And On Tonight's Show – What The Hell Happened During The Break!?
The chirpy, ever so slightly sleazy music that plays as the camera pans over the set of 'The Ryouji Kaji Show' is out of place with the set's somewhat battered appearance. Actually, battered is putting it nicely. The set looks like Godzilla has been break dancing on it, while drunk.
There are several possible reasons for the damage:
Perhaps the Spanish Inquisition dropped in for a quick chat and a spot of mayhem.
Kaji may have hired a new interior decorator who only recently made a career transition from industrial demolition and still gets the two confused occasionally.
An intensely localized hurricane is atmospherically unlikely but would certainly explain the damage.
Kensuke might even have finally managed to hack into NERV's security systems before deciding to visit his friend Shinji when he took Unit 00 out for a joyride.
Or maybe Asuka threw a minor hissy fit and Rei was briefly annoyed about something. That's the most likely explanation and is, in fact, pretty much what happened.
A large portion of the lighting rig has collapsed onto the centre of the stage (right where Kaji would've been standing, funnily enough, but that's probably just a coincidence). It brought various spotlights down with it when it fell, some of which exploded or caused small electrical spot fires as their power cables tore loose. Curiously, several other quite large pieces of lighting equipment have also fallen off the rig by themselves and the pattern of their impacts happens to form a trail that leads right to the door of Kaji's emergency escape hatch, sorry 'personal exit'. Kaji, who would probably be safer injecting himself with Ebola than hosting the show (or would at least be ensured of a cleaner death than anything he might receive at the hands of Asuka and Rei) evidently found some new way in which to irk Miss Ayanami, which resulted in her putting her AT field to a fairly creative new use.
In addition to this there are several small holes in the floor, along with one rather larger one in a wall, courtesy of one Asuka Langley Sorhyu (who else). The small holes are from where she tried to stamp on the foot of a security guard who got 'fresh' (he said hello) and missed, and the one in the wall was caused when she finally caught him and drop-kicked the poor S.O.B through the aforementioned wall.
The ceiling sports a surprisingly attractive pattern of 9mm bullet holes, caused by Misato firing her sidearm into the ceiling to warn off another frisky security guard. That guard, along with several others, had to be replaced during the break. Misato's admirer was dragged off while murdering 'Lady in Red' (Misato is wearing her NERV ops jacket) at the top of a voice rougher than industrial strength sandpaper. She was later charged with substance abuse. Another travelled to a new postcode (in Australia) via Asuka's right foot and a third was carried out on a stretcher while moaning "OH GOD NOT THOSE GLASSES! PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT THE GLASSES!!!!" but no one feels very sorry for him. What kind of an idiot challenges Gendou to a staring contest anyway?
Other than that though, everything is fine – if your definition of fine is that the apocalypse probably won't happen before the next ad break because Asuka and Rei don't want to mess their hair up while the cameras are running. Oh, and Shinji is curled up underneath his seat muttering, "the horror, the horror," but that's okay, he's always doing that. Audience casualties, incidentally, have been quite surprising – none. Specifying that all audience volunteers should be screened for quick reaction times, Rincewind like levels of self-preservation instinct and a healthy ability to duck is perhaps the sole semi-intelligent decision of Kaji's soon-to-be- painfully-but-probably-fortunately-for-everyone-else-cut-short life.
So if Kaji looks just a little strained, and if that trademark bounce up to the stage looks just a little less sprightly than usual, it's understandable. Especially since he's just found out that he has voided his life insurance by baiting the 1st and 2nd children, which qualifies as 'culpable disrespect for one's own health and wellbeing' under the terms of the contract. You have to wonder what the man is on as he announces "Welcome back to The Kaji Ryouji Show!" in a voice as chirpily vibrant as ever.
DiscWorld reference.