TONY'S BIG DAY (no pun intended!)
Tony sat alone in his room, staring at his hands, resting gently upon his heavy thighs. Carmela had packed up her things just a few days earlier, leaving without a second glance. Tony had scoffed, sneered, gone to the club and gotten drunk of his ass, yet none of it dulled the pain raging in his man breast.
Later, when Paulie and Christopher departed, pleading that they were exhausted and need to go to bed, Tony had driven himself (rather poorly) to another strip club, one where they would not recognize him. He'd taken literally three steps into the club, when he heard one stripper sneer to the other, "Do you want to take fatty, or should I?"
Tony froze, horrified at the fact that they only saw him as a fat man, and not as a human being. He staggered back out of the club, and sat down next to a dumpster, putting his head in his hands and breaking into tears.
"Does everyone think that about me?" he sobbed. "And they just don't tell me because I would shoot them?"
Hurt and confused, Tony drove back to his empty room, and stared at himself critically in the mirror. His stomach bulged over his belt, his chins looled beneath his chin. "I look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy!" He cried despairingly. "No wonder Carmela left me!"
He resolved then and there to lose weight. He would look young and fit, and Carmela would fall in love with him again, and the New York bosses would respect him again. His life wouldn't be this steaming pile of shit. His mother probably would have loved him if he'd just been thinner.
It took Tony two solid minutes to call a plastic surgeon and arrange for a little nip/tuck. When he arrived at the plastic surgeon place, he found an attractive redheaded doctor there, very, very young.
"Hello," Tony said.
"Hello, my name is Willow Rosenberg. I used to be a witch but now I've gone to med school and become a doctor."
"A witch!" Tony cried. "Could you do spells?"
"Yes all kinds of Spells," Willow said.
"So can you make me skinny and all?"
"Sure!" Willow said. "But you have to be healthy so you stay skinny."
"Okay."
And then Tony got thin and things were okay, though Carmela dumped him for other reasons.
THE END
Tony sat alone in his room, staring at his hands, resting gently upon his heavy thighs. Carmela had packed up her things just a few days earlier, leaving without a second glance. Tony had scoffed, sneered, gone to the club and gotten drunk of his ass, yet none of it dulled the pain raging in his man breast.
Later, when Paulie and Christopher departed, pleading that they were exhausted and need to go to bed, Tony had driven himself (rather poorly) to another strip club, one where they would not recognize him. He'd taken literally three steps into the club, when he heard one stripper sneer to the other, "Do you want to take fatty, or should I?"
Tony froze, horrified at the fact that they only saw him as a fat man, and not as a human being. He staggered back out of the club, and sat down next to a dumpster, putting his head in his hands and breaking into tears.
"Does everyone think that about me?" he sobbed. "And they just don't tell me because I would shoot them?"
Hurt and confused, Tony drove back to his empty room, and stared at himself critically in the mirror. His stomach bulged over his belt, his chins looled beneath his chin. "I look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy!" He cried despairingly. "No wonder Carmela left me!"
He resolved then and there to lose weight. He would look young and fit, and Carmela would fall in love with him again, and the New York bosses would respect him again. His life wouldn't be this steaming pile of shit. His mother probably would have loved him if he'd just been thinner.
It took Tony two solid minutes to call a plastic surgeon and arrange for a little nip/tuck. When he arrived at the plastic surgeon place, he found an attractive redheaded doctor there, very, very young.
"Hello," Tony said.
"Hello, my name is Willow Rosenberg. I used to be a witch but now I've gone to med school and become a doctor."
"A witch!" Tony cried. "Could you do spells?"
"Yes all kinds of Spells," Willow said.
"So can you make me skinny and all?"
"Sure!" Willow said. "But you have to be healthy so you stay skinny."
"Okay."
And then Tony got thin and things were okay, though Carmela dumped him for other reasons.
THE END