[Heero]
"You have to tell him."
My brow rose upon instinct whenever somebody ordered me around and told me what they thought was right.
I ignored Trowa and surfed the net, stared into the laptop screen in front of me as I guided the mouse with my finger on the touch pad.
"You have to tell him, Heero."
I clicked on a random link for the sake of something to do. I glared at Trowa. "I prefer not to."
"Even if it is not in your will, you have to." Trowa yawned idly and stretched on his bed. I was seated by his desk with my feet propped upon the desk.
"My life." I told him seriously. "My way."
Trowa's head snapped up and he brought down the picture I hadn't noticed he was staring at for the past few minutes. "You'll end up hurting him if you don't tell him any sooner."
"Why this sudden concern towards him, Trowa?" I shut the laptop and stared at him, perfecting my glare. Trowa shrugged and smiled thinly. "If you want both him and Winner then keep them for all I care."
"Do my ears deceive me?" Trowa perched his chin on his hand and grinned at me mischievously. "Or is that jealousy I hear?"
"No." I told him carefully. "Your ears deceive you."
"Oh of course, Heero. And when I'd acted the goon, you almost ripped my head off in a fit of rage for touching Duo."
I huffed and buried my face in my hands, the better for Trowa not to see my flushed face. Yes, I admit it. I am infatuated with him; either that or I had gone insane and gay. I can't say I opt for the straight and narrow path of life but any time spent with Duo is better than any time with Relena.
Maybe I was gay after all.
Maybe it's an adolescent problem that I have to face.
Could it be love?
I can't really say, as far as love is concerned, I can easily have any person I want because I know for a fact that I have perfected the tactics of the idiotic 'dating' game, all the pretty lies to say and all the feigned gestures.
Duo Maxwell was easy because I knew he liked me, not that I blame him though, I'm pretty much difficult to resist.
Call it egotism but I know that I can have anybody swoon over me in less than a week, just like Relena had been head over heels over me before. But right now her fawning and stalking sicken me.
But back to the matter at hand—the reverend's son. Maybe it's some hormonal imbalance.
Trowa has had such an effect on me that I'm beginning to think I'm growing soft. I'd never liked it when people touched me, if anything it disgusted me to have their skin just glide against mine.
Relena and I were together for a brief period but we kept our distance and as long as we didn't give a damn about what the other was doing in their spare time, our relationship was fine.
But Duo… he's quite different from anything I had ever *wanted* in my life, from anything I'd ever needed in my life. He irks me sometimes that I begin to lose my temper, but he makes me want to laugh and smile a lot and, though I had been trying to do the latter, it can't come out naturally from the company of anybody… but him.
He does everything with great élan. He is loud, annoying and happy at times. And I like to see him cry because it's pretty and when he smiles, it's the most breath taking sight—the crinkling of his eyes and the perfect curve of his lips—that only he could pull off.
He's quite the blushing person sometimes and his life's quite peculiar but I guess that's what I'd come to like about him. Of course, I wasn't ready to admit that to Trowa, him being the person who always seemed to be 'right'.
I decided to give it time before he could actually shove his victory in my face.
"So what if Duo finds out by himself, that you used him to get back together with Relena?"
"Hn."
I'd always thought I was immune to everything but when what Trowa had said registered fully into my mind, I was caught in a maelstrom of emotions.
I used Duo to get Relena jealous, but all this time I had never thought that I was capable of falling for the bait itself. I had never intended anything like this to happen and now that it has, I can't say it displeases me.
It makes me feel… almost glad to find someone for me.
It's infatuation, isn't it? Love is just an illusion that catapults the heart into a wave of emotional distress. I don't love Duo. I just like him. Period. Duo's just another nameless koibito.
"I'll tell him tonight." I said finally, doubting my own words and looking up at the ceiling instead of Trowa because for a reason, I know he'll have that sickening grin on his face again that made him seem right about passing fair judgments all the time.
I think he's supposed to be my best friend, or is he not? Sometimes I ask myself why I even bother to be around him. I guess I'm just doing him a favor.
"You'll be having a little date if I'm not mistaken." Good old Trowa knew how to piss you off relentlessly.
"Yes." Now get off my case before I hit you in the face.
"You've finally gotten to your senses about Duo and for once I couldn't have been any prouder of you." He was smirking again, as he touched the edges of the picture in his fingers.
"Hn."
"Did you touch his… you know what?" My brow shot up and it took some effort in trying not to laugh at the expression on Trowa's face. But I had long since forgotten how to laugh; only gained my humanness back when I was with Duo.
Trowa made me do it, actually. Touch the braided baka's crotch. At first I was a tad hesitant, but being the acolyte of the great Barton as I was and since I had been curious as to what it might feel like against my palm, I proceeded with Trowa's so-called plan.
Well, I didn't stick around much for Duo's reaction because I had been shocked of myself, just as he was. (Though I don't think he did mind.)
"Heero, do you think maybe you do love him?"
I stared at Trowa mutely and felt my heart stopping in my chest as I snapped out of my momentary daze. I hadn't realized I was nibbling furiously on my bottom lip when Trowa had this strange look on his face again.
"Well, if you do then I guess you'd really have to tell him."
"What he doesn't know can't hurt him."
"So you admit it now, do you?" Trowa asked me softly. "That you in fact, love him?"
"I didn't say that."
"Are you still taking him to Relena's party tomorrow night?" Trowa was beginning to get on my nerves but the mask I wore was of always of calmed composure enough to hide my annoyance.
I nodded and Trowa continued to take me into this little guilt trip he had planned.
"Why?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Why shouldn't I? I'm your friend, your confidante, your—" I shot him my dourest look and he shut up.
Quite frankly, I wondered how on earth somebody with such a strange hairstyle came to be my friend. I don't really have a friend; a companion was more like it. There was no time for attachment.
"Because I want to," I lied. When I tell, or rather IF I tell Duo the real reason I 'courted' him, I'll cease my lying streak, I swear. I'm an incorrigible liar and it's palpable.
"Impress Relena?"
I looked at Trowa and somehow I saw another person who was infinitely better than I was, someone who actually had the time to care for people and touch them once in awhile and I felt suddenly bitter.
He had Winner now, somebody there for him and acknowledging his existence, whereas I had nobody—one of the world's hapless mishaps. Or at least I think I am.
I couldn't answer Trowa right away, whether or not I was just trying to impress Relena.
Why will I bring Duo to her party? It's a social obligation yes, but one that even though missed, would not matter nonetheless for they'll be many. But then I remembered the reason why I ought to bring the preacher's son to a party—I had promised him.
Since I am a heartless liar, the least I could do was keep my promise.
Before I was to speak and tell Trowa that, the phone rang, jolting him out of his position on the bed. Great, I thought. It must be Winner again. I was about to woe in my own misery when Trowa placed his hand on the phone's mouthpiece and turned to me.
"Duo's over at Quatre's house." He informed me. "He's asking if you want to speak to him."
"Hn."
Trowa gave me the phone anyway.
"Heero!!!!" I had to hold the phone an arm's length away from my ears to keep myself from ending up with sensitized hearing. "I've missed you sooooooooooo much! Do you miss me too?"
I could sense Trowa watching me and I glared at him, motioning for him to leave but the guy didn't and just simply shrugged, saying that it's his room anyway and I have no right to send him out.
"What do you want?" I asked rudely.
"Well, my mom allowed me to go over Quat's house to look for his… uhm.. Pussycat. If you're picking me up later on, drop by Quat's mansion instead all right?"
"Fine." I said.
"Well, then. I guess I'll be going now!"
"Good idea."
"Well…"
"Well?"
"See ya."
"See you." I didn't know why I even bothered to speak into the phone when I could've hung up on him instead but the other end of the line was still on and it looked as if the baka had more left to say. And so I waited patiently.
"LoveyouHeero….uhm… yeah… Bye!"
That took me by surprise to be honest. I could've missed it if I were another person but being me I had caught it at the last minute. The phone clicked and I stared at it as if it had suddenly turned pink in a blink of an eye, in disbelief.
"What did he say?" I heard Trowa walking toward me, taking the phone out of my hand and slamming it on its base.
"That he loved me." The truth spurted out unbeknownst to me. And I groaned as I realized the error of my ways.
Trowa just turned to me, eyes penetrating me to the very core and I realized he was studying my face, balancing the truth from the lies. I guess I told lies more than I tell truths that even he, of all people, doubted me.
"Well, what did you tell him in return?"
"In return?" I almost scoffed. Almost because I am incapable of drawing out emotion. I glared at him fiercely.
"You don't expect your relationship to be one sided do you?"
"Relationship?" I guess I sounded like a total idiot at that point. I hadn't really thought of it as a relationship, a fling maybe? It could've been anything but a relationship.
"Maybe." I said vaguely. The less I said, the better.
"I'm going over at Quatre's house, do you want to come too? I'll give you a ride."
I shook my head. "I'll pick Duo up when it's time."
Trowa's eyes cut me in half before he fled from the place.
Briefly, I wondered what it was like to have someone the way he had Winner. I'd never believed in fate. Maybe it was time I started defying the rules.
***
I picked up a few things from the local clothes shop down town. After parking my car at a safe distance where no police officer could spot it, I 'shopped' for the braided baka. I tried to find his size by instinct and might I add that my choice of garments was quite nice too.
I wasn't really one for crowds; I despised school just like any other teen, except that I attend class anyway because I have a prestige to uphold.
I know for a fact that I'm the most popular boy in our grade, call it egotism but I endure life in school to the fullest because that's all I got left.
My parents are away often times and I have nobody to be with me. My life is pretty routine and poky, so to speak and I had never considered getting into college because that would be a waste of time.
I was known to ask questions to myself, "What next?" Marry, have children, work and die? Life is too bleak and superficial and I hate it.
I bought a pair of leather pants and a red shirt for the braided baka, better to get him looking like a normal person. Then again it's not as if I care about what he wears, he always seem to be quirkily winsome just the same. I recall how when we were children, we used to play together without our fathers' knowledge.
The reverend did not like otousan very much. I think they may have a feud going on.
I wonder if Duo still remembers those times I made him cry because I loved to pull on his braid.
Shaking my head out of my thoughts, I walked back to my car only to find a blonde bitch draped over it.
"Relena." I tossed the shopping bags into the passenger seat and looked her in the eye, all vestige of emotion gone. How the hell did she get here?
"Why do you do this, Heero?" She asked me on the verge of crying and her eyes seemed bloodshot, voice cut with a tinge of cold.
I blinked out of my thoughts.
"You know you want me back, and I want you back too. I'm throwing the party because of you, I know how you used to love my parties remember? You used to tell me how you liked loud rock music, and bands—"
"I didn't say that." I cut in rudely. "Maybe it was him, the Sebastian fellow."
I opened the car door and started the engine, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. I hate Relena, I wish she would just leave me alone. She's a nonentity now. Anger boiled inside of me—I wished somehow she would just disappear. Amazing how a week with Maxwell can change you.
"Don't you dare bring that braided idiot to my party!" Relena screeched, nails scraping against my skin as she reached out to pull me from my seat, slender fingers enclosing my wrist. "Heero! Don't you dare mock me by bringing that homosexual idiot—"
"Don't call Duo that." I glared at her and somehow it felt good, exhilarating. "You're nothing compared to him."
"So you call him by his first name now?" She scoffed. "Look what he's doing to you, Heero. When we were together you weren't like that. We used to be happy together. You always said you loved me. That no matter what happens, we will always be together."
"What can I say?" I was almost on the verge of driving off. "I'm an incorrigible liar."
"If I can't have you Heero Yuy then nobody can!!!!!"
The tires of my car screeched as I took off, holding my middle finger in the air.
I think I maybe liking Duo after all.
***
I picked Duo up from Winner's mansion shortly after I'd gone on my little shopping spree.
It was very dark by that hour, the road stretched before us like an endless pale sea, illuminated scarcely by the moon.
There were no stars visible in the sky, just a black backdrop of infinite eerie darkness. The night sky was beautiful and ebony dark, and at the absence of stars it rivaled the texture of black silk.
The moon waned silver, waves of dark clouds threatening to obscure the skies.
Duo kept strangely silent on our way and poked at the radio every now and then, flipping through station after station. I wondered why he didn't question where we were going, somehow feeling relieved he didn't bring the damned hamster along.
We reached the outskirts of the city, where there was a thick growth of grass and trees at both ends of the road. I stopped the car; savoring the verdant smell of the grass not so far away and casting Duo a furtive glance.
He'd craned his neck up to see where we were and his brows creased in confusion.
"Where have you taken us?" He asked. The gravity of his voice almost startled me.
I shrugged and stepped out of the car.
"Where are you going?"
I said nothing as I opened the door for him to hop off, which he did rather warily. I took his hand to reassure him and surely, his fingers entangled with mine as I lead him to the middle of the grass field.
He trusted me.
The green growth beneath my shoes smelled fresh and somewhat evocative. When I looked at the person next to me, suddenly time flew backwards and Duo was ten years younger. Our hands held tight and for the first time, I knew—I knew that this person was whom I would want to be with forever, female or not.
It was as if I was traipsing down memory lane and the boy that held my hand was the very same boy I teased and pelted with various objects just to get his attention—they very same boy whom I chose to play with because all other people didn't want my company because of my sour temper.
I hadn't realized I was human after all, just like Trowa was, only when I was with Duo it felt kind of safe to be me.
I could already smell the humidity in the air—it was going to rain.
"It looks like it's going to rain." Duo observed; his hand had felt like another part of me that's missing. "Why did you bring me here?"
"To teach you."
Duo looked as confused as a little lost boy (i.e. maybe a girl) that I was tempted to shove him to the ground and smother him in kisses. But of course, I didn't. The air was cold and I shivered, drawing my arms around my chest.
"Teach me what?"
"How to be cool." I never really gave much thought how much he'd wanted to belong in 'the cool crowd' so to speak because I'd never wanted to take (even a miniscule) part in those superficial pedestals narrow-minded bigots have put up to divide society (more so student body).
They separated the rich ones from the poor ones, those who couldn't dress properly and so on. All it managed to do was irk me. This is an activity for intelligent people? I think not.
I can't see why people don't see the beauty in Duo.
Great, now I'm going soft. Thank you great Barton!
Duo smiled softly and I felt a small tug at my heartstrings at the sight. He walked over to me and grinned, crossing his arms.
"Well?" He asked expectantly.
I could hear the soft fall of the rain against his face as I stared at him.
"Three lessons." I lied. I swear I could see Trowa shaking his head at me.
"Number one; Have sartorial elegance."
When I was on a roll, nothing can stop me. If there were a law against lying I might've been imprisoned for 2 decades already.
"Well, I don't have anything but these jumper suits." Duo admitted, flushing and even in the slight darkness I could see his face staining crimson. "That's why I guess I can never be cool. Well, what else, master Heero Yuy?"
I walked over to him and the rain was drizzling a bit, tiny splinters on my hair and cheek barely even wetting my garb.
Duo's eyes were glimmering in amethyst. "Lesson 2: Be yourself."
True, I am myself and idiots who have nothing else better to do than be shallow label me as cool much to my dismay.
Duo shrugged. "Easy peasy."
We were so close now and the rain fell down gently, dripping down to our eyes and cheeks. It was cold, rushing down slowly to linger on any expanse of exposed skin. I smiled at Duo as I held him close by the waist. "Have you ever danced in the rain?"
Duo shook his head. "Well, not really. But you know this boy I used to play with when I was a kid asked me to and I ended up with fever for a week."
I smiled at that fond memory. "You're 16; your immunities may have grown strong by now."
"Fifteen actually." Duo flustered.
"What difference does age make?"
"What difference does it make?"
I wanted to ask myself that for a long time. I knew him—this Duo Maxwell—the one whom I called my princess bride because okaasan told me I was a prince and that someday I needed to find somebody for me.
I wanted that moment to be forever imprinted in my mind.
I was squinting now because the rain had become freezing, trickling down our faces and soaking through our hair and clothes. I wanted to know what it felt like to taste his lips in the rain.
"Do you love me?" I asked him softly.
Duo brushed a wet lock of hair from his forehead and he nodded albeit hesitantly.
"Do you love me?" He asked in return, though I could not answer.
"What is love?" I asked instead. "Poets describe it as the most miraculous thing in the world, saying that it's beautiful and eternal. But what is love? Do you know?"
Duo looked at me, dumbstruck and for the briefest period he didn't know what to say. I wrapped my arms securely around his slender waist tighter and his arms snaked around my neck. I could feel the cool metal of the ring I'd given him against my skin.
I shuddered.
"It's a feeling people get when they know that they like a person to spend their rest of their life with them."
"I don't believe in love." I admitted, watching the iridescent color of raindrops on his chin. I felt a primal instinct to lick it off for some reason.
We were silent after that.
"Do you know what I believe in?"
Duo's head snapped up and he listened intently, curiously.
"Destiny." I pressed my forehead against his, feeling two bodies melding together in the rain. "I used to think I was destined for this girl I played with when I was five or six. But when I learned she was a boy, I didn't know what to do."
"Heero…"
"But you know, despite that I still have this urge to be with him." I didn't know why I was suddenly pouring my heart out to him but I had a distinct feeling it was safe to be myself, be human for just a little while.
I had never told Relena anything about me, and this sudden openness toward Maxwell scared me a little.
I was susceptible to emotion as I'd never been.
Duo's lips curled into a small smile as he pulled me closer chin resting on the crook of my shoulder so that I did the same.
"Love can alter. But destiny is steady." I murmured into his ear, breath (probably) blowing against his lobe. I felt him shiver against me, our garments clinging to our skin.
I withdrew from his embrace, startling myself by capturing his lips in a fiery kiss.
We pulled back after being short of breath, panting as we'd almost swallowed some of he rain.
"What was lesson three Heero?"
I blinked at the rain in my eyes, savoring the wet taste of Duo in my tongue—sweet and pure—like honey and wine joined together in such a way that they became two separate quintessential elements but still remained together.
Duo frowned at my lack of concentration when I kissed him again and pulled away, fingers gently wiping at the rain in my face.
"What, Heero? Tell me!" He traced my eyelids to push away the wet tracks of rainwater.
"Defy them all."
He stared at me, in utter shock and a small smile crept into his lips.
"Kiss me." He said. And I did.
"Let's dance." I said after we'd parted again.
"No, Heero. Let's…" his voice trailed off as he fought off a blush. "Let's…"
"Make love?" I supplied softly. Duo nodded.
The rain had stopped. And I could feel the soft tingle of wetness lingering in my face, cool and making me shudder at the same time while I blinked through the remnants of the rain from my eyes.
The color drained from my face.
Tbc…
Please Review!
Tbc…
I still am a bit sick but after watching survivor and seeing that Matt did not win, I was able to write this chapter through dismay. I roughly think that Jenna did not deserve to win but wtf?! Who cares?
Thanks to all those reviews and the next chapter will cover up Relena's party, so brace yourselves. It's really, really long you could fall asleep. I would continue my other fic called 'Boy Meets Girl' actually, I am writing the next chapter currently.
The lemon/lime part will be reconsidered—I'm still thinking about it.
Also, yes I write poetry and noticed that in the last chapter I didn't type in the chapter title. (Sorry!!!) Also, there were tons of mistakes which I'd corrected as I was uploading this thing.
The next chapter's called: We Raised Sheep In Our Farm
Here's a little teaser:
We sparred, grinding our bodies together and for a brief second as Heero pushed away my jumper straps (god, I need a new set of clothes) a bright flash of orange blinded Heero and I.
Heero shielded his eyes and whipped his head behind him as I struggled to get up and push him off. I could hear footsteps drawing closer, shoes padding against concrete and some indistinct, rumbling— murmuring.
"Kids, I would like you to step out of the car please."
The voice was stern and I pulled my discarded clothes to my chest as Heero turned to look at me. I could only gape in horror, clasping a hand on my mouth to prevent myself from yelping.
No it wasn't the Pope. Sweet mother of Christ—it was a police officer!!!
S'il vous plaît Review!
And my cold is a little bit better… thank you for your concern!!