Draco sensed, rather than heard, the entrance made by Harry today. He patiently waited for a knock on his door, as he had the other two times, and carefully screwed the cap back on to the green nail polish he had been applying on his toenails. Before he could say, "Come in," a man was seated in front of him.

"Oh! Hello." He said pleasantly. "Give me a moment to get my notepad and pen out, please."

"What, yeh ain't not ready for me?" Harry (?) growled in a very hick accent. Today he had turned into a completely different person altogether. He had what we, Americans at least, like to refer to as a mullet. His overstuffed belly hung over the waistband of his greasy jeans, and three of the buttons on his shirt were missing. He also had a full on pedophile moustache. Draco ignored the comment, and went on with the meeting.

"Alright. What is your name?"

"Robert. Robert Muench."

"Where are you from, Robert?"

"Mr. Muench, if yeh don't mind." He said huffily. "Don't think we're on friendly terms or nothin'. I ain't friends with nobody…'cept maybe Tanya."

"Who's Tanya?"

"Ma girl. She's back home in Willard, though."

"Willard? Is that near York?"

"Nah, it's in Missouruh. Yeh ever heard of Missouruh?"

"In the United States? Yes, I took a course on muggle studies at the university."

Robert gave an unreadable look. Well, you were able to gather from it that he was angry, so it wasn't too unreadable. "You think yer better 'en me, don't yeh? Well, I didn't become no truck drivin', law abidin', Bush lovin' son-of-a-gun for people like you. Know that, punk. I don't care none about what you think o' me!" His chubby face had a twinge of red to it.

"Calm down Robert, I'm not better than you are in anyway."

"Damn straight." He muttered.

"Tell me about Tanya." Draco said after a moment, scribbling away on his notepad.

"Ah…" His face got even redder. "Shucks. She's like an angel. She's got this…like… Shiny hair. An' pointy ears. An' a long bushy tail. And she's fast! Like this-," He made swooshing movements with his hands.

"I take it she's not human?"

"Oh, she is. When yeh look like me, yeh've kinda got to take what you can get."

"That's not true. You don't have to settle, you are worth a lot, Robert."

"What are yeh saying, buddy? Are yeh hittin' on me? You wanna fist in yer face? Huh? Huh?" He stood up and knocked over his chair.

"Now, really, is all that necessary?" He wrote something short on his paper. Robert's eyes glazed over a little, much like Michael's had the previous visit, and came to life a second later.

"Ah, man, I'm sorry. Harry said…Harry said yeh fellas used tuh be buds. I 'pologize." He stuck his hand out. "Forgiven?" Draco grabbed his hand (not really wanting to…he had actually seriously considered offering him a moist toilette) and shook it.

"You're forgiven, don't worry about it." Robert began pacing. "What were your parents like?"

"They was like little kids. Couldn't ever do nothin' bah themselves." He shook his head. "Ma momma used to cook these wonduhful meals, but that was about all she done. Ma daddy lost his fingers in the war, so he could never work for money or nothin'."

"That sounds awful."

"Yeah, he also lost his shoes in the war, too. Them were nice shoes, I can tell yeh. Like, rainbow colors."

"Oh, I understand completely. My father lost his keys in the jungles of Vietnam."

"'Nam…'Nam…what a war that was, eh?" He stopped pacing in front of the window and looked out. "Them learnin' books sure make it sound horrible."

"Do you have any siblings? Brothers? Sisters?"

"Well, I don't got no siblings, but I do got a sistuh named…What was it? Oh, yeah, it Farrah. After Farrah Fawcett, y'know?"

"Ah. Yes. Actress?"

"Nah, that lady on those imfo-mercials. That sells those Amazin'! shammy things."

"What is your sister like?"

"She's a moron. An' she's uglier 'en Tanya." He laughed. "If you seen Tanya before, you'd be laughin' too!" He held his tummy and his laughter finally ceased after a moment. "Last time I talked to her, she was turnin' tricks for cocaine. She had to set fahr to her vee-hick-ull jus' to pay her rent."

"Set far?"

"Yeah, set fahr. Like what yeh start in yer fahrplace in thuh winter?"

"Oh, fire. To collect insurance for it, I guess?"

"I guess." He said. There was silence for a while. Finally Robert moved towards the door. "Well, I'm bored. I think I'll see yeh next time. Bye!" Draco waved goodbye, like any proper gentleman would.

"It's been nice meeting you." He called out the door. "I miss Michael…" He said quietly.

Next Chapter: I'm thinking something along the lines of tortured war veteran. The 'Nam thing got me thinking.

Reviewers, thanks a million!! You guys are the best!! I'm not the only person out there with a weird sense of humor!

Dedication: Well, it only seems right that I dedicate this to one of my friends who had a really rough night last night. You really scared all of us, but we're over it and we're here for you any time and we hope you can get past this point. We do love you, even if you don't believe us. And I'm sorry this piece of crap is all I can give you for right now. (Abbey and Hannah, please ignore this.)