A/N: This is very strange since I am not a big fan of K/K (don't ask why, it's long, and involves 'too many fics') but I am writing this. I suppose it's because I am tired of people writing about the K/K relationship and making them so oblivious to each other's feelings. Ok, Kaoru, maybe, but Kenshin? Does much get past him? No. I didn't think so. So here we are. A KK one-shot. Oh, yeah, in Kenshin's POV. I'm not quite sure when it's set. After Kyoto surely. Tanabata episode spoilers. (big whoop) Very pointless. VERY pointless. Just my take on why Kenshin hasn't revealed his feelings for Kaoru (thus far). Be warned, I get new trains of thought every few minutes so it may seem like I left something and plunged into something else. I apologize. This is why I happen to enjoy writing one-shots rather than multi-chapter stories. My short attention span.

This is not the first fic I've written, but it is the first I'll post. I guess I want to establish myself with something a bit simple and standard pairings so you people won't hate me right away.

Kenshin's POV

"YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD HER?" Sano booms at me. Sano shouts a lot but not usually right in sessha's ear.

"Sano…" I begin. But once he's off, he's off.

"It's been, what, a year, of you two have started giving each other this pathetic stares and you haven't given her the slightest reason to think you like her. Which you do, don't try and hide it Kenshin!" Sano roars.

"Sessha isn't hiding anything, that he is not," I answer calmly.

"Well I can't believe you haven't noticed she likes you!"

This makes no sense, but sessha thinks he knows what Sano is speaking about. Sessha is not stupid. Sessha knows exactly how Kaoru-dono feels about me.

"How Kaoru-dono feels about sessha?" I ask innocently. I don't know why I do this. Maybe it's because I don't want to be bombarded with questions like "Why don't you tell her how you feel if you know she loves you?"

Well maybe sessha has a good reason.

Every one of my friends has formed their own conclusions. Sano thinks it's because sessha is oblivious toward Kaoru-dono's feelings. Sessha believes Yahiko thinks along those lines as well. Megumi-dono thinks it's because I don't love Kaoru-dono. Many people say I do not want to taint Kaoru-dono, who is pure and innocent.

Maybe they wouldn't think she is so innocent when she is walloping them with her bokken. Not that sessha minds when she does this. Sessha thinks it's cute.

But the truth…Well the truth is that sessha has told Kaoru-dono that sessha loves her. Many times. But sessha cannot use words. Sessha does not use words to explain how sessha feels about Kaoru-dono. Sessha even asked Kaoru-dono to marry him one time! But sessha didn't know that at the time. Tae-dono tricked sessha.

At this time, Kaoru-dono comes out of the dojo, looking tired and happy in her training gi. Megumi-dono says Kaoru-dono looks like a sweaty girl when she practices swordsmanship, but sessha respects Kaoru-dono, for she is a capable girl, not a damsel in distress.

"Kenshin, Sano, what are you yelling about?" She looks slightly irritated.

"Sessha is trying to talk Sano out of gambling today. He has lost too much money already this week," I explain. It isn't a total lie. This is what we were talking about before Sano got on the subject of Kaoru-dono and I.

"He's right Sano. If your going to gamble you should at least win, not lose," Kaoru-dono agrees.

"Aw, give me a break…I'm going to go get some food," Sano grumbles and walks past us.

Kaoru-dono looks annoyed at Sano. But then, she usually is. "I meant to tell you Kenshin," Kaoru-dono begins. "It's just us for dinner tonight. Yahiko's going to the Akabeko."

"Okay Kaoru-dono, sessha will cook," As much as sessha loves Kaoru-dono, sessha can't deny that her cooking needs help. Still, when Yahiko and Sano make fun of it, sessha sticks up for her. Yet another one of sessha's unspoken vows of love for Kaoru-dono.

Kaoru-dono smiles at me. Sessha loves to see her face light up. "Alright then Kenshin."

"Would Kaoru-dono like sessha to draw a bath for her?" I ask.

"Yes Kenshin. Thank you," Kaoru-dono smiles again.

A few hours later I am preparing dinner. Kaoru-dono is out of her bath and dressed. She saunters out of her room and down to the kitchen. (AN: I almost wrote KENSHIN! Eep!)

"That smells good Kenshin," she informs me. She smells nice. Clean, and like jasmine.

"It's sessha's special recipe," I tell her, and wink. She looks surprised at this simple gesture.

We sit down to eat a few minutes after that.

I love the way Kaoru-dono looks when she is eating. Or really, when she is doing anything. She looks so calm and focused as she delicately picks up a clump of rice and chews it carefully.

I wish I was that rice. To have Kaoru-dono's stare focused on me, only me, and then to be eaten up by her. I am that clump of rice.

Maybe Kaoru-dono gets angry at sessha for not admitting that I love her out loud. Maybe she is content to wait as well. We both know we love eachother, and that is all that matters. Marriage, love-making, children, that can all come later. For now I am perfectly appeased to sit in the presence of Kaoru-dono.

And it is not because I am afraid of commitment. Yes, what happened to Tomoe make me somewhat of a recluse, not wanting to connect with anyone. But I connected with Kaoru-dono, I could feel that I did, so I stayed.

And it is not because I think I am too unworthy. I am, but Kaoru-dono doesn't mind. It's her choice, hers, and not mine. I won't simply walk out because I believe Kaoru-dono loves me.

It's because I know what our future is, and what will come of it. It will be a burden to Kaoru-dono, but she will feel blessed. And when we have a child, sessha will feel resolved. After all the lives I took, I will be able to bring another in to existence. And nothing else will make me happier.

And Kaoru-dono will have to live while I kill myself slowly, from guilt and pain. While I suffer, she will suffer next to me in an endless cycle.

So that is why I have not said it outright. Right now, eating together silently, there is nothing. Nothing between us, so I can just feel content.

And we can sit in bliss.

A/N: A lot of that made no sense, but let's just sit and take in the real message here. I think this applies to any Kenshin/someone pairing, aside from Tomoe. So I guess that's why I allowed myself to write it.