You know the drill, kids. I don't own these characters. Thank you for your reviews.
Fluffiness, sappiness and sugary sweet shounen-ai/ some yaoi 1x2, some 3x4, 13x5 and one side shoujo-ai D/R ensue.
Teach Me How To Be Cool:
Lesson #8: The Reverend Leaves
[Duo]
I had a dream again. Darkness wrapped tightly around me and I was standing on what seemed to be jell-o or if not, something soft to be considered as such.
I can't say that it was difficult to breathe because I wasn't even aware If I had been, and at the absence of light, I kind of grew afraid so much that my knees shook and my teeth clattered together.
But then Heero's face appeared before me and he was stoic as usual and his expression was indefinable. I opened my mouth to speak but he had reached out behind him and asked, "Do you want to touch my tail?"
He pointed at the hamster-ish tail behind him and everything fell into complete darkness again as I fell off of my bed with a thud.
I groaned inwardly, blocking out the sunlight from my eyes as my body hit the floor. Shaking my head wildly, hair flapping at my sides, I blinked around, dazed. I tried to recall my dream. Heero had a tail? I shuddered. Well that was weird if you ask me. It reminded me of Hee-chan, the hamster. Maybe it was a sign that I should change its name.
Suddenly I remembered Heero had spent the night in my room.
I shot up from the floor only to find the darned hamster in the warmth-faded sheets instead of my beloved Sex God.
I rolled my eyes as I picked the critter with my fingers, careful not to rouse its sleeping form.
Hee-chan had caused me a load of trouble last night and as much as I'd like to toss it out the window, the hamster reminded me of Heero and somehow the urge to discard it is no longer there.
I missed Heero so bad (even if I'd just seen him last night). I think my lips are starting to pucker up because I haven't kissed him since. (Maybe I have this kiss withdrawal going on)
Even if we've known each other for barely a week and he'd scared me to death with those psychotic intentions towards me and I know for a fact that everything else is moving so fast, I think I love him purely.
No, I am madly in love with him. Really I am.
What?
There wasn't any school that day and I was glad. But not too glad because that would mean a day of chores.
I am the work slave around here so pretty much the whole day I've got no time to laze around.
I too, will not able to see Heero for the day. Damn. Next thing you know, my lips will resemble that of a goldfish's.
I set Hee-chan down by the bedside table where he curled up into a cute little ball.
I dressed into my usual jumper (life bites) outfit and brushed my hair before tying it into a braid. By the time I had gotten down to the kitchen, my mother was taking luggage out of the house.
"Vacation?" I asked her as I grabbed a fruit from the basket on the coffee table. "Where we going?"
Mom sighed and she brought her arm up to pat my cheeks. "Not we, Duo. Your father." She looked pained.
I tried not to smile at the thought. There was a god after all. Well, besides Heero anyway.
My dad was going away and I couldn't be any happier.
"Where?" I hoped it was really far too.
"The pastoral training seminar for-"
I let my thoughts trail on, just making them wander about. Maybe I could use the time Dad was away to be Heero, minus the blonde bimbo of course.
"All right?"
I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "Wha?" I had totally lost track of what mom has said these past few minutes.
"Don't worry, he'll be back for us."
I was so confused I had no clue what she was talking about.
"Sure." I told her anyway as I went to the living room where St. Peter was sitting gloriously on.
I munched on my fruit happily but noticed a familiar pair of shorts underneath the dog.
"Hey horn-St. Peter, what have you got there, eh?"
I pulled it out through much refusal in the dog's part and triumphantly held it up so it were out of reach. "Hey, isn't this Heero's?"
The dog growled fiercely and showed its teeth. I let my eyebrow rise and stared down at him.
"You caught him when he tried to get out, didn't you horn-Deathscythe?"
The dog still growled and barked. "Well, I guess we like the same guy. Too bad he isn't your specie though."
I tossed the pair of spandex shorts for him to chew on, snickering.
St Peter/Deathscythe lovingly buried his nose in it and growled. Honestly, that dog is weird.
But he's lucky to be allowed to eat meat while I'm going on a vegetarian diet every puny second of my life.
That's why I have this darned feminine frame and Heero keeps calling me a princess... (Or maybe my mom buys the dog vegetarian dog food?)
I tried not to laugh as I imagined Heero driving home in his underwear... Ooh, he really is a sex god, his sex appeal breaches down to sub-species like my dog for instance.
My dad appeared from the kitchen to sit across me.
"Take care of the house, son." He told me softly. I wanted to smirk, "Hell yeah." But I figured my father wouldn't appreciate that so I nodded instead.
"Make sure that the locks are secured each night."
I nodded. The better for Heero not to leave when I invite him over.
"And do not let Mr. Yuy come in even if he pleads so."
I crossed my fingers behind my back, nodding innocently. Where was Dad going anyway? Mars? I hope Pluto though.
"I promise, pa."
"I'll be away for awhile and I'd like you to stay away from Mr. Yuy." Dad admonished. "He's bad company, I tell you. He's corrupted your mind and filled you with vulgar words and spiteful behavior-you can't be too careless around those prodigal folk."
I stared down at my shoes as he continued. "Heero just wants to get into your pants, as you teenagers would say it."
He winced before licking his bottom lip and sighing, "And being that you two are both boys, it's a sin-it's against the bible to have non platonic relations with people of the same gender. I know for a fact that you don't like to displease Jesus because he is our father in Heaven and it's not you I'm worried about, it's that boy Yuy. ."
Please just get it over with and go away. (You know the rules around this place are so damn unbearable. Last time in my random mood swings I had actually defied my dad. He was going on about how I always said things like, 'damn.' 'shit.' And the despicable... word 'hell.' What I did was roll my eyes and flipped my braid to the side. I guess I was doing all the little people a favor, standing up for myself and all, but I don't mean the dwarves, just the vulnerable people.)
"Yes." I said though I didn't know if I myself believed it.
So it was wrong after all. My father didn't just loathe my 'boyfriend' but thinks it's a blasphemy to his religion to have me be with Heero.
He didn't have to bring Jesus here for crying out loud, it made his little lecture even more like a guilt trip for me.
I swallowed hard, my stomach churning as dad regarded me with eyes that could've sliced me to a thousand-no a million pieces. For once I was glad he didn't really know what was going on with me and Heero. Being the gullible sod he was (I am such an ingrate) he thinks Heero kind of... forced himself on me, which to be honest, turns me on. (hehe)
The dog was growling once more and had brought his little 'chew toy' outside, dangling the aforementioned 'chew toy' on its mouth.
I felt like kicking that damned dog for exposing the spandex to us like that.
Dad caught my eye in confusion, well at least tried to.
"Whose pair of spandex is that?"
I couldn't very well say it was mine because it would mean I was wearing 'gallant' (in my father's simplicity's perspective) accessories other than my jumper suit.
"...Is that Ma calling on you?" I asked him. "Yeah, I think she is... Well, you better trundle along now.. Don't want to get late for that seminar, right?"
By then I was pushing him out the front door. "I'll miss ya!!" Hn. I'm sure... ooh, great now I'm saying 'Hn.' Like my boy friend!! Woohooo!
I shut the door behind me and rushed up the stairs. I wanted to forget what Dad just said. So it's a sin now? Mom said love knew no gender-who was I to believe?
Great, maybe I should go to a tarot reader and ask about my future. You know I wasn't an urban terrorist in my previous life, what did I do to deserve such a life?
I sighed as I threw myself once more back to bed, placing the fruit I'd been eating next to Hee-chan on the bedside table.
I heard the car pull out of the driveway and my mom's sad voice saying, "You take care of yourself."
How I heard her voice so distinct like that, I do not know. Then again, there are lots of odd things happening around this household so I wouldn't be surprised. (Like how my 'pets' seemed to be so horny for instance.)
I hope to God dad wouldn't take care of himself. (I am so bad.) If I were him, I'd fake an accident or have a real one instead. A broken rib or foot would be good. Maybe if he had been on a coma... Hmm...
I think dad is leaving for good.
I poked my head out the window and saw my mom actually crying.
I shrugged and actually felt like crying myself too. You know sometimes parents make you feel like hitting them and crying over them at the same time? Well I had that feeling.
Although dad made my childhood crap, made me wear blue jumper suits with no distinction whatsoever, hated my boyfriend, disallowed me to watch MTV and listen to other genres of music but classical, hell he's still my... father (I think) no matter what.
And it says in the bible that you should honor your father and mother. Great now I'm getting all holy and stuff.
Hmm. Maybe I should switch religion.
In a few minutes when I had finally decided to wake Hee-chan up, mom bounded into my room and sat on the farthest corner of my bed.
Dad had been gone for a few minutes already and I was enjoying his time away from us very much. I was patting Hee-chan's little furry head with my finger, murmuring something below my breath gleefully.
"Son, do you miss father?" Mom's voice was soft. The guy was barely gone for an hour and my mother missed him? Whoa.
I asked her, "Who?" Then she cried so hard I gave her St. Peter/Deathscythe's bowl to cry in.
The afternoon had been boring, the house almost empty because mom was staying silent as ever, knitting in one corner of the living room, crying every now and then while I played 'fetch Heero's spandex' with my dog.
I don't really know how my mother learned how to knit but she's making a sweater right now and I'm only half wondering whom she'll give it to. I can always use a sweater since my wardrobe needs a change of taste.
Then again it would be out of fashion now because it's spring. I could always use one in winter.
Quatre had phoned later on at lunch and shocked me with some news. News? More like more strangeness. I have to get away from this town and have more friends.
"Duo I think I've lost my pussy."
"Your what?" I half-yelled through the phone. "Quatre, dear you haven't got any." I was shining the ring Heero had given me while I pulled Hee-chan out of the dog's mouth and scolded the mutt for trying to eat the hamster.
There was a bit of a squeal from the other end of the line and I was about to put it down before Quatre spoke up again. "I meant my cat, Duo."
"Oh.." I was sheepish as I balanced the receiver on my shoulder, staring at the ring on my finger. "Well, where's it gone to?"
"That's what I'd called for."
"Have you tried under your bed?"
"Yes."
"Well, darn it, Quat. I'm kind of busy right now." I imagined myself in a party at my place, worn out by the bunch of people (dog and hamster) who I had to attend to. "Ask Bang Boy for help, he's your boyfriend after all."
A small sigh. "Thanks anyway."
"I hope you find your pussy...cat." I said, trying not to laugh as I put down the phone. I shook my head as tears of mirth rolled down my eyes.
Just as I was about to run out of air from laughing there was a small tap at my window.
I stopped mid-laugh and pulled my self together as I walked over to the window, opening it.
There was Heero again and he looked gravely serious as he helped himself in without a word.
Wow, very gentle manly.
I was about to say, "Hey Heero, what's up? Guess what? My dad's out of our way for good." When the sex god pushed me to the wall and placed a hand on my crotch.
I didn't mean he ravished me or anything, he just placed his hand there on the full length. I gasped a bit and he kissed me roughly and grinded our bodies together my skeletal system was about to get severely crushed.
After our kiss, he looked up into my eyes, dazed, hand still not leaving the middle of thighs. "Uhm... Heero your hand's quite uhm..."
"I'll pick you up at 7 tonight." He said simply before kissing me again and then leaving. He clambered down the ladder he had placed by the window as I watched him leave.
"Uhh.. Heero, there's an itchy bush down there.. don't want you to get all allergic now..." I grimaced as Heero began scratching his arm after an encounter with the bush but he turned his head up towards me and smiled. Hm. Let him have the allergies! Molester!
My brow rose. The crotch molester just smiled... Wow I really am good. I taught him that!
Right…
"Well, see ya!" I waved after him, feeling my knees turn to jell-o again.
Minutes later I found myself lying on my side, one arm tucked under me so that when it had become numb I placed it on my crotch. I wanted to know what an unfamiliar hand in the middle of my thighs felt like.
Hmn. What does it mean when another boy rests his hand on your crotch? Does it mean he's got the mega horn or was his hand just tired? [1]
Just as I was about to ponder about that subject, the phone rang again. If Quatre's going to ask about his cat again, I swear I'll put the phone down.
Instead of Quat's voice though, this strange echoey voice said, "G'day Duo. This is your dad calling from the airport."
I was a bit surprised so I said, "Uhm.. hello dad." Gee, he was only gone for the afternoon.
He was all enthusiastic and keen. "How's school?" Actually we don't have any classes today, it being a school holiday.
"Oh... you know... school."
"Is everyone all right?"
"Yes, St. Peter got next door's guinea pig."
"Did he give it back?"
"He did when I hit him with my tennis racket." I winced when I remembered how I had to severely hurt the dog before it let go of said guinea pig. Poor dog.
"And your mother?"
"She can knit now."
"Who the hell taught her that?"
"I don't know."
"Well you should take care of her."
"She's not my freaking daughter."
"Don't swear at me."
"I only said 'freaking'." You said 'hell'. Ha! We're even!!
"That's swear-... look, look, get your mother on the phone, this is costing me one dollar a minute!"
"She's not here." In my room, I mean. I am evil. And I love it. You know parents can get you so pissed at them because they act like Nazis. My dad just told me to stay away from Heero.
"Where is she?"
"Oh I don't know, probably at the bookstore."
"Well, tell her I called."
"Okay."
"I miss you and your mother."
"Hmngghh..." Then I put the phone down. Parents! They make you feel all mushy sometimes...
Anyway, the minutes ticked by and god was it boring. I had nothing else to do but stare at the wall, pat Hee-chan's head and toss my Beethoven CDs around like a Frisbee.
I grinned as the CD ricocheted off out of the window.
I called on Quatre next to check on his cat and ask him something about Heero's strange behavior. Yeah, as if I'm not queer enough myself. (Well I guess we compliment each other don't you think?)
The other end of the phone rang a few times before Quatre spoke up. His voice was a bit raspy which was quite weird since I'd never heard him that way before.
"Oh... uh... uhm..."
"Do you speak English?" I asked, annoyed as I took Hee-chan into my lap, wishing somehow it were Heero lying there instead of the furry little critter.
"Oh.. uhm... hi Duo." I could imagine from what I heard that there was an indistinct husky voice behind him.
"So, found your cat yet?"
"Uh... no, not really."
"Well, what have you been doing all this time?"
"Uh.."
"Never mind, I have a question for you."
"Uh.. a question?"
"Uh.. yeah-? Well what does it mean if another boy rests his hand on your crotch?"
"You mean Heero?" The husky background stopped and Quatre cleared his throat.
"No, not him in particular... just some other boy... all right! Fine! Heero... so what does it mean? Is it some Japanese tradition? I mean touching another boy's you know what could mean anything in Japan right?"
"Uhm...maybe. I'm not so sure."
"What? Has Trowa touched your crotch yet? Is it a tradition in France too?"
"Well..."
"Okay, a different question... who was on top? Trowa wasn't it? Quatre?! Hey!"
"Uh... Duo I'vegottogo. Bye." He hung up on me. I must have freaked the guy out. I need to get out more often.
Now... Hmm... who to ask? A-aha!
Triumphantly, I picked up the phone again and dialed Wufei's number. Gee, now I'm starting to call him by his real name now, I must be so bored. I'd memorized (for no particular reason, say the end of the world-?) Politician boy's number.
I got it from Quatre who had it for the very same reason my father chose to be a reverend. (haha) not!
Well, Quat's got it because they (meaning Politician boy and Quat) had to work on this Math project with him and they kind of needed a bit of communication.
(I didn't really need communication back then but I wanted to try prank phone calls. I called Politician boy once and screamed in the phone that an axe murderer was after me and he said, "Sod off Maxwell." And he put the phone down, hanging up on me. Then I tried to ask him on the next phone call, "Why is your ponytail on too tight?" And I went on reasons of why his temper is too short. And that was the end of that as he yet again hung up on me.)
Anyway, I called on Politician boy, right? I was clearing my throat and coughing and checking my breath.
I practiced a bit for the 'smoothness' of my voice by saying things like 'Hey, dude how's it goin?' 'Yo wassup?!' and 'Yo, man, what happenin?' ghetto style but these strange moaning sounds erupting from the other end of the phone line told me then to shut up.
"Uhm... Wuffy?"
The phone was online but I heard the base of the whole unit fall to the floor with a crash and more of the groans and moans (hey that rhymes!) followed.
"Wuffy?"
"Ooh... please... Ngnhh... harder... faster... pleaseohpleasedon'tstop...Nnhh..h.."
"Politician boy?!" I stammered, swallowing. I think I was shuddering.
"Dragon... I think there's someone on the phone.... Why don't you answer it... for a minute.." The voice sounded albeit familiar... I kind of heard it before...
"Noo... please don't stop... more I need... it... please... faster... don't,,, harder... screw me..."
"Erlack!!!!!!!!!!!! Yuck! Yuck! Gross!!! Eew! Eew! EEEEEEEEeeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!"
I was yelling and jumping up and down horrified at the prospect of.... Uhm... better not say it...
I slammed the phone back into its receiver, shaking my head of perverted thoughts that came unbidden. I will never look at Politician boy the same way again.
I tried to think about something else... Heero... right...
Heero's safe..
Oh my... Heero's picking me up at 7 tonight... Only 5 hours to go. Hmm... What should I wear? (snort). Maybe I should go naked. Or wear jeans but I don't have any, too bad.
Life is hell, except for Heero being in it. Did I ask to be born?! Argh! The only reason I'm here on this earth anyways is because mom and dad... yuck... I wouldn't want to go there...
Eurgh.. Mental image of dad and mom... er getting it on....... Yucky!!! Wah!! Wufei and Treize... Trowa and Quatre? God, I think I'm the only person left who's virgin. Damn.
[Dorothy]
My eyes feasted over porcelain smooth legs-thin and graceful-running up toward the firm, round ass that begged to be touched. I almost groaned as I tore my eyes away, bidding myself not to check my best friend out.
Relena stood up from being bent over, reaching for the speakers' plug to furrow her plucked eyebrows. She is the vainest person I'd ever met and yet I seem to be so attached to her anyway. I tried to pretend I wasn't looking at her breasts, which were scarcely covered by the low v-neck shirt. I think she wasn't even wearing any bra.
I gulped as she walked over to me, hiding my flushed face under a boy magazine of hers.
"Dorothy, where's France?" She asked plaintively walking over to me. Her voice was questioning and resembled that of a confused little girl. I eased down the magazine to peer at her with my eyes carefully.
"Europe." I replied dryly.
The innocent, dumb look on her face never wavered though. I must admit as much as I like Relena more than a friend, she definitely was an idiot-a rich, pretty, blonde idiot.
"Oh." She sat next to me and shrugged. "I was never good in geometry anyway."
My brow rose as I put the magazine down completely on my lap. I was sitting on a plush couch in the Peacecrafts' vast living room helping Relena arrange things for her party tomorrow.
I wished somehow she would let Heero Yuy go-he was obviously in love with that Maxwell boy.
"Why do you ask?"
Relena shrugged carelessly, shoulders rising and falling gracefully in a brisk, poetic motion as she pulled her knees up to her chest, sighing mournfully. God, I think I'm mad.
"The instructions on the speakers were French."
I strode over toe the speakers and bent down, straining with my eyes to peruse the tiny words behind the black box, figuring I should try to check on it myself because Relena had a history of delinquency.
I'm not saying she's innocently dumb but the girl thought Edgar Allan Poe was a nazi in our literature test-hell maybe she's just ignorant, you'll never know.
"Relena." I found myself saying, on the verge of laughing. "It's English, only upside down."
Relena rolled her eyes. "Well, Einstein I'm so sorry..." She took the boy magazine and flipped through it. I'm surprise she even knew Einstein. "You know a wise man always said, if you forgive you're human."
"Actually Alexander Pope said, 'To err is human; to forgive divine'." She glared at me and then dropped the magazine to her side, resting her chin on her left knee.
"I miss Seba-Heero."
"You know Relena," I began, gently breaking it to the girl. "Maybe you should get your mind off of Heero for a second. There are other fish in the sea anyway (like me, I silently added) and he's not a worthy catch might I add."
Relena sighed and tugged at the end of her blonde hair.
"Hmph. I won't let that Maxwell outwit me!"
Yeah I'm sure.
Knowing your chances, he already has.
"I'll win Heero back, you'll see. And that Maxwell boy will pay too! I mean, what can Heero possibly want with him? He's got no sense of fashion whatsoever! And his hair, can you believe he wears it into a braid! That's the oldest style of the oldest... oldest things in the whole universe of... the oldest!!"
I pretended to listen and rolled my head back on the couch, my hand instantly flying to my forehead. Oh God, I think I should just get a girlfriend. This is so sad, hanging out with my best friend and watching her rant about guys who don't even love her back.
I'd spent the better part of my time, reciting the 'best friend' speech to her over and over again when she'd moped and cried earlier over Yuy.
I assured (or lied) that Heero still wanted her back, which of course, proved to be a wrong idea because she cried even more and threw things around the place, almost hitting me with her dog in the process.
Of course, her brain latency/ capacity told her that it was indeed a living object in her hand at that point and she put it (meaning the dog) down nicely on the floor and replaced it with a vase instead. That didn't save me from accumulating a cut on my forehead though.
"Dorothy?"
I snapped out of my thoughts, the better to get my coherence back. "Hmm?"
"Do you think Heero still likes me?"
Here we go again... Sometimes I wish Relena wouldn't be so dense.
"I'm here." I told her vaguely as I scooped her form into my arms.
She acknowledged my actions and leaned her back against me, my arm instinctively wrapping around her from her neck to her shoulder, not before ghosting on her breasts.
Being Relena's best friend had its perks.
Tbc..
Note:
The phone call conversation with Duo and his father, [1] hand on the you know where (except I altered it a bit) and the 'sex god' are from Louise Rennison- Confessions of Georgia Nicholson.
I dunno, this is the shortest chapter I'd ever written because I needed to separate Duo and Heero's thoughts, plus I have a terrible, terrible cold and am currently disallowed from the net. Right now I kind of am alone at home so I could sneak.
I've been feeling quite... sleepy when I had begun writing this chapter and this is all I could muster... I'm so sorry..
If it's any comfort, I will change the poem Heero wrote because it simply sucked. I'll attach it below this chapter, if you want to read it.
Suggestions please? The next chapter will be Heero's because I know how you're all dying to know what he's got in mind.
Reviews would be very much welcomed! I'm feeling all heady achy due to my lack of sleep and I promise to make the chapter longer next time..
~TTFN check back in three or four days for the next chapter, if not, pray that my cold will dissipate soon.
And yes, I had a mistake about Avril Lavigne's song. It is Sk8er boi. Sorry. I was unmindful.
Confession
In the dark I could do nothing but hold you
Of this I'm so afraid,
I tell myself it's just a dream,
A memory, a hopeless fantasy
That in itself will fade.
But if it be just a fracture in time,
If all the words somehow run dry from
My errant tongue,
And if I'm just another poet in my art,
Out of rhyme,
Nothing else could capture how I feel
For you,
But this tableau.
There is magic in your kiss, an alluring
Sensation that draws me in,
Let me feel you again,
Let me keep you,
Pull me closer toward the brink
I want more of this,
This hell hated sin.
All my life, I had searched for
Corporal satiation,
Worldly pleasures of the prodigal son,
Maybe warmth from the cold,
But your touch sent me back to reality,
Bringing me once more into your memory
And suddenly I'm not alone anymore,
As I find myself drowning carelessly into your fold.
They tell us it's wrong, but for once
My ears are shut and sealed
I don't care if they shun us,
Their rage could touch us not,
I hurt you once, and left
And the scars are the only remnants
That refused to heal.
But it is clear to me now, so palpable,
So beautiful and raw:
I want you to want me just the same,
Break me from the ice,
Release these chains
You could be the only one to set me free.
The color of your eyes is there to remind me,
I am human after all,
I have emotions buried deep inside of me,
I err, I break, I shatter and I fall
The only distinction that sets me apart
From the jagged world of rue,
Is that I have a smile behind me,
A constant angel there by my side,
Someone to love, to keep forever
Though I don't deserve it,
I have you.
Did you like it? Sorry for the spelling mistakes if I have any, I didn't check.