm sure." I faced the shelves and pretended to pick up some books for a bit of light reading. "In the religious section? If I'd known you'd be following me around like a little lovesick puppy then I would've locked myself in my locker or something. I don't like stalkers, Yuy."

I was surging with pride I could've glowed if I could.

"You're reading about menopause?" His voice was deadly serious, treading somewhere along the borders of mockery. "That's quite... impressive. I thought you were prohibited to read any other books but the bible."

I blushed, but kept my chin held up high. "You don't know anything about me. And in any way, I'm not in the mood for a fight, if that's what you want, Yuy." I told him.

"You can't fight me to save your life."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!"

I aimed a fist at him, swung hither and thither but he caught my arm.

I glared at him before kicking his leg. I broke free from his grasp and left the library.

I'd spotted Quat and Trowa making out in the corner and I couldn't have been sicker.

As I tried to make my way to the boy's room, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and swung me to *its* shoulder in a very barbaric sort of gesture, [2] as if I were some sack of potatoes or something.

It was Heero again and he was leading me to the janitor's closet.

I kicked and screamed but there was nobody around to save me and even if there were, I doubt anyone would.

I tried biting Heero on the back but before that brilliant idea struck my nutshell, he had already shoved me into the closet with the mops and broomsticks.

"Did you like it?" The lights have been flicked on and there was a funny smell wafting in the air as Heero shut the door behind him with a sickening thud.

I prayed to God he wasn't going to rape me or anything. Then again, that wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

"Like what? Your loitering around and pissing me off to hell and back or your stalking me and nearly scaring me half to death by dressing Bang Boy up to touch me? Well, to be honest, my answers don't differ from the other, because either way I don't like them both."

"The poem."

I raised my brow and crossed my arms, sticking out my tongue.

"Whether I liked it or not is none of your business!" I spat.

"It is." He smirked. "I wrote it."

I turned to the hand that still held the poem and stuffed the paper into my pocket. I mumbled an incoherent slurred, 'yes' under my breath.

"What was that?" Heero's brow creased.

"I said yes you idiot!" I screeched. "And I'm not repeating it again even if you beg it out of me!"

"I wrote it for you." He stroked a thumb across my cheek.

"Well, it does sound kind of vague and to be honest, it's very short." I admitted. "I give it a D+."

"You're difficult, Maxwell." He said monotonously. "You're not worth my time but I keep coming back to you anyhow."

"I've got that effect on people." I said. "You know, it's very hard to have lots of admirers."

"Are you busy tonight?"

I had to blush and nodded frantically, my head bobbing up and down and so did my braid.

He looked amused but did not smile—I noticed he never did. I think he smirked at me the last time in Mr. Craven's office.

He bowed at me (weird that one) and turned to leave, reaching out for the door.

I just couldn't bear to turn him down.

"The house will be left to me tonight-I kind of need to look after it because my parents have this anniversary thing and they're not home till tomorrow morning." I called after him, feeling guilty for attempting to blow him off. (He kind of looked cute though.)

He stopped in mid-stride and cocked his head at me.

"Maybe we can...hang out, you know?" I was blushing like an idiot.

Hang on, I am an idiot. Almost forgot about that. (What with my life an all) Phew.

"If you like to I mean... I'm doing nothing at home but I just kind of need to look after... the house and..."

He was so standing so close to me that his breath touched my face. I went prickly hot all over and my insides churned... His sudden closeness made me go...er... better not say it.

"How's seven?" Heero asked.

"Seven's good." I smiled uneasily-he was getting closer and closer while I fought to keep my stance and inched further and further away.

"Are you afraid of me?" I shook my head wildly.

"No of course, not why in the world would I be?"

He shrugged carelessly and looked so damned composed it seemed impossible to decipher what went in his mind. "Because I've got a gun."

Was this guy crazy?! He's brought a gun to school?!

"Wha-mmpphff!" Here we go again. He pushed me into the wall gently and not forcefully this time, pressing his lips softly into mine. (Sadly no tongue) I barely had the time to react before he pulled away and looked blankly into my eyes.

 He caressed my cheek (seems he loves to do that..aww..hey, I wonder how Quatre's doing? Bet they had more action going on right now.. sigh) fondly. (Kind of like a man and his dog.. Just kidding!)

"Wanna see it?" Was that supposed to be a joke or something? A pun? Heck, I've been raised by a preacher who made me eat all my greens and made me wear jumpers for God's sake (no pun intended), did he know that?

Hardly.

I gulped. "Eep. Don't shoot me.."

Heero shook his head. "I won't." He murmured, burying his nose in my neck. It tickled and I giggled. (Ooh, now I'm a poet!)

He had wrapped his arms around my waist and was quite possessive of me. What a turn on! I didn't care if we were doing that in the middle of the day, in the janitor's closet on a Monday no less.

The daisy scented paper had fallen to my feet and Heero never once stopped nuzzling.

"Stop it.. Tickles you know.." Somehow I wanted to forgive him for everything he's ever done to me.

Yet still, I couldn't bring myself to betray my parents like this ...but just this one time... I swear... and it will be over... It will be all right... I assured myself.

"Seven?" He gave me a chaste peck on the cheek and I nodded. I think I'm falling for this guy already.

***

At lunch I was ecstatic and I told Quatre, Heero and I had a sort of date. Quat confirmed that it was a real date and not a makeshift one because there was a certain venue (for a lil' rendezvous) and a specific time.

I was so happy the whole day I couldn't wait to get home.

Nothing could've spoiled my day except for Politician boy and Relena. Politician boy's boy toy (I am a poet, man, you got to love me.) was visiting town-Treize Kushrenada-this college law student from Harvard[3].

I think the Treize guy was coming today as Politician boy said. (It was a shock he started speaking to me after he'd called me a loser and stated he sent a videotape to E! about my fashion problems. anyway..)

Apparently, they were coming to Relena's party because Treize was a friend of the some guy named Milliardo Peacecraft, yada yada, I wasn't listening half of the time because I had other things one my mind.

Speaking of which, I saw Relena eyeing Heero after gym class (she was with the cool looking dude again resembling a disgruntled parasite) and I had wanted to punch her face and tell her to back off my property... Heero's mine… for the time being... (Hey, my parents leaving town is a once in a life time experience, so let me be happy for once and live without misery for a sec here!) But I don't pick on girls because it is pathetic… (nods head)

Well, Quatre told me not to be into Heero so much, he told me to have more finesse, play hard to get, and wink a lot.

Said I was supposed to pout more often, be all shy around Heero and not comply so much with what he wants because it's a turn on. I told Quatre Trowa's just horny and liked foreplay unlike Heero who was completely under control (no pun intended again) and you know what he did?

He left me to sit with Politician boy who was staring at this picture of a platinum brown haired guy ten years older than him.

I decided to talk to him for there was nothing else left to do besides talk to my tofu about Heero. Sadly, I had eaten them all. Tofu, not Heero.

"Hi."

"..."

"Hi!!!!!!"

"..."

"H-"

"Get away from me, Maxwell."

I frowned and with lightning reflexes snatched the picture away from him... Ooh, not bad but I have to say... Heero's far more... god like? Hey, he's a sex god after all.

"Hey, he's the Harvard guy right?"

Politician boy grunted before nodding. "Give it back or I'll pound you to bits."

"Yeah, I'm sure." I snorted, scrutinizing the picture. "Hey, is he one of them damned frat guys?"

His brow shot up. "No, he is not a member of any fraternity." He was losing his temper. Hehe. "In fact, he's the most responsible, considerate-"

"Yeah, yeah spare me." I rolled my eyes. "I cannot believe you actually think he's all that when you're away with him 24/7. For all we know, he could be doing someone this very moment." And by the then Quatre had come back to retrieve the book he'd forgotten. Wufei a.k.a. politician boy was scowling at me.

"Hey, Quat I was just messin' around!" I tried to get him back here; I didn't like speaking to Politician boy. Too much politics, fraternities and fluff. He (Quat) frowned at me and I pulled on at his sleeve while Wufei (damn, I'm starting to call him by his real name now) took the picture and hid it away.

"Please!" I begged. Quat sighed and sat back down. He had a piece of paper in his hand and fluttered it in the air to my face.

"Hey, what's that?" Quat went smug. It was a scoring system for kisses and so on. [4]

1. Holding hands

2. Arm around

3. Good night kiss

4. Kiss lasting over three minutes without breath

5. Open mouth kissing

6. Tongues

7. Upper body fondling-outdoors

8. Lower body fondling-indoors (in bed)

9. Below waist activity

10. The full Monty

"So, what's Bang-er Trowa like?" I asked curiously. Quatre blushed furiously as he snatched the paper from me. "Nine. He's good." He whispered. "I think French guys are better at it. They change rhythm more."

"What do you mean?" I told you, being confined in the sacred dome of my father's fascist regime was so sad. I listened intently; this kind of education may be useful later on.

"You know how some people get really excited and just sort of kiss with the same pressure? Well, he varies the pressure. Sometimes it's hard and then middley."

"Wow."

"Duo!!" Quatre was sheepish now.

Politician boy eyed the paper and borrowed it in the mean time. "How about your

Treize there?" I played with my brows suggestively and the pony tailed hot heated Chinese guy crossed his arms.

"I told you he is not doing anybody but me."

I snickered. Ahem. "I meant, how's he at.. you know, things?"

"Ten." My eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

This guy was getting more than I am, well Quatre is too apparently... and he was just sixteen or fifteen.. Whatever... that's not the point.. Life sucks.

"Doesn't that defy some law in the constitution or something?" I asked curiously. "I mean, he's practically a decade older than you, more or less the age of an uncle and... Isn't there a law against molesting underage teens?"

Politician boy went ballistic and went for my braid. The next thing I knew, I was hissing in pain because his grip was so damn hard.

I was kind of aiming my fist at him and had managed to punch his face. Eventually Quatre broke the two of us apart before we made a scene.

I sighed rather arrogantly.

"Don't mess with the braid, man." I flipped my braid once more to my shoulder.

We soon forgot about that as we ate lunch and I daydreamed about Heero.

"How about Yuy?" Wufei was leaning closer secretively. I could see he had finished eating "I heard he's after you." After me? What, now he's a member of the Mafia or something?

Quatre seemed to be interested as well. I tried to act smug, as if I were hiding something they didn't know and I wouldn't like to tell, but the look that came across me went more like: cornered rat instead of 'cool'.

I couldn't just say 3 could I? My 6 wasn't even acknowledged last time! Ahh!! They're closing in on me.. What will I do?!  What will I say?!

"I think the bell just rang." Real smooth, Duo. Real smooth.

***

Ooh, lookie! Wuffie's boy toy picked him up from school today and as such, he was spared the torment of riding the tacky, dorky yellow bus.

I met the Treize person (nice guy, even shook my hand) and he and Wufei were all love dovey to the car. Treize had apparently bought Wuffie a bouquet of flowers, some chocolates and a new personality. (Ha! I wish!)

I told Quatre, "That could've been Heero and me in the car."

We were watching them drive off before heading inside the bus.

"What, practically ten years older than the other?"

"Ha. Ha. Funny. At least try to be more supportive of me and Heero here."

Quat shrugged. "I am supportive."

"I think Trowa's hugeness has gotten hold of you, Quat." I told him as we sat on the sticky vinyl leather of the bus. "Now you've got HUGE sarcasm."

Quatre blushed for some reason I did not know.

Why can't I have (a) normal friend(s)?

***

Mom and Dad were starting up the car when I'd gotten home and told me to take out the trash, feed the dog, (I had to sing to him because he disliked the food, even told him it was gourmet *the dog not my dad* ) etc...

Mom had left me some pasta in the oven and money on the kitchen counter so pretty much my expenses were taken care off and I had nothing to worry about.

Except that I had two hours to tidy the house, shower, get dressed, pick out something to wear and blow-dry my hair (last time it went all sticky in Heero's car)

(It never occurred to me Heero might be sixteen to be able to drive by the way.)

"Lock all the doors and keep all the fornicators out." Dad said as he and mom had driven off. "Do something sensible and don't forget to pray for world peace."

I flinched.

St. Peter was not cooperating when my parents left. The dog refused to eat his dinner at 5:30 pm and was pissing me off really bad by humping things around the house (horny!).

I think it was about time I introduced him to the couple next-door's poodle. I had to drag him (Deathscythe) out of the house and tie him up to the doghouse so he'd stop messing with dad's shaggy carpet.

I'd taken the trash out earlier and Quatre even offered to help me (we took the bus together) but it was my chore so I told him to 'run off' with Bang Boy or something.

He said, "Good luck. You'll need it."

What does he mean by that?

All at once I tried to run around the house, mopping and sweeping-you get the gist of it right?

After which I took a shower after shoving all my stuff under the bed. So there I was, singing 'It's Just Porn Mum' [5] with the water splashing against my face when the doorbell rings.

(Yikes, it was seven already!!)

If it's a burglar of some sort I had shampoo to defend myself with.

I shut off the water and rushed down the stairs, (never mind that I was clad only in a towel) and brought along a bottle of Vidal Sassoon with me just in case. The pounding on the door drummed louder and I positioned the bottle and squeezed.

"Drop your-Heero?!" I had swung open the door so hard it slammed against the wall, the air blowing against me like in 'Gone With The Wind'.

Heero was standing there, kind of gaping at me and red in the face, clutching a bouquet of daisies in one hand, a bag of popcorn and some videotapes in the other.

And my belated kinetic energy caused me to spurt out the shampoo.

Peachy.

"Argh!" Heero's face was smeared with shampoo now and he was wiping furiously at his eyes. "What are trying to do, Maxwell?! Blind me?!" He looked angry beyond words. My first date was not going as planned.

"I.. I thought you were a burglar trying to break in!!" I stammered, frantically trying to find something to clear his vision-aha! Towel.

I grabbed it triumphantly, grinned and stroked against Heero's face to wipe the whitish gooey substance off. "I'll get if off, don't ya worry!!" (I'll sue Vidal Sassoon if Heero ends up blind!!)

Heero blinked around rapidly and his eyes slowly wandered down my thighs.

I burned red, no really, flamed red.

"I...uh...I..." He looked away. "This is for you." He tossed the flowers to me and I caught them with precision, dropping the bottle of shampoo in the process.

"Is it a bad time?" He looked around for my parents, Pa specifically (without looking at my thighs, you pervs!).

I grabbed the towel from his grasp and covered myself promptly, feeling weird.

"No, come in. Not at all a bad time." I tried not to sound too eager as I picked up the aforementioned bottle and scampered to the general direction of the staircase.

"It's wonderful to see you. Uh.. I'm kind of not decent right now. Look around the house if you want, I'll go get dressed and we can... you know, hang out."

"I rented a few movies." Heero informed me, back still turned.

I nodded, blushing, the wind stiffening my legs somewhat as Sex God's eyes traveled down the length of me when he glanced back.

Abruptly, he turned and nodded. I felt so stupid then.

"I… I'm gonna get dressed all right?!"

I thought if I'd spent more time there I would have melted under his gaze.

***

My hair was dripping wet by the time I'd jogged down the stairs wearing my usual jumper. But there was kind of a difference with that particular jumper, it being the newest and all, though not at all unique in itself for it looked like all others.

I wore a black shirt beneath it and my necklace with the crucifix. I thought it went with the outfit and no; I did not wear it to scare Heero off and call him a fornicator.

Heero was looking around the house, the pictures on the mantle and the tacky oak furniture with the cherub figurines with my picture in the sailor suit (damn, I thought I'd put that away).

"Hey." I was out the doorway and he looked startled at first before he took in a shallow breath and nodded.

"Hello." Always so formal that guy.

And then St. Peter-the dog mind you-trotted towards Heero and he (Heero) patted his head affectionately (why can't he *Heero, people, Heero not the dog!* do that to me? Pout).

St. Peter nuzzled his nose into Heero's crotch and started sniffing. Why that no good, backstabbing son of a b-tch! (Wait, he is one, isn't he?!) And he calls himself St. Peter.. wait, he doesn't'. My parents do.

If he weren't my dog, I would have killed him in a fit of rage by the way.

You could see the utter shock registering in Heero's eyes as he tried to push the damn dog (I swear I thought I tied him awhile ago somewhere) away but did St. Peter comply?! No! In fact, he growled into his pants and nudged him by the nose to a sitting position in the couch! I had to move in.

"Bad dog! Bad dog!" I pulled on the leash and lead him to my room but the dog kept its teeth on Heero's pants in the crotch area (luckily he didn't have rabies or bite any fleshy part) that I had to pull real hard to get him away.

After locking him (the dog) inside my bedroom safely, I joined Heero in the living room.

He was staring down at his ruined pants. "I am really sorry about that."

"I'm sure I can replace the pair of pants." He reassured me. "And the scars will heal in time."

Was that a joke? Whoah.

"Do you need to change?" Obviously. "I've got some spare jumper, if you need to."

Wow, so gay.  He shook his head.

"I've spandex shorts beneath anyway." Ooh!! Lemme see! Lemme see!! It took all my willpower to not have a nosebleed.

"So, what are we watching?" I asked casually, gulping as he zipped his fly open. Oh, God...

"Horror movies." He removed his pants and tossed them on the couch carelessly. His legs were quite sinewy and his you know what?

One word: BIG!

"Your parents aren't home?" I shook my head and scanned the videotapes he'd rented, better to get my eyes off of him.

The tapes were horror flicks like 'Halloween', 'Scream' and 'I Always Know What You Did Last Summer' . Ooh... Freddie Prinze Jr.

"My dad doesn't like you very much." I blurted. "He thinks you're bad company. He tells me to stay away from you."

Heero shrugged. "I don't blame him. He's right." He turned on the VCR. "Why don't you do what he says?" I blushed and shrugged.

"How about your mother?"

"She thinks you're okay." Heero chuckled and patted down next to him. He'd switched on the television already and the credits were starting.

"What do you think?" Heero handed me some popcorn as I sat down (a feet next to him).

"About me, I mean."

"Uh...You're... uhm.." He was inching closer and he was looking at me with his Prussian blue eyes, which made me feel like the most beautiful thing in the world.

"I.. like you." The movie was starting and I pretended to watch.

I kept my eyes on the screen and reached out for the popcorn-somehow our hands met and Heero had entangled our fingers through the oily buttery bag. I lifted my hand out and sat a good distance away from him.

I felt the eyes of my father behind me.

Heero moved away in return, and the other end of the couch lifted at the absence of his weight. He walked over to switch off the lights and sat back next to me.

We didn't speak for at least 20 minutes and I watched totally engrossed, as the movie got to its gory bits (we were watching Scream) and Neve Campbell's friend was about to be killed, trying all the way to ignore Heero's closeness and the guilt that washed over me like a tidal wave.

I hope my parents were having fun 10000000 miles away somewhere.

Then Heero pulled the old yawn move, you know, hand around the shoulder. Ahh... And I thought life was bliss for approximately 5 seconds before my stomach churned.

I hadn't eaten any dinner.

"Hungry?"

I nodded and he paused the VCR for a moment. The lights flicked on and I frowned as the romantic vibes dissipated. I pinched my stomach for it. "Oww!" Damn.

Heero gave me a strange look.

"I mean, are you hungry? I've got some pasta in the oven. I'll heat it up if you want." I am such a wuss.

"Pasta will be great." Heero said.

I smiled and hurried to the kitchen to fix dinner up as Heero shut off the VCR and television. Why can't my life be ordinary?

***

I poked my head in the fridge and looked for something acceptable to eat: there were bags of tea, a yellow-green type of water (don't look at me, I'm a preacher's kid), some vegetables and my science project that had accumulated molds from the weeks it had endured in the hellish fridge.

I made a mental note to take that one out later on.

I turned to Heero who had his hands on his pockets. What surprised me was that, he was staring at me, and his eyes never wavered from mine or looked away in shame or embarrassment.

I found myself grinning.

"Would it be okay for you to drink water?"

Heero nodded. When the pasta was ready, I slipped mittens over my hands to draw it out from the oven.

I took out the plates and silverware and set them on the table while Heero watched me intently. (Some help he was.) Correct me if I'm wrong, I think he was staring at my ass half of the time.

I flipped off the foil off the pasta and shuddered just staring at the alien(ish) green goo on the kitchen sink.

I was making Heero eat this? I was about to throw the damned thing to the garbage bin when I felt arms wrap around me from behind. Heero brought his arm up and had inserted a daisy into my hair (don't ask how he'd gotten the daisies, I dunno myself. I thought I left it somewhere in my room).

He breathed heavily and there was a prickling sensation on my neck as he pushed back my damp braid and kissed the skin there, one arm around my waist.

"You look beautiful."

"Hmm..." Go on...

I dumped the rest of the pasta on a serving bowl as he kissed me more.

***

Heero was forking the pasta in his plate. It was vegetarian pasta, equipped with the broccoli and the rest of the greens mom loved.

If Heero did not like this, there's always the dog.. Bye bye St. Peter... He does not have rabies people. (My Dog)

"I take that you don't like it." I said.

Heero looked up guiltily and shook his head. "It's lovely." He hesitated, then began stuffing pasta in his mouth and almost choked. "Shimply. Lshovelshly." I had to laugh.

"You don't have to lie, Heero."

He gulped the water down and stared at me blankly. "Why, don't you?"

"I'm a preacher's kid, Heero." I explained. "I don't and can't lie not because I choose to but because I was built that way. I dunno why though." I pushed away my plate.

If ever Heero was going to kiss me tonight (I don't think I'm hoping to anymore) he'd probably get this weird vegetable aftertaste on his tongue like I was. (shudder)

"Does your dad know I'm coming over?" He was choking again and had a hard time trying to formulate the words.

"Well...no."

"What will you tell him if he asks?" He pounded a fist on his chest, coughing.

"The truth but I'll be vague."

Heero put down his fork-he didn't seem too enthralled with me now and he didn't look thrilled with the pasta either. He looked sick, if anything.

"I would like to offer something else for food but that's all we have." I admitted. "We're vegetarians."

He consumed the water in his glass easily, coughing for the third time. 

"Are you done eating?" That took me by surprise and I snapped my head up. "Are you finished yet?"

He swallowed hard as if there was something in his throat and he looked quite blue in the face if you don't mind my saying so.

I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Do you still want to watch the movie?"

I shook my head. "Not really... They give me the jitters."

"Lets go to the front porch, Duo." The first time he ever said my first name.. Aww...

"I'll fix this up first-" Heero was on his feet and pulling me up. "I have to-"

"Later." He whispered and I could feel my world go dizzy at his intoxicating scent. This was the first instance I'd been really, and I mean really, close to him tonight. And déjà vu overtook me as I recalled how he'd fallen on top of me in the bus. It was like magic weaved into a grotesque dream.

We sat in the front porch, after I grabbed a blanket from my room (St. Peter was asleep) and wrapped it around Heero and myself because we were cold. We sat there, huddled closely and Heero's fingers entwined with mine. He told me to stare at the stars and pick out any shape.[6]

All right, fine, I lied. I'm a terrible liar and I don't intend to lie more often than I do right now because that would profane my family and me. Heero and I sat in the porch with a good distance in between us while I tried not to freeze or sneeze (kiss me I'm such a poet), shivering within my blankie.

Heero looked as stoic as usual without a hint of emotion in his gorgeous face and I wondered how I had gotten from watching him to actually being in his company. But the star thing, he really asked me what shape I wanted.

"A heart." I said. Then he raised my hand up, guiding it with his own and pointed to a cluster of stars, which formed a heart.

"How did you do that?"

"Pick another shape."

"All right, Houdini. Hmm...How about an octopus?"

After Heero and I had stopped stargazing, we started conversing instead (well, does me talking nonstop fall under conversation? I hope so.).

We told each other anything and everything under the sun (actually only I did); I told him about the boy who kept leaving daisies in my front porch and the paper balls in the front lawn while he looked mildly surprised at this.

"Do you think I'm weird?" I had to know what he thought of me.

A hesitant pause and then, he looked up the sky before turning to me. "No."

"Do others think I'm weird?"

Another pause. He was having a hard time just admitting the truth. "No."

"Are you lying to me?"

Heero spoke inaudibly. "Yes."

"Why does everyone think that way?" I wasn't really speaking to him, more to myself, blaming the world for my misery. "Am I not normal? Am I a monster?! A.. A freak of nature? Is my braid too long? Too tight like Politician boy's?"

Heero looked mildly surprised. He reached out for me and I was startled to find myself exactly where I wanted to be in the first place-right in his arms.

"It's superficial." He murmured kissing the top of my head that had been supported by his shoulder. "Just because you don't stereotype like the rest of them, they cast you out from their normalcy. They're slaves to fashion and they don't have their own identities because they all act the same, placing themselves on pedestals because they think themselves superior to others. But you," He made it a point to poke me in the chest as he tilted my chin up to face him.

"You're not like them. You're unique and special. You don't follow the dress code (ouch, is that an insult?) and don't care what others think of you or your family. (I do to!)They're the ones who're weird, if you ask me."

Wow, Dr. Phil?! It's been the longest thing he's ever said to me since forever. I shut up for once and listened to the sound of the rustling tree branches.

They lulled me to sleep, drawing me mercilessly to pinnacle of drowsiness.

Heero wrapped his arms around me and I didn't care if the first date was moving too fast-for all I know, it could be my last. (I truly am the next Shakespeare) You know, fast, last? No-nothing?

"I'm sorry."

"Elaborate, please." I know it was demeaning to ask Heero, but heck, if he was gonna apologize (again) for his little plans with Trowa that had gone whacko then, he better have something to say if he wants me forget it all. I yawned.

"For watching you from the tree.."

"Uh-huh." I was hugging his arm comfortably. Might was well go to sleep after his apologetic speech. "Go on."

"That's it."

"That's...kind of short. How about saying sorry for making Trowa touch my ass!? Or you carrying me like a sack of potatoes in the corridor at school?" I frowned at him. The blanket had gone down to my sides and I was shivering.

"Are you cold?"

"That's not the point." I said. "I want a decent apology now!"

"Everything was Trowa's idea." Oh...Well... Uh... "Except for the poem, and the bag of potatoes."

For a minute there I didn't know what to say. My cheeks colored like the tomatoes my mom used to plant in the backyard.

"Come here." Heero picked up the blanket and covered my shaking form with it. "You're quite odd, you know."

I glared really hard but Quatre said it kind of made my brows look thick so I tried not to overdo it too much.

"In a good way." He assured me. I smiled as he held my hand in his. His palm was warm and damp with sweat, (How'd he manage not to freeze with hypothermia anyway? He was practically in his shorts!) rough and gentle at the same time.

I looked at the stars, like shiny dots glittering against fabricated velvet, the moon the ultimate source of silver like an ethereal halo in the heavens.

I wanted this moment to be imprinted in my mind forever, in my heart as well. I haven't felt anything like this ever before; I didn't need to pretend at all.

"I love the stars." I found myself saying. "I'd always dreamed of flying. I know it sounds strange but as a kid I'd always wanted to fight for truth, beauty, freedom and love.[7] I would fight against these really cool machines out in space and defend people, if you know what I mean."

"Who would watch your back?" I was sorta startled Heero spoke because he never did ever since we started our lil' snuggling session in the porch. Ha, in my dreams!

"I dunno."

"Are you gay?" I looked into his eyes and there was something really vague in them, making me unsure of what to say.

I coughed and swallowed at the lump in my throat. "I haven't really thought about it. People have this tendency to get annoyed by my presence alone so I never really had a chance to bond with anyone except for Quatre. But we're friends and I don't like him in that way. I don't like girls or boys really. I haven't found myself attracted to anyone but-"

"Me?" I found this very haughty and egotistic indeed. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when Heero tilted my chin up to plant his lips on mine.

"Me too." He murmured before I'd even begun to speak. I smiled at him and he told me it was the most beautiful sight in the whole galaxy. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up.

"Do you plan to go to Relena's party?"

"I'm not sure." I sighed. "I don't have a date and I don't know exactly how to act in a party. I just might mess things up and make a fool of myself. And I'm not invited either way."

"What if somebody did though?"

I shrugged and his arms wrapped around me tighter. "That would be sweet although I'm not allowed to date."

"Are you prohibited from hanging out as well?"

"Well, since you put it that way... I don't think so."

"Will you come with me, then?"

I turned to him, surprised. "You're asking me out to Relena's Party?!" I squealed in glee, wrapping my arms around him. "I've never had anyone ask me out before!! And the answer's yes! Of course I would!!"

He kissed me on the forehead again. "But... I don't know the proper behavior at a party, and I'm not allowed to drink if I have to..."

He pressed a finger on my lips, silencing me. "I'll teach you-"

"How to be cool?"

"Yes," He chuckled softly. "-If you teach me how to-"

"Smile?" I offered. He nodded as I traced the lines of his mouth.

"Deal?"

"Deal." I hugged him, happier than I've ever been that Monday night.

When I went to bed at 9:00 (way past my curfew), after Heero kissing me nonstop (we had a bit of number 1-8) and watching him drive off, I was sure about two things.

1-Heero was interested in me as I was in him and 2-My dog may have peed somewhere in my room.

Life is beautiful. Hey, isn't that some movie? Heh, I don't care. I think I love Heero Yuy.

Tbc..

[1] Lovely Poem by Sappho.

[2] I had this idea from an LOTR A/L fic I'd read when Aragorn kept on carrying Legolas on his shoulder. *aww*

[3] I was watching Orange County the other day on video. *shrug*

[4] From the book 'Confessions of Georgia Nicholson/Angus Thongs And Fullfrontal Snogging'

[5] Fabulous song by a group called 'Trucks'

[6] From The Movie 'A Beautiful Mind'.

[7] From The Movie 'Moulin Rouge'.

Oh and one more thing, Duo's kind of joking about eating the dog here..

===

Okay people, I need to know if it would be okay to put in Trowa's POV next, since he's the best friend anyway. This is quite shounen-ai, I know, but I assure you all, that there would be er... lemon... some time in this fic... Anyway, 3x4 fans do not despair cause the next chapter's all for every 1x2 and 3x4 fans alike. Well... What do you think? I'm running out of funny (rather stale) ideas. Please review and make me happy. (lol) TTFN!