Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go. It belongs to Hotta Yumi and Obata Takeshi. I'll be the One is a song performed by HAL and also the 2nd opening song of Hikaru no Go.
I'll be the One
Hikaru's pov
Kimi no me ni utsuru hito ga boku de aru to shinjite mo ii?
(May I believe that the person reflected in your eyes is me?)
I don't know what happened, but in the middle of the night, I woke up from my sleep.
Maybe it was nothing. Sometimes we woke up in the middle of our sleep without any reason.
But maybe it was because of the excitement.
This morning was the best morning I ever had as far as I could remember. I defeated Ochi and succeeded in becoming a pro player.
Finally!
I grinned. Yeah… it was a bloody battle. But I made it.
I finally got to through the frontier I've been longing to pass, and settled in the world I've been chasing for all this time.
The pro players' world.
The world where he exists.
The world where Touya Akira exists.
I can never forget the time when we parted at the internet-café.
"If you only continuing to chase my shadow, someday I'm really going to defeat you!"
"Why 'someday'? Why not now?"
I was speechless that time. I couldn't answer him.
Then he left me.
That time I couldn't say anything because I know I won't be able to give him an equal fight.
But now… I'm gonna make you see only me. Just like me who sees you only.
--------------------------------
Today is the day where I'm going to receive my 1-dan certificate.
I looked right and left. In the middle of this luxurious room, among these people, I felt a little inadequate.
"Take it easy, Hikaru, you look nervous," Sai spoke beside me.
"Yeah, you're right. But at this kind of formal event, I always got nervous."
"Well, at least the whole world will know now there's a new potential player bombing through," Sai smiled.
"Ha-ha…" I smirked.
"Hey, Hikaru!" I saw Waya approaching me.
"Hey, Waya. You look pretty good in that suit," I punched his arm teasing him.
"You too," he grinned, "Anyway, do you know that Touya-Meijin will receive an award in this event?"
"I didn't know that."
"This event is also an event to award some pro players. Touya Akira will also receive an award."
"Oh," I said. So, we, 1-dan pros are just some minor beings in this event.
"Don't say that Hikaru," suddenly Sai said, "Last year Touya was also just some minor being-so you said-in this event. But he have passed every match one by one and made him Touya Akira you know right now."
I smiled at Sai, "You're right."
Yeah, he's right. I shouldn't be pessimistic.
I've worked very hard to get to this place. Not me to end up just because of some negative thoughts. I've worked hard and Sai has done the same thing to help me.
And all those efforts end up to one reason.
To chase Touya Akira!
When I was talking with Waya, suddenly I spotted someone among other guests. And he spotted me too.
Touya Akira.
I stared at him with an excitement myself couldn't control.
Finally…
He walked towards me. His face looked very serious as usual.
I was thinking what I'm going to say to him - but I couldn't. I was too excited to show Touya that I'm here.
I'm in the world where you exist.
And this time I'm ready to answer your challenge!
Touya walked faster.
He was about a meter in front of me and I was ready to greet him.
"Touya, I…"
But he passed me.
Without saying anything, without looking at me, he passed me.
I was very shocked.
He passed me as if I don't exist. As if I'm invisible.
"What kind of attitude was that!?" Waya got pissed off.
Meanwhile I was standing still.
I won't take this kind of treatment…
Don't you know I'm here because of you?
Damn you, Touya Akira!
I'm not only going to chase you… I will be better than you!!
Aeta yorokobi ga setsuna ni kawaru no "jaa ne" to te o futta shunkan ni.
(The joy when we met turns into sadness when you waved and said "later")
-----------------------------
"Damned!" I slammed my pillow to the floor, "Damn you, Touya! Who the hell you think you are!?"
"Hikaru…" Sai stared at me in concern. I guess he wants to say something to make me feel better, but maybe he knows no words good enough to calm me down right now.
"I can't understand him!" I nearly shouted, "Why 'someday'? Why not now? Yea-right!! Now I'm also a pro, why he won't look at me!?"
"I guess he was just a little surprised to see you really became a pro," Sai said carefully, "But I know actually he wants to play against you just like you do."
"But-but… if he does, then why he ignored me like he did!? I feel so underestimated! Why can't he just see me! For all this time I…"
I didn't continue my line.
"What?"
"Nothing," I said.
I glanced at Sai. He slightly smiled.
"For all this time you only see him. For all this time he's the reason why you really wanted to become a pro." Sai finished the line for me. "I understand how you feel. It's not just about go."
"Huh?"
"Nothing," Sai smiled cheerfully.
"Hikaru! Dinner's ready!" I heard my mom.
I still stared at Sai. His smile looked suspicious. "What?" I said.
"Nothing! Go on, your mother called you!"
I walked to the door hesitantly, still glancing at Sai's smile.
---------------------------
Kimi no me ni utsuru hito ga boku de aru to shinjite mo ii?
(May I believe that the person reflected in your eyes is me?)
Two days ahead is going to be my first pro match. And it's going to be against Touya.
Even though I'm still upset because of his arrogant act to me five days ago, but I can't deny that I also feel excited thinking that finally I'm going to face him in front of a go-ban and show him my own game.
This time is going to be my real game. It won't be Sai's, but mine.
I'll show him what I've become and make him forget about Sai.
I'll show him that he was so wrong to ignore me that time.
After school, I went to the CD store. I need some good music to hear before my 'battle' two days ahead.
I swept the CD shelf with my eyes. Umm… I think I need some up beat tunes… nope, not J-Rock. I think some dance music will be good.
Ah! 'Dream'! These girls have beautiful songs and beautiful voices also.
I reached my hand to take the CD. Suddenly another hand grabbed that CD too. Our fingers brushed.
I looked at my right, "Touya!?"
Touya seemed pretty surprised too, "Ah, Shindou."
"I didn't know you have any interest to music," I said rather cynical. My hand still holding the CD – hey, I saw it first anyway.
"My world is not go only," he said and let go of his hold to the CD. He took a similar one besides the CD I'm holding.
Then he left without saying a word.
"Hey!" I felt irritated with his attitude.
Touya turned, "Yes?"
"I'll be playing against you, aren't you gonna say anything!?"
Touya just stared at me, "I've been waiting for that game, Shindou," he said then.
Ah?
"Anyway, Shindou… congratulations, now you've became a pro." Then Touya left for cashier.
I was supposed to say thank you, but I was too amazed I couldn't.
'I've been waiting for that game, Shindou.'
So do I…
But not only for that, not only for the game.
I need you to see me.
--------------------------------
Kono me kimi no me ni utsuru keshikitachi ga onaji de aru you ni sou negatteru.
(I'm praying for what reflected in my eyes is the same view reflected in yours)
At night, I played against Sai. I have to prepare myself perfectly for the game against Touya.
"You failed to cut me here," Sai pointed an area on the go-ban, "But overall, you play good. I nearly unable to protect my area over here," he smiled.
"Hn…" Not good enough I guess…
"Okay, I think you should have a rest now, Hikaru. You got school tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah." I collected the stones on the go-ban and put them in the stone-bowls.
Apparently, Sai noticed something on my face, "What's the matter, Hikaru?"
"Huh? Uh…Nothing..." I felt a bit hesitant.
"I guess you're still remembering when you met Touya at the CD store today, right?"
"Huh?" Straight to the point... "Ah... yeah, I guess so..."
"Is that why you look happy today?"
"What!?"
"I'm just kidding," Sai grinned, "But honestly, I noticed something different from you. Yeah, you look nervous for your game, but somehow you also look… I don't know how to say it… happy?"
"Maybe because I'm excited," I climbed on my bed.
"No, not that. Anyway, I assumed you were mad when he ignored you again, am I right? Because what you said to him back then seemed to prove so."
I glanced at Sai and pouted. Why is he being so interrogative today? "What did I say?"
"What? You don't remember?" he knitted his eyebrows.
"Uh…" funny, I can't remember, "I forgot," I grinned.
"Nevermind...And do you remember what he said to you?"
"He said he's been waiting to play against me, and he also congrats me because I've made it became a pro," I stared at the ceiling.
"You're smiling, Hikaru," Sai smiled softly.
"Huh?" Really? I didn't realize I was.
"Now you know that he sees you too for all this time,"
"Nnaah… he still sees you, the one who defeated him two times two years ago and also at the internet-go. But I'll make him see the real me."
"Good luck! Ganbatte ne, Hikaru!"
"Thanks!"
I closed my eyes ready to sleep.
'Somehow you also look… I don't know how to say it… happy?'
Happy? Yes, I am.
But I don't know why.
Maybe you were right, Sai. Maybe it's not just about go.
-------------------------------------
Kimi no me ni utsuru hito ga boku de aru to shinjite mo ii?
(May I believe that the person reflected in your eyes is me?)
Today, after school I went to the same CD store I visited yesterday.
Maybe there's another good music I could purchase.
Okay-okay, actually that's one of the reasons…
Okay! I confess! That's not the reason.
Actually I came to the store expecting the slightest chance to accidentally meet Touya again.
Blah, don't ask me why. I just felt like meeting him… somewhere…
I walked to the same shelf I checked yesterday. There were some teenagers standing there. Nope, don't see Touya.
What the hell I'm doing here anyway? I'd better come home and practice. I got a big game tomorrow!
I turned, but then I stopped.
Touya was standing in front of me.
"Shindou?"
"Ah… Hi, Touya?" I sounded weird.
"You're looking for another CD?" he asked and approached the shelf.
"Uh, yeah… something like that. And you?"
"Something the like."
The like to what? To my genuine reason?
"Actually I…" we spoke at the same time.
"You first," I said quickly.
He stared me, "Actually I was thinking maybe I could run in to you again today..."
Huh?
"…because I need to say something to you."
Which is…
"Way back before this, we've met at the internet-café. Well, actually I was chasing you that time because I believed that you are Sai from the internet-go. Anyway, that time I started to think that I was wrong consider you as my rival. I started to doubt your ability. But to be honest, even until now, I still pay attention towards you."
Yosomi shinaide ite.
(Don't turn your face)
"I don't know why. Maybe because I'm drawn to you… or to the way you play. Now, you are already in the world of pro players, among other good players. But it's you I'm eager the most to measure."
Boku no koto dake mite.
(Look at me only)
"See you at the game tomorrow, Shindou."
Then Touya left, seemed cold as usual.
Yes, Touya… look at me only…
Itsu demo itai kara itoshii hito de.
(Because I wanna be the one you love always)
----------------------------
I lay awake on my bed, staring at the ceiling in my dark room.
'But to be honest, even until now, I still pay attention towards you.'
Me too.
'I don't know why. Maybe because I'm drawn to you…'
Me too.
Touya, why I wished to meet you at the CD store today?
Because I wanna see you. That's all. I have no other reason.
From that time… from the time we parted at the internet-café, all I see is only you.
My thoughts were evolved around you. To chase you. To defeat you. To show you that I'm exist. Me… and not Sai.
I need you to see me.
Maybe it's not just about go… No, it is NOT just about go.
Right now, maybe all you could think about is how my ability at go. But I'll make you see me not just because of go. I've made up my mind.
First target: to defeat Touya Akira.
Second target: …to win Touya Akira's heart.
------------------------------
Kimi no me ni utsuru hito ga boku de aru to shinjite mo ii?
(May I believe that the person reflected in your eyes is me?)
This is THE day. My first formal match against Touya. My first match as a pro.
"Are you ready, Hikaru?" Sai said next to me.
"Yes." I stared blankly at the go-ban in front of me.
I happen to be one of the players who arrived early. I don't wanna be late at my most waited match.
"Finally you made it here, huh?" Sai said.
"Yeah, finally…"
Finally I got to measure my own strength against Touya. This is it…
Some players entered the room. Almost all of them already arrived. But Touya hasn't showed up yet.
"Is he going to be late?" Sai sounded worried. I guess actually he was worrying about me.
I glanced at the clock in the room. Five minutes to the game. Where are you, Touya?
I could feel my heart beating fast.
Is he going to show up? Or he won't be?
I've been waiting for this game, Touya! And so do you, right? But where are you?
One minute left.
I kept on staring at the door, hoping the person I'm waiting for enters it.
"Hikaru…" I heard Sai's voice. It sounded worried.
"He'll show up. I know he will," I was convincing myself.
I glanced at my digital watch.
Twenty seconds left.
God! Touya, please!!
Fifteen seconds…
I need you to see me!
Ten seconds…
No, I need to see you!
Five…
Because I wanna know what reflected in your eyes.
Four…
Is it Sai?
Three…
Or is it me?
"Hikaru!"
Sai's voice startled me. I was busy with my own thoughts I didn't notice my surrounding.
"Hikaru, look," Sai pointed at a direction with his fan.
Touya… he was standing by the door.
"Hurry to your seat, Touya," the institute staff said to Touya.
"I'm sorry I'm late. There was some traffic trouble," Touya sat in front of me behind the go-ban. He was still panting.
"It's-… it's okay…" I tried to catch my breath I've been holding for some seconds.
We took the stone-bowls for a nigiri.
"I thought you wouldn't come," I said.
"I wouldn't miss this for anything in the world," he mildly smiled at me.
I can see it…
"You hold the black stone, Hikaru."
"Yes."
We put the bowls beside us.
"Onegai shimasu," I said and bowed a bit.
"Onegai shimasu."
I can see it…
I can see it in your eyes, Touya…
I see me.
It's still blurry… but it's me.
We still got a long way to go. And along that way, I'll make sure that blurry shadow in your eyes will show its actual figure.
I'll make you see only me.
Not just because of go, but because you only want me to be the one reflected in your eyes, as how I want you to be the only one in mine.
Kimi no me ni utsuru hito ga boku de aru to shinjite mo ii?
(May I believe that the person reflected in your eyes is me?)
Kono me kimi no me ni utsuru donna mono mo mikiwamete miseru yo
(Whatever reflected in your eyes makes sure it's mine only)
THE END