Forgive me. I have been so preoccupied, and I haven't even thought of this fic. Thank you, everybody, for reviewing. I am not sure why I did not post this earlier.
It's been rough for me. I'm going through some rough times right now, for many reasons.
But today, I went back to ff.net, and I saw all the reviews this fic had gotten. *hangs head in shame* I do not want this fic to die, it is a very fun one for me to write. I'm sorry, but it has been quite hard to come up with what would happen next in it; at least, at this point in my life…
Well, here's the next chapter. I realize that it's short. But see, it was originally ten pages long…but I decided to break it up into smaller segments, because I wanna leave ya at a cliff hanger. Dun worry, I already have the next chapter, so you needn't wait long.
IMPORTANT-a change has been made! (please read): Okay, you know how Gaz says, "When I was four mom died." Yes, she did. Anyways, now, instead, Gaz and Dib's mother died at a different point. It is explained in this chapter.
Last of all, if something doesn't make sense or doesn't fit in here, feel free to tell me about it.
Thank you,
~A-soooo-incredibly-sorry-Elizabeth
Membrane screamed.
Dib didn't hear the scream.
He didn't hear anything.
The one thing he could hear wasn't an actual sound; it was merely the screaming in his head, the many voices, the screams of guilt and loneliness, words that were not words were haunting him, and music, an eerie music that wasn't there was filling the four steel walls he had built within his mind years ago to protect himself from reality.
But now, reality had prevailed. And it hit him harder than anything ever could have.
'Never again,' the wan boy thought as he fired, another beam of deadly light, another scream, piercing the darkness, for but a moment in time.
*
The first thing Zim noticed about Dib when he opened the door was how disheveled and worn-out he looked. There was something about him that suddenly seemed frail, almost as if he were about to break, to crumble, right then and there.
"Zim," It was a simple greeting, which was odd, but the strangest part about it was that it was completely devoid of any hatred or disgust whatsoever. It was, in fact, devoid of emotion itself.
"Dib," replied Zim slowly, warily, not quite sure what to expect of the boy. He noticed that Dib was holding his trench coat closed with a tight fist, almost as if to ward off whatever it was that wanted him broken, that had created the hairline cracks in his sanity.
"Guess what? I have great news for you. You win. And, in a sick kind of way, I win too. Wonderful, no?" Dib smiled viciously, the expression haunted and empty.
"Wha…What?" Zim was puzzled. Yet, somewhere in his hearts, Zim knew that something terrible had happened to Dib; the boy wouldn't be like this otherwise.
Quicker than lightning, Dib pulled a gun he had stolen from Zim long ago from his coat, pointed it at Zim's head. "Dammit Zim! You heard me! I'm tired of this shit! You WIN! I win too…but only I would consider this to be a victory." He paused and tried to collect himself, calm himself. "The authorities will find me eventually." He whispered, and the oddly cloudy Summer sky seemed to open up with tears as Dib sank to his knees, dropped his arms, still clutching the gun like a lifeline. "My bloody handprints are on the walls. I know it," He said, as if this explained all.
Zim felt torn, suddenly; he knew he was feeling worry, and confusion. But he had felt those before. There was another feeling there, somewhere inside of him. He just wasn't sure what. He decided to say what was on his mind, no longer caring about his persona, his image, since there really was no one left to project it to. "What's the matter? What happened?" It was simple. It was all that was needed to release a storm.
"Life, Zim, that's what's the matter! That's what happened! LIFE! Life…" He screamed, anguished, shocking Zim at the sudden emotion coming from the pale being that was nearly lifeless a moment before. "LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENED!" He repeated, shrieking madly, standing up in a show of rage. "Life…" He whimpered, and as quickly as he had stood, he sank to his knees. He looked up at Zim, an almost beseeching look in his large amber eyes.
Feeling awful and confused, Zim helped Dib up and brought him out of the rain. Somehow, he didn't even mind the fact that there was mud on Dib's shoes as he stumbled to the living room. Zim set him down gently, sympathy and worry, of all things, emanating from his ruby eyes.
"Now. Tell me, calmly, what happened to you." Zim said slowly, as if to a half-wit.
But Dib seemed to be a world of his own. Eyes full of anguish and hollowness, he rocked back and forth on his heels, holding himself. "Gaz…Poor, poor Gaz. My sister, she didn't know what hit her…and she was happy when she found out, I'll bet…Gaz…" He swallowed heavily, and his haunted eyes looked into Zim's.
"Gaz… Oh, my poor, poor baby sister…my baby sister… She never knew, she never knew. The guilt of momma's death had haunted her for her entire life, had stuck to her, slowly eaten away at her… She took the blame of what she didn't do… Oh, my baby sister!" He wailed, sobbing, choking. "Why? Why, dammit? Why did she never listen to me…? Why had she brooded like that? I remember her, at night. She whispered in her sleep, moaned in her sleep, cried, talked, screamed… She always said sorry, to no one, no one was there. But I know whom she was apologizing to. She was saying sorry to mom, she thought it was all her fault…
"BUT IT WASN'T!! It was dad's…Membrane's… Father gave mother no rest. He got her pregnant again two days after I was born. And…and momma knew she wouldn't be able to hold Gaz to term. Her body was failing. Because of dad. So, at around six months, she induced labor on herself using dad's equipment. I don't want to think of how. It was a hideous thing…there was so much blood, or so I saw on the security tapes… Mother died while giving birth to Gaz.
"And Gaz carried the dark burden for her whole life. Even as I told her it wasn't her fault, she didn't believe me. I showed her the videos. She still felt heavy with guilt. Sadness. I know, somewhere inside of me, that she had decided to cross the road right when that speeding car had turned the corner. I can imagine her smiling as the car nears. She died instantly. It was this morning, a summer day; dawn, when the birds were singing a chorus of love for the birth of a new day. My baby sister, my little sister, my fifteen-year-old sister, finally got her life's desire." He choked and sobbed, no longer caring that his enemy, his rival, was seeing him like this.
Zim was as haunted as Dib was now; so much had happened, so fast. These past few weeks had yielded nothing but terrible things. He already had enough personal problems; the Tallest already let slip their utter hatred for Zim. But somehow, seeing Dib like this, seeing him so weak and vulnerable, so quiet and haunted, really struck a nerve. It sent him closer to the edge than anything else.
Dib was supposed to be the boy who knew everything. Dib, who would do anything to stop Zim from destroying his world. It never got old for either of them, and Zim knew he owed his fun on Earth to Dib. Dib, who was always Zim's wonder boy from the moment they started their never-ending fight. Dib, who always spoke with a strong voice, with resolve and determination.
Seeing his wonder boy, his enemy, the one thing he had now, crumpled and broken on his floor, whispering words of pain to himself, sent the Irken into a state of panic. Everything he had ever known to be was now muddled up, broken, and he felt that maybe it was his job to put the shards back together. Zim really had always had mixed feelings about Dib; he hated him for ruining his plans, and that was the feeling that had always been dominant. Now that there was no reason to conquer Earth, for he couldn't do it without the Tallest, and there would really be no point, he felt that he actually liked Dib, for being Zim's enemy, for being his entertainment, the boy that had really put fun into attempting to conquer Earth. He sighed in confusion. What was wrong with him?! How could he actually even begin to think that had to help Dib?!
Right as he was beginning to think that he should just throw Dib coldly out of his house, he took another look at him. Dib's eyes reflected a soul still smoldering in the fires of pain, searing forevermore. And Zim's face fell. He couldn't do it, not after seeing the hollow way Dib looked at him.
For Zim had seen the exact same empty look in the mirror every single day since he had launched himself out of denial. He choked and his mouth gaped open.
"Gaz got her chance…to…to...to apologize to mom…" Dib whispered, the lump in his throat allowing only that much. He could take it no longer, and was immediately launched into tears and sobbing, choking, feeling even more pathetic at each passing second.
After a few minutes his sobs grew steadily weaker, until out of sheer exhaustion he lay limp on Zim's floor.
Before he closed his eyes, Dib looked into Zim's eyes once more, confused as to why Zim was being so tolerant, even nice to him.
But Zim saw something completely different in Dib's eyes. He saw not confusion, but accusation. To Zim, Dib's was a look that said 'Look at how much pain I'm in! Why won't you help me? Please, please, I don't want to be all alone like this… How could you abandon me like everyone else?' And then he slid those haunting eyes shut. Zim realized that Dib had only him now, but he couldn't take it. He couldn't stand seeing Dib.
Zim couldn't handle it any longer. One could only be pushed so far. He couldn't stand Dib's eyes.
He picked up Dib's gun and fired, the beam of energy hitting its intended target and echoing into the night like a scream.
*
It's been rough for me. I'm going through some rough times right now, for many reasons.
But today, I went back to ff.net, and I saw all the reviews this fic had gotten. *hangs head in shame* I do not want this fic to die, it is a very fun one for me to write. I'm sorry, but it has been quite hard to come up with what would happen next in it; at least, at this point in my life…
Well, here's the next chapter. I realize that it's short. But see, it was originally ten pages long…but I decided to break it up into smaller segments, because I wanna leave ya at a cliff hanger. Dun worry, I already have the next chapter, so you needn't wait long.
IMPORTANT-a change has been made! (please read): Okay, you know how Gaz says, "When I was four mom died." Yes, she did. Anyways, now, instead, Gaz and Dib's mother died at a different point. It is explained in this chapter.
Last of all, if something doesn't make sense or doesn't fit in here, feel free to tell me about it.
Thank you,
~A-soooo-incredibly-sorry-Elizabeth
Membrane screamed.
Dib didn't hear the scream.
He didn't hear anything.
The one thing he could hear wasn't an actual sound; it was merely the screaming in his head, the many voices, the screams of guilt and loneliness, words that were not words were haunting him, and music, an eerie music that wasn't there was filling the four steel walls he had built within his mind years ago to protect himself from reality.
But now, reality had prevailed. And it hit him harder than anything ever could have.
'Never again,' the wan boy thought as he fired, another beam of deadly light, another scream, piercing the darkness, for but a moment in time.
*
The first thing Zim noticed about Dib when he opened the door was how disheveled and worn-out he looked. There was something about him that suddenly seemed frail, almost as if he were about to break, to crumble, right then and there.
"Zim," It was a simple greeting, which was odd, but the strangest part about it was that it was completely devoid of any hatred or disgust whatsoever. It was, in fact, devoid of emotion itself.
"Dib," replied Zim slowly, warily, not quite sure what to expect of the boy. He noticed that Dib was holding his trench coat closed with a tight fist, almost as if to ward off whatever it was that wanted him broken, that had created the hairline cracks in his sanity.
"Guess what? I have great news for you. You win. And, in a sick kind of way, I win too. Wonderful, no?" Dib smiled viciously, the expression haunted and empty.
"Wha…What?" Zim was puzzled. Yet, somewhere in his hearts, Zim knew that something terrible had happened to Dib; the boy wouldn't be like this otherwise.
Quicker than lightning, Dib pulled a gun he had stolen from Zim long ago from his coat, pointed it at Zim's head. "Dammit Zim! You heard me! I'm tired of this shit! You WIN! I win too…but only I would consider this to be a victory." He paused and tried to collect himself, calm himself. "The authorities will find me eventually." He whispered, and the oddly cloudy Summer sky seemed to open up with tears as Dib sank to his knees, dropped his arms, still clutching the gun like a lifeline. "My bloody handprints are on the walls. I know it," He said, as if this explained all.
Zim felt torn, suddenly; he knew he was feeling worry, and confusion. But he had felt those before. There was another feeling there, somewhere inside of him. He just wasn't sure what. He decided to say what was on his mind, no longer caring about his persona, his image, since there really was no one left to project it to. "What's the matter? What happened?" It was simple. It was all that was needed to release a storm.
"Life, Zim, that's what's the matter! That's what happened! LIFE! Life…" He screamed, anguished, shocking Zim at the sudden emotion coming from the pale being that was nearly lifeless a moment before. "LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENED!" He repeated, shrieking madly, standing up in a show of rage. "Life…" He whimpered, and as quickly as he had stood, he sank to his knees. He looked up at Zim, an almost beseeching look in his large amber eyes.
Feeling awful and confused, Zim helped Dib up and brought him out of the rain. Somehow, he didn't even mind the fact that there was mud on Dib's shoes as he stumbled to the living room. Zim set him down gently, sympathy and worry, of all things, emanating from his ruby eyes.
"Now. Tell me, calmly, what happened to you." Zim said slowly, as if to a half-wit.
But Dib seemed to be a world of his own. Eyes full of anguish and hollowness, he rocked back and forth on his heels, holding himself. "Gaz…Poor, poor Gaz. My sister, she didn't know what hit her…and she was happy when she found out, I'll bet…Gaz…" He swallowed heavily, and his haunted eyes looked into Zim's.
"Gaz… Oh, my poor, poor baby sister…my baby sister… She never knew, she never knew. The guilt of momma's death had haunted her for her entire life, had stuck to her, slowly eaten away at her… She took the blame of what she didn't do… Oh, my baby sister!" He wailed, sobbing, choking. "Why? Why, dammit? Why did she never listen to me…? Why had she brooded like that? I remember her, at night. She whispered in her sleep, moaned in her sleep, cried, talked, screamed… She always said sorry, to no one, no one was there. But I know whom she was apologizing to. She was saying sorry to mom, she thought it was all her fault…
"BUT IT WASN'T!! It was dad's…Membrane's… Father gave mother no rest. He got her pregnant again two days after I was born. And…and momma knew she wouldn't be able to hold Gaz to term. Her body was failing. Because of dad. So, at around six months, she induced labor on herself using dad's equipment. I don't want to think of how. It was a hideous thing…there was so much blood, or so I saw on the security tapes… Mother died while giving birth to Gaz.
"And Gaz carried the dark burden for her whole life. Even as I told her it wasn't her fault, she didn't believe me. I showed her the videos. She still felt heavy with guilt. Sadness. I know, somewhere inside of me, that she had decided to cross the road right when that speeding car had turned the corner. I can imagine her smiling as the car nears. She died instantly. It was this morning, a summer day; dawn, when the birds were singing a chorus of love for the birth of a new day. My baby sister, my little sister, my fifteen-year-old sister, finally got her life's desire." He choked and sobbed, no longer caring that his enemy, his rival, was seeing him like this.
Zim was as haunted as Dib was now; so much had happened, so fast. These past few weeks had yielded nothing but terrible things. He already had enough personal problems; the Tallest already let slip their utter hatred for Zim. But somehow, seeing Dib like this, seeing him so weak and vulnerable, so quiet and haunted, really struck a nerve. It sent him closer to the edge than anything else.
Dib was supposed to be the boy who knew everything. Dib, who would do anything to stop Zim from destroying his world. It never got old for either of them, and Zim knew he owed his fun on Earth to Dib. Dib, who was always Zim's wonder boy from the moment they started their never-ending fight. Dib, who always spoke with a strong voice, with resolve and determination.
Seeing his wonder boy, his enemy, the one thing he had now, crumpled and broken on his floor, whispering words of pain to himself, sent the Irken into a state of panic. Everything he had ever known to be was now muddled up, broken, and he felt that maybe it was his job to put the shards back together. Zim really had always had mixed feelings about Dib; he hated him for ruining his plans, and that was the feeling that had always been dominant. Now that there was no reason to conquer Earth, for he couldn't do it without the Tallest, and there would really be no point, he felt that he actually liked Dib, for being Zim's enemy, for being his entertainment, the boy that had really put fun into attempting to conquer Earth. He sighed in confusion. What was wrong with him?! How could he actually even begin to think that had to help Dib?!
Right as he was beginning to think that he should just throw Dib coldly out of his house, he took another look at him. Dib's eyes reflected a soul still smoldering in the fires of pain, searing forevermore. And Zim's face fell. He couldn't do it, not after seeing the hollow way Dib looked at him.
For Zim had seen the exact same empty look in the mirror every single day since he had launched himself out of denial. He choked and his mouth gaped open.
"Gaz got her chance…to…to...to apologize to mom…" Dib whispered, the lump in his throat allowing only that much. He could take it no longer, and was immediately launched into tears and sobbing, choking, feeling even more pathetic at each passing second.
After a few minutes his sobs grew steadily weaker, until out of sheer exhaustion he lay limp on Zim's floor.
Before he closed his eyes, Dib looked into Zim's eyes once more, confused as to why Zim was being so tolerant, even nice to him.
But Zim saw something completely different in Dib's eyes. He saw not confusion, but accusation. To Zim, Dib's was a look that said 'Look at how much pain I'm in! Why won't you help me? Please, please, I don't want to be all alone like this… How could you abandon me like everyone else?' And then he slid those haunting eyes shut. Zim realized that Dib had only him now, but he couldn't take it. He couldn't stand seeing Dib.
Zim couldn't handle it any longer. One could only be pushed so far. He couldn't stand Dib's eyes.
He picked up Dib's gun and fired, the beam of energy hitting its intended target and echoing into the night like a scream.
*