What a downfall to something that they've been waiting for, eh? Bleh. :[
==============================================================
Chapter 20
The ride back home didn't go as happy as planned. The fortunate part of the ride, was that Kagome sat in the front with Inuyasha. The unfortunate part, was that Sango sat in the back with Miroku. During the whole ride, Kagome and Inuyasha were the only ones that spoke.
Kagome looked back at times, and saw that the two never moved. Miroku's head was always down, and Sango's body was shifted to back face Miroku.
When they finally got home, Kagome went with Sango to drop her off home. Miroku, instead, went straight back to his house.
"Are you going to be okay?" Kagome asked softly as she helped Sango upstairs.
Sango didn't speak, she just nodded her head slowly.
"I think I'll be here tomorrow, okay? Just to check up on you..." Kagome helped Sango get into her bed.
"Then maybe tomorrow you can tell me what's going on.." Kagome winked as she tucked the blanket over Sango.
"See you tomorrow, Sango. Please get well." she bid her good-bye and closed her bedroom door softly.
"What's wrong with her?" Inuyasha asked.
"I don't know...apparently something must've happened between her and Miroku." Kagome wondered and sighed.
"Do you want me to walk you home?" Inuyasha asked softly.
"Sure.." Kagome blushed as Inuyasha walked over to her and held her hand.
=========================================================================
:: FLASH BACK ::
It was raining heavily, and a woman with a black cloak stood outside of a house with its lights on. She did not dare to knock or doorbell the door while she still stood there. The woman held a basket with plenty of blankets in it. However, there were more than blankets in the basket...
...there was also a baby.
"I'm sorry, Miroku. Please forgive me someday." she woman cried as she held the basket with the baby in it.
"Living with your Aunt Higurashi won't be so bad. You'll grow up to be a nice man, okay?" tears began to develop in the woman's eyes.
"Now that your father is gone...I.. I just can't maintain what you need with this curse of yours." the woman began to sob.
"And I will not put my life in danger because of that. Aunt Higurashi is your father's only sister...I'm sorry, Miroku."
"I can't risk the life of myself...but your auntie..she is far more stronger than I. She'll surely know how to protect you and others from harm..I'm sorry Miroku...I just can't.."
The baby looked at his mother and reached out for her. The woman stared at her baby with tears in her eyes.
"I cannot. I can't. I can't raise you, Miroku!" she woman pulled out an envelope from her pocket and placed it on the basket. She rang the doorbell and ran away swiftly.
A woman opened the door, but found no one standing. She looked down and found the basket. The woman gasped in shock and quickly brought the baby inside of her house.
'Sister Higurashi,
I apologize, but please, take care of my baby, Miroku. After the death of your brother, and my beloved husband, I am unable to take care of him. The reason for this, is because our baby is cursed with a hole on one of his hands that if opened, will suck up everything in its path. I know that you are a strong woman, and I admire that in you. That is why I have chosen you to raise my child. I apologize once more...for I cannot risk my life. Good-bye. '
Ms. Higurashi looked at the crying baby and smiled. She picked him up out of his basket and began to rock him.
"It's okay, Miroku. You're safe now." she said as carried him in the kitchen for milk.
** END OF FLASH BACK **
Miroku laid on his bed and observed his cursed hand.
'Her tears...I caused her those tears. She told me she loved me...and I caused her tears.' Miroku thought to himself as he still looked at his wrapped hand.
'I told you that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Sango. And I will be a man of my word.' Miroku clenched his hand into a fist and punched his bed. He heard the door close downstairs and figured that Kagome was home now. Miroku rolled over in his bed, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.
=================================================================================
As Inuyasha said good-bye to Kagome, he began walking his way back home. He thought about the club opening. It had been a while since he's had that much fun.
He had a flashback of him and Kagome's last dance. He remembered when they had kissed. Inuyasha nearly stumbled as he recalled Kagome saying that she loved him, and nearly fell as he remembered him saying that he loved her too.
As Inuyasha reached the door of his house, he looked back towards Kagome's. The night was dark, and the only light that was to be seen were by the stars or the post lights.
He opened his house and went into his room. Inuyasha smiled because he had enjoyed his date with Kagome. He was so tired, that he practically fell on his bed. As he grasped his pillow, his hands went under it. Inuyasha was surprised as he felt a piece of paper underneath.
As he pulled it out, he found the picture of him and Kikyo. Inuyasha sat up on his bed and turned on the light.
'Kikyo...' the thought to himself with guilt.
On the table next to his bed, he found the pictures that he took with Kagome at the mall. He picked those pictures up also, and in the other hand he held the picture of him and Kikyo.
Inuyasha looked at the two photos and sighed heavily.
"Kikyo....I... I promised to love you forever. And I cannot betray that promise..." he said silently to himself.
"..but I feel that I've already betrayed you...I can't love another..you are the only one that I should love..." Inuyasha looked at him and Kagome's picture. He set it back down on his table and held the one of Kikyo.
"I'm sorry, Kagome...I meant the words that I said back at the opening...but I failed to keep my promise to Kikyo and caused her soul pain..." Inuyasha placed Kikyo's picture back under his pillow and covered his face in his hands.
"I...I can't love you, Kagome..."
==================================================================================
:: knock knock::
It was already noon, and Inuyasha opened the door. He looked in sadness when he saw Kagome at the door.
"Hi, Inuyasha!" she greeted as she hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey...Kagome." he said dully as looked down. .
"Is Sango upstairs?" she asked.
Inuyasha nodded and walked to the kitchen. Kagome wondered why he had been acting so different, but decided to ask him later.
She walked upstairs and knocked on Sango's door.
"Sango?" she called out.
Kagome heard no reply from her, all she heard was the faint sound of someone sniffling.
Kagome opened the door and saw that Sango's room was very dark. The windows were covered by the blinds, and Kagome realized that it looked exactly like how she left it the other night.
Kagome nearly fell as she saw a dark object moving slowly on the bed. She saw that it was Sango and immediately sat by her side.
"Sango...are you okay?" she asked gently.
Sango sniffed and looked away.
"Hey..it'll be okay...what happened?" Kagome said softly.
Sango looked up at Kagome, her eyes were red and puffy. She looked away and wiped her face with her sleeve.
"Things were going perfect....like every day..." Sango began as she voice was silent and shaky.
"Then...during the slow dance...I..." Sango stopped her sentenced and was silent.
"You, what?" Kagome asked softly.
"...I told him that I loved him."
"And then what?"
Sango got up from her bed and threw away the tissue she was holding. She stood in her bedroom and wiped her face with her hands.
"...he.. Said he didn't feel the same. He doesn't feel the same, Kagome." Sango said strongly as she held back more tears.
Kagome got up and hugged her friend.
"It's okay.. It's okay, Sango."
"No, Kagome. It isn't okay. I let myself fall in love with him, when I haven't even known him... for how long?! What was I thinking?! I was a fool! I am a fool! I'm a fool that loves someone who doesn't love her back!" Sango yelled as she released herself from Kagome's hug and stood in front of her. Her eyes were full of pain and agony.
"I'm sure there's an explanation." Kagome tried comforting Sango.
"What's there to explain, Kagome? He doesn't....feel the way I feel for him. That's it." Sango walked pass Kagome and fell onto her bed.
Kagome sighed, and went downstairs for a cup of water.
As she was in the kitchen, she saw Inuyasha in his working clothes.
"Going to work?" she asked as she smiled.
"Yeah.. Uhh, I guess." he said without even looking at her.
Kagome shrugged at his unusual behavior. She brought two cups of water with her upstairs and sat beside Sango.
"You can't put yourself down like that, Sango. Miroku is at home right now depressing himself as well." Kagome shut her mouth as she realized what she was saying wasn't helping Sango in any way at all.
Sango chose to ignore what Kagome said and drank her water slowly.
"Have you been in here all day?" Kagome asked.
"Yes. There's no where to go. Nothing to do.." Sango nodded slowly.
"Oh...well, today should be a You and Me day!" Kagome smiled. Sango just looked down at her water.
"Is there anything wrong with me, Kagome?" she asked after minutes of silence.
"No! Of course not! You're perfect!" Kagome said in shock.
"Then why doesn't he love me...if I'm so perfect?"
Kagome didn't reply. She had been so sure that Miroku surely fell deep for Sango. She, herself, was confused on why he said he hadn't felt the same.
"I don't know, Sango. I really don't, but I want you to hang in there. You were brave to tell him how you felt, you know. I admire you for that..." Kagome said as she broke the silence.
"I appreciate it, but admiration is no help for me now." Sango said sternly.
Kagome put her arm around Sango and sighed. Sango sat stiffly on her bed, and played with her ring with three charms.
============================================================================
'I wouldn't have found out that I... that I love you.' Sango's words ran through Miroku's mind all morning.
He laid in his bed and thought about her tear-streaked face. He thought about how in the back of the car, they hadn't spoke a single word. He thought about how he wasn't with her at this very moment.
"I do love you, Sango...but like I said before...I won't allow myself to hurt you. What I'm doing is right..."
Miroku stood up from his bed and went to the bathroom to wash his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He saw the face of Sango as she took a glance at him when he had told her that he couldn't feel the same.
The painful expression on her face pierced Miroku's heart. Miroku looked down at the draining water, he wiped his face with his hand and went back into his room.
'Am I doing the right thing?'
=============================================================================
It was night time, and Kagome was still at Sango's house. Her efforts to try and cheer her up were useless. A single smile had not once formed across Sango's face.
Kagome grew tired and yawned as she sat on Sango's carpet floor.
"Are you tired?" Sango asked.
"A little bit, but it's okay." Kagome placed her hands on the carpet and rested her head there.
"I'd give you my pillow, but I'm afraid...it's full...of tears." Sango mumbled her last words.
"You could probably use Inuyasha's pillow though. He won't mind since he's at work." Sango said softly.
Kagome nodded and went into Inuyasha's room.
She looked around, and laughed at how messy it was.
'Inuyasha's such a loser...' she laughed to herself.
She picked up his blanket off of the ground and placed it on his bed. Kagome picked up Inuyasha's pillow, but something had fallen on the ground. It looked like a piece of paper.
Kagome picked up the paper from the ground. It was a picture of Kikyo and him. Kagome recognized the picture from a long time ago.
'This... this was in Sango's drawer..' she thought to herself.
'Why was it under his pillow?' she asked to herself confused.
Kagome looked at the picture of him and Kikyo. Her smile faded into a confused frown. Suddenly, someone opened the door to Inuyasha's room.
"What're you doing in here?" a stern voice asked. It was Inuyasha.
He froze as he saw Kagome holding the picture of Kikyo.
"What's this?" she asked angrily.
"It's a picture." he said as he closed the door.
"I know it's a picture, but what's Kikyo doing on it?!" Kagome said louder.
"Is that any of your business?! It's my picture, now give it back!" he yelled as he tried grabbing it from her hands.
"So this is why you've been acting so weird, isn't it?!" she yelled back as she refused to give him back the picture.
"I haven't been acting any different!"
"Yes, yes you have. Ever since yesterday, you've been acting like nothing ever happened!"
Inuyash didn't reply and kept on trying to get back the picture. Kagome pushed him away.
"I want you to tell me now, Inuyasha." she said seriously.
"Tell you what?!"
"Did you mean what you said at the club opening?"
"What?"
"Did you, or did you not mean it when you told me that you loved me."
Inuyasha turned his head and looked away from her. He felt her eyes staring at him in sadness.
"Yes, I meant it." he replied without looking at her.
"I see. Now tell me this, do you love me because I look like Kikyo, or because of who I really am?" she asked as she held up the picture to his face.
Inuyasha backed away and looked down. He did not reply to her question.
"So that's what this has been about? Well...I'll tell you something, Inuyasha." she walked closer to him, her eyes were full of anger.
"I am not Kikyo. Like you said, I could never be Kikyo! MY NAME IS KAGOME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! I AM KAGOME!"
"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, KAGOME! BUT I CAN'T LOVE YOU. I DON'T LOVE YOU." he yelled back at her.
"THEN WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU MEANT WHAT YOU SAID? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, INUYASHA!"
Inuyasha fell silent, he did mean every word he said to her.
"I love Kikyo...she is the only one I've loved. She will be the only one I love. And nobody else will ever take her place!" he snapped at her.
Kagome looked down and the picture dropped from her hand. A tear dropped onto the picture. Inuyasha looked at Kagome, and noticed that she was sobbing.
"Kagome..." he said slowly.
"What?! Just let it be then." she said as she stood.
"Kagome I..."
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" she said as she lifted her head. Her eyes were full of tears.
Inuyasha backed away.
"I do love you, Inuyasha. Really, I do. I would fight anyone for your love in return." she walked closer to him.
"....but you tell me how am I suppose to fight a ghost?" she said slowly as she looked at him once more, and then walked out of his room.
Inuyasha just watched her say something to Sango, and then walk downstairs.
He picked up the picture of Kikyo from his carpet floor and wiped away Kagome's tear that had fallen on it.
'Maybe it's not your battle to fight, Kagome. Maybe it's not...'
============================================================================
It was midnight, and everyone was asleep. Well, almost everyone.
Sango lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She heard a soft knock on the door.
'Who could be visiting at a time like this?' she asked herself as she walked downstairs.
Her eyes widened as she saw Miroku at the door.
"Can we talk, Sango?" he asked her. She nodded as she closed the door behind her.
"So what is it?" she asked silently as they walked along the sidewalk.
"It's about... yesterday."
"Could've fooled me." she said sarcastically, but didn't laugh.
"Sango...I was scared."
"Oh!? And you think I wasn't?!" her voice rose.
"Sango, I can't fall in love."
"Oh, yeah right. You can't fall in love? Or you just don't want to fall in love with me?"
"Listen, I don't want to hurt you."
"And what're you calling what's happening right now?! I don't know what you think is going on between us at the moment, but it's hurting me! Whether you know it or not, it is Miroku. It's hurting me more than you know!" she started to yell.
"But it isn't my choice to hurt you."
"IT ISN'T YOUR CHOICE?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! It was your choice not to love me. It was your choice to hurt me. Everything is your choice!" Sango's voice echoed in the neighborhood.
"SANGO, I CAN'T LOVE YOU." he exclaimed.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED?!"
"No..." he said slowly.
"THEN WHY NOT?!" she nearly bit his head off.
"BECAUSE I CAN'T TRUST ANYBODY! I CAN'T GET CLOSE TO ANYONE! I CAN'T LOVE ANYONE!" he yelled. Sango stepped back at his anger and didn't respond.
"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I LIVE WITH KAGOME AND HER MOM? IT'S BECAUSE MY MOM DIDN'T WANT ME. SHE ABANDONED ME, SANGO. SHE DIDN'T WANT ME BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN THING." he held up his cursed hand.
"And what does that have to do with me?" she asked.
"I CAN'T LET MYSELF LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU MIGHT LEAVE ME TOO! You might run out on me also just like she did. You might leave me scarred for the rest of my life. I do love you, Sango. I do, but I won't let myself put you in danger because of my curse." he said sternly.
Sango was quiet for a moment and looked down. Miroku calmed down a bit, and then they stood in the night. The sky was lit up with stars.
"...trust me with your heart." Sango mumbled, but Miroku hadn't caught what she said.
"What?"
"You don't love me, Miroku. No matter what you say. Because if that's what's keeping you from loving me, then don't even love me at all." Miroku was taken back at her words.
"I would never leave you because of your curse. Never. Never have I ever thought about leaving you because of it. I'm sorry about your mother, but don't go on assuming that I'll happen to do the same. And the danger? Trust yourself on protecting me from it. You've lasted this long, what would a couple of years loving me make it any different?" Sango began to form tears in her eyes.
"I just wish... you would trust me, Miroku. I wish you would've. I wish you would trust me and stop running away." she said as she pushed his shoulder hard and walked back inside to her house.
Miroku stood on the sidewalk and heard her door slam. He looked up at her bedroom window and the lights were off. He sighed heavily and started walking back home.
Sango's words chanted in his mind as he walked.
'I wish you would trust me....'
==============================================================
Chapter 20
The ride back home didn't go as happy as planned. The fortunate part of the ride, was that Kagome sat in the front with Inuyasha. The unfortunate part, was that Sango sat in the back with Miroku. During the whole ride, Kagome and Inuyasha were the only ones that spoke.
Kagome looked back at times, and saw that the two never moved. Miroku's head was always down, and Sango's body was shifted to back face Miroku.
When they finally got home, Kagome went with Sango to drop her off home. Miroku, instead, went straight back to his house.
"Are you going to be okay?" Kagome asked softly as she helped Sango upstairs.
Sango didn't speak, she just nodded her head slowly.
"I think I'll be here tomorrow, okay? Just to check up on you..." Kagome helped Sango get into her bed.
"Then maybe tomorrow you can tell me what's going on.." Kagome winked as she tucked the blanket over Sango.
"See you tomorrow, Sango. Please get well." she bid her good-bye and closed her bedroom door softly.
"What's wrong with her?" Inuyasha asked.
"I don't know...apparently something must've happened between her and Miroku." Kagome wondered and sighed.
"Do you want me to walk you home?" Inuyasha asked softly.
"Sure.." Kagome blushed as Inuyasha walked over to her and held her hand.
=========================================================================
:: FLASH BACK ::
It was raining heavily, and a woman with a black cloak stood outside of a house with its lights on. She did not dare to knock or doorbell the door while she still stood there. The woman held a basket with plenty of blankets in it. However, there were more than blankets in the basket...
...there was also a baby.
"I'm sorry, Miroku. Please forgive me someday." she woman cried as she held the basket with the baby in it.
"Living with your Aunt Higurashi won't be so bad. You'll grow up to be a nice man, okay?" tears began to develop in the woman's eyes.
"Now that your father is gone...I.. I just can't maintain what you need with this curse of yours." the woman began to sob.
"And I will not put my life in danger because of that. Aunt Higurashi is your father's only sister...I'm sorry, Miroku."
"I can't risk the life of myself...but your auntie..she is far more stronger than I. She'll surely know how to protect you and others from harm..I'm sorry Miroku...I just can't.."
The baby looked at his mother and reached out for her. The woman stared at her baby with tears in her eyes.
"I cannot. I can't. I can't raise you, Miroku!" she woman pulled out an envelope from her pocket and placed it on the basket. She rang the doorbell and ran away swiftly.
A woman opened the door, but found no one standing. She looked down and found the basket. The woman gasped in shock and quickly brought the baby inside of her house.
'Sister Higurashi,
I apologize, but please, take care of my baby, Miroku. After the death of your brother, and my beloved husband, I am unable to take care of him. The reason for this, is because our baby is cursed with a hole on one of his hands that if opened, will suck up everything in its path. I know that you are a strong woman, and I admire that in you. That is why I have chosen you to raise my child. I apologize once more...for I cannot risk my life. Good-bye. '
Ms. Higurashi looked at the crying baby and smiled. She picked him up out of his basket and began to rock him.
"It's okay, Miroku. You're safe now." she said as carried him in the kitchen for milk.
** END OF FLASH BACK **
Miroku laid on his bed and observed his cursed hand.
'Her tears...I caused her those tears. She told me she loved me...and I caused her tears.' Miroku thought to himself as he still looked at his wrapped hand.
'I told you that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Sango. And I will be a man of my word.' Miroku clenched his hand into a fist and punched his bed. He heard the door close downstairs and figured that Kagome was home now. Miroku rolled over in his bed, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.
=================================================================================
As Inuyasha said good-bye to Kagome, he began walking his way back home. He thought about the club opening. It had been a while since he's had that much fun.
He had a flashback of him and Kagome's last dance. He remembered when they had kissed. Inuyasha nearly stumbled as he recalled Kagome saying that she loved him, and nearly fell as he remembered him saying that he loved her too.
As Inuyasha reached the door of his house, he looked back towards Kagome's. The night was dark, and the only light that was to be seen were by the stars or the post lights.
He opened his house and went into his room. Inuyasha smiled because he had enjoyed his date with Kagome. He was so tired, that he practically fell on his bed. As he grasped his pillow, his hands went under it. Inuyasha was surprised as he felt a piece of paper underneath.
As he pulled it out, he found the picture of him and Kikyo. Inuyasha sat up on his bed and turned on the light.
'Kikyo...' the thought to himself with guilt.
On the table next to his bed, he found the pictures that he took with Kagome at the mall. He picked those pictures up also, and in the other hand he held the picture of him and Kikyo.
Inuyasha looked at the two photos and sighed heavily.
"Kikyo....I... I promised to love you forever. And I cannot betray that promise..." he said silently to himself.
"..but I feel that I've already betrayed you...I can't love another..you are the only one that I should love..." Inuyasha looked at him and Kagome's picture. He set it back down on his table and held the one of Kikyo.
"I'm sorry, Kagome...I meant the words that I said back at the opening...but I failed to keep my promise to Kikyo and caused her soul pain..." Inuyasha placed Kikyo's picture back under his pillow and covered his face in his hands.
"I...I can't love you, Kagome..."
==================================================================================
:: knock knock::
It was already noon, and Inuyasha opened the door. He looked in sadness when he saw Kagome at the door.
"Hi, Inuyasha!" she greeted as she hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey...Kagome." he said dully as looked down. .
"Is Sango upstairs?" she asked.
Inuyasha nodded and walked to the kitchen. Kagome wondered why he had been acting so different, but decided to ask him later.
She walked upstairs and knocked on Sango's door.
"Sango?" she called out.
Kagome heard no reply from her, all she heard was the faint sound of someone sniffling.
Kagome opened the door and saw that Sango's room was very dark. The windows were covered by the blinds, and Kagome realized that it looked exactly like how she left it the other night.
Kagome nearly fell as she saw a dark object moving slowly on the bed. She saw that it was Sango and immediately sat by her side.
"Sango...are you okay?" she asked gently.
Sango sniffed and looked away.
"Hey..it'll be okay...what happened?" Kagome said softly.
Sango looked up at Kagome, her eyes were red and puffy. She looked away and wiped her face with her sleeve.
"Things were going perfect....like every day..." Sango began as she voice was silent and shaky.
"Then...during the slow dance...I..." Sango stopped her sentenced and was silent.
"You, what?" Kagome asked softly.
"...I told him that I loved him."
"And then what?"
Sango got up from her bed and threw away the tissue she was holding. She stood in her bedroom and wiped her face with her hands.
"...he.. Said he didn't feel the same. He doesn't feel the same, Kagome." Sango said strongly as she held back more tears.
Kagome got up and hugged her friend.
"It's okay.. It's okay, Sango."
"No, Kagome. It isn't okay. I let myself fall in love with him, when I haven't even known him... for how long?! What was I thinking?! I was a fool! I am a fool! I'm a fool that loves someone who doesn't love her back!" Sango yelled as she released herself from Kagome's hug and stood in front of her. Her eyes were full of pain and agony.
"I'm sure there's an explanation." Kagome tried comforting Sango.
"What's there to explain, Kagome? He doesn't....feel the way I feel for him. That's it." Sango walked pass Kagome and fell onto her bed.
Kagome sighed, and went downstairs for a cup of water.
As she was in the kitchen, she saw Inuyasha in his working clothes.
"Going to work?" she asked as she smiled.
"Yeah.. Uhh, I guess." he said without even looking at her.
Kagome shrugged at his unusual behavior. She brought two cups of water with her upstairs and sat beside Sango.
"You can't put yourself down like that, Sango. Miroku is at home right now depressing himself as well." Kagome shut her mouth as she realized what she was saying wasn't helping Sango in any way at all.
Sango chose to ignore what Kagome said and drank her water slowly.
"Have you been in here all day?" Kagome asked.
"Yes. There's no where to go. Nothing to do.." Sango nodded slowly.
"Oh...well, today should be a You and Me day!" Kagome smiled. Sango just looked down at her water.
"Is there anything wrong with me, Kagome?" she asked after minutes of silence.
"No! Of course not! You're perfect!" Kagome said in shock.
"Then why doesn't he love me...if I'm so perfect?"
Kagome didn't reply. She had been so sure that Miroku surely fell deep for Sango. She, herself, was confused on why he said he hadn't felt the same.
"I don't know, Sango. I really don't, but I want you to hang in there. You were brave to tell him how you felt, you know. I admire you for that..." Kagome said as she broke the silence.
"I appreciate it, but admiration is no help for me now." Sango said sternly.
Kagome put her arm around Sango and sighed. Sango sat stiffly on her bed, and played with her ring with three charms.
============================================================================
'I wouldn't have found out that I... that I love you.' Sango's words ran through Miroku's mind all morning.
He laid in his bed and thought about her tear-streaked face. He thought about how in the back of the car, they hadn't spoke a single word. He thought about how he wasn't with her at this very moment.
"I do love you, Sango...but like I said before...I won't allow myself to hurt you. What I'm doing is right..."
Miroku stood up from his bed and went to the bathroom to wash his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He saw the face of Sango as she took a glance at him when he had told her that he couldn't feel the same.
The painful expression on her face pierced Miroku's heart. Miroku looked down at the draining water, he wiped his face with his hand and went back into his room.
'Am I doing the right thing?'
=============================================================================
It was night time, and Kagome was still at Sango's house. Her efforts to try and cheer her up were useless. A single smile had not once formed across Sango's face.
Kagome grew tired and yawned as she sat on Sango's carpet floor.
"Are you tired?" Sango asked.
"A little bit, but it's okay." Kagome placed her hands on the carpet and rested her head there.
"I'd give you my pillow, but I'm afraid...it's full...of tears." Sango mumbled her last words.
"You could probably use Inuyasha's pillow though. He won't mind since he's at work." Sango said softly.
Kagome nodded and went into Inuyasha's room.
She looked around, and laughed at how messy it was.
'Inuyasha's such a loser...' she laughed to herself.
She picked up his blanket off of the ground and placed it on his bed. Kagome picked up Inuyasha's pillow, but something had fallen on the ground. It looked like a piece of paper.
Kagome picked up the paper from the ground. It was a picture of Kikyo and him. Kagome recognized the picture from a long time ago.
'This... this was in Sango's drawer..' she thought to herself.
'Why was it under his pillow?' she asked to herself confused.
Kagome looked at the picture of him and Kikyo. Her smile faded into a confused frown. Suddenly, someone opened the door to Inuyasha's room.
"What're you doing in here?" a stern voice asked. It was Inuyasha.
He froze as he saw Kagome holding the picture of Kikyo.
"What's this?" she asked angrily.
"It's a picture." he said as he closed the door.
"I know it's a picture, but what's Kikyo doing on it?!" Kagome said louder.
"Is that any of your business?! It's my picture, now give it back!" he yelled as he tried grabbing it from her hands.
"So this is why you've been acting so weird, isn't it?!" she yelled back as she refused to give him back the picture.
"I haven't been acting any different!"
"Yes, yes you have. Ever since yesterday, you've been acting like nothing ever happened!"
Inuyash didn't reply and kept on trying to get back the picture. Kagome pushed him away.
"I want you to tell me now, Inuyasha." she said seriously.
"Tell you what?!"
"Did you mean what you said at the club opening?"
"What?"
"Did you, or did you not mean it when you told me that you loved me."
Inuyasha turned his head and looked away from her. He felt her eyes staring at him in sadness.
"Yes, I meant it." he replied without looking at her.
"I see. Now tell me this, do you love me because I look like Kikyo, or because of who I really am?" she asked as she held up the picture to his face.
Inuyasha backed away and looked down. He did not reply to her question.
"So that's what this has been about? Well...I'll tell you something, Inuyasha." she walked closer to him, her eyes were full of anger.
"I am not Kikyo. Like you said, I could never be Kikyo! MY NAME IS KAGOME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! I AM KAGOME!"
"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, KAGOME! BUT I CAN'T LOVE YOU. I DON'T LOVE YOU." he yelled back at her.
"THEN WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU MEANT WHAT YOU SAID? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, INUYASHA!"
Inuyasha fell silent, he did mean every word he said to her.
"I love Kikyo...she is the only one I've loved. She will be the only one I love. And nobody else will ever take her place!" he snapped at her.
Kagome looked down and the picture dropped from her hand. A tear dropped onto the picture. Inuyasha looked at Kagome, and noticed that she was sobbing.
"Kagome..." he said slowly.
"What?! Just let it be then." she said as she stood.
"Kagome I..."
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" she said as she lifted her head. Her eyes were full of tears.
Inuyasha backed away.
"I do love you, Inuyasha. Really, I do. I would fight anyone for your love in return." she walked closer to him.
"....but you tell me how am I suppose to fight a ghost?" she said slowly as she looked at him once more, and then walked out of his room.
Inuyasha just watched her say something to Sango, and then walk downstairs.
He picked up the picture of Kikyo from his carpet floor and wiped away Kagome's tear that had fallen on it.
'Maybe it's not your battle to fight, Kagome. Maybe it's not...'
============================================================================
It was midnight, and everyone was asleep. Well, almost everyone.
Sango lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She heard a soft knock on the door.
'Who could be visiting at a time like this?' she asked herself as she walked downstairs.
Her eyes widened as she saw Miroku at the door.
"Can we talk, Sango?" he asked her. She nodded as she closed the door behind her.
"So what is it?" she asked silently as they walked along the sidewalk.
"It's about... yesterday."
"Could've fooled me." she said sarcastically, but didn't laugh.
"Sango...I was scared."
"Oh!? And you think I wasn't?!" her voice rose.
"Sango, I can't fall in love."
"Oh, yeah right. You can't fall in love? Or you just don't want to fall in love with me?"
"Listen, I don't want to hurt you."
"And what're you calling what's happening right now?! I don't know what you think is going on between us at the moment, but it's hurting me! Whether you know it or not, it is Miroku. It's hurting me more than you know!" she started to yell.
"But it isn't my choice to hurt you."
"IT ISN'T YOUR CHOICE?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! It was your choice not to love me. It was your choice to hurt me. Everything is your choice!" Sango's voice echoed in the neighborhood.
"SANGO, I CAN'T LOVE YOU." he exclaimed.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED?!"
"No..." he said slowly.
"THEN WHY NOT?!" she nearly bit his head off.
"BECAUSE I CAN'T TRUST ANYBODY! I CAN'T GET CLOSE TO ANYONE! I CAN'T LOVE ANYONE!" he yelled. Sango stepped back at his anger and didn't respond.
"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I LIVE WITH KAGOME AND HER MOM? IT'S BECAUSE MY MOM DIDN'T WANT ME. SHE ABANDONED ME, SANGO. SHE DIDN'T WANT ME BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN THING." he held up his cursed hand.
"And what does that have to do with me?" she asked.
"I CAN'T LET MYSELF LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU MIGHT LEAVE ME TOO! You might run out on me also just like she did. You might leave me scarred for the rest of my life. I do love you, Sango. I do, but I won't let myself put you in danger because of my curse." he said sternly.
Sango was quiet for a moment and looked down. Miroku calmed down a bit, and then they stood in the night. The sky was lit up with stars.
"...trust me with your heart." Sango mumbled, but Miroku hadn't caught what she said.
"What?"
"You don't love me, Miroku. No matter what you say. Because if that's what's keeping you from loving me, then don't even love me at all." Miroku was taken back at her words.
"I would never leave you because of your curse. Never. Never have I ever thought about leaving you because of it. I'm sorry about your mother, but don't go on assuming that I'll happen to do the same. And the danger? Trust yourself on protecting me from it. You've lasted this long, what would a couple of years loving me make it any different?" Sango began to form tears in her eyes.
"I just wish... you would trust me, Miroku. I wish you would've. I wish you would trust me and stop running away." she said as she pushed his shoulder hard and walked back inside to her house.
Miroku stood on the sidewalk and heard her door slam. He looked up at her bedroom window and the lights were off. He sighed heavily and started walking back home.
Sango's words chanted in his mind as he walked.
'I wish you would trust me....'